HI! I have no idea if that's gonna be interesting ever again, or just go on like that. Anyway, nobody is forced to read, right? Well, just to comment on some reviews (no offense taken, don't worry). I'm writing with an American spell checking program, so Mum might turn out the American way, I think everybody can live with that:-) And facilities for disabled in Europe are (in my opinion) worse than in the US. I am European, but I've been to quite a few places in the US. And they are better equipped!! But, you know, let's just pretend I'm right, even when you think I'm not:-) Have a great day everybody, and keep on reviewing. I don't mind criticism!!!
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They spent the following three hours in the hotel room, watching TV. Finally they saw on the news that those responsible for the chip-scandal were imprisoned.
"Guess we can go home now, huh?" Nic let out a sigh of relief. "How about you two check out and stay with me?"
Max eyed Logan and when she saw him shrug, she wordlessly began to pack. "Thanks. I hate hotels."
The next three days they didn't accomplish much, they visited some places, went to fine restaurants, laughed and talked. In the presence of the two people Logan trusted most, aside from Bling, he opened up a little. He could finally talk aout his feelings and shared some of his nightmares. Max knew the wounds were still deep, and there would be times when he would do worse again, would have to fight his demons again, but for now he gave those wounds a chance to begin a healing process. Max even got the impression that he began to accept his fate. The bitter tone in his voice, whenever it came to his impairment sometimes was missing.
At their last evening together, they sat on the balcony. They'd pulled two mattresses out there and lingered on the floor. Logan had slid out of his wheelchair and had allowed his friends to help him to the furthest end of the balcony, then he had ordered Max to remove the chair so it was nowhere in sight.
"So, what are your plans now?2 Logan caressed Max's arm.
"I really don't know," Nic shrugged. "Maybe I should come to Seattle for a while."
"Yeah, I'd like that. My guestroom's free if you want."
"No, I don't want to bother you two."
"Come on, Logan is right. There is plenty of space."
"Well, maybe that's an idea. At least for a week or two."
"Settled. We're gonna be in England for another week, then you can come whenever you want to."
"Great. I have to move out here first of all. Virginie and her family will move to Toulouse, my Mom is living there anyway. I guess I'll get my stuff down there and stored away."
They spent most of the night talking, until Nic announced he'd try to get some sleep. He and Max warily got up in order to help Logan inside, but he just shook his head.
"Don't do that to me. I nearly forgot about being a crip tonight. I'll stay right where I am." Wordlessly Max went inside and returned with blankets. She liked the idea.
"I'm not gonna be responsible for the cold you are gonna catch."
"Sure, just stay close to keep me warm."
"Had nothing else in mind."
"Ok, see you two in the morning, frozen." Nic yawned and went inside.
"It's already 4 am, I'm not gonna get much sleep I'm afarid."
"Cool, and I have to deal with cranky Logan in the morning then."
"The least I can do is to excuse myself in advance." He pulled her closer and kissed her passionately. "That ok?"
As an answer she kissed him back.
The next morning Nic brought them to the airport and said goodbye. "Count on me, I'll see you two soon. Have fun in England."
A short flight later the couple was greeted by Logan's grandparents. "How was your week? I can tell you we were awfully busy and I hated it."
"Well, we had lots of fun,and apparently not half as much trouble as you." Max laid her hand on Logan's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm really looking forward to being alone with you two. It's just one more day."
"Family's still occupying the house?"
"Yeah, unfortunately."
"Maybe we could stay with Karen for one night. What do you think?"
"I'd prefer to have you with us, but I can see how you don't wanna stay around them. Anna?"
"Sure, but they don't have a spare room on the first floor."
"I can live with the sofa for a night, and Max can sleep upstairs." He knew she'd refuse to leave him alone, esp. Ina place with that many obstacles. But they'd reached the car and Max didn't bother arguing.
Peter and Anna told them about the nightmare week they'd had and Logan mentioned Nic.
"Oh gosh, we haven't seen him in years, why didn't he come?"
"He is about to move, but he will visit Max and me in Seattle soon."
