Part 8

Ok. This is it. My very future and happiness depends on this very day. God, I hope this goes all right.

I walk into CJ's office through the door connected to my office. CJ was sitting in her usual position with her legs on the desk and her glasses on her head, reading some report.

"Idiot boy, don't you knock?"

"Claudia Jean, I recall more than several occasions where you barged into my office without the slightest bit of warning." I said sarcastically, like my usual smug self.

"Are you sure you want to be smart with the person who holds your life happiness in her hands?" CJ gave me a don't-mess-with-me-or-question-me look.

"Right. Ok CJ. What's the plan?" I asked taking a seat nervously.

"Well, if we kept this a secret and someone finds out, no matter what we say it'll look like we agree that your relationship with Donna is wrong and that's why we hid it all this while. If we announce your relationship, it would look like we are trying too hard especially since we do not comment on the personal lives of the White House staff. So, I figured we have them ask the question." CJ said getting excited on her last remark.

"What?" I asked completely lost to what she had said.

"Well, there's the State Dinner in a week. Bring Donna and act all lovey–dovey or whatever and the press will surely ask me about it during the briefing. I won't elaborate since we don't comment on your personal lives but I will somehow mention your relationship is approved by the White House and it doesn't affect your working relationship." CJ explained.

"Okay. That sounds good. But CJ, what if they play our relationship like something immoral or…." I started but was cut off by CJ.

"Josh, we would defend your relationship all the way. No matter what happens, we will always be on your side. Besides, even if you get some negative press, I'm certain it would die down especially since I don't thing any of the White House reporters that have been here since the beginning would think any less of your relationship. They like Donna, I doubt they would write anything that would hurt her." CJ said.

"Okay. I hope you're right. So, that's it? We wait until the State Dinner?" I asked getting out of the seat.

"Not so fast buster. Have you conveniently forgotten about discussing this with Leo and the President?" CJ asked.

Damn, and I thought this was it. Oh dear, suddenly I feel like an elementary school boy sent to see the principle. God, my stomach is doing some kind of summersault. I think I might through up any second.

"Joshua! You're turning green." CJ said trying to stop a smirk.

"Not funny CJ." I said.

"Well go see them at the end of the day. You don't want to spend the rest of the day avoiding Leo, right? So, why don't you tell Sam and Toby in the mean time. " CJ

I nodded and went back to my office. I'm even dreading telling Sam about me and Donna. He's going to be so Sam-like about it especially when I tell him that I confessed my feelings for Donna a month ago! God, this day is just getting better and better isn't it?

It's almost lunch time. I think I'll go see if Sam's free.

"Hi Ginger. Is Sam available now?" I asked Sam's assistant.

"Umm..Yup, he's free for lunch. You can go in if you want." Ginger said looking at Sam's schedule I presume.

I knock on Sam's door and enter his office.

"Hello Josh. What brings you to this part of town?" Sam asked in his usual enthusiastic voice.

"Ginger said you're free for lunch. Wanna go grab something to eat with me?" I asked trying not to sound like I've got something important to discuss with him.

"Sure. Is there something the matter?" Sam asked. Damn, why is he so observant?

"Yeah. Just need to tell you something." I said.

"Okay. We'll go now. I'm starved." Sam said grabbing his jacket and leading me out of his office.

We end up at a Turkish Café just two blocks down. After Sam and I ordered our food, there was an unusual silence between us.

"So what's up? You said you wanted to tell me something." Sam asked breaking the silence. Well, it's now or never. Brace yourself Josh Lyman!

"Sam, I need to tell you something important. I need you not to interrupt me until I've finished. Just listen okay? It might get shocking but just hold your horses until I'm completely done." I told Sam rather sternly.

"Okay, I promise. Go ahead." Sam said motioning me to begin.

I took a deep breath. I told him about everything from the very beginning which was since Donna took care of me after the shooting. I told him that he was right when he accused me of having more than platonic feelings for Donna.

Then, I continued about how I confessed my feelings for her a month ago. Sam's eyes were almost going to pop out when I told him that. I glanced him a daring look when he almost said something at that point. Well, then I continued on how Donna said she didn't feel the dame way. And finally I gave him details about the weekend in New York City and my discussions with CJ.

For the longest time, the two of us were silent. I think this would be a record for me and Sam.

"Okay, you can say something now." I said realizing Sam might have assumed I wasn't done and therefore he wasn't allowed to speak.

