A/N - Soooo sorry I have not updated in a long time. I was celebrating my parole and spring break with a 2-week trip to Italy and Greece. @_@ Wow. I loooove the Mediterranean! So here is the next, long-awaited, (yeah right) chapter of 99 Miniature Nazgul. Please read and review. If you do, you get a double scoop gelato sent to you (your choice of flavour).
Disclaimer - I own nothing except my pictures of Italy and Greece, which, actually, in some parts DOES look an awful lot like Middle-Earth... Anyways, I really do own nothing. Not even my readers' loyalty anymore.
A/N - Yes, gelatos are VERY addictive and delicious. I am in withdrawal after eating at least one nearly every day for two weeks. I would have gained weight had we not been walking pretty much all day too. And yes, I AM sinking to bribery and shameless self-promotion. Hey, it works for other people...
Chapter 5 - Owh, Give Me Ah Howme, Whayre The Buhfahlow Roawm...
"...Whayre the deeee-ear and the aaan-tell-ope plaaaaay -" sang Nazgul #20.
"SHUT UP!" yelled the other 70 remaining Nazgul.
"Yeesh," muttered #20. "Some people have no appreciation for music."
"Some people don't call that music!" shot back an unidentified voice from the throng of Nazgul.
"Hmph," snorted #20, but he subsided into silence. (At last!)
The Nazgul were desperately trying to relieve the tedium of the forced march to Rohan, to get far away from the city of Minas Tirith. It wasn't working too well. The little terrors remembered all too well the horror of the city, and the whole incident threw a cloak of gloom over the procession.
Of course, none of them had expected retrieving Sauron's Ring to be easy, but who knew it would be this bad?
"Whayre saldom is hurd, a dis-cor-aygin' wuuuurd -" began #20 again, but very, very quietly. "And the skiiiiyes are nowt clouwdee awll daaaaaaay -"
"Rohan! Rohan straight ahead!" called out #67 happily.
#20 shut up.
"Yay! Rohan!" cheered the little Nazgul happily.
"Ok," #99 said authoritively, "This means some of us must go north to stop the one who has the Ring, and the others must stay here and persuade Saruman to help."
"Twenty to Sixty-nine, you guys head north. The rest of you, follow me!" said #98.
"Hey! Who put you in charge?" howled #99.
"Who died and made you king?" challenged #98.
"All RIGHT, that's ENOUGH!" bellowed #46. "None of us are leaders! We're a democracy!*"
"What's that?"
"Every one has an opinion and a vote that matters," explained #23, a rather scholarly Nazgul, "as opposed to totalitarianism, or a monarchy, or even, I suppose, a monopoly, though technically monopolies are altogether different structures of reign than that of totalitarianism or a monarchy -"
"Huh?" Every other Nazgul was extremely confused.
"Never mind," sulked #23. "My efforts to enlighten others in their ignorance are vain and worthless. I will not impede your headlong progress with strategy and knowledge."
"Huh?"
"It's like he's speaking Elvish," # 24 confided in a stage whisper to #64.
"You're all a bunch of morons! Is that clear enough for your thick minds to comprehend?"
"Yep!" Every black-cowled head nodded vigourously.
"Good! Now stay out of my way!" #23 stalked off.
"What's a moron?" #64 asked #76.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!" screamed #23, throwing a spontaneous temper tantrum.
Slowly, the other Nazgul backed away in horror. When they were a good distance away, they turned and fled as one.
Fled across the plains of Rohan, straight towards the court of Edoras.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N - Ok, that wasn't nice, picking on the one almost intelligent Nazgul. But I had to get rid of him! He just showed up. I think that the Nazgul are much cuter when they're stupid. But if you don't agree, review or e-mail me (remember, you'll get a gelato) and I'll have #23 catch up in a later chapter, just in time to horrify Elrond. |-]
(Why is it so fun to bug Elrond? He's my fave to pick on, plague with hobbits, Balrogs, etc. Is there a deep, psychological reason for this? Or is it just because I can't take the movie version Elrond seriously because of his freaky eyebrows? I mean, he's saying these very serious things and his eyebrows are hopping around. I keep thinking he's gonna take off one day.)
*This is the first recorded example of a democracy in Middle-Earthian times. There were others later, of course, but none had quite the same motives or quantity as did the Democracy of the Nazgul.