"It's good to know you are still in touch, after all what happened." Peter turned to look at Max. "You know, they were like brothers."
"Really?" Max shot Logan a glance, not really believing why he'd never told her.
"Anyway, have you heard about that computer chips scandal in Paris? Was apparently kinda dirty. We've read that some kind of crusader for justice helped to bring them down. He is said to operate from the States. Do you know Eyes only?"
Max grinned. "Yeah, he's pretty busy over there. A great guy, he dedicated his life to help those in need. Oughtta be very brave. I really admire him."
Logan caught Max's eyes in the rearview mirror and saw the love and pride there.
"Ok, here we are. We'll leave your bags in the trunk and take them to Karen's later, OK?"
Logan saw the twins heading in their direction immediately, he knew that she shouldn't care, but he couldn't help. He didn't want to climb out of the car in front of those teenagers. People who knew what it meant to do simple things without the use of legs or abdominal strength, saw that he was doing just fine. But for people who didn't think about that he had to seem pathetic, and that was something he hated.
Max felt Logan's uneasiness and after setting his chair next to the door she caught the twin's attention by starting to ramble on about fashion in Paris. From what Logan could tell, it was the biggest nonsense he'd ever heard. But that didn't matter. He wasn't in the center of attention.
However, that didn't last long. It had been raining in London, and the place where the car was parked was muddy and wet. Logan didn't notice and wasn't able to avoid his chair from toppling over when he put his weight on one side. On one more humiliating occasion he landed flat on his face.
Before he could even start to collect himself Max was by his side. "Shit. I'M sorry, I should have..."
"Cut it out, Max. I just wasn't careful enough. Dammit! I'm so sick of it!" At first he shoved her away, but finally he realized that it was ok and necessary to accept her help. "Sorry." His voice sounded tired and defeated.
"You're welcome." She gently placed him in his chair and grabbed its back. Logan could feel all the pitiful stares, he thought he even heard them whisper. But he couldn't look at anybody. Grateful that Max had reacted quickly and was now pushing him towards the house, he tried to concentrate on something else.
"Are you OK?" She took him straight to the bathroom. "You stay right where you are, I'll get your bag." To underline her words she set the brakes of his chair.
"Is he alright? Did he get hurt?" Max shook her head.
"No, no big deal. It's not been the first fall he'd taken, believe me. Nothing happened, he is just a little dirty." She didn't want to go into his state of mind, but Anna knew her grandson.
"Every fall his humiliating, huh? And this one especially."
"Yeah." Max grabbed the bag Peter had brought in. "I'll try to talk to him. Don't worry too much. He is gonna be fine. He has to deal with this every day, so it might look worse to you than it really is. Just make sure those girls won't make any stupid remarks."
"He is really lucky to have you." Anna embraced her.
"And so am I."
On her way back Max had to think of a time when he hadn't allowed her to see his weaknesses. One time, when she'd known he'd just climbed back into his chair before she'd entered the room. His legs had still been tangled, but he'd tried to pretend everything was fine. She remembered how rude he'd been about her idea of him joining her at that conference. Why hadn't she realized back then how poorly he adapted to his new life. She'd shoved his reactions off as a short-living depression or bad mood. Now she knew he'd already been despondent and desperate back then.
Her track of thoughts was interrupted when she reached the bathroom. Logan was still sitting like she'd left him, staring straight ahead.
"You OK?"
"Yeah." He looked up at her, trying to smile. "Guess I acted kinda childish."
"It's ok. I'm used to it."
She helped him undress and filled the tub before undressing herself. They acted in silent understanding. She supported him as he slid into the tub, then she sat down on his unfeeling thighs to help him keep his balance.
"You know, it's just every time I think I finally can live a normal," they both had to grin. "life, something like that must happen to show me I can't. I'm so tired of that."
"I know." Max knew there was nothing she could tell that would make him feel better, those were the facts he had to live with. But she hoped her presence and unconditional support could help. "I love you, no matter what."
"I love you, too."
Half an hour later they were both dressed and returned to the kitchen. To Max's relief there only were Logan's grandparents.
"Do you want some pasta? There is a lot left."
