Insanity On The Set, Please, by NachoManLance

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Talon. No offense to you my friend, but if I had a choice I'd pick Love Hina......

Note: I deeply apologize for the long delay! My computer got jacked and I had to get everything re-installed and fixed. It's been an agonizing wait and very frustrating getting all of my stff organized, but I've found some time to write this chapter for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Chapter 5: Not Even Close to the Oscars

"Action!"

Moving their set to a small thicket of trees near the back of the Hinata Apartments, Keitaro and his crew Haitani and Shirai shot the next big scene: Talon's journey to the evil fortress. Appearing from behind a hill, Lord Talon, with his hand near the hilt of his sheathed sword and looking very high and mighty of himself, made his way through the trees and bushs until stopping some five meters from the camera.

"The road is long and thy feet are sore," he recited, "If only an inn were nearby so I may rest."

Before Su could make her first movie appearance, a large semi truck swerved in so suddenly that no one could move. With its air horn blaring it skidded across the small set until it stopped some inches from the camera lens, with a wide-eyed Shirai behind it.

The door opened and out popped Seta, "Hey Keitaro! We came here with your movie props like you asked!"

Mutsumi hopped out from the passanger side and smiled her gentle smile, "I hired Professor Seta to help us bring in the props, that way we'd get here early!"

Everyone but them fell down in classic anime style.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As everyone helped unloading the many boxes of props from the truck, Mutsumi had taken a break and sat by a nearby rock underneath a tree. The cool shade and wind cooled her down and helped her relax.

"Oh no! Mutsumi, you hadn't fainted, have you?"

Mutsumi turned and saw Shinobu carrying a medium sized box in her arms, sighing in relief knowing she was okay.

"I'm fine Shinobu," said Mutsumi, "How about you come sit with me? The shade is quite nice."

"Thanks, I will." Shinobu dropped the box near her feet as she sat next to Mutsumi, relaxing herself.

After a few moments Mutsumi grew curious and searched the box for any interesting props she could play around with.

She took out two foot-long wooden sticks, resembling wands, and handed one to Shinobu.

"What do you think these are? Ara,..."

Shinobu inspected the wooden stick and let out a yelp of surprise, "These look just like those wands I've read in my Harry Potter books, Mutsumi!"

"Ara ara, they do!" Mutsumi playfully waved the wand around and said, "Stupefy!"

Suddenly a red flash erupted from the tip of the wand and the stun charm soared just mili-meters from Shinobu's head. They both pushed themselves back and gave each other blank stares from each other to their wands.

"Imperio!" Shinobu inchanted, forcing Mutsumi to flip in midair and do cartwheels all over the grass floor. Everyone who was lifting boxes dropped them and stared at the two wand-bearers.

At last Mutsumi snapped out of it and cheerfully pointed her wand at Shinobu and cried, "Impedimenta!"

Again and again they sent spells, curses, jinxes, anything they could think about from the books to each other, each comming with a comeback or a Sheild Charm. The onlookers grew bored and began working again, lifting boxes and setting up props.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

That night they set up everything needed for the movie, but because of the lateness of the day they couldn't film until tomorrow morning. They retired to the kitchen, where Shinobu cooked a great meal for everyone, and got ready for their baths. The girl left for their outdorr hot springs, while all the guys took seperate barrels and relaxed in the warm waters.

"Man, Shinobu never stops making delicious food," Talon commented, "I don't think Emeril can even 'Bam' his food better than she does." Him and Lance laughed, while the other guys gave them puzzled looks.

"He's an American cook," said Lance, noticing their faces, "Very famous...."

Still they didn't looked convinced.

"Nevermind,..."

"Hey, what scenes do we have to do next Keitaro?" Haitani asked.

Keitaro looked at Seta, "Well since HE brought a lot more props than asked for, we'll have to start over from Talon's first line in scene six."

"What did you want me to do, honk?" Seta nearly yelled.

At unison, everyone shouted at him, "EXACTLY!!"

"Would you guys be quiet up there?!" Naru shouted from below.

"Up yours, psyco bitch!" Haitani jeered back.

In a second her fist had extended squarely on his jaw and sent him soaring many miles upward, the guys sweatdropping at the sight.

"Hey Keitaro,.." Lance called, "How did..?"

"Don't ask, for God's sake don't ask...."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Some Harry Potter stuff wouldn't kill this story, would it? Too late to ask, it's already posted,....damn. Oh well, this time I promise to update more frequently so I won't have to leave you all hanging for more. The last thing I want is a raging mob at my door with torches and pitchforks. Wait a second, maybe I do.......nah.

NEXT TIME: Lord Talon faces his first task on his quest: Babysitting Sarah. Will he be able to pull it off alive?........HA!