Disclaimer:: I don't own anything. -.-;; Sadly....

•¤•¤•¤•¤•

Author's Note::

It's taken me a while to write this chapter. I've been at band all week. So....myep. Here it goes.

•¤•¤•¤•¤•

Chapter 14: The Moon

•¤•¤•¤•¤•

"INCOMING MESSAGE FROM....EARTH."

Skoodge raised an eyebrow. Zim? What would Zim be contacting him for? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. While Skoodge was struggling to decide should he take the message or not, Zim's head popped up on his screen.

"Skoodge! Long time right? I need a favor." Zim said, his red eyes glowing.

"Uh, well I -"

"Good, good! I knew I could count on you!" Zim said happily.

"But I -"

"Meet me at Earth's moon, now."

"Zim I -"

"Thanks Skoodge!" And Zim's head faded from the screen.

Skoodge wondered what Zim had in store for him now. Ever since PreSmeechSkool, Zim had Skoodge doing favors for him.

**Flashback**

"Trust me Skoodge. Tak won't know what hit her." Zim said. He was holding a bucket of paint. Red paint.

"W-what am I supposed to do again?" Skoodge stammered.

Zim sighed. "Honestly, Skoodge. I'm going to distract Tak, by being...myself. You come up behind her and dump the paint on her overlarge head! It will be a VICTORY FOR ZIM!" He announced. "Look, she's coming now." He pushed Skoodge behind a desk.

"Move. Now. Before I make you." Tak said quietly.

"Tak! How are you doing this glorious day?" Zim asked loudly.

Tak eyed Zim suspiciously. "You're up to something Zim. I will find out. Then you will pay."

"No. No of course not. What ever makes you think that?"

Skoodge had just now come out of his hiding place holding up the bucket of paint. It was then that Courtney decided to be her shrill, annoying self and hug Zim.

"ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!" Courtney yelled, pushing past Skoodge, who stumbled and the paint splashed on Zim and Skoodge.

"Losers." Tak muttered and wandered off.

Skoodge remembered promptly that he had spent three days with red antennaes.

**End Flashback**

Skoodge had to talk to someone. And he knew just who.

***

"Welcome to Earth's moon Gir!" Zim said.

"YAY! I'm gonna name it MONGOOSE!" Gir cried happily, skipping crater to crater.

"It's already been named Gir. The humans named their moon....Moon. That's idiotic."

"What are we doing on Mongoose?"

"We're waiting for Skoodge."

"Oh."

Zim and Gir waited for an hour. Zim continuously checking his watch, and Gir being....Gir.

"I don't understand what's taking Skoodge so long, he shouldn't have been that far away, he was in this solar system."

"Maybe the monkeys ate him. Or maybe he was attacked by luncheon meats!" Gir exclaimed.

Zim's eyes widened with fear. "Meat? The meat? No! Not Skoodge! He was so young!" Zim starts to panic and run around screaming in little tiny circles.

"ZIM!" A voice called.

Zim paused from his running to look around. There was Skoodge. Looking around anxiously and avoiding Gir. Who was currently trying to hug him.

"Skoodge! You made it! You're late. Must've taken the scenic route, eh?" Zim said goodheartedly.

Skoodge said nothing but continued to look around nervously. "Zim I'm really sorry for what's about to happen and I -"

"What's about to happen Skoodge?" Zim said nervously.

"Hello Zimmy." Two voices said. Voices Zim knew. Voices he recognized instantly.

"Tak? Courtney? What are you doing here? TOGETHER!?" Zim said, fear rising in his voice. 'This is worse than the luncheon meats.' Zim thought.

Tak's antennaes were curlier than usual, purple eyes narrowed with suspicion. Face scrunched up with hatred and a smirk. Tak had "less-than-friendly feelings" for Zim at the moment. And making her work with Courtney was only making her anger worse. She still loved him, but she was really really pissed. (A/N: Whoa, she's scaring me!)

Courtney, on the other hand, looked positively delighted. Amber eyes full of laughter and joy and brightness, she picked up Gir, and gave him a taco. Which didn't help Zim in his dangerous situation.

"Tacoooooooooooos!" Gir cried, happily munching on the meat by-product.

"Zim, I thought you were smarter than this. I mean, of course I knew you planned on running off to think about our, er - current predicament. So I tailed Skoodge. But that bad side of that is, I had to bring the idiot with me." She glanced at Courtney.

"And Zimmy, she was horrible to me. She was mean and yelled, and wouldn't even play Good Charlotte." Courtney pouted.

Tak rolled her eyes."Mimi, capture Gir. Courtney," she paused. "Help me capture Zim and tie him up. Properly now, so he can't get loose."

Mimi, who had been standing inconspicuously behind Gir lept out and bounded Gir to Zim's Voot Cruiser. Gir, however, didn't seem to mind.

"YAY! I'm GOING TO GET LAID! WOO!" Gir yelled.

"Gir! For the love of Irk, defend yourself!" Zim yelled angrily.

"Yes sir." Gir said, turning a bright red. "I loooooove you." He said turning his usual aqua color again.

Zim rolled his eyes. Gir was obviously going to be no help in this situation. He would have to rely on his superior brain meats. As usual.

"What are you up to?" Zim asked. "Is this about the paint?"

