Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters from the show. Erm. so don't sue.

Spoilers: None

Author's Note: Please review. Thanks to all of you have already- you make me hyper and giddy! YAY!

Also, I have no idea about exact law n stuff, especially American law coz I'm English. sorry for any mistake.

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Chapter 3

It had been a hard day at work. A drive by shooting in which four children were killed had finally closed. It had been a hard case, they always were with children, but he had just wrapped it up in court and now he had a new case to work on.

Grissom went to put the key in the lock but noticed the door was open and the wail of his baby daughter penetrating the air as a greeting home. On his way to calm Jessica he was distracted by what he saw in the living room.

His CSI training automatically kicked in. Blood. Lots of blood. Knife, next to the body. The body.

Grissom dropped all the paperwork in his hands and abandoned rule one of being a CSI: preserve the scene. He ran over to his wife's body and knelt down by her side. Bleary eyes looked up at him, filled with fear.

"Jess." she whispered through pained breaths, each one getting weaker and weaker.

Grissom pulled her close and placed his hand over the large stab wound in her lower chest but it was bleeding profusely. He pulled his cell out of his pocket and dialled for the police and an ambulance.

But he knew it was too late.

That was how the police found him - knelt on the floor rocking the now corpse of his dead wife muttering inaudible and indistinct words, covered in glistening deep red blood whilst a baby cried incessantly from another room.

Grissom woke up, sweat poring down his face, body shaking uncontrollably. He sat up in bed and held up his hands. In the silvery moonlight coming through his window he could tell they were free of blood but he could vividly remember the rich, warm liquid dripping from his hands. No matter how hard he tried to wash his hands of the past they still followed him like a shadow- only his memories didn't blend into the background when the light fades away.

+++

Catherine slowly approached Grissom. He was leaning on the railings watching the children in the park.

"Hey."

Grissom merely glanced at Catherine then returned his attention to the small children.

"Is this the time and the place?" she questioned softly.

"What?"

"Before, you said it wasn't really the time or the place. Is this it?"

"I don't think there will ever be a right time," he said cryptically.

"When I was married to Eddie, I came to you. Every time I got a beating you helped me through. I turned to you when I needed someone to help me. Its now my turn to be here for you."

Grissom kept silent but she could tell it had some impact on him.

"I told you all my secrets. Now you tell me yours. Stop prolonging the inevitable. You told me that."

After a slight pause Grissom turned slightly to Catherine.

"Catherine. Have you ever loved someone so much that it felt like an obsession? Have you ever struggled to make it through the day just because you couldn't wait to see their smile? Smell their skin. Hear their voice. Have you ever had that person taken away from you?"

His voice was so full of raw emotion Catherine felt herself cower away from his piercing stare.

"Have you?" he whispered fiercely. "I have. I walked into my house to the sound of Jessica crying. I was going to see what was wrong when I saw a smashed ornament on the floor in the living room. Then I saw Helena lying on the floor. I had to watch her die in my arms; nothing would stop the bleeding."

"She was still alive?"

"They must have timed it like that. Must have known when my shift ended."

"Timed it like that. What, you think they were. watching you?"

"Probably. I couldn't live with the fear that they were watching my daughter. When Helena was. was murdered I left. The people who did it were convicted but they were part of a gang and they were still a threat to me. And to Jessica. That's why she was put up for adoption. To keep her safe." He laughed humourlessly, making Catherine shiver. "Then I came to Las Vegas. A place full of people wanting to accomplish their dreams and fulfil their fantasies; a place where I wouldn't stand out and could start a new life. I've spent fifteen years trying to distance my self from people because I was scared I was going to hurt them too."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"Because you deserve to know. Because I trust you with all my heart and soul. Because I'm sick of lying to you. Because I love you."

"Gil."

"I've only loved two women in my life. I'm not about to lose the second."

Catherine gracefully slid onto the park bench despite her shock. She glanced at Grissom. He was sat down, calmness emanating from his body, except from the expectancy and anticipation that flitted across his features. Catherine smiled bleakly to herself; she was the only one that could detect the opinions and emotions he was trying to hide. Except that. Even she didn't expect Grissom to be so open and sincere, let alone admit his true feelings.

"Grissom. I feel like everything over the past fifteen years was a lie. How can I look to the future, our future, when I can't even understand the past? "

"Catherine," he said desperately. "My friendship with you was not a lie. Its what's kept me going. I don't think I would have made it through the past fifteen years if you weren't part of them. Thank God you were."

Slowly, she looked up at Grissom who was still watching her intently.

'"Fools" said I "You do not know.

Silence like a cancer grows.'"

Catherine's lips curled up at the sides at the look of pure shock on Grissom's face.

"You sign?" he responded. Catherine could see he obviously wasn't expecting that.

"Of course. I took lessons when I figured you were going deaf."

"Oh. Okay." He really was astounded. She was always an exceptional CSI, sometimes too observant for her own good. "Nice quote. 'Sound of Silence'. Very apt" he added.

After a brief pause she raised her hands. Grissom could tears forming in her eyes as she looked at him.

"Gil. I love you too."

A cloak of tranquillity descending on the pair. Catherine felt like her heart was beating a rapid drum roll in her chest. Even she hadn't expected to say that. But it was true. She loved him and that wasn't going to change, but she still felt awkward. She placed her hands over Grissom's, who gave an affectionate squeeze in return.

"What are you going to tell them at work? They have a right to know something at least."

"I'm going to tell them that she is my daughter. I suppose they will have to see the case file. Everything else is irrelevant."

"We'll find them Gil."

"I know," he sighed, still clasping Catherine's hand. "I know."

+++

Grissom sat down next to the table and slowly pulled back the white cloth.

"You look just like your mother, Jess," he said softly as he ran his down her cold face.

"But she has your eyes." Doctor Robbins appeared out of the darkness and stood beside Grissom. "You can't say goodbye in a morgue, Gil."

"It's not a good bye. It feels more like a hello. I haven't seen her since she was a baby. I've spent every day for the past fifteen years telling my self it was for the best, that I did the right thing." He swallowed and shook his head. "I didn't. I didn't do the right thing. Every time I looked at her she reminded me of Helena- of what I couldn't have. I honestly thought that it would be safer if she wasn't around me, was away from danger. Turns out I was wrong."

"You say these things like it was your fault? You know it wasn't."

"I felt like it was. There was a gang. One of the member's sons was part of a drive by shooting; they killed four innocent children. I was the one that convicted him. The father. he killed Helena the day of the trial when he found out the verdict was guilty and his son was going to prison."

"Eye for an eye?"

"And now child for a child."

TBC

Go on. review. and what will happen in the investigation - will his team ever trust him again - and how do Grissom and Cath make it through the turmoil of the next few weeks. review. :-)

The more reviews I get the quicker I'll update. might still be a while- prefect interviews, GNVQ Science and IT exams and English media essays and lots of other exams... help. I can't wait until the holiday.

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