Time to Shop

~*~*~*~

"Okay, we need to make a list on what we need."

"A list, Tsuzuki? We don't NEED one. Just get some diapers and bottles and whatever else it is that keeps children quiet."

"But we also need stuff in here. You know, FOOD for us."

"Tsuzuki, we don't HAVE TIME for that. Mika! Do NOT touch that!"

"Don't yell at her."

"She's going to break it. At least the other one's sleeping."

"Do you have pickles?"

"What?"

"Do you have pickles or do you need some?"

"That's sick!"

"What are you-God Hisoka! Not THOSE kinds of pickles! I'm talking about the kinds you put in your mouth-OH GOD THAT SOUNDED WRONG!"

"Tsuzuki!"

"You put the thought in my head!"

"…Wait, why are you asking me if I have PICKLES?"

"They taste good."

"Stop."

"Hisoka, it's not MY fault you think that way."

"No, I don't have any pickle-MIKA! STOP THAT!"

"…Okay…Diapers. Hisoka, check what size Nujitsu wears?"

"Why?"

"Hisoka, just DO it."

"…There's nothing that indicates the size."

"There should be a number."

"Well there isn't one, Tsuzuki."

"There has to be one!"

"They don't make diapers like they used to in YOUR day, old man!"

"That's how they make them today! And what DIAPERS? We used cloth and washed it ourselves!"

"That's sick."

"It's true."

"There is no number on it."

"Yes there is!"

"You look for it then!"

"You're scaring Mika."

"I don't care. There is NO number."

"Fine, fine. We'll just estimate the number. Okay, bottles. Does Mika drink from a bottle? Mika, do you drink from a bottle?"

"…"

"What did she say?"

"I think it was a 'no'."

"Are you sure."

"Tsuzuki, I'm sure."

"If you say so. Let me just add some more things."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Okay! We're ready to go!"

"Have fun."

"What?"

"You're going alone."

"Hisoka, you have to come with me. I don't trust you being alone with the kids."

"I'm not going to hurt them."

"No. I'm thinking they'll hurt you. You're a child yourself."

"I'm technically 22, Tsuzuki."

"You don't act that way."

"You want to quarrel with me?!"

"No need to get upset."

"…"

"Come on, Mika! Take my hand. Good girl. Hisoka, you take Nujitsu."

"I don't want to."

"Hisoka…"

"Oh FINE! I'm coming…."

"…"

"…"

"All right. Do you have the car keys?"

"What car keys? Let's just teleport ourselves there."

"We can't do that among humans, Hisoka."

"Sure we can."

"…Where are the keys?"

"In the house."

"…Okay, well, get them."

"You have the house keys."

"You have them."

"…No, I don't."

"Well, I don't have them…"

"…"

"…oops."

"Tsuzuki! Why did you leave BOTH keys there?!"

"I thought you were going to get them."

"GOD!"

"Just kidding."

"What?"

"I was joking."

"…I hate you."

~*~*~*~

"Hisoka…."

"Why do I have to get out?"

"One of us needs to watch the kids while the other gets the supplies."

"No."

"Hisoka, get OUT of the car NOW!"

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Yes I can! I'm older than you! You should respect your elders!"

"You're no elder. You're an old fart."

"You're acting immature."

"No, I'm not."

"Get out the car before I make you."

"All talk. Blah blah blah."

"*groan* HISOKA!"

"Give me one good reason I should…"

"We won't go on that vacation."

"…"

"I'll just tell Tatsumi we can't accept it. You KNOW how much he wants us to go."

"Oh fine. I'm getting out."

~*~*~*~

"Okay, what do we need?"

"I'm looking for the damn list, Tsuzuki. Stop rushing me."

"It's just that Mika's getting fussy. And don't swear around them."

"Push her around in the cart for crying out loud!"

"No need to yell."

"Where's the damn list?!"

"Stop swearing. I put it in the bag."

"What BAG?"

"The bag in the cart! Don't tell me you lost the list!"

"ME?! You're the one who wanted to make it! And you're the one who put it away!"

"Here…Oh wait. It's in my pocket."

"…"

"Okay, diapers."

