IN HIS EYES By Sakura-dani

Disclaimer: Okay I shall say this right here and now-I do not own any of the CCS chara's CLAMP © are the wonderful people that do :D

Chapter fifteen-Two sides to the story.

Thursday morning-day 4, four more days to go

~Sakura's POV~

'Sakura-chan we really need to talk,' Tomoyo persisted austerely.

Sakura turned around in the corridor and saw Tomoyo standing there tapping her foot looking slightly impatient.

'T-Tomoyo-chan?' Sakura stepped forward towards her best friend.

'Please Sakura? I'm really worried about you,' Tomoyo glanced down at the floor looking sullen.

'O-okay Tomoyo.' Sakura gave in to her. She couldn't avoid her best friends questions any longer.

'This way then,' she grabbed Sakura by the sleeve gently and led her outside into the schoolyard. Tomoyo stopped in front of fairly large looking tree. Sakura watched the happy teenagers walking past chatting idly to one another; they were heading out for lunch.

'Tomoyo what's concerning you?' Sakura asked looking sincerely.

'Sakura-chan I have noticed that you and Syaoran aren't so-friendly with one another any more.. what's happening? You look sad all the time it worries me! I don't even see you eat much any more either!' Tomoyo looked like she was on the brink of tears.

Sakura hugged her and rubbed her back slowly, comforting her. 'Tomoyo I'm sorry I haven't told you much but I have been caught up with myself and all,' Sakura sighed feeling Tomoyo let go of their hug. They now looked one another in the eyes. 'Tomoyo.. why am I upset? Well listen carefully, I'll tell you all that's happened then.'

Tomoyo gawked opened mouthed as she listened to Sakura's tales about her and Syaoran, how Yelan had asked her to make Syaoran turn nice and no longer cold. How she found out about the bet with Takashi and him, how they loved each other.. and how she couldn't quite forgive Syaoran yet..

'Sakura this is so---kawaii!' Tomoyo slightly giggled, ' I knew you two would end up liking each other..'

'Yeah but now.. I don't know what to do. He says he'll prove he is worthy but why not simply drop the bet as a starter?' Sakura asked her eyes beginning to burn slightly as she thought about him.

'Maybe Sakura, just maybe he will. Maybe he's not ready to yet.. just Sakura promise me you wont throw him away so easily.I'm sure he means well.' Tomoyo placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder and then walked past her leaving Sakura standing there alone.

'I promise Tomoyo.' Sakura whispered as she watched Tomoyo head back up to the school. 'Hurry Syaoran.. please I just want everything to be all right again.'

*

After school

Sakura met up with Meiling as she did yesterday and Meiling led her to the limousine once more.

'Are you all right Sakura? You look kinda guilty of something.' Meiling asked as they sat down inside the car.

'I-I'm fine!' Sakura blushed. Meiling was right Sakura did look very guilty. Sakura was beginning to feel extremely guilty about her secret with Yelan. It didn't feel right to conceal this from Syaoran at all. 'Just a little tired,' Sakura did a fake yawn covering her mouth with her hand.

''Kay.what homework has Syaoran got today?' Meiling asked taking her seatbelt off and moving over to sit next to Sakura.

'Oh Syaoran's got Japanese and History homework today,' Sakura beamed.

Meiling chortled, 'Syaoran hates doing History and especially Japanese. He'll surely love you now!' she giggled covering her mouth trying to prevent herself from laughing anymore.

'Hoe?' Sakura stared at her. What she had said sounded quite odd.'Meiling how was Syaoran this morning?'

'Oh-' she stopped laughing and looked at her now, '-he's doing a bit better now, seems like he'll have a lot of fun doing more homework too!'

Right then Wei opened the door and bowed at Sakura. A cold chill sent up her spine, it looked rather windy now.

'Oh,' she blushed not realizing that the car had stopped. She hopped out and bowed back to him and then headed for the front door, Meiling walking right behind her.

As Sakura entered the house she saw Yelan standing at the front of the door staring at her with a sweet smile on her face.

