Chapter Eleven: From a Cat's Perspective
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter anything. I don't own Dragon Lance anything, although I still want Raistlin. I also don't own sweetmeats, you'll see. Nor do I own the song Bother by Corey Taylor/Stone Sour. I am not being paid to type this, and can't think of anything witty to add to make this disclaimer funny like all my others. So here you go chapter eleven.
"Good girl, Mrs. Norris. Yes, my pet, time to catch some miscreant students." Why must he always go on like this before letting me out of this prison cell? Mrs. Norris pondered; her large yellow eyes on the doorknob. Filch's hand closed over the bright knob. A twist, a pull, and Norris was out. She darted around a corner in the hall and sat down to clean herself. Finally, she mused. It is about time he let me out. I almost-She looked up. Well I wonder what that noise is. Tail held high, the cat wandered through the corridors until she ended up outside Snape's daughter, Talon's, room. Mrs. Norris sat down and cocked her head to one side. It had to be the most bizarre noises, or more set of noises, she had ever heard. Words penetrated between things that sounded like giants dancing on wood floors and the intelligible speech of Pixies. "Wish I was too dead to cry as self affliction fades. Stones to throw at my creator; Masochist to which I cater. You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. Wish I was too dead to care, If indeed I cared at all. Never had a voice to protest, So you fed me shit to digest. I wish I had a reason my flaws are open season. For this I gave up trying. One good time deserves my dying. You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. Wish I'd died instead of lived. A zombie hides my face. Shelf forgotten with it's memories; Diaries left with cryptic entries. And you don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. You don't need to bother. I don't need to be, yeah. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, once I hold on, I'll never live down my disease." One last droning and it ended only to be quickly replaced by new morbid lyrics to the beat of different giants' steps and new Pixy conversation. Deciding she would rather cough up a fur-ball than listen to more of this, Mrs. Norris wandered by Severus' room door. Cocking her ear to the entryway, she heard muffled moans and strips of conversation. Why can't humans stick to those of the opposite sex? You would never catch me with a female. Continuing on, she came across a peculiar smell. It smelt like two boys. The scent was receding slowly down the hall toward the Gryffindor common room. Must be those two again. At it every night, that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. She walked on until she found Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall talking in hushed tones. "I know, Minerva, but we cannot take any chances that Voldemort won't attack. If he does, we must be prepared." McGonagall sighed. "You're right, Albus, but does that truly merit sending him back to them? You of all people know how Severus suffered and suffers still because of it." "I know and that is precisely why I am not sending him back. I am sending someone else." "Who, Albus?" "All will be revealed in good time, my dear. Now you had best return to bed." Mrs. Norris observed McGonagall shoot an almost disbelieving glance as she left.
Now that she was gone, the headmaster noticed the cat. About time. She could smell treats on his person, and he was always kind enough to give her a few. "Ah, Mrs. Norris." Mumbled Dumbledore as he carefully picked her up. "It is a reassurance to see that you still patrol our school." Happiness thrilled over her as he scratched her ears and chin. Now he knows how to take care of a cat. She grinned to herself as Albus reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a sweetmeat for her. "There you go now. A reward for watching over all that happens with me." Mrs. Norris quickly ate most of the sweetmeat, but held up the last bite or two for Dumbledore. He chuckled. "A reward to me for watching the school with you, is it now?" He was amused, as she seemed to meow in agreement. Then, so as not to be rude, Dumbledore took the sweetmeat piece and ate it. "Delicious." He smiled. As he put Mrs. Norris down, another sweetmeat appeared. This one was broken in half. With a final scratch on the head, he left her to her half and walked back to his office, enjoying his own half. It didn't go unnoticed that Mrs. Norris' half was by far the bigger. Good man. Mused the cat as she carried her treat behind a pillar to enjoy in peace. He really doesn't get enough praise of his work, but he is a good man, none the less. As she licked clean her paws, she heard three pairs of footsteps. One pair coming from behind her. The other two pairs coming from in front. Soon Rekka had come into view above the cat's tail. So another student out of bed tonight. Mrs. Norris flicked her tail in amusement. Soon the blonde haired Gryffindor would be accosted by the two footsteps coming in the opposite direction. Accosted turned out to be, although very true, too light a word. More appropriate words that crossed the cat's sickened mind included: raped, glomped, shnoggled, felt up, enticed, etc. and all this was returned by her onto the Weasley twins whom had 'accosted' her. Right in the middle of the hall! Mrs. Norris thought she was going to be sick, and darted out of there double quick. She then proceeded to be very sick inside one of Filch's buckets. Still very woozy and a little dizzy, Mrs. Norris decided she would be safer to return to her own warm bed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter anything. I don't own Dragon Lance anything, although I still want Raistlin. I also don't own sweetmeats, you'll see. Nor do I own the song Bother by Corey Taylor/Stone Sour. I am not being paid to type this, and can't think of anything witty to add to make this disclaimer funny like all my others. So here you go chapter eleven.