"Diapers, here. Okay, let's go."

"Hisoka! That's for toddlers. Nujitsu is only a baby."

"He'll grown into them."

"Get those one over there."

"Oh fine here."

"Baby formula."

"…Which kind?"

"What do you mean 'which kind'?"

"Tsuzuki…There are TONS of formulas. With fruits. Plain, and what the HELL is a picture of a RABBIT on one of them?"

"Get whatever."

"Uh….This one."

"…"

"What?"

"Hisoka, that's lube."

"No, it's not."

"LOOK AT IT!"

"Let me see that-WHAT?!"

"Getting horny?"

"NO! They shouldn't mix those types of things with baby products!"

"Mika, please sit down. Hisoka, how can you not know what it is? Read the label!"

"Look! There, I switched them. Happy?!"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you WANTED to put that in the cart."

"Shut up."

"Baby toys! We forgot baby toys!"

"What for? Just give the kids some yarn balls and they'll entertain themselves. You know, play 'Hang Man' or something."

"That's horrible!"

"Okay here."

"…"

"What now?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"No what is it? You're making a fuss out of it so spill it."

"Nothing."

"Fine!"

"My goodness he has a temper."

~*~*~*~

"Why can't we have coffee?"

"That crap is expensive, Tsuzuki. Tea's better for you anyway."

"I want coffee."

"Hey! This is my money we're spending!"

"But Hisokaaaa."

"Be quiet! What do we need now?"

"…Milk."

"Okay."

"…"

"What?"

"I don't drink 2% milk."

"What are you talking about? Milk is MILK."

"But…"

"You have your own milk at your place! Stop nagging me!"

"But I'm staying over for a while!"

"What?! Says who!"

"Tatsumi!"

"I never heard news of this!"

"I forgot to tell you last night."

"Tsuzuki!"

"What!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Where's my apology?"

"I'm sorry, dear."

"I'm not your wife. Don't call me that."

"You should be, pumpkin fuzzywuzzy love. That would be so cute."

"…What else do we need? TSUZUKI! DO NOT TOUCH THE MILK!"

"…."

"…"

"Cereal."

"What? I have cereal."

"It tastes like something that came out of a dog's ass."

"What? That's sick! No it doesn't! And that about not swearing? HYPOCRITE!"

"Yes it does. We need something…sweet!"

"No. I like healthy cereal."

"No wonder you're so cranky! You need sugar."

"Take your damn cereal. Here."

"I don't like Lucky Charms. I want Frosted Flakes."

"…There."

"I want the one that comes with a gift."

"There."

"…"

"What's wrong?"

"That one's cheaper than that box."

"Well, duh, Tsuzuki."

"If it's cheaper, it tastes like cum or something."

"Tsuzuki! Are you saying you've TASTED that before!"

"No! Er…not exactly…"

"Oh god!"

"It was a dream, okay?! I could taste it!"

"…Who's was it?"

"What?"

"I want to know who it belonged to."

"What! No! You'll hate me!"

"Tsuzuki!"

"No!"

"Tell me!"

"NO!"

"TSUZUKI!"

"You! I'm sorry! It was you!"

"Oh…my…"

"You wanted to know! I'm sorry!"

"Oh that is sick! Wait…Are you saying I taste BAD?!"

"WAH! YOU HIT ME!"

"Shut up."

"It wasn't my fault!"

"…"

"…"

"…You've got your cereal. We're done with this aisle. Come on or you'll get lost."

~*~*~*~

"Well, at least let's get some sweets! Apple pie!"

"I only buy healthy things I said."

"We got your milk didn't we?"

"…It's my money."

"…"

"Tsuzuki! GET BACK HERE! DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE THE MILK! TSUZUKI GET BACK HERE!"

~*~*~*~

"That was mean, Hisoka."

"Yeah well not only do we keep the milk, you don't get any sweets."

"What?!"

"Be quiet. You're going to wake up our kids."

"…Did you just say 'our' kids?"

"…No."

"You did!"

"I didn't!"

"YOU DID!"

"We need bread."

"Changing the subject, eh? Uh…Here."

