The Journal November 30th - December 6th

By RoseRed

Review Me.

November 30th, 2004

Well, Journal, how have you been? Life here is still going at their normal dull pace. I swear, nothing new or noteworthy happens to me here. It all happens to Potter and his 'brats.' Fearing Father's wrath, I have gone to each and every one of my classes. Does Father not realize how meaningless and trivial some of it is! I wish Mother had not insisted that I go to Hogwarts. When Father had wanted me to go to Durmstrang, it was the one time I had ever agreed with him! Malfoy's should go to better schools then this. Alas, this WAS where the 'great' Voldemort had gone to school. I suppose you wonder how I can speak so horribly against him and not fear the consequences. Well, I do fear them. I just don't care. If he were to kill me now, I wouldn't have to go on and kill innocents. To bad I'm a Malfoy. I really could have done great things with myself. I mean, I've the brains, looks, charms and many other things that come with being a pureblood Malfoy. The only thing I don't like about my body is it's resemblance to Father.

I recieved word from Father yesterday of Voldemort's plans. They both wish that I would join sooner then graduation. Why they don't just force me, I've no idea. Voldemort grows stronger each and every day. Soon, he will try again for Potter. I actually find myself feeling bad for the little whelp. I wouldn't want to be on the recieving end of whatever Voldemort is planning on doing to him. If only I could tell him. That would be the ultimate revenge against my father, but it would also result in my demise. That is the ultimate question in my life now : Save myself and become a Death Eater, or save Potter and die. I suppose saving him now would just mean he would die later. Damn.

D.M.

December 1st, 2004

Today, Journal, is my birthday. It passed with little incident. I received gifts from both my parents. From my mother, a small diamond ring. It was a clear diamond set in gray stone, the band was gold. No doubt, it had cost more then the Weasleys' make in a year. Mother was always trying to make me more feminine. She had wanted a girl instead of a copy of her husband.

From Father I received a most disturbing gift. Proof that he will probably be going back on his word to let me finish school. It was an amulet of solid gold. Inside, it looked like what could only be blood. Surrounding the liqued was the Malfoy crest. I had little doubt of whose blood the gift was made of. When a Death Eater's son was to follow in his footsteps, he was given an amulet filled with his father's blood. Why, I don't really no. It was supposed to be good luck. I fear that soon I will receive word from Father that I am to leave Hogwarts and join forces with them. He knows that I would hate that more then death itself.

I decided that I had no choice but to warn Potter of his imminent demise. I approached him as he was heading to potions. The conversation was, as I figured it would be, quite unnerving. I approached him saying that I had to talk to him alone. He manged to get his friends to leave for a little while. I led him to a passageway that only Slytherins knew about, and told him everything. At first, I don't think he belived me, but slowly his face turned to understanding. In his heart he knew that I didn't want to become my father. He knew what few people know. That only other is Father. He knows that I do not want to become him, but he would rather kill me himself that let me disgrace the Malfoy name.

If indeed Father is reading this journal, I may be dead soon. I have no idea, but I think if I'm to die, I'll sit by the lake for a little while longer.

D.M.

December 2nd, 2004

I must try my best to remain calm. If I become excited, it will only be worse for me. I write this entry by candlelight. It may be my last. I sit now in one of Voldemort's dungeons. He allowed me to keep my journal, I think out of some perverse pleasure of knowing my last thoughts before I lose my soul. Father had been reading my journal, and so had Voldemort. It was in his insistance that Father give me the enchanted journal. I know I shouldn't have written about Potter, but I wanted some record that I was not a heartless Death Eater.

When I went to the lake, yesterday, I was alone for maybe ten minutes before I felt myself being rushed to some unknown place. I don't really know how I arrived here, just know what is to come. I am to be made a Death Eater like my father. My education will be continued. Education, ha! More like learning every single dark spell there is.

I hear footsteps, they are coming for me. I see them now. I see the dark hoods, I wonder which one is my Father.

D.M.