"No." Tak snapped. "This is about Gaz. The human girl. You have...affection for her." Tak muttered.

"Yeah. She's not very nice." Courtney piped in.

"WHAT!?!? ZIM HAS NO AFFECTION! HE NEEDS NO WOMAN! HE IS ZIM!"

"I knew the ones who referred to themselves in third person were crazy." Skoodge muttered.

Zim shot a nasty look at Skoodge, who lowered his head.

"Oh yeah?" Tak said acidly. "Well then, I guess you won't mind if we turn her into a giant burrito."

"W-what?" Zim stuttered.

A screen came out of the back of Skoodge's ship showing Gaz in her room playing GS3. Zim couldn't see her face. Dib was seen outside the window, hanging from a tree branch video taping something.

"What are you going to do to her?" Zim asked.

"Nothing. If you move from Earth."

"WHAT?? What about my mission?!?!" He yelled.

Tak sighed. "I already told you. The Tallests are lying to you Zim. They lie. A lot. Especially to you. Because," she paused and took a breath, "THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!"

"YOU LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Zim said. "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

"Oh yeah?" Tak said acidly.

The screen showing Gaz faded and a video transmition of the Tallest came up. Everything became eerily quiet. Skoodge stopped whimpering. Gir stopped yelling about getting laid and waffles. Courtney stopped humming. Tak stopped threating and Zim stopped breathing.

"Tak. We want you to turn Earth into a giant snack container. Me and Purp -" Red was interrupted by a very annoyed Purple.

"That sounds gay Red." Purple snapped.

"FIIIIINE. Me and Purple have decided you can do it. Oh, and kill Zim for us, won't you?" Red said eagerly.

"I'm getting tired of waking up in the middle of the night to see his stupid inventions. I need my beauty sleep you know." Purple added.

"We want to have his head mounted on the Wall of, er -"

"Heads." Purple said.

"We're going to go get burritos....Later!" Red said, signing off.

"Bye!" Purple waved.

The video faded. The silence was deafening. Gir had a tear forming in the corner of his eye and was quietly sobbing for the loss of a buritto that he could have eaten. Courtney was, well standing in shock. Skoodge was shuffling his feet in moon dust. Tak, who looked utterly devastated at showing Zim the video. All heads turned to Zim, who, suprisingly, was cackling.

"Ha. That was the most OBVIOUS fake transmission I've ever seen! And I've seen, lots, for I am Zim." Zim said.

The scowl returned on Tak's face. "Oh yeah? Well, no one can forge the Tallest's handwriting can they?" She thrusted a letter in Zim's face.

(A/N: CAPITALS = Red lowers = Purple)

TAK:: [hey tak]

HOWS OUR SNACK CONTAINER GOING? yeah, i'm hungry! IS ZIM DEAD? PLEASE SAY HE IS! HE JUST SENT US ANOTHER TRANSMISSION ASKING FOR AN ACOMPLICE ON HIS *MISSION*. yeah, we sent him courtney. ya'll were friends remember? ANYWAY....MAKE SURE YOU GET HIS HEAD...WE HAVE TO KEEP IT FOR OUR BRAND NEW WALL OF ...heads. yup. i want his robot. he's cute. SHUT UP. make me. :-P WHATEVER. JUST KILL HIM. yup. i like killing. SHUT UP. make me reddy-poo. GROWL. haha.

RED -.-;;

purple O.O

Zim blinked. Continuously. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ITS A LIE! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"

"Yes, well Zimmy, it doesn't matter if you believe us or not. That's not what we're here for." Courtney said, filing her nails. [If she has them.]

"What are you here for then?" Zim spat.

"To destroy Gaz." Tak said simply.

She pressesd a button on a control pad on her hip, and the screen showing Gaz's head instantly came back up. She was now writing in a book. Zim struggled to read the cover of it, it said "Journal: Touch this Dib and Die A Horrible Death By Spoons."

Tak held up the control pad and pointed to a giant red button. "This button will turn Gaz into a giant burrito. If you don't promise to leave Earth. If you do, we'll leave her alone."

"Although, I don't see why we should threaten her. She isn't a nice person. Not at all. Her brother is friendly though." Courtney said, now taking out a can of Poop Cola, and ignoring Gir's pleas to share.

Zim was thinking. "I can't leave Earth. If I don't destroy it, the Tallest will be very unhappy and -"

"Is that your answer?" Tak asked quietly.

"I CAN'T LEAVE EARTH TAK! YOU KNOW THAT! PLEASE DON'T -"

"Say bye-bye to Gaz, Zim." Tak said acidly.

"Bye! Big-headed-boy's sister!" Gir said happiliy.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim yelled.

Everything happened in slow motion. Zim was screaming still, Gir and Courtney were humming, Skoodge was standing there, and Tak's finger was heading for the big red button. And she hit it.

•¤•¤•¤•¤•

I think thats a very good spot to cut off. Prepare yourselves for an ending that no one is going to expect. Really. But...eh-hem.

[In Dramatic Announcer Voice]

Will Gaz get turned into a giant burrito? What's Dib doing? Why is Skoodge acting like an inanimate object? Will Gir get Poop Cola? Tune in next time!

•¤•¤•¤•¤•