Many thanks to Angels, as I've told you many times…. You are truly an angel for putting up with me…. and thanks more then words can express for fixing this up… once again a marvellous job…

Give them a chance there not useless yet

Don't take them away, I'll need them yet

For in order to walk, my legs play a role

So make the right choice to help me reach my goal

CHAPTER 2

"Beep, beep, beep." Went the heart monitor as Usagi regained consciousness with groan.

 'Where am I?' She wondered, looking around the white room that smelled of disinfectant. It was filled with strange, scary looking equipment.
Slowly she tried to sit up, but found that she couldn't seem to make her body espond the way she wanted it too.
Footsteps sounded, and she turned her head towards the noise "Shingo?" she questioned, looking at her brother. "Where am I?"

"OKAASAN! She's awake!" Shingo yelled as he plopped down in the chair beside the bed.
"How are you feeling?" He asked her.
"Ergh… not too good." Usagi responded ruefully as her mother dashed in.
"Usagi-chan! Thank goodness!!" Her mother exclaimed, rushing to the bedside to give her a kiss.
"Okaasan! Where am I?" She questioned, looking around her. Then she looked down at her arm, which seemed to be stuck full of needles.
"Usagi, are you okay? Do you hurt? Do you want me to call a nurse?" Her mother asked her, seeming to avoid Usagi's question.
"No, I don't hurt and yes, I'm okay." replied Usagi
"Okay....Well, if you do hurt, just push this little red button and a nurse will come. Okay, honey?"
"Yes mom. Where am I?" Usagi asked again, hoping to get an answer.
"Usa, do you remember what happened?" Questioned her mother, trying to avoid the question for now.
Usagi concentrated hard, trying to remember what possibly could have happened to get her mother so worried.
"No. Please, no." She breathed as the memory of the accident came to her. Everything flashed through on fast-forward....the party, Seiya, truck… the accident… everything.
Usagi tried hard to remain strong; she didn't want to worry her mother even more, but she couldn't help it. Slowly, the tears just seemed to leak out, no matter how hard she tried to hold them back.
"Shhh. Usa, it's okay…" Soothed her mother, placing her arms gently about her daughter.
"Okaasan, what happened to me? How...how long has it been…?" Usagi asked, as the paramedics final words sifted into her brain… "So young… it really is a pity…"
"Shh Usa… shh… you're fine. Usagi...nothing...too bad happened, it's just that..." Began her mother, then turning to Shingo. "Shingo…. could you, if you don't mind...?" Shingo took the hint and left, closing the door softly behind him.
"Oh Mama...it's my legs, isn't it? I....I can't move them at all…… and they don't hurt or anything"
"Yes, Usa...Your legs, they're hurt badly…but it's nothing physiotherapy can't fix. We'll have you back on your feet in no time."
"Back on my feet?" Usagi exclaimed, disbelieving. "There's nothing WRONG with my legs!!" She insisted, pushing her mother away. "I could walk now if I wanted too!!"
A water smile graced her mothers face, but she didn't dare tell her daughter otherwise. The doctors' had warned her that Usagi may react similarly at first, and that she shouldn't push her.
"Mama, where's dad?" Usagi asked, yearning to see him.
"Right outside. I'll go get him." Ikuko replied, passing her hand over Usagi's head as she stood to retrieve Kenji.

Grateful, Usagi slumped back onto the cushions, desperately pushing away all thoughts of her accident. By the time her dad entered, she was fast asleep.

The next few weeks were hard on the Tuskino family, for another infection had crept up on Usa, and none of them were prepared for it.
Usagi was delirious, thrashing about in her sleep and crying out, "NO! NO!! Don't let me die…"
She battled hard against the infection, undergoing more operations until the infection only remained in her legs. Her parents now faced one of the hardest choices they would ever have to make: whether or not to give consent for the amputation of Usagi's legs.

The doctors were divided; some said that she could keep her legs, that eventually she'd be able to walk again. Others, however, maintained the opinion that Usagi's legs should be amputated, that not only would she never walk again, but the infection would, in the end, kill her. Ikuko was torn: on one hand, she may choose amputation, and Usagi would never be able to walk again. However, if she chose to let Usagi keep her legs, there was the chance that she may die. After many hours of praying and debating, Usagi was allowed to keep her legs.

