Prue's Secret
Chapter 4 "Reliving"
When Prue woke up the next morning she was still on the couch with Piper curled up, asleep next to her. Prue remembered the events of the night before and shook her head wondering how she was ever going to look Jack in the eyes again, she was sure he'd want an explanation and she knew she couldn't…wouldn't give him one. She could barely explain it to herself compared to someone else she didn't even know that well. But the more Prue thought about it, she realized that she needed to explain it, to tell someone. Maybe it would make her feel better and at least it would release her from the hell of having to relive it on her own.
Prue sat up ad looked down at Piper, watched her sleep. After a few minutes Piper opened her eyes as well and yawned, "Morning Prue" she said, sitting up too. "Morning" Prue replied, and started to say something else but paused again; she so much wanted to tell Piper what happen to her, have someone else understand. But a part of her just couldn't. Prue couldn't imagine telling Piper, making her have to hear about what Prue went though, Piper didn't deserve to carry that kind of burden.
"What are you thinking about?" Piper asked quietly, snapping Prue out of her thoughts. "Nothing" Prue replied quickly. "You can tell me" Piper said softly. Prue's eyes filled with tears but she blinked them back "I wish I could" she replied sadly. "You can" Piper said "Prue, you'll feel better if you tell me" Prue looked up, her watery blue eyes meeting Piper's soft brown ones, "Piper, I want to, I do, but I just…can't" Prue told her honestly. She sighed defeated when she saw only confusion in Piper's eyes, I knew she wouldn't understand, Prue thought sadly, but then, how could she? She's never been though something like this.
Prue stood up, "I'm going to go for a drive" she said, grabbing her purse off the floor from where she dropped it the night before and walked out the door before Piper could say another word. Piper just stared after her silently, wishing she'd just open up and talk to her.
This time when Prue got in the car, she didn't have to wonder where she should go, she knew exactly where she needed to go; she and Andy's swing. Prue walked along the path in the park and paused when she saw the swing, she hadn't been here since Andy had died, and, Prue realized, this is the first time I've ever been here without him. A single tear rolled down Prue's cheek and she sat down on the swing, "Andy" She said aloud shaking her head, "You really ruined my life and yet I still love you" Prue closed her eyes as she realized it really was true. Whatever hell he had put her though 10 years ago, she still loved him; she loved him then and she still did. "I never stopped loving you Andy" Prue whispered, and for the first time since his death she wished things turned out differently, that he was still alive. It doesn't matter what he did, Prue realized, I still miss him. And she cried, for the first time, over his death.
"Prue" she heard her name being whispered and opened her eyes again, seeing Piper standing in front of her, looking more concerned than ever. Prue slid over on the swing to make room for Piper and smiled at her thinly, "Hey" she said. Piper smiled back and sat down, "Hey" They were both silent a moment, then Prue looked over at Piper, "I still love him" she said, then asked "Is that wrong?" "I don't know" Piper said honestly, "I guess not, you did date him for a long time after he…did what he did to you" Piper told her. "It's okay Piper, you can say it; he raped me" Prue said, her tone flat and emotionless. Piper just nodded, and again they were silent.
"Tell me" Piper urged her again, knowing that it would be much easier for Prue to work past this if she would finally talk about it. "Okay" Prue said, her resolve not to tell Piper dissolving and she slumped defeatedly in the swing, "Okay" she repeated. "We were 17, Andy and I had been dating for three months and in another month we'd be graduating from high school. He picked me up at the manor for a date, something…something told me I shouldn't go, that something wasn't right with him that night, but of course I ignored it, oh God I wish I hadn't"
*~*~*Flashback*~*~*
"Hey Andy" I said opening the door. He ginned at me "Hey yourself beautiful" he answered, "Are you ready to go?" "Yeah" I replied, blushing at his earlier compliment and saying goodbye to Grams before I followed Andy to his car. "You didn't really care that much about the movie we were going to see, did you?" he asks me, a mischievous glint shining in his brown eyes. "Not really" I reply, "Why, what did you have planed?" I ask, wondering what Andy looked so happy about. "Thought we could have a picnic in the woods" he replied and I smiled; that sounds so romantic. "That's perfect" I reply, kissing him as he pulls into the camp grounds. "That's not the best part" Andy says, "Look in the picnic basket" "Okay" I answered, pulling it up to the front seat and opening it as Andy parked the car under a cluster of trees.