Max nodded gratefully. "I'm starving."
"Logan?"
"Sounds great. Thanks."
The incident wasn't mentioned again. His grandparents acknowledged his need to deal with it by himself- and with Max's help.
A few hours later they got ready for the party. Max knew that her boyfriend didn't like the idea, but he'd go there no matter what, knowing how much it meant to Peter and Anna.
This time nobody made stupid comments and it seemed to Max as if Logan didn't care that much. It was nearly dawn when Karen proposed to go home, both Mark and Logan had drunk quite a bit. At first Max was slightly pissed but then decided to look at the fun side: Logan had relaxed, made jokes and seemed to enjoy himself, besides he'd suffer a terrible hangover and she could tease him.
The women tried to convince the guys to leave, and while Karen was having a hard time dragging Mark, Max simply pushed Logan's wheelchair, gripping his arms so he was completely immobile.
"Now I know why you chose Logan, it's a lot easier to make him go where you want." Karen giggled, her light tone indicated that she didn't mean it. Max laughed back. "If he wasn't that drunk I'd not be able to make him do anything against his will. Besides, I'll have more trouble getting him inside the car."
She was right, Logan was no help and in order not to give away her strength she asked Karen for help.
Finally he sat in the passenger seat, mumbling nonsense. "Maybe we should leave the window open, just in case."
Max settled in behind Logan and laid her hands on his shoulders, she couldn't help but grin. She'd never seen Logan like that, she couldn't say she liked it, but she knew he was not likely to get drunk again any time soon. That made it pretty enjoyable.
They made it home without incidents, the cool air brought Logan a little closer to reality, but it also made him realize how bad he felt. "God Max, why did you let me drink that much."
"Hey, you are an adult." He didn't answer, at least nothing that made sense.
Carefully Max helped him into his chair, his movements were slow and uncontrolled, like he didn't trust his own body.
He continued to curse himself for having drunken that much and Max couldn't help but laugh. "Come on, you can't change it anymore."
"F***, I know."
He held his head between his hands and didn't even protest when she pushed his chair into the living room.
"I'll be right back and help you with the bed, I'll just take Mark upstairs." Karen cursed just as Logan.
"Thanks." Max turned to face her boyfriend. "You stay right where you are, our bag's still in the car."
"Ok."
When Max returned Logan dozed, still sitting in his chair.
"Good boy."
With Karen's help she prepared the sofa and then sent her away.
"I can handle it, he might prefer to have not too many witnesses."
"Sure, I understand. See you in the morning- or around noon." She grinned after having checked her watch.
"Good night"
"Night."
"OK, come on Eyes only, let's get you into bed." Max easily lifted him from the chair and laid him down. Then a thought crossed her mind. "Logan, wake up. Come on."
When she saw his eyes flutter open she went on. "DO you have to pee before you go to sleep?"
They hadn't really talked about his medical condition, it's been something he'd preferred to deal with alone and she'd respected that, understanding how embarrassing it might be. But she'd been around often enough to know he had to be careful with how much time passed between bathroom visits.
Logan pondered the question, then nodded. "Probably."
"Ok, let's get you up...Damn it, there is no bathroom."
"There is a small restroom I think...ouch, my head."
She lifted him back into his chair. "Can you get me my small black bag please?"
"Sure." Tossing it into his lap she pushed the wheelchair over to the small room.
"Now?"
Logan seemed completely coherent again. "Max. I..."
"I know, but you don't seriously expect me to leave you alone in there like this?" She knelt down in front of him and looked up into his eyes. "No more secrets, ok? I'm totally ok with it, it won't change anything. I love you."
Logan closed his eyes for a moment and she knew he had to get over himself now.
"Ok, please help me over to the toilet."
Task fulfilled, he asked her for his bag and retrieved a catheter from it.
"Max. I can do that alone."
"Ok, but I'm not gonna leave, I don't want you to break your neck." She stabilized his upper body, but turned her back towards him. That seemed ridiculous to her, but if he needed some more time to let her in on the probably most awkward thing in his life, she'd accept.