"Good girl, Mrs. Norris. Yes, my pet, time to catch some miscreant students." Why must he always go on like this before letting me out of this prison cell? Mrs. Norris pondered; her large yellow eyes on the doorknob. Filch's hand closed over the bright knob. A twist, a pull, and Norris was out. She darted around a corner in the hall and sat down to clean herself. Finally, she mused. It is about time he let me out. I almost-She looked up. Well I wonder what that noise is. Tail held high, the cat wandered through the corridors until she ended up outside Snape's daughter, Talon's, room. Mrs. Norris sat down and cocked her head to one side. It had to be the most bizarre noises, or more set of noises, she had ever heard. Words penetrated between things that sounded like giants dancing on wood floors and the intelligible speech of Pixies. "Wish I was too dead to cry as self affliction fades. Stones to throw at my creator; Masochist to which I cater. You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. Wish I was too dead to care, If indeed I cared at all. Never had a voice to protest, So you fed me shit to digest. I wish I had a reason my flaws are open season. For this I gave up trying. One good time deserves my dying. You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. Wish I'd died instead of lived. A zombie hides my face. Shelf forgotten with it's memories; Diaries left with cryptic entries. And you don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. You don't need to bother. I don't need to be, yeah. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, once I hold on, I'll never live down my disease." One last droning and it ended only to be quickly replaced by new morbid lyrics to the beat of different giants' steps and new Pixy conversation. Deciding she would rather cough up a fur-ball than listen to more of this, Mrs. Norris wandered by Severus' room door. Cocking her ear to the entryway, she heard muffled moans and strips of conversation. Why can't humans stick to those of the opposite sex? You would never catch me with a female. Continuing on, she came across a peculiar smell. It smelt like two boys. The scent was receding slowly down the hall toward the Gryffindor common room. Must be those two again. At it every night, that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. She walked on until she found Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall talking in hushed tones. "I know, Minerva, but we cannot take any chances that Voldemort won't attack. If he does, we must be prepared." McGonagall sighed. "You're right, Albus, but does that truly merit sending him back to them? You of all people know how Severus suffered and suffers still because of it." "I know and that is precisely why I am not sending him back. I am sending someone else." "Who, Albus?" "All will be revealed in good time, my dear. Now you had best return to bed." Mrs. Norris observed McGonagall shoot an almost disbelieving glance as she left.
Now that she was gone, the headmaster noticed the cat. About time. She could smell treats on his person, and he was always kind enough to give her a few. "Ah, Mrs. Norris." Mumbled Dumbledore as he carefully picked her up. "It is a reassurance to see that you still patrol our school." Happiness thrilled over her as he scratched her ears and chin. Now he knows how to take care of a cat. She grinned to herself as Albus reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a sweetmeat for her. "There you go now. A reward for watching over all that happens with me." Mrs. Norris quickly ate most of the sweetmeat, but held up the last bite or two for Dumbledore. He chuckled. "A reward to me for watching the school with you, is it now?" He was amused, as she seemed to meow in agreement. Then, so as not to be rude, Dumbledore took the sweetmeat piece and ate it. "Delicious." He smiled. As he put Mrs. Norris down, another sweetmeat appeared. This one was broken in half. With a final scratch on the head, he left her to her half and walked back to his office, enjoying his own half. It didn't go unnoticed that Mrs. Norris' half was by far the bigger. Good man. Mused the cat as she carried her treat behind a pillar to enjoy in peace. He really doesn't get enough praise of his work, but he is a good man, none the less. As she licked clean her paws, she heard three pairs of footsteps. One pair coming from behind her. The other two pairs coming from in front. Soon Rekka had come into view above the cat's tail. So another student out of bed tonight. Mrs. Norris flicked her tail in amusement. Soon the blonde haired Gryffindor would be accosted by the two footsteps coming in the opposite direction. Accosted turned out to be, although very true, too light a word. More appropriate words that crossed the cat's sickened mind included: raped, glomped, shnoggled, felt up, enticed, etc. and all this was returned by her onto the Weasley twins whom had 'accosted' her. Right in the middle of the hall! Mrs. Norris thought she was going to be sick, and darted out of there double quick. She then proceeded to be very sick inside one of Filch's buckets. Still very woozy and a little dizzy, Mrs. Norris decided she would be safer to return to her own warm bed.