The battle against the infection carried on, even after the operation. It wasn't looking too good for Usagi, but when it seemed as if she had given up, a single cry escaped her lips, startling the nurse who had come to give her some medication.
"Wait!! Wait for me!" She screamed, her voice loud, insistent. Then her eyes opened wide, before slamming shut…

It was two days before Usagi regained total consciousness, or at least as conscious as you can get through a fog of painkillers.
Her luminous blue orbs opened once again, to the sight of her father resting peacefully in the chair at her bedside, which was now covered with many cards, ballons, and flowers.
"Obassan?" Her soft voice questioned.
"Usagi?" He whispered, turning to face her, a huge smile of relief on his face "Usagi, it's so good to see you awake!!"
"Oba, what are you talking about? I must have just drifted off for a nap."
"Usagi, it's been a week… since then." He gently corrected her.
"A week??"
Her father nodded in reply.
"Oh…" she mouthed. "What happened to me…?"
"You got an infection, and it took you a week to battle it off…"
"Then it really was a dream…" Usagi muttered to herself before asking,
"Oba-san… where are all my friends? Why haven't they been to see me?"
"Usa..you're in the ICU"
"ICU? Why?" she questioned thinking…. 'I can't be.. that's where really sick people go…deathly sick people..' she thought
"I'm NOT GOING TO DIE!" she stated fiercely…
Her father smiled at her then said, "That's the spirit… I always knew you were a fighter…"
"Obassan, is there anything to drink? I'm thirsty." Asked Usagi, watching as her father stood up and handed her a glass of water.
"Arigatou"
"Stay put… I'm going to get your mother." Stated her father as he handed her the glass.
"Hai.."
But it was not her mother whom entered the door a few moments later, it was a doctor.
"Tuskino-san..?"
"Who are you?" Usagi demanded
"I'm Dr. Lawrence, and I just wanted to let you know that you are one lucky little lady."
'Huh?' She thought, 'What's he talking about?'
"Usagi.. you are very lucky that your parents decided against amputation because my colleagues and I think that you have a very good chance of being able to walk again."
'Walk again? Amputaion?' Usagi thought 'Must be someone else, you're fine, there's nothing wrong with you. You have two arms, two legs… everything is here. It's not you...' Out loud she said, "What do you mean by that? I already know how to walk!"
"Yes...well..you're going to have to go for some rehab. And I have suggested that your parents place you at Cherry Hollow Rehabilitation Center, to give you the chance to walk again."
"Excuse me, sir, but I believe you have the wrong person! My legs are fine, I am fine!! I know how to walk and I don't need to go to any rehabilitation center!" Usagi stated, her voice rising to a shout.

"GET OUT!" she yelled at him, pointing to the door. "LEAVE ME ALONE! I AM FINE!"
The doctor obeyed her wishes… giving her a pitying glance as he was about to leave. "You can't walk right now, Usagi. Your legs are too weak…"
Defiantly Usagi glared back at him…

"I can too walk!" She told herself, then very carefully tried to lift a leg, to swing it over the side of the bed.
Her leg didn't budge. 'Oh my god!.... I can't move it!' She thought, worried that perhaps the doctor was right. 'It's okay, it's probably nothing. You're just tired.' She told herself, and then leaned back against the pillows to doze until her mother arrived.

