My Yesterdays
Title: My Yesterdays
Author name: SenzuBean
Author email: Jennapril22@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: General
Rating: PG13 for a couple curse words
Summary: Ginny reflects on her love for Harry and where it led her through her life
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: I haven't updated.. Can't say I haven't written. I'm just too lazy to type it up. I read this at the dead of the night, which is where I build my inspiration, but not good for when school starts, that's not till a couple weeks, and even then I still wouldn't care.
I can look back and I always wonder if life would be so perfect if I didn't have you in it.
Every itching moment of embarrassment, every little time I caught his eye, and found my chapped lips, as well as my heart, curling into a deep broad smile. I knew the moment I would love someone like him the moment I had laid my cinnamon, preteen eyes on him. Everything about him proved to be something you couldn't assume, but had todiscover, and it was even more than anyone would expect to find in a person.
Mmmm.. My first year.. I defended him in front of the notorious, insufferable Draco Malfoy. I ended up leaving with my head down in shame after he retorted, "Look Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend." Would Harry see through me, just like Malfoy did? I hope not.. I truly felt I would never be nothing more than his best mate's younger sister.. nothing more than a minor damsel in the heroic tale of his life .. Yet like I said before.. you should never assume when dealing with The Boy Who Lived. He saved my life.. He had bothered to give a damn about another minor damsel.. And I feel in love with his courage, and goodness.
While I was only twelve.. I stayed clear of him what would he think of me if I got into more peril? No.. I couldn't stand to be thought of as air-headed, clumsy, danger-prone youngster that would always "be in the way."
At last, I reached my first year as an official teen, unlucky thirteen. 'Round Christmas time, I had resolved not to fall in the horrid position of a hormonal teenager, bitching at the fact I was just a back-up plan because he was rejected by the Siren of Ravenclaw. Wow. Harsh of me, much? Maybe, maybe not, but you would be too if the love of your life was mooning over someone who wasn't you. Obviously, my plan wasn't working.
Finally, I had found someone who tickled my fancy. I was free of Harry's spell. I was no longer the worshipping fangirl, who would drop everything just to answer his call. I even tried to console him, and help him out with her, but deep down I felt a great pang of jealousy. But wait. With a brother like Ron Weasley, and a really close friend like Hermione Granger, it wasn't very easy to forget how much Harry meant to me. Sure Michael had the looks, he was funny, and smart enough to feed me the intellectual, and flirtatious conversations I secretly rehearsed in my sleep with Harry. But it seemed men have metal plates in their heads. Holding out their pride over their heads, Michael was a sulky git after Gryffindor had beaten Ravenclaw. Ditching him was easy, though I must say it did kind of sting to see him chase after Cho, who I know very well as the Ravenclaw drama princess. Ehhh. what was the world coming to?
Finally for a summer, then a year, and another summer, I had matured due to lots of thought process, and my fate. I made too big a deal of someone I didn't know very well.. Blast it all ! I spent those years getting to know him. It stung as much to hear him call me a "friend." I did have some fun, and rather serious relationships, but nothing compared to the fantasies I'd dream about Harry. Nothing bad. As desperate as I was I had my priorities..
My sixth, Harry being ready to leave, I was determined to tell him how I felt. It would be my last chance, and if I didn't take it I would have nothing to do, but look back at a great path of solemn regret.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was a gorgeous autumn, Saturday, afternoon. Hermione helped me a great deal in "volunteering" to help Ron with History of Magic homework. I had "found" him under a tree looking out at the lake as though expecting something.
I strolled over to and took up a patch of grass next to him. My hand layed on the ground somewhere next to his.. The heat at the small distance between his and mine was intoxicating. We talked. Talked about what you may ask ? The weather, Quidditch, how Fred and George's shop was going, and about a million more subjects were covered, and they would probably be remembered if I wasn't so nervous about what I had to do.
"God, Harry. Aren't you excited ? Final year" I managed to breathe out.
"I guess.. I mean I'm really going to miss Hogwarts. Hogwarts built the foundation of what we are.. and what we will be.. My life was practically created here... Well, the significant part. Ha" Harry said, grinning a bit. My heart softened and I think he thought that I would laugh. But I didn't. The Dursley's weren't great people, but at least it molded Harry not to be a spoiled, selfish git like Malfoy. And I told him so.