"That's Hawaiian bread."

"…Yeah?"

"You can't make sandwiches with HAWAIIAN bread. Get wheat."

"I hate wheat."

"I don't care, Tsuzuki."

"Let's just go home. We got what we needed."

"Oh no! You dragged me here to get the things we needed and I'm not leaving until I get EVERYTHING!"

"…Then get some ice cream."

"I have some at home."

"Those are POPSICLES. And they're FRUIT! At least have chocolate ones!"

"Tsuzuki, don't start with me!"

"Fine! What about spaghetti?"

"I don't eat spaghetti. I like pasta."

"Spaghetti IS pasta."

"We're not getting spaghetti."

"Spaghetti is pure genius! How could you not like it? EVERYONE love spaghetti! Same goes for pizza!"

"No pizza."

"What? Why not?"

"You got your damn diapers."

"But those aren't for me."

"I could have sworn they were."

"…Should we get a pack of condoms?"

"What?!"

"I was just asking."

~*~*~*~

"Tsuzuki?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you find the fruits I asked for?"

"Um…Apples, lemons, and bananas, right?"

"Tomatoes?"

"Those are vegetables!"

"No they're not. They're fruit."

"No they're not! They're VEGETABLES! V-E-G-E-T-….uh…wait give me a second…A-B-L-E-S!"

"…"

"If I'm lying, let God strike me down!"

"…"

"…HA!"

"That was pathetic."

"Says the kid that claims tomatoes are a fruit."

"THEY ARE DAMMIT!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

"…"

"…"

"Tsuzuki, I thought I told you to get LEMONS. These are limes. And these are regular sized bananas! I want the small ones!"

"But it's a better deal!"

"I want the small ones!"

"…But that's the size of Nujitsu's Wonder Winky."

"Excuse me?"

"You know? His twig….his….Little sword. You know, his peni…"

"I KNOW what you meant. And that's just sick! You need some therapy."

"I do? You're the one buying CANNED corn."

"Don't you dare tell me how to shop, Tsuzuki!"

"Someone should! Look at you!"

"What? I'm FINE!"

"I mean, these bananas are bigger than whatever package you have down there."

"…"

"…"

"…I don't have to listen to this."

"Hisoka? Oh for Christ's sake! I'm sorry, Hisoka! I didn't mean it! Hisoka?…HISOKA!"

~*~*~*~

"…"

"I really am sorry."

"…Tsuzuki…"

"Yeah?"

"…Where's Mika?"

"Oh my god!"

"What? What is it?"

"Do…Don't worry."

"Don't worry?! Tsuzuki, we're responsible for her! I told you this wasn't a good idea…!"

" She woke up after hearing our er…argument…"

"…You never listen to me!"

…and she wanted to read…"

"You're still not listening to me! Tsuzuki!"

"Aha! I put her in the children's section to read. Come on!"

"Wait up!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…She's not here."

"Uh…."

"TSUZUKI! YOU LOST HER?!"

"No!"

"Oh shit."

"Look! There!"

"Thank god!"

"Mika! Mi-….Hisoka…"

"….I know…."

"Mika, give me that book. That's not for little girls and boys."

"How did she get that book?"

"Mika, give it to me. Mik-wait! No! Don't run! Oh shit!"

"Some mother you turned out to be."

"Oh be quiet. HEY! WAIT! MIKA DON'T! AAH!!"

~*~*~*~

"What about this one? Mika, stay seated!"

"Whatever."

"Hisoka, put down that magazine."

"I'm bored."

"Why don't you get the ham and cheese?"

"Of fine."

"…And a box of tampons."

"WHAT?!"

"You're PMSing aren't you?"

"Ha ha. You're a regular, Tsuzuki."

"You almost laughed!"

"I'm leaving."

"…"

"Here you go."

"…Hisoka. That's not REAL cheese."

"It's healthy."

"It's got nothing in it! Here…It says…0 calories? But look at how much salt it contains!"

"Tsuzuki, I'm not here to argue with you."

"You need to expand your varieties in food items. If not, your body will start eating itself up because it's not getting the nutrients it needs."

