CHAPTER 3
Logan didn't say a word when his grandparents told them abou the plan. But Max knew it would be for the best, otherwise it would only be a matter of time until Logan started another round of self-pitying and without Bling she was not sure she could talk him out of it.
Logan swallowed hard then looked at his grandparents. "Maybe you are right. I'm sorry though, this is not what I imagined it to be. I'm sorry I can't deal with this right now." He wished he was strong enough, but not even Max's presence helped.
"So where would you like to go?" Logan looked up at Max and grinned slightly.
"I...I don't know."
"How about Paris?" Peter proposed. "It's wonderful. City of love."
"Sounds greatto me. Let's go to Paris!" Max through her arms around Logan and kissed him. "That's gonna be a blast!"

Soon, all realtives left the house and it was nice and peaceful again. Max helped Anna do the dishes and Peter was out grocery shopping.
"How did he take it?" Anna didn't have to specify.
"He's still pretty sensitive when it comes to his disability." Max sadly smiled. "It took him nearly one year to allow me to talk about it." She put another cup in the sink. "You know, I don't care about the chair, but he still has moments when he won't believe that. It's too big a problem for him."
"He really is lucky he found you."
"I'm the lucky one." She dried her hands and sat down. "I never imagined I could be that happy and satisfied."
Anna sat down across from her and waited for her to go on.
"We've had rough times and I'm sure there are going to be struggles in tehfuture, each of us has their own demons. But I won't give up on him, ever."
"Max?" Anna suddenly had watery eyes. "How close was he to kill himself?" Shetook Max's hand that laid on the table. "I won't talk to him about it, but I need to know."
Max nodded her understanding. "He'd have done it. Damn, he'd have pulled that trigger, and I would've been too late. I'd have found him."
"Why didn't he...?"
"An upstairs neighbor had taken a fall in the bathroom and water dropped through the floor. He went to check on her."
"Oh my god."
"I'd have found him, and I could never have forgiven myself. I'd have failed him- again. You know, that day, when he was shot, he'd asked me to join him, and I'd refused. God, if I'd been there, if only I'd helped him, he'd still be alright." She sobbed now. "I'm so sorry."
"Max..." Both women's heads cast around and saw Logan wheeling into the room. He stopped in front of his girlfriend. "Look at me. It's not your fault. I don't blame you. Max, you saved my life more times and in more ways than I can count." He rolled even closer and embraced her. "I love you. I'm fine as long as you are there. Those people hurt me, damn, they hurt me like hell, but they won't break me. Not as long as you are there."

Anna watched the couple in silence. There still seemed to be many unanswered questions standing between them, but the love they felt for each other was so obvious that she didn't worry. Maybe a week in Paris could help solve some.
Max finally got up. "OK, that were enough tears for one day. How about you having a bath?" She grinned sheepishly at him, noticing that Anna didn't realize the implications.
"Fine by me." He squeezed his grandma's hand and said ina low whisper. "Don't worry about me, Max is gonna pull me through."
Then he followed the young woman down theall way.

"Wow, you are fast." The tub was already filling and Max was about to undress herself. He awkwardly tried to trandfer from his chair to the edge of the bathtub after strapping off his clothes to his boxers. But as teh bathroom was so small the ankle he had to deal with made that almost impossible. Max watched, secretly admiring his muscular chest.
"Want some help?" She'd expected another outburst, but he just nodded.
"Yes, please."
He got completely undressed and had Max help him get into the tub.
He'd already placed his right leg in the water when Max came in touch with it. "Logan!" Without anotherword she pushed her boyfriend into a standing position, pulling his leg out of the water.
"Max, what the hell..."
"Damn it, the water's way too hot!" She placed him in his chair and cheked his wet leg. "Look at this, it's all red."
"Don't worry. I can't feel it anyway."
"But it's still injured." She looked up into his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Max, it's not your fault, we both didn't check." He squeezed her hand. "Come on, let some cold water in the tub, then everything's OK."
She did as she was told. "But we still have to find and ointment fior your leg."
He nodded his agreement after looking down at the angry red color of his limb.
Together they enjoyed the bath and Logan felt amazingly comfortable in her presence.