"Wow. I don't know where to start. You sprang a lot on me Josh, all at one go. Well, first of all, I would like to express my…my…hurt, that you did not tell me anything earlier. Like, you know, what happened A MONTH ago!! But….I guess you didn't tell anyone else yet except CJ due to obvious reasons. And you do have the whole telling Leo and the President today. I guess I could let you off easy for now. But I'll be all over your back about this before you know it." Sam said.

I felt a big weight on my chest being lifted. That's the Sam I know. He can't be mad for long.

"Thanks Sam. That means a lot to me." I said being uncomfortable with all these open feelings I seem to be sharing.

"So, I'm still shocked Donna fell for you of all people. I mean she's a great catch, she could get anyone she wanted." Sam said.

"I resent that!" I yelled at Sam.

I spent the rest of our lunch bantering and convincing Sam that Donna does love me and I wasn't imagining the whole thing.

It's almost 9pm now and I heard a knock at my office door.

"Yeah?" I said not really looking up. "Josh?" I heard Donna call me and I instantly looked up. She looked radiant as usual. I saw her the whole day and yet I find her stunning every second I look at her. Okay, I better snap out of it before she realizes she's in love with a lunatic.

"Ah, Donnatella. How nice to see you?" I asked half mocking which caused her to roll her eyes.

"I'm done with the letters you asked me to write. Anything else you need?" Donna said closing the door behind her.

"Well, now that you mention it…" I looked at her up and down.

"Joshua!" She said sternly which caused me to startle a little.

I laughed a little giving her an 'I'm sorry' look. " I talked to Sam. He's really happy for us. He's mad at me for not telling him sooner just as I expected. He's also not totally convinced that you could actually fall for me." I said causing Donna to smile wide. I obviously amused her.

"Yeah, I'm starting to wonder about that myself." Donna started to tease.

"Don't even go there Donnatella Moss. Anyway, you should probably go home. I have to go talk to Leo and the President. I'm thinking of telling them at one go." I said.

"Well, that's a good idea. No point getting yelled at for the same thing twice. You sure you don't want me to go with you? I mean it's not only your fault you know. I feel like I'm putting all the burden on you and that's not fair." Donna said looking all worried. She's gorgeous when she's worried. Her forehead all crinkles up like a cute bunny rabbit.

"No. I need to do this alone. You can speak to them tomorrow if you want. Don't worry Donna. It'll be okay." I said not convincing myself.

"Okay Josh. See you tomorrow. Call me tonight." Donna said and left.

Okay. This is it. I have to go tell two of the most important men in America that I have fallen in love with my assistant.

I walked to the Oval Office with CJ. She's been great through all this and it is just the beginning.  I felt nauseated walking into the Oval Office. Leo was there with the President.

"Good evening Mr. President. Good evening Leo." I greeted them. So did CJ.

"Ah. Josh. CJ said you had something you had to discuss with me and Leo. Tell us what's on your mind." President Bartlet said while signing some documents.

"Well, Sir. It is sort of a personal matter. You see…..Well….I….Well.." I stuttered not being able to find the right words. Damn, I thought I nailed this and now I'm drawing a complete blank.

"Spill it out Josh. Some of us would like to get out of here sometime today to get some sleep." Leo growled which only made my more nervous.

"Sorry. You see, I have come to realize something about Donna. Well, I realized this sometime ago. But nothing happened. Well, I kinda have developed these feelings for her." I started to ramble something which I'm pretty sure did not make any sense.

"Ah, my boy is all grown up. So you finally realized you are head over heels for Donna." The President said causing me to be stunned.

"You knew Sir? I didn't even know until recently." I said.

"Josh, we all knew. And we knew that you were too dumb and preoccupied with yourself to realize it." President Bartlet continued.

I looked at Leo. And he nodded agreeing with the President.

"Okay, so did you tell her? Or being your dumb self did you skip that part?" Leo asked me. Was I just called dumb twice today in the Oval Office?

"Yes Sir. And she feels the same way. We know this is not the best time to have a relationship. That's why CJ came up with a plan and we want you to hear it." I said.

CJ continued from then telling the about her plan and the State Dinner.

"Allright, it's all set then." The President said.

"Sir ?" I asked not sure what his decision was.

"Josh, you have put your life on hold for too long. You have taken a bullet for us, for Christ's sake. The least you should get out of it is to be with the woman you love. And I know these feelings for Donna is the real thing. So, go ahead with the plan. You have my permission and blessing." The President said.

