Chapter Twelve: Break Ups and Distractions.

Disclaimer: Yet again, I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own Dragon Lance. I wish I owned Raistlin. Raven and Rekka come from the twisted inspirations of my two friends from school. Talon also comes from the twisted inspirations of a friend from school, and yes, she really does go by a boy's nickname. I don't own Star Bucks coffee shops, and make reference to them indiscriminately. So if you don't like it, don't read it cause you suck.

Raven stood in the middle of the hall. Most students were at breakfast, but she had something to do before classes started today. It was a week until Christmas break began. She and the wall had been going out for coffee on a regular basis, but now she wanted to go out with Ron and Hermione, both had offered, and she wanted to accept. So she felt she had to break it off with the wall. Sadly, she tapped Wall on the proverbial 'shoulder'. "Hi." she replied to its cheerful greeting. "Yes, well I suppose something is a bit wrong."-"Well, no. School is going well. Rekka helps me out a lot, but it isn't that."-She sighed. "Well, I have to call it off."-"Yes, coffee tomorrow, but that isn't all."-"Yes, I am."-"Please don't be like that." Students were beginning to wander through the halls to their first classes. As they passed the strange transfer student, they students couldn't help but stare as she began to yell. "I said, don't be like that!"-The stares increased. "I really do still like you, but I like these two more. So just stop it!"-"No, I won't. "Raven, stop it." Rekka was standing beside her 'friend' now. "Look Wall. I will not go out with you anymore."-"No and stop begging me like that" "Raven." "I can't really even hug you let alone do that." "Raven. that is disgusting." The stares began to change to looks of terror. Raven kept yelling louder and louder. "I won't have sex with you, Wall! I won't! It won't save our relationship." "Raven, shut up. We're gonna be late for Potions." Rekka was getting angry as the looks of terror merely increased. "I won't. I won't. I won't." Raven continued to scream as Rekka finally got fed up and bodily dragged her through the halls to Potions class. As Raven was dragged off kicking and screaming, two of her fellow Ravenclaws began to discuss this odd turn of events in their school. The sixth year boy turned to his seventh year female companion. "You can't have sex with a flat wall." She turned to him. "Well, she has been taking it out for coffee." She muttered. "Walls are cold though and hard. Stone hard." She merely laughed quietly. "Cold plus Hard equals don't have sex." He returned. This time she laughed harder. "That is an excerpt from my rules to live by." He stated proudly. "Well, it wanted sex with her, not her with it." The girl countered. "Why can't more walls be like that?" The boy sighed. "And I still can't figure out how you would do that." "It is easy for you. Find a chink in the wall big enough." She pointed out. He moaned. "Friction, skin scraped off, ouch." She laughed uproariously at this comment from him. "Just lubricate the wall." She snickered when she could breath again. "True." Came the thoughtful reply. "I still think humping a wall would suck. Walls were up there on my 'Do Not Hump' list." She giggled in response, but he continued on, undaunted. "They were next to anything sharp." After careful deliberation he added, "and plants." Snape stood at the head of his classroom. All his classes were starting to go to hell. Talon would constantly blare music throughout his classes and people chatted in the undertones of the deafening sounds. Very few students still paid attention to their lessons so homework increased in length and difficulty. But the fifth year Gryffindor Slytherin class was the worst of the lot. The tensions between Draco and Harry's groups could literally be felt in the air. Harry and Draco tried time and time again to start fights during his class, and those two transfer students constantly talked. "WohWah." Severus looked up from the potions the students were brewing. "WohWAHwohwohwah!" There it was again from the back of the classroom. The transfer students. He determined. Suddenly, he swooped magnificent upon them like a huge, black, bat-winged angel of death. His rage was so potent as to turn curdled, sour goat's milk to fresh cow's milk with but an instant of exposure. "What do you think you're doing?" He hissed through clenched teeth. Rekka went on with her self-to-self conversation with herself as if she hadn't noticed. "WahwohWOHwahwahWAHwohwahwoh." Meanwhile, Raven stared up at the horrific apparition that was her Potions professor in blank, expressionless, wide-eyed wonder. "Wow! You mean you talk to walls too?" Severus gapped at the two girls like a fish out of water. "Not only talk to them, but you have sex with them too? Interesting, maybe you could help me with this problem I have. See this wall wants." "WohWAHwahhwohWOHwah." Added Rekka. Snape turned from the two of them in hopeless exhaustion. He didn't get paid enough to deal with this! As he reached his desk again, he was seriously beginning to consider retirement despite his rather young age. Class ended much to his gratitude shortly after this fiasco, and Severus sank into his chair with relief as the last students left his classroom. Raven and Rekka walked down the hall toward lunch. As they looked up, they saw an advertisement hanging on the wall. "What does it say, Raven?" Rekka asked. "Nu uh! The answer is still no! Silly ploys like that will get you nowhere!" She screeched and stomped off. Rekka took one look at it and followed, laughing herself to tears. As the two walked off, the two Ravenclaws from earlier wandered over to the paper. "Wow! I thought that was against the law." Commented the boy. The girl laughed. "Where is this church that performs polygamous, same sex, person/plant, person/animal, and person/inanimate object marriages?" His companion snickered. "Why? Do you want to go?" She inquired. He turned to her and grinned evilly. "I want to go there and see if they will have a wedding." "Oh?" "Yes, with an animal that won't stay still. Like some sort of hyper-active bird." She doubled over laughing as he wrote down the address on a piece of paper and hid this in his robes.