"OK, dress your sweatpants so we can treat the injury, and be careful!" She watched him get ready, not bothering the injury.
Max knew from experience thateven a slight burn like that hurt like hell, and here he was, acting as if nothing had happened.
"Anna?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you have anything that cools burns?"
"Sure, what happened?"
Instead of answering she motioned towards Logan's legs.
"Water was too hot and we noticed too late."
"Hell, that must hurt..." Anna bit on her lips."Sorry. I'll get you something."
"It's Ok granny, don't worry."

Ten minutes later the injury was treated to Max's satisfaction.
"You know, you are the bravest patient I've ever had." She gave hima tap on the cheek. "No screaminga nd crying ata ll."
"And what can I get for this?"
"How about a kiss?"
"Sounds good to me."
In their own room Max sat down in his lap, careful not to disturb teh injured leg, and leaned in to kiss him passionately.
"Wow, thanks. I should hurt my leg more often..."
Suddenly his face became serious.
"What's up?"
"Can I ask you a favor? You don't have to do it if you don't feel comfortable."
"Spill."
"I've to stand from time to time. Usually Bling helps me with it, but he's not around..."
"No big dealio. Just tell me what to do."
"Basically, carry me, or stabilize me. Whatever." Max knew he didn't like the situation.
"OK, no problem. But please, Logan, we talked about it. You don't need to hide anything, I don't mind helping you, that doesn't mean I look at you any different." Her eyes were full of honesty and passion.
"Yeah, thanks." He shyly smiled up at her. "Ok, you have to put your feet against mine and I'll lay my arms around yourshoulder. Then you have to push me into an upright position. My legs have to carry my weight, or at least pretend to."
"Sure thing, master Logan."
Logan put his feet on the ground and showed Max how to position her own. He wasn't sure it would work, Max was a lot smaller than Bling.
"I can hold you, trust me." May leaned down and let him put his arms around her neck. Slowly she pushed him up.
To Max it felt so weird, there he was, the man of her dreams, standing in front of her. Again, she marvelled about his height. "Is that OK? How is the air up here?"
"I'm great, thanks."
"Shall I lower my support?"
"Unless you want me landing flat on my face, I wouldn't recommend that."
"So why do you have to stand?"
"To keep my bones intact and the circulation running basically." He smiled at her "I wish this was real. Me, standing in front of you, bending down to swirl you aroun and then kiss you."
"You might go for the kissing part."
She didn'thave to tell him twice.
"I love you, Logan Cale."
"Dito." Carefully, not to lose their balance, she embraced him.

"OK, I think that should do it. Thanks, Max."
"Any time." Slowly she lowered him to his chair. "By the way, what shall I dress tonight. Is it formal?"
"To be on the safe side you should ask granny, but I don't think it is."

"What isn't what??" The elderly woman stood in the doorframe. "Lunch is ready if you want to eat something. It's onlya soup though as we will get a lot to eat for dinner. Hope that's OK with you."
"Sure thing. We discussed what Max should wear tonight."
"Oh, it's a family thing. Pretty casual I'd say."
"Great."
The afternoon was relaxing. Max beat Peter playing chess a couple of times. Logan and Anna watched in amusement.
"I hope you don't mind if I excuse myself for an hour. The jetlag., I'd like to lay down for a few minutes." She smiled at Logan when he looked at her, surprised. They both knew she didn't need any sleep, but she wanted to give Logan the chance to spend some time with his grandparents. "Sleep tight." Logan squeezed her hand gently.

"She is a great girl, don't let her go."
"I'll try, but we're very different. I hope she won't run, I could never keep up with her."
"She obviously is in love with you, don't let certain things come between you."
"I can't pretend the chair's not here." His voice was suddenly bitter.
"That's not what I was talking about. She's a clever girl, she wouldn't be here if the hair was an issue." Anna laid a hand on Logan's unfeeling thigh. "I'm talking about you and your secrets. You have to allow her in. If you don't let her share, it will drive her away." Logan didn't answer, she only hoped, Logan would consider her words. He hadn't talked about his parents and all that was connected to them in a long time, but she felt like Max could break down that wall eventually.