Two days later Usagi was moved out of the ICU and to another floor. Her new room was bright and sunny, and painted a pale yellow.
She was excited, her friends had phoned the night before and had promised to come and visit her. She could hardly wait to see everyone, especially Seiya, having decided that the party that night had been a mistake, and that he must have been drunk, or high.
Her friends entered the room around 11:00am to find Usagi still asleep…
Seiya, who had come along against Rei's wishes, leaned over and gave Usagi a kiss on the forehead. Groggily Usagi opened her eyes.
"Hello, Odango." Whispered Seiya, looking at his girlfriend lying pale and helpless on the bed.
"Seiya, Rei, Mina, AMI!" squealed Usagi, excited to see them.
"How are you doing?" Mina asked
"Not too bad." She replied, watching the way her friends moved about the room.
"Great!" Said Seiya…
"So, what's been happening?" Demanded Usagi, and she listened patiently as her friends brought her up to date on all the local gossip, leaving out everything that had to do with Seiya and Janice. Deciding that their friend was in enough pain, and didn't need to learn about them just yet, they put it off for now. By the time that they had finished it was near lunch time.
"Usagi, how would you feel about some pizza?" asked Minako, her stomach rumbling audibly.
"Pizza! That sounds great!" squealed Usagi, relieved at the idea of eating something other than purple "fake" grape flavoured jello.
"Okay! I'll go get some!"
"I'll come help" said Ami, following Minako out of the room leaving Usagi and Rei together.
"So, how are you feeling?" asked Rei, walking to the window.
"Well...everyone here says I can't walk, but that's silly. And they want me to go to a rehab center." Usagi began.
"Usa-chan...I know it's hard.." Began Rei.. thinking back to when she broke her leg and had to hobble around for a month, "But…What they're saying is probably true."
"No, it's not Hino Rei! Get that thought out of your head!" Stated Usagi. "I'm fine, there's nothing wrong!"
"Usagi, come on! Face the facts! Your legs, you can't feel them.. and have you tried to move them?" stated Rei, impatient with her friends inabilitly to face the light of reason.
"Yes, I have, and..and.." Sputtered Usagi. Then she suddenly broke into tears. "Rei, I don't..I can't.."
"Usagi-chan..." whispered Rei, giving her friend a hug. "Everything will be fine…."

Later that evening…
"Mom, what do they look like?" asked Usagi… thinking of how her legs used to look, long, muscular… stretching out in front of her from beneath a short skirt as she sat on the grass.
"Um...They're fine Usagi, just a lot thinner then they used to be." Stated Usagi's mom, telling her daughter a half truth.
"Really?" asked Usagi hopefully. "I want to see them."
"Honey, I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Mom, I have to see them before I go to rehab. I want to know what it is I have to live with."
Just then the doctor entered on his routine check.
"How are you feeling Usagi?" He asked her.
"Fine. But, I want to see my legs"
"Um, I don't think that's a good idea…" stated the Doctor.
"Why not? They're my legs, and I want to see." She turned to her mother.

"If there really isn't anything too different about them, then why won't you let me see them? You said that the only change was that they were a little skinnier."
Seeing the determined look in her eyes, the doctor sent a helpless look at Mrs. Tuskino. When she just shrugged, the doctor sighed…
"Let me go and get some help. I'll be right back."

"Are you sure about this, Usa?" asked her mother.
"Yes, mom. I have to know."

The two doctors returned five minutes later with a bag of clean bandages.
"You still sure you want to do this?" Questioned Dr. Lawrence
"Hai!" she replied, and sat up ready to look and see what her legs looked like.
The two doctors worked carefully to remove the bandages, hands gentle as they lifted and lowered her legs to release them from their white shrouds. Yards and yards of the stuff seemed to come off, and her legs got thinner and thinner; then, on the count of three, the doctors removed the last constricting layers.

Taking a deep breath, Usagi looked down at her legs.
They were white, so white. Thin and scrawny, with red "zipper marks" stretching up them.
They were hideous, and Usagi blanched just looking at them. Tears sprouted from her eyes as she choked out,
"Cover them…"
The doctors worked quickly, but before they were through Usagi had lost all hope of ever being able to stand on her own again.

The next day her friends visited, and she loathed them. She hated them because they had the use of their legs, and they just took it for granted.
Every sun-browned, strong limb mocked her and drove her further into depression. Her thought turned to ways of escape, for there was no way that she, Tuskino Usagi, was ever going to live in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

That night after everyone had left, the nurse came to give Usagi her nightly dosage of painkiller. Carefully Usagi placed the pill in her mouth, and made a huge show out of swallowing it, when really she had hidden it under her tongue.
As the nurse turned around to leave, Usagi took the pill out of her mouth and wrapped it in a tissue.
"One down," she said as she closed the top drawer of her nightstand.