As I started speaking, I was surprised to see his grin grow into a smile.
"You seem to have put a lot of thought into who I am", in a tone that I didn't recognize. Whether it was the soft chills I got from these strange soft tones, or the definite laughter, I was really hard to make out what message he was trying to send. If he was trying to send one at all that it.
"Well, you know, so does everyone, and you know why shouldn't they?"
His right eyebrow rose slightly.
"Reporters and all, trying to raise havoc, or praise you .. and .."
". and . "
He had said "and" as a statement, not as a question or interrogation, so I wasn't sure how to respond. I took it upon myself to take a leaf out of Cho Chang's book, I quickly caught him in a tight embrace, and I whispered in his ear, "I really like you."
And to my surprise as well as my delight, he kissed me gently and I found myself where I had long dreamed to be.
In my ear, he whispered, "I have a secret." Without waiting for me to respond, he confessed that he knew what I was going to do, and was disappointed I didn't sooner. Reading my facial expressions, he filled teasingly in, "Didn't it ever occur to you if I wouldn't ask why Hermione wouldn't offer to help me too? And you know very well, Hermione can't lie." Despite how much I was ready to murder Hermione, that instant everything was perfect in my eyes.
But everyone knows something so perfect was never meant to last.
We dated seriously, and intimately until he graduated.. From then on it was on and off. We married four years after I graduated Hogwarts, Harry, an Auror, and me, reporter of the Daily Prophet. I became Virginia Marie Potter. We became Mr. and Mrs. Harry James Potter.
For one long year I was able to consider my life perfect, and me truly happy until that one winter day that ruined everything.
I was on the Hogwarts grounds, ending my interviews from a few students about Academic Honors, and Quidditch triumphs.
Not wanting to go back to my stuffy office, I was ready to face sweet memories and cold rather than put up with conceited, annoying teenage interns. Holding onto the sweet moment of when Harry and I first kissed, I was distracted when I saw red and green sparks and heard muffled shouting.
".destroyed everything I've given a damn about, you've taken away my chance to truly live-"
"You've never lived, you were just an obstacle in my way for me to live !"
"I won't let you dismantle another life. I won't let you. Everything you've done to killing my parents. Terrorizing Muggleborns, mind you, your own fucking kind, down to shit like. Possessing. Ginny. I. Will. NOT. LET. YOU. SURVIVE."
I wasn't focused on what Voldemort was replying. I only watched as Harry Potter. my Harry Potter whipped out his wand, but if I had looked closer I would've seen The Dark Lord have done the same.
They both shouted at the top of their lungs "Avada Kedavra !" And then they both fell. I was ten feet at witness, and I ran over to see Voldemort's scarlet slits incinerate and watch him become nothing more than cloak and ash.
In a manner of seconds, my eyes shifted to Harry's body, which was actually still alive ..
Why hadn't they just died ? Why was God dangling the only thing I was dedicated to right above me, knowing so damn well I couldn't jump high enough to reach it ? Why ? Why ? Why ?
"WHYYY ?" I managed to cry.
I squeezed Harry's wrists as if the harder I squeeze his soul, his life, his ghost wouldn't be able to escape into the barrier between life and death. Blood and dirt had patterned his face, while the scar glowed a bright shade of purple.
I looked into his eyes. I didn't know what to do. He was still alive, and I didn't know what to say.
He lifted his hand and managed to get it all the way to my cheek, and he whispered breathlessly, "Don't forget to live. Never forget to love. Breathe a new air. It's all over. Always remember me, Gin." I knew he meant that the hell and havoc from Voldemort was over. Yet, didn't those two words end most relationships ? It's over. It's over. Those to words rang over and over and over. Always remember me, Gin. How could I ever forget? My love and mind would be stuck on Harry James Potter forever.
The purple glowing of his scar faded, and with that so did Harry.