About an hour later Logan wheeled into the bedroom. Max was sitting on their bed, just staring at the wall. When she heard him stopping next to the bed, she turned her head and grinned.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Did you have a nice time?"
"Yeah. Lots of catching up. Peter got a flight for us tomorrow morning. We probably should pack now."
"Not much work, we never unpacked."
Logan was silent, apparently there was something that bothered him.
"What's up?"
"Are you sure you wanna go, Max?"
"Sure, why not?"
"I'm not sure a sightseeing tour with me is gonna be fun."
Max didn't get his point right away. "Why would that be?"
When she glanced at his legs, she understood.
"This is ridiculous. Damn, how often do you need to hear that I don't care? I'm getting tired of it." She stood up and glanced down at him. "I can't imagine another person I wanna go to Paris with. I love you, I respect you, I accept ou, sitting or walking. So shut up and look forward to the trip."
Logan grinned slyly. "This is new to me Max. I'm not used to be regarded as a normal person, not even Bling does. When I look at my grandparents I know they can't forget about the chair either."
"But this is just what you want, so why can't you be happy that I can?"
"I try to, and then I think about how you deserve someone who is an equal partenr, somebody who can stand up to you, literally."
"You ARE this someone."
She stepped closer and embraced him tightly. "Trust me."
The couple was disturbed by the doorbell. "Oh, family's back, that's gonna be fun."

Somehow Max and Logan managed to avoid the relatives for most of the afternoon, and it soon was time to get dressed for the party. Karen, Mark and Emily arrived just in time. "Logan!" Emily climbed on his lab and gave him a hug, then she stood up on his legs to do the same with Max.
"Be careful!" Logan got hold of Emily's waist.
"Hi." Karen winked. "Ready to go?"
"Sure, just let me get my purse." Max quickly returned to their room where she heard the two girls talk- in English this time.
"I don't understand why she is with a cripple like him."
"Yeah, she could have any other man."
"It's not like he's ugly. I'm sure he used to be handsome, and he's rich..."
"Cut it out! What the hell is the matter with you?" Max burst into the room. "You treat him like he is some sort of alien. The only thing that's "wrong" with him are his legs, big deal. And just for the record, I fell in love with him because he is the most gentle, sweetest and honest man I've ever met."
Max grabbed her purse and left the girls standing in the room, openmouthed.
"What's up, sweety?" Logan waited at the front door.
"Nothing. Let's get going, the others are waiting." She smiled down at him, he was the perfect gentleman and her very own match.

Logan carefully climbed into the front seat of the high car and watched Max storing away his wheelchair.
"Ok, ready?" Karen turned the ignition key and followed Mark who had Emily and Logan's grandparents in his car.
"Logan, are you sure you wanna go there?" Karen carefully glanced at her cousin and saw him swallow. Then she noticed Max's hand on his shoulder.
"I guess so. We're gonna sit at a table, right? So I just have to get in and outta there quickly. That will safe me some embarrassment."
"You know that Anna and Peter would understand."
"Yeah, but that's what we came here for. I'm gonna be fine. And in case it really gets too intense I'll let you know."

They drove the rest of the way in silence.
When they finally arrived at the restaurant, Mark and Emily were waiting outside. "Hey, Peter and Anna already went in, but there are some stairs at the entrance, so I figured I'm gonna wait for you."
Max was a little surprised Logan accepted the help gratefully. Mark apparently made him feel comfortable. Of course, she could have easily pulled Logan up herself, but that would mean giving away her abilities.
When they reached the stairs Mark rubbed his hands. "What do you want me to do?" Logan showed him where to grab the chair and it was only a matter of seconds until they entered the restaurant.

Max laid her hand on Logan's shoulder as they made their way towards the long table.
"Wow, how many people are gonna be here?" Max replaced one chair without really thinking about it.
"About thirty." Peter smiled a forced smiled. "Lot's of people we hardly know."
Anna nodded. "But traditions can't be broken that easily." She looked at her watch. "The others should come any..." She straightened. "Deborah! Nice to see you." She hesitantly embraced the elderly woman. Max couldn't help but stare at her. Her hair had a violet touch, her lips were pink and there were golden earrings, bracelets and necklaces hanging heavily on her.
"May I introduce you to our grandson Logan and hid girlfriend Max?" Max stood up and nodded friendly.
"Haven't they told you how to greet older people?" She made a motion to indicate she expected Logan to stand up. Max closed her eyes for a second and held her breath.
"I'm sorry, but if I tried that I'd be kissing your feet by now." Logan's voice was cold and trembled slightly. He released his brakes and rolled backan inch so Deborah could see the chair. "Hope you understand."
The woman stared at the young man sitting across the table, then she turned away without saying another word.
"Are you OK?"
"Do you remember me telling you I'd let ya know when it gets too intense. Well, that was close." Max gently squeezed his hand. That must have been so humiliating for him.