"But I wonder how many I need to go?"

Hi angels….

Two days later…

Usagi awoke early after a long and restless night…

"should I tell him?" she asked herself thinking of her legs…

"or shouldn't i?" Usagi sighed…. She just couldn't make up her mind…

"well he loves me... and he has a right to know!" she thought…. 

later that day… when her friends came to visit… she was careful to be the only one to reach into the drawer…. Not wanting her friends to discouver her pitiful stash of painkillers… and when everyone was about to leave….she asked seiya to remain behind…

"Seiya… there's something I … I need to talk to you about" Usagi stated looking up at him with her big blue orbs…

"ok, catch you guys later…." He said…. Waving everyone else out the door….and moving to sit in the chair beside her bed.

"Seiya…. i.. I need to tell you about me legs….." Usagi began

"what about them?" he questioned… guilt welling up inside of him like water from a spring…. 'These visits were so hard…' he thought… for he knew he was partially to blame for Usagi's condition..

"well…. Sieya…. They…. They look different…"

"yeah…. They're just thinner and stuff.. I know… but physio is going to change that"

"seiya…" stated Usagi… smiling at his hopeful tone… "they are worse…" and began describing exactly what they looked like… while trying not to make them sound too gruesome.

When she was done…. Sieya stared at her in disbelief…. His thoughts running to Janice…. And her perfect legs, eyes, figure smile….. and taking a deep breath soothed,

"is ok.. Odango… you'll be fine. Your legs will heal..and everything will be perfect…"

"but… but… what if they aren't?" Usagi asked…

"they will be!" he stated with assurance.. then "don't worry Odango… you'll be good as new…" and leaned over to give her a long… soft kiss…

breaking it off…. Seiya turned flashing her a querky grin, and left the room… "see ya round Odango"

"bye seiya…." She called after him…. Knowing… that things between them could never, and would never be the same… for in her heart of hearts, she blamed Seiya for what had happened to her… and somehow she knew…that their relationship…was no longer on the same level hat it had been before the party.

Usagi spent the rest of the afternoon, sitting in bed reading Manga, and watching old TV shows and soaps..    before finally drifting off to sleep for a few hours…

That night…. When the nurse came to give Usagi her nightly dosage of painkillers Usagi questioned,

"I can't die from these things can i?"

the startled nurse stared at her unbelieving…

"that's not what I meant… its just that I've seem to be taking so many…"

"oh…. Well you have nothing to worry about.. it would take quite a few of these to kill a person…"

"ok… " replied Usagi… once again pretending to swallow the pill…

after the nurse left…. usagi spent a lot of time lost in thought…toying with the idea of taking the pills….. but in the end decided against it.. knowing that they would still be there….

waiting..

Two weeks later… 

"hello Usagi-Chan!" stated Rei wondering what type of mood her friend would be in today…  over the past couple of weeks Usagi had become more and more irritable, restless, and a lot less fun to visit… she watched people move with envy and desire written clearly on her face. Everything that used to be important to her now seemed not to matter, and Rei was really beginning to wonder why.

Ami and Minako had also noticed the change, the way Usagi no longer seemed excited about little things, such as Pizza, and sunsets. Her thoughts had instead turned more morbid causing them to worry, for Usagi had always been full of life, and everyone had always thought she would be able to hold out.. and remain strong  no matter what the circumstance.

"hi Rei" said Usagi watching as dark haired friend walked towards the window, with her long tanned legs clearly showing from beneath a short red skirt.

"so how you been?" questioned Ami…

"oh…. Not too bad, just wasting away getting paler and pastyier.. pretty soon I think even bleached sheets will have some competition for being whiter.."

Minako strangled a laugh..  and said… "well…you'll be leaving for that cherry tree place tomorrow…. And soon you'll be back on your feet and out in the sun.."

"yeah…. If I can actually walk on these things" stated  Usagi..

changing the subject Ami said "Seiya said to tell you he'd be by around 12:00"

"really?" asked Usagi perking up a bit "I can't wait!"