"…You've been watching too many American shows."

"Hisoka!"

"…Why do those women keep staring at us?"

"They probably think we're a family."

"…I hate my life."

"I love you."

"Idiot."

~*~*~*~

"…"

"…Okay, how about whoever can guess the price of that coffee can gets to decide if we get sweets or not."

"…Fine by me."

"Okay! Yeah! You're so going down, Hisoka!"

"Down where? Hell? Been there done that."

"….Err…"

"…."

"I say it's…$2.95."

"It's $5.99."

"All right. Mika, what are the numbers on that…"

"…"

"…"

"…I win."

"What?! Are you sure? Give me that, Mika. $5.99?! How did you know! And that's so expensive!"

"First off, I told you coffee was expensive. Second, the price is in those black letters on that yellow slip under the merchandise."

"What? AH! I DIDN'T SEE IT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"No sweets."

"Hisokaaaaaa…."

"Your eyesight has gotten the best of you, old man."

"Don't be crude."

"Never said I wasn't."

"I love you."

"Go away."

"I love you a lot."

"Okay."

"I love you so much."

"All right, Tsuzuki."

"I looooooooovvvvveeee yoooooouuuuu!"

"STOP! PEOPLE ARE STARING!"

"I love love love love love you you you you you!"

"STOP IT, TSUZUKI!"

"*singing to the tune of Jingle Bells* Ooh, dashing through missions. With my cutey pie! Despite him being cold, he's loveable inside…!"

"TSUZUKI!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU?! STOP!!!"

"Join me Mika! That's a girl!"

"…."

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to look at the lobsters in the tank. Hopefully with luck, I'll drown in that tank."

"…I think he's serious."

~*~*~*~

"I'm sorry."

"You already told me that."

"I know."

"You're acting unusually…perverted."

"I am not perverted!"

"Then stop acting that way."

"…Do you love me?"

"I need shampoo."

"Oooh, I get to know what shampoo you like to buy! Your hair always smells good."

"You know, I think you're just obsessing over me."

"It's love, Hisoka!"

"Love? There's no such thing."

"You're just upset because no one has ever shown you true love. I on the other hand want to show it to you."

"That's fine. I see it everyday when Watari makes eyes at Tatsumi."

"He does?"

"…"

"Oooh! I knew it! Thanks for confirming my thoughts!"

"…Dammit."

"So, let's get that shampoo. Where is it?"

"…Uh…It's on the very top."

"You're kidding."

"No."

"…I can't reach it. Give me a boost."

"You give me a boost! You way 50 times as much with all that junk you eat!"

"…Fine. Here. Step onto my hands."

"Okay…ugh."

"Get it?"

"I'm trying-HEY!"

"What?"

"Did you…"

"Did I what…?"

"You groped me!"

"What?! No, I didn't! I swear! My hands are holding you up!"

"You're lying! You BIT me then!"

"Why would I bite your ass?"

"Tsuzuki! I'm serious!"

"So am I! You're just imaging it."

"How could I imagine-whoa!"

"Hisoka!"

"Tsuzuki! WHOA! OH GOD-AAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Oooh…Did I break your spine?"

"No, I'm fine."

"I'll have to try harder next time."

"…Ooh, crap, that hurt."

"Mika, it's rude to laugh."

"Did you get your shampoo?"

"Yeah."

"Let me see! …Herbal Essence? You like THIS one?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's provocative."

"Oh don't start with me again."

"Do you have the URGE?"

"I'm not putting up with this."

"Hahaha. Sorry, it's FUNNY."

"No, it's not."

"…Yes, it is."

"…Shut up."

"Kiss me and I will."

"NO!"

"Then I won't be quiet."

"You're so persistent! GOD! I wish you would just leap off a cliff!"

"I would leap off of a Lover's Leap and fall in love!"

"Gah! Stop that!"

"I was just playing. You know it's so cute when you…"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Hey look what Mika found! Stickers!"

"Tsuzuki! A child shouldn't be reading these!"

"Ahahaha. Listen to this one: 'Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.'"

"Honestly…"

"Oh! We should get you this one, Hisoka!"

