Chapter 3

"…Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready

for the big moments…"

It was Faith...her enemy...her sister-slayer. Faith...who stole her body and slept with Riley. Faith...who tried to kill Angel, tried to kill her, tried to kill her friends. Faith...the worst of the worst.

 

"…No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does…"

She was here, in Sunnydale. Buffy had hoped for this for a long time. She wanted a chance to face Faith on her own terms, to defeat her, and to make her realize all the terrible things she had done.

So wrapped up in her anger, she didn't really look at the girl before her. It was Faith, all right; the same raven-black hair, the same tall, well-made body...but something was very wrong. She looked...scared? Confused? Was she crying?

Her anger disappearing, she focused on the girl kneeling in front of her. The girl reduced to trembling and muttering. She was...she looked...Buffy couldn't find the right word...she looked...helpless!

 

"So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are

gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that

counts. That's when you find out who you are…"

Faith, her once-silken hair hanging dirty and ragged around her face, stared at her with a blank expression, not seeming to recognize her. She shivered in the light evening breeze.

"Faith?" she whispered finally, disbelievingly.

Faith flinched and looked away. Buffy finally noticed scratches and bruises covering her face, and she frowned more deeply.

"Faith, what's wrong?" She was starting to get scared now. "Do you know who I am?"

Faith just stared blankly at her, swaying slightly and mumbling.

"Faith, what's wrong, damn it!? Is this kind of a new game your playing?" She didn't believe for a moment that it actually was a game, but she had to get some kind of reaction of her!

She was about to try again, when two vampires suddenly attacked, yanking her backwards. She began to fight, not noticing another vampire attacking Faith. She screamed and weakly tried to resist, but he quickly overpowered her and bit her.

Finally finding her voice, Faith screamed, "Buffy!!!"

"Faith!" She dusted two of the vampires in record time, and lept to Faith's aid. She wasn't going to lose her like that! She pulled the vampire away from it's "food" and dusted it.

Faith sank to the ground again, shaking and grabbing Buffy. "Help me please!"

She gently pulled her to her feet, guiding her home. Grateful that Dawn had slept over at a friend's house, Buffy had Faith take a shower and put on some of her PJs before tending to Faith's wounds. Faith complied quietly, and Buffy wasn't sure how to deal with this new personality.

"Faith, we have to talk..."

"I can't..." Her voice broke. "I just can't."

She started to leave, but Buffy pulled her back with a sigh, "It's ok."

They sat on the couch, not talking, until Faith fell asleep. Buffy tried to leave, but she couldn't leave or Faith would begin to sob and whimper in her sleep. Eventually, she too fell asleep. In the middle of the night, a muffled scream awoke her. She began to panic when she realized Faith wasn't next to her.

Rushing out to the kitchen, where she was pretty sure the scream had come from, she found Faith standing there, blood running from her slit wrists and pooling on the creamy floor.

"Oh, God! What have you done!?" Buffy grabbed a towel and tried to stop the bleeding, but was interrupted by a knock at the backdoor. "Don't move!"

Quickly flinging open the door, she was surprised to find Spike. "Not now!"

She spun around and went back to slowing the bleeding.

"Listen, luv, I just wanted to..." then he saw Faith. "Who..."

"This is Faith."

Spike smirked and was ready to make one of his usual remarks, until he noticed the blood dripping slowly from her arms. "A Slayer!?"

Before he could make a stupid remark, Buffy broke in, "Unless you're here to help, leave. I don't have time to argue with you, she needs me."

Spike didn't answer, he just started helping her stop the bleeding. Once it finally stopped flowing, Buffy got Faith upstairs into her bed and stayed with her until she was asleep.

"She's sleeping, finally." Buffy came wearily downstairs and collapsed on the couch next to Spike.

"What's wrong with her, luv?"

"I don't know, and don't call me Luv! You say that to all your girls."

"So you're my girl?" He looked at her expectantly, a hesitant smile touching his face.

As she stared at him for a second, she wanted to caress that face...or maybe just jump him here and now. Down girl, she scolded herself, remembering the girl he'd danced with at the Bronze, feeling a twinge in her heart. "I'm not your girl, Spike. Why did you come here in the middle of the night anyway? Actually, y'know what? I really don't care. Just leave me alone."

He seemed offended, "I want to help you. What happened to here, anyway? She's a Slayer, isn't she?"

She looked at him for a second, considering a smart remark, before deciding that she was too tired to bicker. "I think she's a Slayer...but it looks like she lost her slayer strength. Is it even possible?"

"I don't know, Lu...uh, Buffy.  Actually, there was this cute Slayer back in the 30s who couldn't fight me...her blood tasted like chocolate..." Buffy glared at him, so he quickly moved on, "but she was drunk, which probably explains why she didn't fight when I...uh, well, anyway, did you tell the others?"

"I think they've heard enough bad news for one week."

"I won't say I'm sorry for what I did."

"Really? Well, what about Dawn? Do you even care about her?"

Spike sat there, silent for a moment. He really liked the Lil Bit...but he couldn't live a lie. No matter whether she wanted him or just his body, she had to face the Scoobies sometime, and that included the Nibblet. "Look, luv, I'm sorry the Lil Bit had to here it, but she's almost sixteen and she's not stupid."