The girls sighed…. This was a clear indicator that Usagi.. was feeling ok…

"well…. Why don't I get us something to drink?" stated Minako.. " I don't know about you but I'm parched!"

ami laughed and left with her….

Coming away from the window Rei sat on the edge of the bed… trying to think what would be the best way to explain why seiya was coming…

Seeing Rei's expression darken Usagi cringed inwardly wondering what had happened…. And when Rei's fiery eyes focused on Usagi she said…

"Usa.. there is something you have to know… before Seiya comes…. He wanted me to tell you…"

"what?" asked Usagi

"well….. there's no easy way to put this……. But…. Seiya is seeing Janice…."

"dating her?" asked Usagi… her voice devoid of emotion..

"yes….. Dating…. They were seeing eachother even before the incident…"

"that WHORE!"

"well you know Janice… she's loved seiya for a long time…. And well…. When he looked interested she invited him…"

"that bastard!" Usagi muttered under her breath.. "I can't believe him.."

"well… he'll be here any moment…. So don't do anything rash… although… I wouldn't blame you if you killed him…"

"Rei!" Usagi exclaimed with a laugh… watching her friend exit… and Seiya enter soon after…

"hey Odango" he greeted her…. A box of chocolates in hand… and cheerful smile on his face..

"hi seiya… what did you want to talk to me about?"

"well.. Usagi…this is not because of your legs or anything… I was going do this anyways…. But…"

"just say it seiya….. Rei warned me…"

"she did?"

"yeah…. "

"oh…. Well…. Then I guess you know… that I'm interested in Janice….and well we're going out now… "

"sure….. Seiya….and you were cheating on me with her before…" stated Usagi bitterly….

Seiya said nothing just sat there looking extremely guilty…

"GET OUT" stated Usagi…. "I don't want to see you.." she finished in a strangled tone….

"Usagi….. I'll always care about you….. you really…"

"shut up!" Usagi raged… "just get he hell out of here!"

then Rei appeared at the door…..glaring at him… "you heard her…. GET OUT!"

seiya didn't need to be told again… and with Rei's disapproving eyes on him… slowly left the room…

'that's it…' Usagi thought to herself  'tonight… I go…with what I have… it should be enough…'

as Rei re-entered the room and walked to the window… Usagi thought…

'besides…. I'll never be able to walk again.. I'm useless and wheel chair bound… I might as well go now…. Before I go to cherry tree…'

"Usagi?" questioned Rei…. Her eyes focusing on the tears streaming from her friends eyes…… "are you ok?"

Usagi….still deep in thought ignored… her friend… then realising Rei had asked her something smiled,

"could you brush my hair?"

"sure…." Stated Rei… reaching into the drawer feeling around for Usagi's brush…

for a moment… Usagi sat tense… wondering if her friends questioning hand would find the crumpled piece of Kleenex stuffed into the back corner..

"PIZZA!" yelled shingo… startling Rei… and as she jumped in shock….the drawer of the dresser fell out to the floor…. Scattering its contents everywhere….with the pills fortunately landing within their tissue still hidden

"shingo!" exclaimed Usagi… closely watching Rei replace the contents of the drawer and sighed… as she picked up the tissue by the corners..

"hey, sis…" shingo said moving towards the bed with the pizza box in his arms… then tripping over a loose shoelace he fell bumping into Rei.. causing her to drop the tissue…. Which opened like a flower revealing the stash of rose coloured pills within….

Rei's dark eyes flew open in surprise….as they met Usagi's…… then biting back a comment she quickly pulled back up the corners of the tissue and turned to shingo… struggling to contain her disgust… she marched to the bathroom calling after herself….

"shingo…. Could you go and get us a couple of sodas from the lobby?" she asked

"sure…" he replied running back out of the room….

After he left the sound of a toilet flushing came from the bathroom and Rei soon emerged shaking with rage, and turned her full attention on her blonde friend…

"WHAT, were those??"

"um…. Painkillers" Usagi stated calmly…

"and What were they doing in you drawer… you weren't actually planning … taking them were you?"

"what if I was?" Usagi shot back….

"Usagi! Come on….. you are going to get better…."