"Weren't you the one who said no swearing in front of the kids?"

"Read! Read!"

"Fine. 'I have friends…you…just can't see them'. Oh, SO funny. Should I save some laughter for later?"

"No, now's good."

"…You're an idiot."

"God, I love you."

"AAH!! SHUT UP!"

"Don't run, Hisoka! After him, Mika! Come back, love! Hahahaha!"

~*~*~*~

"Hisokaaaa?"

"…"

"Oh! There you are! We've been looking all over for you! What are you doing in such a dark corner?"

"Why are you blushing?"

"…"

"Where you masterba…"

"NO!"

"….You're panting."

"…"

"Hisoka…."

"…Some guy mistook me as his girlfriend."

"…Excuse me?"

"You heard me. He thought I was his girlfriend and tried to take me home. He's still looking for me. I just ran off because I could not convince him I wasn't her."

"….You should have let him grope you. Then he would have known."

"…"

"..heh…"

"Don't you dare…"

"…"

"TSUZUKI! DON'T!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Stop laughing at me!"

"Oh! I should tell him you're my girlfriend!"

"…Let's just…go."

"It's kind of funny how Nujitsu hasn't woken up yet."

"Maybe he's dead."

"HISOKA!"

"You have a SHEET over his face."

"No! It's just preventing the light from entering his little…baby…seat thing."

"Ch' here…."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Tsuzuki…"

"…What?"

"This is a doll."

"A doll of Nujitsu?"

"NO! THIS ISN'T NUJITSU! IT'S A DOLL! WHERE IS HE?!"

"What?! Impossible! I would have known if he had gotten out!"

"Oh my god…Split up! You take Mika!"

"What? YOU take her!"

"Too late. I'm running!"

"HEY!….Damn."

~*~*~*~

"Have you found him, yet, Tsuzuki?"

"No…not yet…"

"Huh?"

"Mika's trying to tell you something."

"I know, Hisoka. What is it, Mika?"

"Oh…NO! LOOK!"

"What-AAH!! NO! NUJITSU!"

"He's going to drop all those cans! NO! NUJITSU STOP!"

"AH! PLEASE STOP! COME HERE, NUJITSU! COME HE-STOP!!"

"Go after him!"

"I'M GOING! YOU GO THAT WAY AND TRY TO CUT HIM OFF!"

"All this commotion over a baby!"

"Hisoka!"

"I'm running already!"

"AH! NUJITSU! COME HERE, BOY! NUJITSU!!!"

"HE'S-NO! HEY! STOP! STOP!! OH CHRIST!"

"Hisoka!"

"I got him!"

"Hisoka, look out!"

"What?"

"Hisoka! BEHIND YOU!"

"What are you-Oh…no…."

"HISOKA!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

~*~*~*~

"…"

"…Oh god, are you sure you're all right?"

"…I want to go home."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. They're making me pay for the damage!"

"Getting hit by all those boxes and cans must have hurt."

"I want to drink tea, read a book, and sleep."

"Want a kiss?"

"No."

"Here."

"Why are you touching me?"

"You should enjoy my hugs! Right, Mika?"

"…"

"Want a kiss?"

"Don't push your luck."

"Then I'm the luckiest man alive…"

"No pun intended?"

"Perhaps."

"I don't understand why I decided to accept you as my partner. Here put this in the trunk."

"Okay. You truly love me inside, is all."

"Hate is love."

"Are you implying hate is the opposite of love?"

"No. That's apathy."

"Hate."

"Idiot. Apathy means lacking emotion basically or not caring. Love is a tender emotion of affection toward a person that sparks your attention due to the quality in another's character and behavior. When hating, you are still feeling an emotion like love."

"…Uh…"

"Okay, let's try this another way. You know what a coin looks like? The quarter?"

"Um…I think so. The head and tails?"

"Yes. Imagine the head side representing love while the tails is the darker side of love, which is hate. They are the one. Apathy is the complete opposite of love."

"Oooohh. Well…I love you for sure!"

"You're impossible to deal with."

"Does this mean you'll move in with me?"

"I like my home."