"Ok, thanks." When she turned to face him he looked like a little lost boy. "You're welcome." She smiled and lifted him back into is chair.
Finally he lay on the sofa and Max undressed his shoes and pants. He didn't even seem to have noticed at all.
"Good night, hon." She gave him a kiss on the forehead and laid down next to him.
++++
They spent the following three hours in the hotel room, watching TV. Finally they saw on the news that those responsible for the chip-scandal were imprisoned.
"Guess we can go home now, huh?" Nic let out a sigh of relief. "How about you two check out and stay with me?"
Max eyed Logan and when she saw him shrug, she wordlessly began to pack. "Thanks. I hate hotels."
The next three days they didn't accomplish much, they visited some places, went to fine restaurants, laughed and talked. In the presence of the two people Logan trusted most, aside from Bling, he opened up a little. He could finally talk aout his feelings and shared some of his nightmares. Max knew the wounds were still deep, and there would be times when he would do worse again, would have to fight his demons again, but for now he gave those wounds a chance to begin a healing process. Max even got the impression that he began to accept his fate. The bitter tone in his voice, whenever it came to his impairment sometimes was missing.
At their last evening together, they sat on the balcony. They'd pulled two mattresses out there and lingered on the floor. Logan had slid out of his wheelchair and had allowed his friends to help him to the furthest end of the balcony, then he had ordered Max to remove the chair so it was nowhere in sight.
"So, what are your plans now?2 Logan caressed Max's arm.
"I really don't know," Nic shrugged. "Maybe I should come to Seattle for a while."
"Yeah, I'd like that. My guestroom's free if you want."
"No, I don't want to bother you two."
"Come on, Logan is right. There is plenty of space."
"Well, maybe that's an idea. At least for a week or two."
"Settled. We're gonna be in England for another week, then you can come whenever you want to."
"Great. I have to move out here first of all. Virginie and her family will move to Toulouse, my Mom is living there anyway. I guess I'll get my stuff down there and stored away."
They spent most of the night talking, until Nic announced he'd try to get some sleep. He and Max warily got up in order to help Logan inside, but he just shook his head.
"Don't do that to me. I nearly forgot about being a crip tonight. I'll stay right where I am." Wordlessly Max went inside and returned with blankets. She liked the idea.
"I'm not gonna be responsible for the cold you are gonna catch."
"Sure, just stay close to keep me warm."
"Had nothing else in mind."
"Ok, see you two in the morning, frozen." Nic yawned and went inside.
"It's already 4 am, I'm not gonna get much sleep I'm afarid."
"Cool, and I have to deal with cranky Logan in the morning then."
"The least I can do is to excuse myself in advance." He pulled her closer and kissed her passionately. "That ok?"
As an answer she kissed him back.
The next morning Nic brought them to the airport and said goodbye. "Count on me, I'll see you two soon. Have fun in England."
A short flight later the couple was greeted by Logan's grandparents. "How was your week? I can tell you we were awfully busy and I hated it."
"Well, we had lots of fun,and apparently not half as much trouble as you." Max laid her hand on Logan's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm really looking forward to being alone with you two. It's just one more day."
"Family's still occupying the house?"
"Yeah, unfortunately."
"Maybe we could stay with Karen for one night. What do you think?"
"I'd prefer to have you with us, but I can see how you don't wanna stay around them. Anna?"
"Sure, but they don't have a spare room on the first floor."
"I can live with the sofa for a night, and Max can sleep upstairs." He knew she'd refuse to leave him alone, esp. Ina place with that many obstacles. But they'd reached the car and Max didn't bother arguing.
Peter and Anna told them about the nightmare week they'd had and Logan mentioned Nic.
"Oh gosh, we haven't seen him in years, why didn't he come?"
"He is about to move, but he will visit Max and me in Seattle soon."
"It's good to know you are still in touch, after all what happened." Peter turned to look at Max. "You know, they were like brothers."
"Really?" Max shot Logan a glance, not really believing why he'd never told her.
"Anyway, have you heard about that computer chips scandal in Paris? Was apparently kinda dirty. We've read that some kind of crusader for justice helped to bring them down. He is said to operate from the States. Do you know Eyes only?"
