Disclaimer - I don't own any of the characters I'm currently tormenting...errr....borrowing. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. They will be returned worse for wear, glomped beyond recognition, and more than likely traumatized for life.

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The Road to Hell's Kitchen is Paved with Road Ragers

The group tromped out of the hotel, Heather is lugging a huge suitcase filled with cash and grumbling about inks and dyes. Mokuba is twirling around happily, they all stop when they reach the bus which has changed itself into a giant RV. Yami Malik smirked to his other half "I call drivers seat."

~~Hours Later On The Road~~

The RV is seen speeding down a winding road at nearly 90 MPH and Yami Malik is glaring at anything that gets in his way. Cutting people off and throwning Pez wrappers out the window. Malik is pressed against the far door watching his Yami nervously. Everyone else is in back not daring to move lest they throw off the crazed spirits aerodynamis and slow them down a mile. Mokuba whined as he sat on one of the beds in the RV "I hafta go to the bathroom...."

Seto could not feel any compassion for his younger brother in this situation. He looked to the younger Kaiba a look of almost frustration on his face "Hold it...for the love of GOD just hold it!"

Bakura was curled up in a ball on the floor clutching a teddy bear to his chest as his crazed partner in crime continued his road rage. "what if he screams at us again......" Daniell was still angry of her previous game of scrabble with Yami and seemed in deep though "I KNOW those were not words......"

Yami himself frowned and looked to Heather "So you think you can just make him go slower Heather?" Heather however was hiding under a blanket not daring to stick her head out "He scares me......" She said from her hiding place. "I HAVE TO PEE!" Mokuba proclaimed again. Ryou however had found that not having a hang over had left him a state of total nirvana, he sat in a medatitive pose on top of the RVs 'kitchen' table. "The repression of bodily functions might cause irrepairable harm to oneself." Danielle couldn't help but whap the white haired hikari in the side of the head for suggesting that they even think of moving and incuring the Yami's wrath "Screw that! Do you KNOW what he'll do to us!?" Pegasus looked fearful "He'll scream at us again." Bakura still lay in his fetal position on the floor grasping the teedy bear for dear life "He called me a "momma's boy"....." Yami snickered at this. ".......You are......."

He replied smuggly. Angel reaper was the only one who seemed to be paying any attention to Mokuba's...urm...bladder crisis as she handed him a bottle "Use this...." Mokuba finally got feed up holding a fist in the air. "I'm NOT going in that just so that nutcase can break the land-speed record...." Heather attempted to hush the one she normally got along with still under the blanket. "shhh...he'll hear you...." Mokuba stood up and began screaming " I DON'T CARE! I HAVE TO-------"

The RV came to a screaming halt that lasted for several moments, the group is thrown around at random all screaming the door seperating the cab from the living area bursts open. Thunder crackled in the distances as a huge silouette appears in the frame holding two massive swords. Pegasus found himself screaming from his position which happened to be upside down in the sink. "IT'S THE DEVIL!" The rest of the group answered this with a group "AHHHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Yami Malik had never looked so evil "WHO IN THE *^&^&%^&%%^^& MOVED!?" Seto slowly began the process of peeling himself off the wall. "Uhhhhhh.......that would be a tough question to answer...." Malik appeared from the drivers cab a worried look on his face as if something had scared him. "Uhhh Yami.....you know that cow we creamed about fifty miles back...." He began only to recive a whack in the face from his other half. "SILENCE!" Mokuba looked truly pathetic as he looked up at the older teen with sad puppy dog eyes "I have to pee......." Most would have melted...or at least been sympathetic but not Yami Malik...especially in road rage mode "YOU STOPPED ME ^%%@(^@ DEAD IN THE &%#&^%&%#^% ROAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO *^$#(&^)( PEE?!" Mokuba adjusted "Really really bad...." Malik was still trying to get his counterparts attention "Yami...man.......that cow........." Heather fell from the ceiling, getting up and dusting off "You know, ONE bathroom break seven hours ago isn't going to cut it.........errrr......sir?" She said the last part showing that she seriously regreted saying anything. She looked up. Yami Malik looked dowen. Heather then relized how tenuous her thread of life was at the moment...she prudently stepped back. "....I mean.........gee...How absolutely GIVING and SWEET of you to let us use the restrooms facilities just that short time ago. I mean, GOSH! How many other people would stop that many times?" By this time Mokuba was jumping on one foot "....pppppllllleeeeaaassseeeeeee?" Malik was still trying to point out the new threat of the roadkill cow "that cow man.........uhhh....it brought friends......" Yami Malik could only glare at the younger Kaiba "FINE! BATHROOM BREAK!" This ensued cheers from everyone. "YEAH!!!!"

