On a tiny island miles off the coast of California lives the brilliant but antisocial scientist, Dr. Hoogerman.  Normally he went to great lengths to keep people off his property, but today was different.  Today his friend Tanya was there and she had brought the Stanley Cup.

After he helped the Ducks defeat Dragunus's energy monster Dr. Hoogerman had returned to his island to continue shunning the human race.  However, he brought along a personal computer.  Tanya convinced him that no angry loner should be without one.  Plus, they could play virtual Go Fish.

So when Tanya emailed him with the news her team had won the Stanley Cup, he invited her to bring it to his island.  Eager to see her friend and intellectual equal again, Tanya was happy to oblige.

"Incredible!  I never thought I'd befriend a star athlete," said Dr. Hoogerman, running his hand along the Cup's rim.  "When I was young people like you beat up people like me."

"Well, here's to peace between our two people," Tanya laughed.  She took a sip of her water and looked around the lab.  "So what have you been up to?"

"I'm glad you asked," Dr. Hoogerman replied.  He strolled over to a large computer, not unlike Drake One.  "My security system has been on the fritz lately.  I've been working on an upgrade and I could use your input.  Here, let me pull up the schematics." 

He pushed a red button on the control panel.  Instantly a trapdoor opened, swallowed the Stanley Cup, and closed again.

"Dr. Hoogerman!" Tanya cried.  "What…"

"Darn!"  Dr. Hoogerman said.  "I thought I fixed all that."

"What are you talking about??"

"I bought this island and the fortress from a fellow scientist who moved his operation overseas.  Strange fellow, can't remember his name at the moment.  He left most of his equipment behind, so I decided to modify it to my needs.  Looks like I still have a few bugs to work out." 

"Never mind that now," Tanya snapped.  "We need to find the Stanley Cup!  How do we get downstairs?"

"Hold on, I have the original blueprints around here somewhere," Dr. Hoogerman replied.  He rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a dusty rolled up piece of paper.  He brought it to a table and unrolled it.

"Let's see," he said, looking it over.  "There's a secret passageway behind the fireplace in the library."

"Great, now I'm in a game of CLUE," Tanya muttered.  "Okay, let's go."

**********

They navigated their way through the many rooms of the fortress until they came to the library.  Moments later they were making their way down a dark and winding staircase, Tanya leading the way using a small flashlight on her omnitool.  After several twists and turns the stairway stopped at a heavy wooden door with the lock and hinges rusted solid.

Tanya pressed another button on her omni tool and a small blowtorch popped out.  "I could use one of those," Dr. Hoogerman marveled as he watched her cut through the aged wood.

Minutes later the door gave way and they stepped into a large chamber.  Discarded lab equipment was scattered everywhere.  The floor was covered in a thick layer of dust.  Blueprints in hand, Dr. Hoogerman walked to the middle of the room and stopped.

"According to this, the trapdoor is right above me."

"So where's the Cup?" Tanya asked.  She looked around.  "Hey, what's that?"  She asked, shining the light at Dr. Hoogerman's feet. 

A wide line carved its way through the dust into a passageway at the far end of the lab.  There were also several footprints.  "It looks like someone dragged the Cup away!"  Tanya cried.

"Impossible!"  Dr. Hoogerman scoffed.  "There's no one on this island but us!  My security system would have detected any intruders, if it was operational."

"This is getting weirder and weirder," Tanya muttered.  "C'mon, let's see where the trail leads."

The passageway led out the back of the castle and into the jungle.  For over an hour they made their way through the dense vegetation, Dr. Hoogerman complaining the entire way.

"Unbelievable, someone living on my island rent-free…I'm going to give them a piece of my mind before I kick them out…the nerve of some people…"

Finally Tanya had enough.  She was about to tell Dr. Hoogerman to can it when she saw a shadowy figure duck behind a tree.

"Wait, what was that?"

"Huh?  I don't see anything," Dr. Hoogerman snapped, quite annoyed that his rant was interrupted.

"I saw something!"  Tanya cried.   "Right behind-"

Suddenly four figures dropped from the trees, surrounding the pair.  They had the build of a human, but the features of a cat, furry, fanged and menacing. 