"I'm not saying she's stupid, I'm just saying that learning that your sister has been having sex with a blood-sucking demon has to hurt."

"Whatever."

She glared at him, "What's that suppose to mean?"

He just shrugged his shoulders, "Dunno what you're talking about, luv."

"Yes, you do, Spike! If you have something to tell me then say it now or get the hell out of my life!"

"Fine" he snarled, "How about you are lying to yourself? 'Oh, no, he doesn't have a soul. He is a blood sucking demon who only wants to fuck me senseless. He is bad, a thing...' "

"Shut up!" she shouted, slapping him hard.

His head whipped around from the force of her slap, and when he turned back he was in full game face. He grabbed her arms and pulled them above her head as he put his full weight on top of her, pinning her down.

"Get off of me!" she started to struggle.

"You will listen to me, little girl!" She froze, remembering the only person who'd ever called her that...Angelus. Spike obviously remembered too as he loosened his grip a little. "If living a lie is how you want to live in the short life you will have, then go ahead. But, I don't want to! Remember this: you came to me. You crossed the line, and now you are pissed off at yourself! Truth is, you can't accept yourself as a grown up with needs and desires. You want to stay the good angel for your Angel. Well, news flash: he left you, again. I, on the other hand, stay with you. I don't need a Sister Theresa! That was Peaches's fantasy wife, not mine. I want my women passionate and real. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry that Angel, Riley, or some bloody other person ruined you for others. I'm sorry that a girl like you has to live according to others' standards and expectations and not her own. I'm sorry that your mother died, leaving you an! d Lil Bit to take care of yourselves, and I am sorry for EVER letting you touch me!"

With that he let her go, expecting to be flung to the floor by an angry Slayer. But there was no angry Slayer flying at him, looking at Buffy, he saw her sitting hurt and broken, as if every word had hurt more than any wounds she'd gotten in any fight. Tears were slipping down her tanned cheeks, and she began to sob, not caring that he was right there, probably laughing at her, at her weakness. She braced herself for his arrogant remarks...but none came. Instead, she suddenly found herself gently pulled against a cold, hard chest, hands moving soothingly on her back, arms circled protectively around her.

She cried for hours until there was nothing else to cry for, and the whole time Spike stayed there, protecting her, comforting her. She felt as if she were with a best friend, not an angry lover. He was so kind and understanding, and he didn't try to make fun of her or confront her again as she sobbed.

When she finally stopped crying, she gently pushed him away and went to the bathroom to clean herself up. As she returned, she found him sitting where she'd left him, smiling.

"I..." She started to say something, but Spike stopped her.

"Don't say anything, Buffy. I'm sorry. You've had a long day, what with Faith and all. By the way, where did you find her?"

"I found her tonight, hiding behind a gravestone. A vampire attacked her, and she couldn't fight him, she just screamed. It was like she was total powerless. I wonder what could do that? Some kind of demon, maybe? I think I'll check the Magic Box tomorrow...er, later today."

"On Sunday?"

"Yeah, I don't want anyone to know she's here."

"She wasn't very popular, was she?"

"No, she wasn't...but she once asked me to trust her...and I refused. This time, I can't turn my back on her. Listen, I'm really tired, so Spike, time to go!"

"The hell I'm going to leave you with that nutcase."

She just raised an eyebrow.

"It was worth a shot." He shrugged, grinning. "G'night, Buffy."

Once Spike was gone, she tried to make herself comfortable on the couch. She started to think about Faith, not having time to consider the problem with Spike. That was, unfortunately, how most of her life went. Too busy saving others to take care of her own problems. Gradually, she slipped off into a dreamless sleep.

In the morning, she made breakfast. Faith quietly slipped into the kitchen and sat down.

"Good morning!" smiled Buffy "How did you sleep?"

She glanced down, not answering. "Can I have some juice?"

Buffy grabbed some orange juice and began to pour it into a glass for her. "How's your hand?"

"Where's Dawn?"

"She's at a friend's house for a sleepover. Um, I was planning on searching in Giles books...um, about you...your...how you..."

"No need."

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure I know what happened to me."

"So...uh, do you want to...I mean, could you..."

"I...need time." Faith felt that she needed a lot more than that, actually. She needed to figure out if she could trust Buffy again.

As if reading her mind, Buffy smiled comfortingly, "You can trust me, Faith."

She shifted uncomfortably and stood up, "I'd better go"

"You can't run, Faith. You lost your powers right?"

She didn't answer, just tried to smirk slightly, but it didn't come out the way she had wanted. Instead of looking evil and mysterious, it was the sad smile of someone much, much older than she was.

"Please, Faith, you can tell me."

She backed away, "Look, B, thanks for your help. You're a real friend and all that."

"Stop it, Faith!" Buffy grabbed her, and she flinched back. "I will not let you go! You need help. If you won't help yourself, then I suppose I'll have to."

She tried to push her away, but Buffy held on.

"Everything's not five by five, Faith. What happened?"

Wrenching herself away from Buffy, Faith slowly walked to the front door, "I made a big mistake, B, and now...I'm being punished."

"Tell me."

 To be continued

Author's note: The quotes at the beginning were Whistler from "Becoming (Part 1)"