Part 20

This is the most amazing feeling ever. I don't know how to describe it. Josh and I just told CJ, Sam and Toby about the news. They were all so thrilled and relieved. Even Toby showed some emotion. Josh spread the news to the President and Leo. They were also overjoyed but somehow they were very confident that this is how it would turn out. A little too confident if you should ask me.

Having said that, you might think that all I could think of is how ecstatic and utterly relieved I feel right now. But guess what, I don't. Don't get me wrong I do feel fulfilled and relieved with this outcome but that's not what I'm thinking about. I actually can't get Josh out of my mind. I know he's always on my mind but I mean I can't stop thinking about jumping him! From the time he told me the news and I launched a kiss at him. Oh how I long to have continued that kiss…….

I know I want to make love to Josh. I wasn't sure I was ready before but now I'm completely certain….but that doesn't mean the images would just go away. I'm truly hoping they would, now that I know who the man was and that he's in jail. I have been seeing my therapist once a week. She says the images could just stop or faze out slowly. She also said they could reappear from time to time even if I think they have stopped. All in all, she didn't put my mind at ease even the slightest bit.

In addition to all this, Josh has been acting rather strange since Tuesday. I feel he's been avoiding me. I'm assuming he was pissed at me for not going home with him that night. Maybe the whole leaving a note did not help either. He's such a baby. I can't afford a cleaning person like he can. The man's got to get over it. However, I hate being without him at as well. I can barely sleep. My bed is all cold and I keep reaching for him. As if I haven't been sleeping without him next to me for all my life. Sheesh…

It's Friday already and Josh is still odd. I stayed with him the past two nights but he seemed to want to go to sleep straight away. If you ask me, I think he's sexually frustrated. He has every right to be though.

"Donna Moss. Just the person I want to see."

"Hey CJ. What's up?" I get up from my desk.

"I believe these are for you. Jane came by to my place last night and dropped these off."

CJ hands me a bunch of letters. Letters? Why would Jane drop off letters for me?

"What are these? Letters from…..who the heck are these people? From DC, Connecticut, Ohio? What are these CJ?"

"Letters from people who are grateful towards you. The other victims. Detective Riedel had called all the other women to tell them that McCain confessed assaulting them. He also told them briefly how he had been caught. Some of them wrote letters for you and sent them to Riedel knowing that you prefer to maintain your privacy."

I'm starring at the letters. This is kind of overwhelming. I don't even know these women.

"If you want to read it at home, that's fine. But if not, you can use my office. I'll have to go to the press room anyway. Unless you want someone to be there with you. I'll be back soon if you could wait." CJ's rambling again. She's worried about me.

"Thanks CJ. I'll use Josh's office. He's gone to the hill. I think I want to read them now." I'm too curious and leaving them would just prevent me from concentrating on my work.

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"Well, I think so. I'll just have to read them and see what happens."

"I'll be back soon. I'll check on you once I'm back." CJ is frowning. I think her eyebrows could just knot up right now.

"Don't worry CJ. I'll be here anyway."

I finally get into Josh's office and shut the door. I should sit at his chair. It's more comfortable and I believe something like this deserves the comfy chair.

There are all together six letters. Wow, six letters in just two days time. I haven't received more than five letters in a month. I read the first few. They are all so amazing. The women are so grateful towards me and the others who helped out. If they only knew, most of the work was done by the others and not me. The letters were similar in the sense that the women all said they feel a sense of relieve and closure that they never thought was possible to attain.

The one from Ohio was so touching and sad. She's the one who wasn't drugged but her case didn't have enough evidence to convict him. She said in the letter that she moved away from Cincinnati because her life was ruined as number of people judged her and treated her as if she was the one who committed the crime. My heart just pours for her. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like.

There is one letter that captured me though. It is from a lady named Marissa Matthews from Buffalo.

'I don't know how to thank you enough. You and your Scooby gang I hear did the most tremendously outstanding job catching the useless piece of waste. I have to say, I thought I was over the whole incident with intense therapy sessions. I really thought I was fine and it didn't affect me anymore. That was until I found out about the jerk being caught and confessing to the crimes. Of course I had a huge sense of happiness and a feeling that justice has been finally served but that would be expected. It was what I felt when I made love to my husband after the detective informed me that the guy was caught. That feeling is what was completely unexpected. I felt like I made love to my husband for the first time. Totally unrestrained, explosive and emotionally it was unbelievably gratifying. I never thought this is how it's supposed to feel like. That lowlife took that away from me for years. Now I finally got it back thanks to you. I hope you are also able to feel the freedom when making love to the one you love. Trust me, it is better than the best thing you've ever experienced. My prayers will include well wishes for you and your loved once from now on.

Yours gratefully,

Marissa Matthews.'

This is a sign. I'm ready to make love to Josh and nothing's going to stop me. Not jitters, not his odd mood and certainly not Aaron McCain. It is my right to make love unconditionally to my man. To experience and feel what Marissa felt. It is my right.

