Disclaimer: The song is "Fallin" by Alicia Keys

Chpter 2


It was late, already past midnight, when Buffy finally got home. She didn't want to face anyone, especially..."Dawnie? Why are you up so late?" She sat next to her sister, who was huddled on the couch, and softly stroked her long hair.

"I was worried about you, Buffy. I thought..." Dawn looked away "I thought you'd left me."

"No, Dawnie! I would never leave you! Never. I was just..." she trailed off, trying to think how she could explain what had happened with Spike, "Look, Dawn, I know you heard what Spike said, so I won't deny it. It's true...but I just can't explain why I did it. Can you understand that?"

"I...yeah. I think so." she giggled slightly, "After all, he is really cute!"

Buffy smiled and pulled Dawn even closer, "Say, where's Willow?"

"She left for New York with Tara. Remember? Her parents actually asked her to come."

"Oh, right! Well, you need to get some sleep and I..." A knock at the door interrupted her, "And I need to get the door. You, bed, now."

Dawn sighed but headed upstairs as Buffy went to see who was at the door. Anya and Xander stood on the front step, Xander looking rather awkward, "Um, can we come in?"

She wasn't exactly pleased to see them, but she stepped aside to let them enter. Xander turned to her as if to say something but stopped, looking at a loss for words.

Anya, with her customary lack of tact, spoke up, "We came here to talk to you about the sex you had with Spike."

"Anya!" Xander hissed, his face reddening.

"What?" Anya looked puzzled, "You said that was what we were coming here to do!"

Xander couldn't seem to find anything to say.

"It's none of your business what I did with Spike!" snapped Buffy.

"Anya, why don't you practice being quiet." He sighed, then continued, sounding sincere. "Buffy...we didn't come to criticize you. We came to apologize. I don't care what you decide to do with Spike. I just want you to be happy again...to actually smile again. Who am I to judge anyway? I'm the guy!  marrying an ex-demon."

"Ex." Anya nodded in agreement.

"I'm not going to say that I like Spike, 'cause I really don't...but, hey, that never stopped you with Angel."

"And," Anya piped up brightly, "you can have sex with him without him going all evil, then leaving you once he gets better 'cause he thinks he belongs somewhere else."

"I got it!" Buffy glared at Anya, then turned to smile gratefully at Xander. "Thanks, I think. I really don't know what will happen with Spike. I mean, we're fighting all the time, so I can't exactly say he makes me happen...but in a strange way, I'm relieved, y'know? I just want my life back."

Xander grinned fondly at her, and they hugged quickly, before Anya intervened, pushing them apart, "All right, that's enough!"


Xander smiled at her, "We'd better go. Anya wants to..."

"I know," Buffy broke in, "have sex and stuff."

"No!" snapped Anya. "What's wrong with you? We had it before we came."

"Uhh...leaving now!" he stuttered, pulling Anya outside with him.

Buffy really smiled for the first time in ages, slowly closing the door as the couple walked away, happily bickering.


The next day was rather boring. She practiced her martial arts, read fashion magazines, and flipped channels during the daytime, then went out for a routine patrol that evening. After dusting a couple of the usual stupid fledglings, the monotony of the day suddenly ended. She met Spike, "I don't want to talk to you!"

He just smirked, "Not here for you, luv."

She snorted, rolling her eyes in disbelief.

"S'true, pet. Some gozber demon owes me, so I'm paying him a little visit."

"I don't think I even want to know what a goose demon is."

"Gozber..."

"Whatever. Patrol's boring tonight. I'm heading home."

"Good for you. Get some sleep. You need it."

She headed out of the graveyard, expecting him to tag along...but he just headed in a completely different direction. She f! rowned, puzzled. Why hadn't he followed? Feeling a bit upset, she decided to head to the Bronze instead of just going home. No familiar faces there...except for Spike. He was sitting with a pretty girl and two...men? Or were they the goose demon thingies he'd mentioned earlier.

Buffy just kept staring at his table, her attention always seeming to focus on the girl, her skin pure white, her hair jet black. Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted, "Hey, there!" Startled, she jumped slightly and turned to face a rather pleasant looking man, "Want to dance?"

She hesitated, ready to say no, until she saw spike looking at her, "Uh, sure. Why not."

A song she had only heard in passing came on, and the words caught her attention.

I keep on fallin'

In and out of love

With you

Sometimes I love ya

Sometimes u make me blue

Sometimes I feel good

At times I feel used

Lovin you darlin'

Makes me so confused...

Spike didn't even glance at her again, until she found him dancing near her, the dark-haired girl with him.

"Hello, pet. Fancy seeing you here." He pulled the girl close to him, kissing her on the cheek.

Buffy just ignored him. Was this the way it was always going to be? The second she slept with someone, they seemed to become evil, although not usually as evil as Angel had become. She tried to hold back tears, wondering why she felt this way. It was Spike she was thinking about!! But still...it was the principle. Unable to hold on to a guy...to anyone...ever.

As soon as the song ended, she smiled weakly at the man she'd danced with, muttered an excuse, and virtually ran out of the club, trying to leave before Spike could follow her. As she raced into the night, tears blinded her, and she didn't know where she was going. Names kept echoing in her mind. All the people that had left...her mom...her dad...Giles...Angel...Riley...even her so-called mortal enemy was bored with her.

She found herself in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries and headed for the darkest part, blending in with the shadows. Walking past all the new graves, she hoped not to see a new vampire...she just wanted a break. Fortunately, everything seemed quiet.

Then she heard it -- someone was crying, not far from her. It was a quiet, sounding almost like a child. For some reason, it seemed to draw her and make her incredibly sad. As she cautiously searched for the origin of the noise, she wondered if it could be an elaborate scheme of Spike's...but the sobbing continued.

She could see someone kneeling at one of the graves, shaking with tears. It was a girl, thin with black hair falling down to her shoulders. She quietly came beside her, and the girl looked up, startled. "It's you!" Buffy gasped in shock.

to be continued...

A/N I know, I know, Willow going to New York is a little too convenient and probably sounds stupid, but, excuse me all you Willow fans, I don't need her or her complications with magic, although I certainly do like her character.