I picnic basket was almost empty except for two sandwiches and a full bottle of vodka. I pull it out and raise an eyebrow, looking at Andy. "Surprise" He says kissing me, "I took it from my parents liquor cabinet" "How classy" I comment sarcastically putting it back in the basket and crossing m arms, "Andy, if you wanted to just get drunk you should have called one of your dumb jock friends, I was expecting a date" I reply. He rolls his eyes and opens the bottle taking a drink and then handing it to me, "Chill out, Prue. We'll still have fun" I consider this and then nod and take the bottle, taking a drink as well. We start to kiss and soon the picnic is completely forgotten as we make out in Andy's car, stopping every few minutes to drink.
"Andy" I slur his name and giggle, I've never had this much to drink before. "Hmm?' Andy asked, kissing my neck. "Can you believe we're going to graduate in two months?" "Nope" Andy replies, unclasping my bra and trying to pull my shirt off. "Hey" I say, pushing it back down. "What?" he asks innocently. "I don't want you feeling me up in your car, anyone could just drive by and see us" I reply, hiccup and giggle again. "Relax, were in the woods, no ones going to see us" Andy replies, kissing me and crawling on top of me. The weight of him on me makes me lay down and I drop the now empty bottle of vodka. "What are you doing?" I ask, as Andy stats to pull my jeans off. "What do you think I'm doing?" he answers with a laugh. "Hey, wait a minute" I say, trying to sit up, "But we're never done that before, and I don't want my first time to be in a car" I answer. "Shh" Andy replies, pushing me back down and kissing me, while he pulls my pants the rest of the way off. I break the kiss and shake my head, "No Andy" I tell him, trying to shove him off of me, when he doesn't budge I repeat, "No". "Hush Prue it won't take that long" Andy says kissing me again. "No, Andy stop it" I snap, stating to get pissed at he's not listening. "Damnit Prue, shut up. I do everything for you, just to this one thing for me, okay?" Andy asks. "Okay" I whisper, trying to convince myself that he's right, but the weight of him of top of me and the rough way he's puling my clothes off scares me and I try to stop him again. "No! Wait, I changed my mind. Andy stop" I almost beg the last part and gasp as pain shoots though my abdomen. I fall silent then, and tears stream out of my eyes, both from pain and fear. My mind is still screaming for him to stop, to get off of me, but I can't seem to make my mouth work, so I just look away and wait for it to be over. I think about my sisters, about Grams, about anything that will keep my mind off of what's happening to me. And soon it's over; Andy rolls off of me and sits up, kissing me again. "I love you Prue Halliwell" he whispers into the dark. I smile and wipe the tears from my eyes; Andy has never told me he loved me before. "I-I love you too, Andy" I answer, my voice still shaky from unshed tears and I sit up slowly, wincing in pain.
I pull my clothes back on and wonder what exactly happen to me, the first word that flies though my mind is rape, but I convince myself that it couldn't be, Andy said he loved me. And if he loved me he wouldn't rape me. The thought comforts me and I push away the rational part of my mind that tells me otherwise, sinking into a deep denial that would follow me for the next ten years.
Andy drives me home and drops me off. It was past my curfew, so I had to sneak back in the house so I wouldn't wake up Grams. I lay awake in bed that night realizing nothing would never be the same again, but in a way it was, I got up and went to school the next day, went to cheerleading and Andy drove me home, just like the day before. After school that day was the only time Andy ever spoke of what he did to me. "I'm sorry" he started off by saying, "I guess I really wasn't myself last night. I had way too much to drink and took things way to far" Andy said and then turned to look at me, "Are you mad at me?" he asked. "No" I replied honestly, and I really wasn't I was still reeling from what happened, I hadn't had time to be mad yet. "Okay, good" Andy said kissing me, "But promise me you won't tell anyone?" Andy asked, "Since there's really nothing to tell anyway" "O-Okay" I agreed uncertainty. "Good" Andy replied, "Love you, Prue."
*~*~*End of Flashback*~*~*
Prue shook her head, tears streaming down her face, "That bastard" she said through her sobs, "He used me. He couldn't have loved me, if he did, he would have never…never…" Prue trailed off and started to sob again. Piper hugged her tightly and hoped that this would help Prue be able to move on; she didn't deserve to have to deal with this anymore. She never deserved it in the first place. And Piper was still amazed that Prue had just dealt with it so much on her own, that she just got up and went to school the next day, without telling anyone, ever. Piper realized then that Prue was a much stronger person that she ever thought her to be and that she could only be strong for so long before breaking. "Shh Prue" Piper whispered, rocking her back and forth "Shh honey, its okay, it's over now"