Josh came back from the meeting about a half hour after I read the letters. I showed the letters to him and the rest of the gang as they deserve to receive them as much as I do. Well, all the letters except Marissa's one. That I'm going to keep it for myself. At least for now. They were all so touched and pleased by reading those letters just as I was and they fully deserve to feel this way.

Now, I'm trying to think of a way to ask Josh to let me take a slightly longer lunch so I get take a trip to Victoria Secret.

"Josh, I'm going out for lunch. Will be back by 2.30. I'll have my cell on."

"2.30?" Crap, he caught it. I honestly thought I could slip it in while he's reading the agriculture memo.

"Yeah, I need to get some stuff done." Don't ask…don't ask…

"Alright. Make sure your cell is on." Huh? I told you his behaviour was odd the past few days. Maybe I can cheer him up tonight. Joshua Lyman, just wait and see what I'll have in store for you baby.

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Donna has gone out for lunch. I wonder what she has to do. I didn't ask because I've been trying not to look her into the eyes much the past few days. She can read me like a book and I don't want her guessing what I'm scheming. I'm going to ask her to move in with me tonight. The bathroom will be all set up by then.

I think receiving those letters did make a huge difference to Donna and the rest of us. The thought of being able to help someone in such a way has brought such satisfaction to all of us. All the hassle and grueling times has been completely paid off now. It was all so worth it.

I've been watching Donna from my office all day long. I could swear she's been glowing since she came back from lunch. She's been in a great mood as well. I guess it should be because of the letters.

"Hey, Josh. Mind if I take off a little early today? I've finished the files you needed for today and made your appointments tomorrow. All you have left is to read through these reports. I don't think you'll be needing me. So can I go?" I look at the time. It's half past nine. Why does she need to leave now? Isn't she coming home with me?

"Why? Aren't you coming home with me? If you'll give me about a half hour, we'll go home together."

"Well, Kimmy just called me and she wanted to have dinner with me tonight. We have barely talked to each other for so long and I really should tell her about what's been going on all this while. She had been there for me from the beginning. And I figured it would probably take some time so I'll just stay at my place tonight." No..No….I was going to ask you to move in with me. It would have been perfect. I don't want to wait any longer. I don't want any more days like this where you have to spend the night at your place.

"Does it have to be tonight? Can't Kimmy wait a day or two?" Great going Lyman. Now she's going to think you're an arrogant self-centered bastard. Which I kind of am.

"Josh, I already promised her. I knew what I needed to do today and I finished it. I don't think there's anything important that's left for me to do tonight. Look, I promise I'll come to your place first thing in the morning. We'll have breakfast together." It won't be the same! I have to ask you tonight!

"Oh, alright." How could I resist that puppy dog look with that pout and those wide opened eyes?

"Great, you're the best." Donna gives me a quick hug and peck on the lips.

I've been moping around the office since Donna left. It's 11pm now. I really should go home considering I've had nothing to do for the past half hour.

I'm in my car on the way home and wondering if this was a sign not to ask Donna to move in with me. She could have had to meet Kimmy any other night and it happened to be tonight? I sure hope this isn't a sign.

Is that music coming from my apartment? Did I leave the stereo on? Well I was in a rush this morning but I doubt I turned on the radio at that time. What's that aroma? What the….There are candle everywhere!! Uncountable candles…..What the heck?!

"I was beginning to think you were not coming home at all." Oh….sweet…lord…..

Have I died and gone to heaven? Donna's standing at my bedroom door frame. She's leaning against it with one hand on her hip and another stretched out on the frame. I cannot believe my eyes!! She's wearing a little red lingerie. It is sheer and has flower laces embroidered on it. Wow…the neck is really low and the sides have high slits on them. I think my heart just stopped. This is how it feels when your heart stops. She's walking towards me. I think I stopped breathing as well. I technically should be dead right now but I'm more alive now than ever. I can see a red thong underneath the top.

Oh I can smell her now. She smells like roses and citrus. I feel everything is happening in slow motion. She's placing her hand on my tie and loosens it.

"Joshua, aren't you going to greet me at all?" She's kissing my neck. No, she's sucking it. Oh….I just manage to let out a moan.

"I expected something more from a 760 verbal scorer." Oh, why does she have to sound so seductive.

"Donna…"

"Yes Josh?" Ah, she's nibbling my ear! How could I possible construct a sentence?

Wait, come back to reality Josh. Is she ready for this? Is she just doing this coz she thinks this is what I want? Is this why she thinks I've been avoiding her?

"Donna, wait." I push her away form me by placing my arms on her shoulders.

"Yeah?" Her look just kills me. She looks so disappointed.

"Are you…are you sure? Do you really want this?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life Josh. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. This is what I want. What about you? Do you what this?" Do I want this? Has she lost every brain cell? Of course I do!!!!!!! I've been waiting for this for god knows how long….And I'm not talking about since we started dating or since I realized my feelings for her. I'm talking about since I first laid eyes on her.