'Hello Sakura welcome!' she smiled leaning over to peer at her more closely.

'Hello,' she bowed, 'how are you?'

'I'm fine thank you. Now I assume you wish to see Xiao Lang?' Yelan asked while pulling off her scarf and placing it on the hanger near the door.

Sakura nodded politely once more. 'Yes I have some more homework for him.'

Yelan nodded and tugged at her shirt collar straightening it. 'Good, good.'

'Aunt Yelan I'm gonna go out into the backyard!' Meiling said suddenly.

'Okay you do that,' Yelan chuckled and then headed for the kitchen without another word. Sakura was left there standing on the spot feeling slightly dumb founded. Sakura shrugged it off and made her way back up the stairs, three at a time.

She once more found herself standing in front of Syaoran's bedroom door. She took a deep breath and then knocked. She silently waited for Syaoran to speak.

'Come in,' Syaoran sounded very inviting and she found herself inside his room once again.

'Hello Syaoran how are you this afternoon?' she beamed.

'I'm better then yesterday-' he stopped speaking and let out a dry cough.

'Don't lie Syaoran, you still seem quite sick you know,' she giggled, 'well I have some more homework for you to do.' She grinned.

Syaoran moaned unhappily. 'Jeesh! Can't they gimme a break?! I'm sick! I finished yesterdays though here-' he took the several pieces of paper off of his bedside table and handed them to her.

'Thanks,' she folded them up neatly and placed them inside her bag. 'Here's your new homework then. History and Japanese!'

Syaoran did not hesitate to groan once more. He took this homework a little more reluctantly then yesterdays to. 'Do I have to do it?' he complained glaring at the five new pieces of paper with work on them.

'Well if you want a good grade then yes. If you wish to fail then don't do it. The choice is simply yours, but I have a feeling Miss Li will not be too happy with your performance if you fail.' She waggled a finger cautiously, grinning zealously.

Syaoran blushed. 'Why would she care?' He said in a low tone, 'she has never cared.'

'Syaoran that's not true!' Sakura exclaimed taking a seat on the edge of his bed again. 'What makes you think that so much? She loves you!'

'Yeah right.I told you she neglected me! She hit me! I was a mere child for goodness sakes!' Syaoran raised his voice slightly.

'I know for a fact that she does love you Shaoran-more then anything in the word in fact. She cares for you so much that she got me to-' she stopped herself right then. Once more she was letting something important slip. He always had this way of making her tell him things; maybe it was his amber eyes.?

'Got you to do what?' he raised an eye skeptically. His bedroom window was open slightly letting in the cold draft rustling his hazelnut brown hair. Sakura shivered slightly, tugging at her school jumper.

Sakura exhaled and held her hand to her heart. She then looked him in the eyes and stared long and hard.

'Syaoran.. I have something to tell you also, I myself have not been completely truthful.' she stopped to look at him. He looked slightly shocked at hearing the fact that she said she wasn't too truthful herself. 'Syaoran.although this was not a bet or anything-I feel it's just as deceiving I guess. Your mother got Meiling to confront me-ask me to do her a favor. A favor she felt she couldn't do herself. That task was to try and befriend you, make you nice.. stop you from being so callous.' She felt her eyes sting again, she didn't like the way Syaoran was looking at her right then.

'Excuse me? I didn't hear that did I?' his voice trembled slightly. 'Y- you're blaming me for a bet and you-you were just trying to make me nice so my mother could get to me? Is that it!?'

'No-no Syaoran! I-I agreed to do it also because I didn't like the way you took your bad moods out on other people. But Syaoran half the time when I was with you I forgot all about what Yelan wanted me to do. I actually loved being around you-I do love you,' she bowed her head silently.

'Sakura how can you be so mad at me when you did something just as appalling? Do you not feel ashamed at yourself? I know I feel ashamed at myself, I hate myself for doing it, but I really mean it when I say I love you..' She saw a tear escape from his eye; this certainly did the job in crushing her heart.