Yami Malik stomped back into the cab an angry look on his face as he turned to his counter part "What?!" He looked confused as his light pointed outside. "....the...Hell?" His eyes widened at the current almost humanly impossible situation. The RV is now surrounded by a herd of angry cattle, the leader of which is the same cow Yami Malik had mowed over some miles ago, it proceeded to wave a crutch at him "KILL THE HUMANS! EAT THE MEAT! KILL THE HUMANS!! EAT THE MEAT!!" Yami Maliks grip on the steering wheel tightened "&%*&^%*^ COWS!"

-----CONTENT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR COW LOVERS----

The RV revs up, which suddenly surged forward, running over cows left and right. The leader is ramped, the RV went flying, but Yami Malik wasn't done yet, he wheeled back, he came in for another pass laughing like a madman. Cows and cow parts go flying in all directions. The group in the living area were screaming, but Pegasus is screaming more...he's trapped in the bathroom.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOBODY CAN '''FLUSH" THIS DAMNED THING! AHHHHHHHH!"

The RV went flying through the air, turning in circles and spiraling down with a bulky grace of an elephant with sparrow wings.

Angel Reaper grasped onto Yugi for dear life "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Heather looked flustered "AND I"M STILL A VIRGIN!!!!" Mokuba looked weirdly at the teen. ".....the Hell?" Bakura ducked "HEADS UP!" He yelled as a cow came flying through the side of the RV weilding a chainsaw. "AHHHHH!" Yami looked proud of himself as he raised a sword "Fear not! For I have the Almighty Dragonbuster!" This of course resulted in the cow spitting on the flame of the sword which went out. Yami looked at the sword. "SH!T" The cow then kicked Yami in the knee and started chewing on his hair. Danielle pulled out her 'weapon'which actually resembled more of a vaccum cleaner "AHA! Foul beast! BEHOLD! The DUSTBUSTER of HORRID NASTY DEATH!" Bakura and Heather could only say one thing at the same time "SH!T" Danielle turned on the dustbust with an evil laugh "AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA!" Cow screamed as it found itself sucked into the dustbuster "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Yami Malik was still running down any stray cows, still laughing manically. Malik is curled up in a corner crying. When suddenly Seto burst into the cab "LOOK OUT FOR THAT CLIFF!" Yami Malik only looked devious "Do not bother me with such petty things. I'm busy!" Just as he says this the RV goes flying, there was no more road to rage on, all the group is scraming now. Pegasus of course was still trapped in the bathroom "WHY CAN'T YOU &%^$*^(%&% PEOPLE FLUSH!!!!!" As the RV goes plummeting off the cliff, unknown to them, a mysterious figure known only as the DEVIL CLOWN is watching, waiting.

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Heather: Devil clown? I've said it before, I'll say it again Tio-Chan is on Acid. I swear it.

Danielle: It would seem that out authoress has gone insane at the moment. Urg.

Bakura: I'll say, letting Malik drive? It's hell on wheels.

Seto: My brother had bladder problems that's never a good thing.

Pegasus:...I'm stuck in the bathroom and Cows are attacking the RV? I agree with you Heather she's on acid.

Heather: Yeah might as well just get it over with before she makes her apperance...Please read and review.