"Intruders!!"  A tall gray one snarled.  "Come with us!"

"You're calling US INTRUDERS??"  Dr. Hoogerman sputtered.  "Why I…"

"Quiet!"  Tanya hissed.  She turned to the creatures.  "We'll come quietly." 

The gray one nodded and headed into the bush.  Tanya and Dr. Hoogerman followed, the rest of the creatures bringing up the rear.  Before long they arrived at a clearing, and the two friends gasped at what they saw.

Stretched out before them was an entire village of half-human, half-animal creatures.  Each of them stopped whatever they were doing and stared at the two strangers as they were marched into the center of the village.  Tanya looked around in amazement; these creatures were unlike anything she had ever seen on this planet.  She felt strangely comfortable around them; it was nice to see others like her for a change.  She was jolted out of her thoughts by a familiar sight.  Perched atop a large stone altar was the Stanley Cup.

"Dr. Hoogerman, look!"  Tanya cried.  "They have the Stanley Cup!"

"So they're thieves as well as trespassers!"  Dr. Hoogerman said.  He faced their captors.  "That's it!  I demand to speak to your leader!"

"That would be me," a deep voice said.

The crowd parted and a large gorilla emerged.  He was dressed in a simple tunic with a long red sash knotted neatly at his hip.  Despite his fearful appearance, his eyes reflected a deep intelligence that Tanya immediately respected.  She quickly stepped forward before Dr. Hoogerman could begin another tirade.

"My name is Tanya and this is Dr. Hoogerman," she said.  "And may I ask who or what you are?  Are you aliens?"

"We are crimes against nature," the gorilla replied.  "Genetically created by a human who fancied himself our God.  His name was Dr. Moreau!"

"Moreau!"  Dr. Hoogerman cried, snapping his fingers.  "That was the name of the fellow who sold me this island!"

"He treated us like slaves!"  The gorilla snarled.  "It was I who led the rebellion against him.  We fled deep into the jungle and began our own society.  I am their leader...MR. BANANAS!"

"Good for you," said Dr. Hoogerman sarcastically.  "But that doesn't justify breaking into my fortress!!"

"We occasionally return to the place of our birth to search for supplies," Mr. Bananas replied.  "Today our scouting party was there and that dropped from the sky."  He motioned towards the Stanley Cup.  "There was only one thing to do with it."

"Worship it as a gift from the Gods?"  Tanya asked.

Mr. Bananas looked at her like she was crazy.  "No, I declared it first prize in today's Fastball Tournament."

"Fastball?"  Tanya asked.

"Our sport," Mr. Bananas replied.  "Two players hit a ball with a stick, trying to knock it into the other's goal.  The first to score three goals wins." 

Tanya looked over at the Cup again.  It sat in front of a long field.  At the end of each side was a net.  Several creatures were on the field, batting a ball around with a flat stick.

"Now see here," Dr. Hoogerman sputtered, "that trophy belongs to Tanya!  You have no right..."

"The only way she is getting that trophy is to win it!"  Mr. Bananas roared.

"All right!"  Tanya cried.  "I'll enter the tournament!"

**********

The tournament began at high noon.  The entire village lined the sides of the field, their excited cries filling the air.  Dr. Hoogerman sat front row center, a coconut drink in one hand and a hastily made sign that said GO TANYA in the other. 

Tanya's first match was against a hippo.  Despite the similarities to ice hockey, she found it difficult to run instead of skate.  Tanya spent a lot of time on the offensive, trying to stay in the game.  Her mind worked furiously; the hippo was strong and hard to get past, but she was fast and nimble.    The score was 2-1 when the hippo advanced on her, batting the ball back and forth.  She waited until he was practically on top of her, and then ducked.  The Hippo flew over her and landed in the net; the ball, however, stayed with Tanya.  She raced to the other end of the field and hit the ball into the other goal, winning the match.

"All right Tanya!"  Dr.  Hoogerman cried.  "Excellent use of physics!"

As the afternoon progressed, Tanya won again and again, moving up the ranks.  Finally, by defeating a half-man-half owl creature, she advanced to the Championship match.