"You can hold this if you want, Mika. Your home is too plain. Here, put Nujitsu in, Hisoka. I'll drive."

"You drove last time! Let me drive!"

"…No."

"Tsuzuki!"

"I'm driving."

"…"

"You got the keys?"

"No."

"…"

"I know you're joking."

"I'm not."

"…"

"Where are you going now?"

"I'm walking home."

"Hey! You can't do that! It's a long walk! And there are too many humans to just fly your way there!"

"I'll hitchhike if I have to."

"Wait!"

"What?"

"…I was joking."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"It's not like we lost the kids at least…"

"…"

"…No."

"…"

"You didn't."

"Er…"

"Where is she, Tsuzuki?! She was just here!"

"I'm sorry!"

"…Oh shit, shit!"

"Calm down. She's in the car. See? Look. Got you again!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh and by the way, I switched the milk while you were being molested by that guy who thought you were his girlfriend."

"…"

"…?"

"…"

"Hisoka?"

"…"

"…Hello?"

"…"

"Hisoka? Are you oka…Hisoka?"

"Mika, get out of the car and hold your brother. Thank you."

"?"

"…"

"H…Hisoka? What are…HEY! STOP!"

"…"

"HISOKA! I'M SORRY! HEY! OUCH! HISOKA! NO!"

"GET BACK HERE AND DIE!!!"

"AAAH!! HISOKAAAAA!!"

"YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN ELDER!! RUNNING FROM A CHILD?! HA! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU ASATO TSUZUKI! YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU DRANK 2% MILK FROM THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!"

~*~end chapter~*~

A/N: Sorry about the bit of OOC if there was some ^^; And also, to push myself on all my fics I've decided, the MORE reviews I get the FASTER I will post the next chapter. I think this will help me a lot to make sure I make time to write the fics! ^_^ Thanks soooo much for the awesome reviews!

ra-chan: I'm glad you were laughing! Thanks for the review! I will continue soon with every review I get! Thanks a bunch! ^.^

Ruby_Tears: lol I'll have to say the erection joke was also one of my favorites ^_^ Thank you for your review! So happy you loved it!

Rinoa Redcloak: Already interesting? Why thanks! ^.^ Makes a girl happy to read such sweet reviews! Now it's my turn to review one of yours!!! Lol Did you get that email from Elf? XD

Akane: Wai! So glad to hear from you again!! ^_^ Everything going well? T_T I'm hoping so much to get this doujinshi to you ASAP!!! I promise it! ! ^_^ Thanks again!!

Elf Asato: Hello there! ^_^ Wakaba-chan, yes, yes. All her doing! Haha! So happy I got to read Hisoka Doll and Idiot's Anonymous ^.^ Thank you for everything SO much!! Chijou! O_o; XD

sissy & kody: You guys are awesome! I love reading your reviews so much! ^_^ Don't stop! You guys are da best! XD

Yami no Tenshi: ^.^ I hope to read more reviews from you in the future! Thankies for the nice comments ^__^ Don't we all just love Tsuzuki?

pan-chan: You like my style? REALLY? ^.^ Yay! *hugs* Thank you!!!!

Jes-Pai-Tha: Yes! Havoc everywhere! I must agree I do think them having some type of child is cute ^__^ Thanks for the review!! Loved it!

Ita-chan: Well, since you seem to want more, MORE CHAPTERS WILL COME THEN! ^_^ You're such a great reviewer! I love your reviews so much! Thank you thank you!! You're so wonderful!!! *gives you Tsuzuki plushie* ^____^

Yume Maxwell-Yuy: Oh hi! I've seen you review so much of my work! You're such a sweet person! ^_^ I'm so happy that you enjoy my work! VERY pleased to hear it! ^_^ I like your work too!! Have I reviewed any of it? o_o; If not, I swear I will! ^_^ Right now in fact!! *hugs*

Fiona: ^_^ Mika is such a troublemaker! Thanks for the review! Makes me want to just keep on writing so much more! I'm glad you enjoyed this!! More will be heading your way! So watch out for them! ^____^

I think it's time I responded to every reviewer for their great comments ^__^ I love ya all so much!!