Logan took a deep breath, suddenly he was grateful for the flight to Paris. He felt Max's hand in his own and knew that he wasn't alone. She knew him too well, he couldn't hide his feelings from her, and it gave him some peace to know that somebody was feeling with him.

The rest off the guests arrived, greeted them and turned their attention towards the food. No more humiliating incidents. But Logan was silent and Max found him plaing with the wheels of his chair. He definitely didn't feel comfortable.
"Do you wanna go home?" Max leaned on his shoulder and caressed his unfeeling thigh.
"And leave the room with everybody watching? No way."
He'd lost his self-confidence completely and she knew there was nothing she could do about that right now.
"OK." She kissed him and let her hand lie on his thigh when she turned her attention back to Karen.

Logan didn't follow conversation anymore, he was lost in his own thoughts, looking down that deep black hole he'd fought to escape so hard lately. With all the humiliation and the stares he felt it swallow him. Why did he care that much? He had all he ever could dream of sitting next to him. Max mattered more to him than the use of his legs, but he couldn't expect her to heal all his wounds. He suddenly realized that he'd tried to leave the responsibility for his mental state with her. But this still was his very own fight. He had to face reality and come to terms with it, she wouldn't be able to make is problems disappear.
";Max. let's go home." He gave her a little smile when he saw the surprise in her brown eyes.

Logan released the brakes and wheeled over to inform his grandparents. Max saw them nod and wave at her.
"I'm gonna bring you home." Mark stood up aswell.
"Thanks, but I'd rather walk. I need to talk to Logan." She smiled. "But thanks a lot."
"You're welcome. Have fun in Paris, and write a postcard."
"We will. Bye."
Max followed Logan to the exit. "I told Mark we'd walk home, hope that's OK."
"Yeah, I just had to get out of there."
After checking nobody was nearby, Max hauled Logan down the stairs without much effort. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Max dared to speak.
"You should not let those people bother you that much."
"I know, but they make me feel so small and vulnerable. The black sheep, you know."
"If only they knew who you really are."
"Eyes only isn't me, Max."
"Sure he is, as much as your legs and insecurities. Why can't you see that?"
"Nobody does."
"They all admire Eyes only, so they admire you."
Logan didn't answer, Max hoped he was thinking about it was the strolled on in silence.
When they passed a playground Max stopped, in Seattle those things didn't exist anymore. "Do you mind if I..."
"Just go."
While Max was climbing the monkeybars he wheeled closer, a smile on his face. She was like a child, full of energy and joy of life. And she was his.
"Logan! Come on over!" She indicated a swing and smiled sheepishly.
"Max, I..."
"I'm gonna be there."
Hesitantly he wheeled closer and finally, seeing Max's pleading look, he agreed with a sigh.
"Just don't let go if I can't balance."
"I promise."
In one fluid motion she hoisted him in the seat and made sure is sat in it securely. "Ok, it's OK. I'll let go now."
Logan held on to the straps. He just sat there, staring straight ahead. Even though he knew Max didn't care about his paralysis, he felt helpless and ridiculous. Maybe it was because he was out of his chair, and with that lacking any amount of mobility, depending completely on somebody else. Maybe it was because he realized there were so many small things he couldn't do anymore.
Max pushed him carefully, making sure he was not going to lose his balance. As she observed him she felt him tense, he had to stop that act of self-pity. She angrily grabbed the seat and stopped it. This time, Logan didn't have the abdominal strength to keep his balance. He slid out of the seat and landed in the sand. "Damn, Max. What the hell...?"
"You gotta stop this. We're here to enjoy ourselves." She sat down opposite of him. "Why do you care so much about what those jerks say?"
"You don't understand that."
"Right, because it's not making any sense. Usually you are strong, you don't let that bother you to that extent."
"It took me quite some time to get over the wedding. This is so much worse."
"We'll be outta here tomorrow. Those people don't matter. I'm the one who comes with you, and I don't care."
Logan smiled insecurely. "I know that, but it's not that easy."
"Let me help you, Logan. Open up."
"I will when I'm ready, ok?"
"Ok. And now let's get up. The sand's wet."
She carried him over to his wheelchair and carefully positioned him in it.
"I'm sorry I let you go, but you needed a wakeup call."
"It's OK. Thanks Max." He grabbed her arm and pulled her down to place a kiss on his lips. Then they walked home and went straight to bed. Eventually they fell asleep in each other's embrace.