"My fellow freaks," Mr. Bananas roared across the crowd,  "this is the moment you've all been waiting for!  This match will determine the grand victor and recipient of the Great Sky Trophy!  Now, the opponents.  Introducing the reigning champion, Felonious the Mighty!"

A large gray cat stepped onto the field; it was the same cat that first confronted them in the jungle.  The roar of the crowd was deafening.

"...and the challenger, Tanya the Outsider."  Mr. Bananas said.  Tanya trotted into the field to absolute quiet; Dr. Hoogerman lost his voice from the long day of cheering.  Instead, he smiled and waved.  Tanya managed a weak smile in return; she had never played so hard for so long and she was exhausted.  Plus, she had watched Felonious's last match.  He was fast and aggressive and showed no signs of fatigue.  This would be a difficult match with everything at stake.

Her fears were well founded.  Felonious quickly scooped up the ball at the face-off and dashed down the field, quickly scoring the first goal.  Tanya grabbed the ball and charged towards her opponent.  The two clashed, each furiously trying to claim the ball.  Suddenly Tanya heard a sharp crack, and saw the bottom half of her stick go flying.  Felonious seized the opportunity to body check Tanya, sending her to the ground.  He then took the ball and scored his second goal.

Tanya called a timeout.  She walked to the bench and took a gulp of water.  She looked at the trophy; she was one goal away from losing it.  How could she explain that to the NHL officials or worse yet, her teammates?  She looked over at Felonious; he was staring at her with a hungry look in his eyes.  She'd seen that look before on the dinosaurs Dragaunus set loose in Anaheim.  She was now feeling the same sick fear she felt then. 

"Get a grip, Tanya," she told herself.  "You're not just a hockey player, you're a Mighty Duck!!  You can do this!"  With Grim determination she seized a new hockey stick and marched back onto the field.

Felonious sneered at her as they faced off.  But that look quickly turned to surprise as Tanya barreled into him, stealing the ball and scoring a goal.  Tanya was elated but she knew she wouldn't get away with that again.  Felonious snorted and took the ball.  Tanya braced herself as he charged.  Suddenly he slapped the ball with all his might; it sailed over Tanya's head towards the goal.  It hit the ground and rolled, stopping mere inches from the goal.  Tanya and Felonious raced neck and neck towards the ball.  Their sticks hit the ball at the same time, sending it out of bounds.  As the ref kicked it back into play, Tanya could feel her foot catch on something; before she knew it she was crashing to the ground.  Picking her head up from the dirt, she saw Felonious recover the ball and spin around to face her.  Her computer-like brain worked furiously as he prepared to smack the ball.  As she calculated the final trajectory, he swung.  Lunging forward, her elbow connected with the ball, sending it sailing across the field and into her opponent's goal.

The crowd exploded in cheers; she was winning them over.  The anxiety she felt over the possibility of losing the Cup was replaced with the heart pounding adrenalin that came with playing a great game.  The ref signaled her to come to the center of the field for the final face-off.  The crowd fell into a dead silence as Tanya and Felonious stared deep into each other with the intensity of two warriors.  The ref dropped the ball, and the two hockey sticks crashed together, the sound echoing like lightning across the island.

*********

"Well, Tanya, I believe you are the only hockey player in history to win the Stanley Cup twice in one season," Dr. Hoogerman said as he watched Tanya load the trophy into her motorboat.

"It was no big thing," Tanya replied.  "I'm glad you and the tribe reached an agreement that will let you share the island."

"Yes, it was a great learning experience," Dr. Hoogerman replied.  "It is possible for different people to live in peace, as long as we each stay on our side and avoid each other at all costs."

"I'll see you soon, Doctor," Tanya said, starting the engine.  Neither of them was aware of the two figures watching them from high atop a rocky cliff.

"I still can't believe I lost to that outsider!"  Felonious growled.

"She won fair and square," Mr. Bananas replied.  "You fought well, Felonious. You should be proud."

"There's no prize for second place," Felonious grumbled.

"That is why Tanya triumphed.  Her passion for the game, not the desire to win a trophy, is what led her to victory.  We could all learn a lesson from such a great warrior."  Mr. Bananas said as he watched the boat disappear over the horizon, back towards civilization.

*****

We're in the home stretch!  How will Duke spend his day with the Cup.  Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!!