Max grinned. "Yeah, he's pretty busy over there. A great guy, he dedicated his life to help those in need. Oughtta be very brave. I really admire him."
Logan caught Max's eyes in the rearview mirror and saw the love and pride there.
"Ok, here we are. We'll leave your bags in the trunk and take them to Karen's later, OK?"
Logan saw the twins heading in their direction immediately, he knew that she shouldn't care, but he couldn't help. He didn't want to climb out of the car in front of those teenagers. People who knew what it meant to do simple things without the use of legs or abdominal strength, saw that he was doing just fine. But for people who didn't think about that he had to seem pathetic, and that was something he hated.
Max felt Logan's uneasiness and after setting his chair next to the door she caught the twin's attention by starting to ramble on about fashion in Paris. From what Logan could tell, it was the biggest nonsense he'd ever heard. But that didn't matter. He wasn't in the center of attention.
However, that didn't last long. It had been raining in London, and the place where the car was parked was muddy and wet. Logan didn't notice and wasn't able to avoid his chair from toppling over when he put his weight on one side. On one more humiliating occasion he landed flat on his face.
Before he could even start to collect himself Max was by his side. "Shit. I'M sorry, I should have..."
"Cut it out, Max. I just wasn't careful enough. Dammit! I'm so sick of it!" At first he shoved her away, but finally he realized that it was ok and necessary to accept her help. "Sorry." His voice sounded tired and defeated.
"You're welcome." She gently placed him in his chair and grabbed its back. Logan could feel all the pitiful stares, he thought he even heard them whisper. But he couldn't look at anybody. Grateful that Max had reacted quickly and was now pushing him towards the house, he tried to concentrate on something else.
"Are you OK?" She took him straight to the bathroom. "You stay right where you are, I'll get your bag." To underline her words she set the brakes of his chair.
"Is he alright? Did he get hurt?" Max shook her head.
"No, no big deal. It's not been the first fall he'd taken, believe me. Nothing happened, he is just a little dirty." She didn't want to go into his state of mind, but Anna knew her grandson.
"Every fall his humiliating, huh? And this one especially."
"Yeah." Max grabbed the bag Peter had brought in. "I'll try to talk to him. Don't worry too much. He is gonna be fine. He has to deal with this every day, so it might look worse to you than it really is. Just make sure those girls won't make any stupid remarks."
"He is really lucky to have you." Anna embraced her.
"And so am I."
On her way back Max had to think of a time when he hadn't allowed her to see his weaknesses. One time, when she'd known he'd just climbed back into his chair before she'd entered the room. His legs had still been tangled, but he'd tried to pretend everything was fine. She remembered how rude he'd been about her idea of him joining her at that conference. Why hadn't she realized back then how poorly he adapted to his new life. She'd shoved his reactions off as a short-living depression or bad mood. Now she knew he'd already been despondent and desperate back then.
Her track of thoughts was interrupted when she reached the bathroom. Logan was still sitting like she'd left him, staring straight ahead.
"You OK?"
"Yeah." He looked up at her, trying to smile. "Guess I acted kinda childish."
"It's ok. I'm used to it."
She helped him undress and filled the tub before undressing herself. They acted in silent understanding. She supported him as he slid into the tub, then she sat down on his unfeeling thighs to help him keep his balance.
"You know, it's just every time I think I finally can live a normal," they both had to grin. "life, something like that must happen to show me I can't. I'm so tired of that."
"I know." Max knew there was nothing she could tell that would make him feel better, those were the facts he had to live with. But she hoped her presence and unconditional support could help. "I love you, no matter what."
"I love you, too."
Half an hour later they were both dressed and returned to the kitchen. To Max's relief there only were Logan's grandparents.
"Do you want some pasta? There is a lot left."
Max nodded gratefully. "I'm starving."
"Logan?"
"Sounds great. Thanks."
The incident wasn't mentioned again. His grandparents acknowledged his need to deal with it by himself- and with Max's help.