"that's what everyone always says….. you'll get better… but what do you know…." Usagi demanded tears beginning to form in her eyes…as she tried to explain,

 "you have two good strong legs….. and no idea what I'm going through….. what if your wrong? What if I can't walk…. "

"maybe I don't know what your going through…. But I was here… I heard your mom… do you know she cried… non stop, and prayed for hours, you weren't there…. you didn't have to listen to her crying " God, please don't take my baby" My GOD usa.. we've been friends for ages….and this is one thing I never thought I'd live to see you do…. really suicide?"

"Rei…. Please…. I can't live in a wheel chair forever…" 

"Usagi…. You aren't going to…. "

"please Rei… I probably never would have taken them… but I needed the option. I needed to have the choice… to know that I wasn't totally hopeless….."

"that is the most selfish thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth!" Rei stated..

"well…. You think that terminally ill patients have the right to end their own lives…"

"Usagi… your not terminally ill….. you are strong, and healthy…. Your legs will get better!" said Rei.  Opening her skirt to reveal the pills…

"Rei.?" Questioned Usagi….

"you are right…. You have can decide if you want to kill yourself or not… but if you do… I'll never forgive you…. For the pain that you'll cause your mom, and ami, Minako…. Everyone….. and me… Usagi…. Your almost like a sister…." Stated Rei…. Tears threatening to spill from her own eyes……as she looked into the innocent tear-filled orbs of her friend…

"Rei-Chan…. i…. I don't think I could have done it anyways…."

Rei smiled wriley….. "well…. Promise me that when put these back… you won't take them until you've given cherry tree, and phsyio a try"

"Rei…." Stated Usagi.. "I hate a coward to you know…. " and smiled watery at her friend.

Rei smiled largely then…. And gave Usagi a hug…. Before rushing to flush the pills as Shingo came back into the room followed by Ami and Minako…

"so… what did we miss?" Mina-Chan asked…

Rei and Usagi… just looked at each-other… before Usagi said, "I'll miss you guys so much…..when I go to Cherry tree tomorrow…"

"aw…. Usagi… we'll visit you…" promised Ami…

"I know.." stated Usagi… catching their eyes….

Usagi's friends  were not coming the following day, for Usagi was moving out to Cherry Hill.

Early that moring around 9:00am….. Usagi's parents arrived, to help her pack all her things, and sign the discharge papers…..

By 9:30 Usagi was on her way…. Out her father wheeling her along. As she passed many of the hospital staff waved good-bye… and wished her the best on her road to recovery

Down the elevator….. and out the door…. Went Usagi….enduring the stares of curious people….as she went by….

Finally they reached the car….and everything seemed to be going well…

As the car began to move, an eerie feeling overcame Usagi…

FLASH!! Car skidding on the wet road, headlights….in the wind shield…. Usagi's breathing accelerated….. she was confined….

"STOP!" she yelled panic setting in….. "I have to ….. Let me out!!"

"but…. We just started…." Claimed her dad…

"Let me out…." Usagi responded frantically pounding at the window….

"shh… shh…. Usagi… its ok…. Your fine.. I have something for you.." stated her mother…  as her father pulled the car over…

"I should have given this to you before…" said Usagi's mother handing her a pill and a bottle of water….. "it will help" she soothed…. As Usagi swallowed the pill.

Soon the tranquillezer did its job…..and Usagi felt herself slip into an uncaring calm daze…. As sleep overcame her…..

When Usagi' awoke… she was greeted with the site of large black and white sign with pink cherry blossoms on the corner reading,

"welcome to cherry hill, recuperation center"

'as if they needed a sign…' Usagi thought… looking out the window….and the large expanse of green dotted with people manoeuvring wheel chairs….. down over wide paths….that all led up to a large white building…. Surrounded by blossoming pink cherry trees…..

"were here…." Stated Usagi's mother…. As the car pulled up in front of the large double doors…..

"well… here I go… no turning back now….."Usagi stated… as her father wheeled her through the doors and into the large lobby….

"hi!" said a young voice and as Usagi turned her head towards the sound she was greeted by the sight of……