'S-Syaoran I am eternally sorry! Please-this was no wager of any sort; I just wanted to help you really. It was your interests best at heart, and I helped you, I am your friend, I always will be just I am also hurt.'

'Not as much as me-I finally opened my heart to someone and now I feel like I can trust no one.' Sakura couldn't believe it Syaoran was really crying. She felt like embracing him, telling him that everything was going to be all right, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

'I-I'm so sorry Syaoran.. can we put this all behind us? We're even, what we both did was wrong.. but I feel it can be forgiven.' she pleaded desperately. She was feeling so concerned for him now.

'Maybe it can, maybe it can't I have to decide.. maybe our friendship wasn't important at all, maybe me loving you is just a glitch? I know I did something wrong, but you also doing something wrong is traumatizing to hear,' Syaoran shook again avoiding her eyes.

'S-Syaoran..' She also began to sob, 'I'M SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME! LET'S BOTH FORGIVE EACH OTHER!' she screamed, tears running down her cheeks.

Syaoran finally looked into her eyes, his looked hollow and cold, they didn't have that shine to them anymore, that adoration for her, she just saw them filled with tears.

'I-I love you.but now I have to erase that feeling too?' his hand gripped his quilt tightly as he spoke.

Sakura couldn't take it any longer; she couldn't stand being in his presence right now. He looked extremely sad, and she thought she was sad? She picked up her bag and ran at full speed out of his room, down the stairs and out the door leaving Syaoran there to mope.

*

~Syaoran's POV~

Syaoran summoned what strength he had left in him to grab his diary and open it. He had to write this entry in. Tears splashed down on the diary pages as he wondered where to begin.

Dear diary,

Sakura has just told me that part of friendship was meant in making me turn polite and kind, all because my mother wished for her to do so. That is so cowardice of my mother! Always using others to do her job! I hate her! She had to make me love Sakura, no matter what I do I can never erase her from my heart-it's too hard. I love her with all of my heart, well what's left of it. It appears we have both cheated one another in some way, me with the bet and her with my mother's scheming. How can I ever trust anyone again? I just can't can I? I really hate myself and being here, it hurts so much! Always being the one without love, and now when I feel it it's snatched away from me once more. I guess I'm just not meant to ever be happy.. now I am to hold onto my love for Sakura throughout my entire life knowing that I'll never have her never be with her. I just can't do that! It's too hard. Who's to miss me if I disappear? Maybe I should just disappear.I have no point of being on this planet.. I don't deserve love either.I shouldn't even be aloud to feel love; after all I am the callous one! My love is eternal for Sakura it is, but I am not worthy of her. Mother just used her to get to me that's all! I am now going to be spending my next few hours coming upon a decision of whether I am worthy of even living on this planet anymore, good bye for now (or forever?)

Kanashii Syaoran Li (Sad little wolf)

As Syaoran shut his diary and placed it back in his draw he walked over to his balcony and stood there until the sun had set.. he cried silently still in confusion of what his decision was. Should he just-give in and let his life fade away? It was a great opportunity as well since he was still not feeling too good.. this decision could change many people's lives; he wondered what Sakura would do? He hated to see her cry too it was painful, but he still felt a silent anger towards her as well. But it wasn't intentionally her fault his cunning and conniving mother had tricked her. But still he felt he had lost everything..

'Sakura what should I do? Will I hurt you if I leave? I don't want to hurt you anymore then you already are, but you have hurt me too, we have both wounded each other's hearts. Is it repairable though? Oh I am still not sure on what to do..' Syaoran sighed. How was he to make a decision? Was he to commit suicide? He somehow felt this was a coward's way out himself, but he wasn't sure if he could live that pain much more. 'Soon my decision will be made-soon..'

*

A/N: Aww poor Syaoran *huggles him too death* Sorry if this is a bit short ^^o But I have my reason's on ending this chapter as I did=) let's say the end to this story is near too :( I'm quite sad about that but oh wells R+R please ^_^ thanks!

Dani-chan