A few hours later they got ready for the party. Max knew that her boyfriend didn't like the idea, but he'd go there no matter what, knowing how much it meant to Peter and Anna.
This time nobody made stupid comments and it seemed to Max as if Logan didn't care that much. It was nearly dawn when Karen proposed to go home, both Mark and Logan had drunk quite a bit. At first Max was slightly pissed but then decided to look at the fun side: Logan had relaxed, made jokes and seemed to enjoy himself, besides he'd suffer a terrible hangover and she could tease him.
The women tried to convince the guys to leave, and while Karen was having a hard time dragging Mark, Max simply pushed Logan's wheelchair, gripping his arms so he was completely immobile.
"Now I know why you chose Logan, it's a lot easier to make him go where you want." Karen giggled, her light tone indicated that she didn't mean it. Max laughed back. "If he wasn't that drunk I'd not be able to make him do anything against his will. Besides, I'll have more trouble getting him inside the car."
She was right, Logan was no help and in order not to give away her strength she asked Karen for help.
Finally he sat in the passenger seat, mumbling nonsense. "Maybe we should leave the window open, just in case."
Max settled in behind Logan and laid her hands on his shoulders, she couldn't help but grin. She'd never seen Logan like that, she couldn't say she liked it, but she knew he was not likely to get drunk again any time soon. That made it pretty enjoyable.
They made it home without incidents, the cool air brought Logan a little closer to reality, but it also made him realize how bad he felt. "God Max, why did you let me drink that much."
"Hey, you are an adult." He didn't answer, at least nothing that made sense.
Carefully Max helped him into his chair, his movements were slow and uncontrolled, like he didn't trust his own body.
He continued to curse himself for having drunken that much and Max couldn't help but laugh. "Come on, you can't change it anymore."
"F***, I know."
He held his head between his hands and didn't even protest when she pushed his chair into the living room.
"I'll be right back and help you with the bed, I'll just take Mark upstairs." Karen cursed just as Logan.
"Thanks." Max turned to face her boyfriend. "You stay right where you are, our bag's still in the car."
"Ok."
When Max returned Logan dozed, still sitting in his chair.
"Good boy."
With Karen's help she prepared the sofa and then sent her away.
"I can handle it, he might prefer to have not too many witnesses."
"Sure, I understand. See you in the morning- or around noon." She grinned after having checked her watch.
"Good night"
"Night."
"OK, come on Eyes only, let's get you into bed." Max easily lifted him from the chair and laid him down. Then a thought crossed her mind. "Logan, wake up. Come on."
When she saw his eyes flutter open she went on. "DO you have to pee before you go to sleep?"
They hadn't really talked about his medical condition, it's been something he'd preferred to deal with alone and she'd respected that, understanding how embarrassing it might be. But she'd been around often enough to know he had to be careful with how much time passed between bathroom visits.
Logan pondered the question, then nodded. "Probably."
"Ok, let's get you up...Damn it, there is no bathroom."
"There is a small restroom I think...ouch, my head."
She lifted him back into his chair. "Can you get me my small black bag please?"
"Sure." Tossing it into his lap she pushed the wheelchair over to the small room.
"Now?"
Logan seemed completely coherent again. "Max. I..."
"I know, but you don't seriously expect me to leave you alone in there like this?" She knelt down in front of him and looked up into his eyes. "No more secrets, ok? I'm totally ok with it, it won't change anything. I love you."
Logan closed his eyes for a moment and she knew he had to get over himself now.
"Ok, please help me over to the toilet."
Task fulfilled, he asked her for his bag and retrieved a catheter from it.
"Max. I can do that alone."
"Ok, but I'm not gonna leave, I don't want you to break your neck." She stabilized his upper body, but turned her back towards him. That seemed ridiculous to her, but if he needed some more time to let her in on the probably most awkward thing in his life, she'd accept.
"Ok, thanks." When she turned to face him he looked like a little lost boy. "You're welcome." She smiled and lifted him back into is chair.
Finally he lay on the sofa and Max undressed his shoes and pants. He didn't even seem to have noticed at all.
"Good night, hon." She gave him a kiss on the forehead and laid down next to him.
