Chapter two!! This was really fun to write, trying to mix this song in with the thin mans persona. I think I did a good job! (Pay close attention to the lyrics and you'll see what I mean)
Thin man no belongs to me (sigh) neither does the song. Unwell is copyright MatchBox20. Nothing Gold can stay is copyright Robert Frost.
And thus, the disclaimers end…*bows *
_______________________
All day/ staring at the ceiling makin'/
Friends with shadows on my wall/
All night/ hearin' voices telling me/ that I should get some sleep/
Because tomorrow might be good/ or something
It was 2 am, stars where still lingering in the sky overhead, but the moon was beginning its morning slumber. Anthony leaned over the balcony of his private, seaside residence, watching as the moon inched slowly beneath its ocean bed. He loved the ocean, he loved the way the waves where so human: sometimes they where furious and violent, others they where pleasant and agreeable, they where like people, and he appreciated their company on slow mornings like these.
He couldn't sleep; he hadn't slept since that night, 3 days ago. It went by in such a rush, at one moment he had her against the wall, the next she was in his arms, and soon after he was out the door. Things shouldn't have gone by so fast, he should've stayed, but he just couldn't do it. She made him feel so alive, but at the same time nervous as hell. She was his angel, but as being an angel she was untouchable in many ways, at least, by him.
Hold on/ feeling like Im headed for a/ break down.
And I don't know why/ But Im not crazy im just a little unwell/
I know, right now you cant tell/
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see / a different side of me.
He was so different from her, as he had seen. She was so lively, so wild and untamed and welcomed. He saw himself as an outcast, someone who was cast out of the world he once knew. He felt that a long time ago…
When he lived at the orphanage, no body treated him like a human except mother superior. She was so kind, so understanding, but he couldn't trust her. It's truly saddening when a young 7-year-old boy can't even trust a nun. But he couldn't, something inside his mind told him not to.
Anthony took a long drag on his clove, and puffed a smoke-ring out into the distant sea. He started to wonder how he ever even started smoking, it was such a nasty habit, but it calmed the nerves.
Im not crazy Im just a little impaired/I know right now you don't care/
But soon enough your gonna think of me/
And how I use to be…me.
He was 16, he remembered he was 16; some of the other boys at the orphanage had snuck out and bought some playboys, beers and smokes. But while they where ogling women's breasts and getting drunk, he was over in the corner, perched on his bed and reading Revelations. They teased him, called him a "Mute" and threw a pack in his lap, daring him to light one up and be a "man".
Anthony had reached his breaking point, and instead of jumping them all he grabbed the pack, pulled out a stick and lit it. Normally, when people take their first puff on a cig, they hack and cough and pretty much don't agree with it right away, but with him, it seemed so natural. The fiery smoke flowed through his lungs and warmed up his insides, and did the same as they flowed out his mouth past his lips. It made him completely at ease.
Talkin' to myself in public/ and dodgin' glances on the train/
And I know/ I know they've all been talking bout me/
I can hear them whisper/
And it makes me think there must be something wrong/ with me Out of all the hours thinking/ "somehow, I've lost my mind"After that, things where a complete blur, he couldn't even remember how he knew martial arts, he didn't even remember how he survived the explosion from Knox's castle, or how he managed to survive falling from the building at the premier. Things just always seemed to fall in place for him. For a while he began to wonder if he was even alive, that perhaps he was just some visible specter that refused to go to the grave.
He just shook his head agreeing with himself that the whole idea was nonsense, pure nonsense. Something that a loony would think up…but isn't that what he was?
Anthony glanced up at the slow rising of the sun, as he often did on sleepless nights. He had to admit, he wasn't a normal human being. He had more arguments with himself than he did amongst people. In fact, he didn't associate with many people, except his monthly haircut up at the orphanage. Why did he continually go up there for a trim anyways? What was making him go?
Glancing back down at the bay below, he started to admire the shimmer of the suns rays against the water, turning it into thousands of tiny diamonds. Suddenly, within those diamonds and ripples, he could make out some sort of face, hidden within the curves of the sea. It was her face, her smile shone with the suns light, her eyes glimmering like jewels.
Her.
But Im not crazy im just a little unwell/
I know, right now you cant tell/
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see / a different side of me.
The image began to fade as the tide rolled in, leaving nothing but the small reflection of his, own face in the shallow waters below. Anthony flicked his cigarette into the water, distorting the reflection into small waves.
How could she stand to look at him like she did? How could she stand him at all? It seemed impossible for anyone to ever want to be near someone as…grotesque as him. Someone so, unusual and introverted, but for some reason she seemed to not mind him at all. Maybe a little more than "not mind", maybe even more than that, but as I had mentioned earlier she made him nervous as hell. She was so perfect, and he wasn't, he was the beast and she was belle.
Im not crazy Im just a little impaired/
I know right now you don't care/
But soon enough your gonna think of me/
And how I use to be…
He knew they couldn't have a normal life together; it would be corrupted and confusing, awkward and pretty much impossible. He wasn't made for this sort of thing, he knew it, but he wanted it so much.
He turned his gaze back to the sun; it was halfway over the horizon, sending a wave of gold over the morning sky. It was beautiful, and reminded him of that poem by Robert Frost, Nothing gold can stay. The poem never left his mind, because it meant so much more to him than what it had truly intended to point out.
Anthony leaned more onto the rail of the balcony and closed his eyes, getting all the golden rays on his face and feeling the true warmth of the sun. He use to do this back at the orphanage whenever he couldn't sleep, he'd stay up all night reading, then when the clock would strike at the precise time, he'd walk over to the window and face the sunrise; his eyes closed and all his senses focused on the morning light. It was the only comfort he needed.
It was how he use to be…
I've been talkin in my sleep/
Pretty soon they'll come to get me/
Yah, They're taking me away!
But he wasn't like that anymore was he?
Anthony opened his eyes and walked over to the patio door. He wasn't a child anymore; he didn't need comfort to survive, he was past all that. He reached for the door handle, but then stopped.
If he didn't need comfort, then why did he need her so much?
He let go of the handle. This was true, why did he need her so much? Why did he crave her scent, her touch, her entire being every time he thought about her? Why was he seeing her reflection in the water or hearing her voice in the wind?
But Im not crazy im just a little unwell/
I know, right now you cant tell/
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see / a different side of me.
Anthony dropped to the ground on his knees. It was true, he needed her and he wanted her. But could she accept him as he was?
Im not crazy Im just a little impaired/I know right now you don't care/
But soon enough your gonna think of me/
And how I use to be…
Anthony turned back to the rising sun, but alas, it had already risen and the golden warmth of the morning had faded to plain heat. The clouds lost their beautiful pink and orange color and had dulled to plain cotton white.
Anthony returned to the door, and to his thoughts. Maybe things could go somewhere with her, maybe things could change. Maybe…
Anthony opened the door and went inside. However, if he had remained outside, he might've noticed the small golden glimmer that remained in the water, shinning in the morning suns light.
How I use to be…
_____________
Ooooo!! Wasn't that amusing children? HMMM!? Ah well, I try. *shrugs * I hope I don't get killed for this…
Please leave me with plenty of fun-a-licious reviews. They give me POWAH! The power to write a 3rd chapter if I get enough reviews that tell me to so ^_^