"Are you kidding me?" Her lips break into a smile. Wow…She's the most gorgeous creature I've seen in my entire life. And she's all mine. How in the world did that happen I will never ever know?

"But what about the image…" She places a finger on my lips.

"Don't talk about that. I'll be fine." She's leaning to reach my lips with hers. Ah, I hate to do this but I have to.

"You stop me at anytime if you…….."

"Shh….I said don't talk about it. Now, are you going to listen to me or not?"

"Yes maam."

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"Wow."

"I'll say."

"That was…."

"Explosive."

"Yeah."

"Astounding"

"Yeah."

"Mind-blowing"

"Yeah."

"Breathtaking"

"Uh huh."

"And I thought you were the one who got the 760 verbal."

We've been laying naked in each others arms for a while. Both trying to get back into our normal breathing pattern.

"Donnatella Moss, you have officially made me the luckiest, happiest man in the whole wide world. I'm going to look at every guy from now on and feel pity for them, knowing that I have you and they don't." Ah, that's quiet impressive.

"That's better."

"Donna I've slept with other woman before. Lots of times." Ok, not so impressive anymore.

"Are you going anywhere with this?" He better be.

"I mean I've had sex so many times but I truly believe this is the very first time I've ever made love to anyone. And I'm thrilled it's with you." Aw…..how sweet.

We definitely made love tonight. More than once I must add. Josh took it really slow the first time. That is of course once he got his motor function running again after being initially stunned by my little red number.

He was so loving and tender. Best of all, he definitely tended to my needs which is a first for me. He explored my body as I did his. I can't believe I've been missing this until now.

Not for one second did I get any glimpse of those images. Josh kept looking into my eyes to make sure I was okay. He was so sweet.

"I've got a present for you." He pulls his arms away from me leaving me cold. He puts on his boxers and is heading for his jacket near the door.

"What? A present for me? Why? Did you know this was going to happen?" He couldn't possibly.

"Trust me when I say a big NO to that. I've been waiting to give you this for some time. I decided on tonight. Which is why I was really upset when you said you wanted to have dinner with Kimmy."

"Oh, yeah. I lied about that. Sorry."

"You were very convincing by the way." Josh is holding a silver present box in his hand. It had a gold ribbon on it. It was small and rectangular. He hands it to me.

"Open it." I smile at him with my eyebrows slightly raised. I open it.

"It's a key." A key?

"Yes, it's a key to my apartment." Well, duh…I have a copy of it.

"I already have it Josh. I've had it since before we were dating." Did he forget that or something?

"Come on, follow me." He's dragging my off the bed. Woah, I almost lost my balance there. I wrapped the bed sheet around myself with one hand as he pulls my other.

"Where are we going? The bathroom?" Has he lost his mind?

"Open it." Okay…..This is a first. I've never drove a man to insanity by sleeping with him.

"Just open it, will ya." I do as he tells.

"What in the world?" The bathroom is all redecorated. Flowers and all…It smells so good.

"Go look inside." I walk in to see this whole lot of bath beads, salts, gels. There are unlit candles placed around the bath tub. There are all these fancy soaps, bubble bath and bath oils near the bath tub and next to the sink.  They were arranged in decorative wooden baskets. Why did he get all these stuff?

"Did you get all these? Are you getting in touch with your feminine side? Is this a phase you're going through?" He laughs at me. It's a genuine question. Why is he laughing?

"Donnatella Moss, do I have to spell it out for you? I want you to move in with me. I did this to make you feel more comfortable in my bachelor pad. We could redecorate anything else in this apartment however you want. I want you to live with me. I just can't stand spending another night without you. I don't want you to pay rent for a place you hardly use ever. I want this to be our place."

Oh. That's what this is about. I should have guessed. This place does look amazing. It is silly for me to pay rent in my place like he said.  Like him, I also don't want to spend my nights alone anymore.

"Say something." Aww…look at him all jittery. I can't believe he's so nervous. That's so cute.

"Well, you did go through a whole lot of trouble for this." I tease as I look around the bathroom. I turn back towards him and smile.

"Really?" He starts to grin and I can see his lovely dimples. How could anyone not fall for those dimples?

"Yeah, I'd love to live to you Josh." He grabs me and kisses me soundly on the lips.

"I love you so much, Donnatella. I know I'm a difficult guy and I can be rather unbearable sometimes. So living with me ain't going to be easy task but I promise I'll give you as much space as you need, whenever you need it."

"Don't worry Josh, if I couldn't handle you I would have quit my job years ago. I didn't. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I love you and your unbearable self."

TBC……want to see Donna's red number? Go to :

However, you need to sign into Yahoo and the join the JoshDonnaFF  Yahoo group. It wouldn't take long. If you're having any problems, e-mail me and I'll send you the photo if you want. Also, just look at the photo titled "Donna's red lingerie"….Don't bother to look at the other photos now. You need to read the next parts of this story before looking at them. I'll let you know.