Wow, a Presidential blessing. Not everyone can say that about their relationships.

"Thank you Sir. I promise, the minute this becomes really hurtful for the administration, I'll resign." I said.

"That won't be necessary. Like I said before, as long as I have a job here, you will too. I ram glad to hear about you and Donna. Your father would've been proud." Leo said

making me kind of misty.

"Thank you. Thank you Mr. President." I said as CJ and I started to leave the office.

"And Josh. If you hurt her, I'll have the Secret Service behead you." The President said causing me to smirk. When I realized he looked dead serious I just quickly said "Yes, Sir."

Okay. So far so good. I can relax a little now until the day after the State Dinner anyway.

I really wanted to go to Donna's tonight and tell her the good news face to face. But CJ wouldn't let me. She said any false move from now until dinner would look like we had to come clean about our relationship. I decided I have to be strong until then. It is only a week after all. The longest week of my life.

****************************************************

Josh just called me. I'm ecstatic with the news. I'm also still shocked about the fact that the President and Leo knew how we felt about each other. Were we that obvious? Well, maybe they only know how he felt for me. They didn't imply that I was obvious too.

Anyway, I'm a little more relaxed today compared to the past days. I truly hope things don't get worse after the State Dinner. Oh no! The Dinner! I have nothing to wear. Oh well, I guess I have to do some serious shopping. That might be fun. I can't remember the last time I bought myself something nice anyway. Well, actually I haven't gone shopping for over a month I'm sure.

Suddenly, I started to think about the rape. I haven't done anything for myself since the 'incident'. I can't believe my life took such an unbelievable turn the past week. Here I thought there's no way I could find happiness anymore and I could never get over the 'incident'. Thanks to Joshua Lyman, I think I can have eternal joy with the man I love with all my heart and soul. Joshua….Oh dear….I haven't told him about the 'incident'. I don't think I can tell him. It'll be too hard. Maybe I'll have the courage to tell him someday soon. Not too soon. I don't think he'll take it well at all. Oh goodness, I can't do that to him. Okay, Donnatella stop obsessing about this. It would most probably drive me crazy. First I have to get though the State Dinner and whatever comes after that. God I hope that goes well.

I got to work early the next morning. I woke up early feeling nervous about seeing the Senior Staff now that they know about my relationship with Josh. Josh said they are all oddly happy about us but I still need to be sure for myself.

I'm sitting at my desk and saw Leo walking in the bullpen.

"Hi Leo. What are you doing this part of town?" I asked and immediately felt really silly.

"Oh, I wanted to see you actually." Leo said as be approached my desk.

"Oh? What can I do for you?" I asked as I felt my heart pound harder making me feel a little queasy.

"Well, as you probably know, Josh told us about you two. And I want you to know that I'm very happy for you both." Leo started.

I slowly smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you Leo. I know this is probably the worst time and I'll understand if you think we shouldn't be together." I stated.

"No.. No Donna. I know this is not absolutely great for the administration. But for the two of you, especially Josh, this is the greatest thing that could happen. I've known Josh for a long time, and I've seen him date other women and all. But he has never been this happy before or even truly in love before. He's been surviving the past year because of you Donna. And I'm ever so grateful that you are in his life. There's no way I would stop the two of you from being together. It probably would be a hard road to go through but I do believe that people will realize your love for each other is pure and well…..the real thing I guess. So, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for taking care of Josh all this time and making sure we didn't loose him. And I'm glad the two of you finally got a clue without having me bang your heads together." Leo said.

I became all misty and had a hard time controlling my tear gland. I can't cry in front of the Chief of Staff for goodness sake. I managed to pull myself together and thanked Leo for his kind words.

The rest of the day was busy with work as usual. I had lunch with Sam and CJ. They both were still unsure that I could actually fall for a moron like Josh. Hey, those were their words, not mine. CJ prepared me on how to present myself during the State Dinner. She also decided that we should go ball dress shopping the next day.

After much pleading to Josh, he finally gave me a three hour lunch break so I can go shopping with CJ. I had to get shoes, accessories and a handbag as well as Josh said he wouldn't give me more than a half hour lunch break for the rest of the week. It was worth it though. I bought the most amazing dress that CJ is convinced that would make Josh's eyes pop out…among other things…I had some extra money that enabled me to afford the dress as I hadn't done much shopping in a while.

Well, now I'm all prepped and prepared for the dinner. All that is left is attending it and hoping for the best.

TO BE CONTINUED…….