Though my reaction was delayed I still had one. I cried. I cried that hard, hurting kind of cry where every sob you let out grows louder, and every breath you let out it gets harder to breathe. And it doesn't stop until you realize what's done is done. I would've rather had Harry seen elegant tears slowly, and silently roll down from my face as if I was acting, yet as I look back it's better that I let him know how I truly felt before he died I stayed there, whispering about how it would never be over, until someone, I think Hagrid found me. Boundary close to tears as well, Hagrid grunted. "Dumbledore," Leaving me to assume he was going to get him. My last minutes alone with his body, I held grasped his left hand, while I lay on the ground, my body next to his. With my free hand, stroking the hair out of his eyes, and then leaving it sprawled across his chest, I closed my eyes.
Through the soft rustling of the tree branches, and the eerie singing of the wind, I knew that it wasn't over. And Harry's life in heaven above was just beginning.
My love for Harry would live on through my life, and it would still linger throughout the softest memories of my yesterdays.
A/n: Wow, I actually cried while writing this.. I'm still a little teary typing it up. Anyone like it? Please review. Maybe I'll do a funeral chapter, Ginny gives a speech? Let me know. Please be constructive, I'm rather proud of this. Thanks to all who read ! Later days
Lady Jenn of Ravenclaw
Author name: SenzuBean
Author email: Jennapril22@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: General
Rating: PG13 for a couple curse words
Summary: Ginny reflects on her love for Harry and where it led her through her life
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author notes: I haven't updated.. Can't say I haven't written. I'm just too lazy to type it up. I read this at the dead of the night, which is where I build my inspiration, but not good for when school starts, that's not till a couple weeks, and even then I still wouldn't care.
I can look back and I always wonder if life would be so perfect if I didn't have you in it.
Every itching moment of embarrassment, every little time I caught his eye, and found my chapped lips, as well as my heart, curling into a deep broad smile. I knew the moment I would love someone like him the moment I had laid my cinnamon, preteen eyes on him. Everything about him proved to be something you couldn't assume, but had todiscover, and it was even more than anyone would expect to find in a person.
Mmmm.. My first year.. I defended him in front of the notorious, insufferable Draco Malfoy. I ended up leaving with my head down in shame after he retorted, "Look Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend." Would Harry see through me, just like Malfoy did? I hope not.. I truly felt I would never be nothing more than his best mate's younger sister.. nothing more than a minor damsel in the heroic tale of his life .. Yet like I said before.. you should never assume when dealing with The Boy Who Lived. He saved my life.. He had bothered to give a damn about another minor damsel.. And I feel in love with his courage, and goodness.
While I was only twelve.. I stayed clear of him what would he think of me if I got into more peril? No.. I couldn't stand to be thought of as air-headed, clumsy, danger-prone youngster that would always "be in the way."
At last, I reached my first year as an official teen, unlucky thirteen. 'Round Christmas time, I had resolved not to fall in the horrid position of a hormonal teenager, bitching at the fact I was just a back-up plan because he was rejected by the Siren of Ravenclaw. Wow. Harsh of me, much? Maybe, maybe not, but you would be too if the love of your life was mooning over someone who wasn't you. Obviously, my plan wasn't working.
Finally, I had found someone who tickled my fancy. I was free of Harry's spell. I was no longer the worshipping fangirl, who would drop everything just to answer his call. I even tried to console him, and help him out with her, but deep down I felt a great pang of jealousy. But wait. With a brother like Ron Weasley, and a really close friend like Hermione Granger, it wasn't very easy to forget how much Harry meant to me. Sure Michael had the looks, he was funny, and smart enough to feed me the intellectual, and flirtatious conversations I secretly rehearsed in my sleep with Harry. But it seemed men have metal plates in their heads. Holding out their pride over their heads, Michael was a sulky git after Gryffindor had beaten Ravenclaw. Ditching him was easy, though I must say it did kind of sting to see him chase after Cho, who I know very well as the Ravenclaw drama princess. Ehhh. what was the world coming to?
Finally for a summer, then a year, and another summer, I had matured due to lots of thought process, and my fate. I made too big a deal of someone I didn't know very well.. Blast it all ! I spent those years getting to know him. It stung as much to hear him call me a "friend." I did have some fun, and rather serious relationships, but nothing compared to the fantasies I'd dream about Harry. Nothing bad. As desperate as I was I had my priorities..
My sixth, Harry being ready to leave, I was determined to tell him how I felt. It would be my last chance, and if I didn't take it I would have nothing to do, but look back at a great path of solemn regret.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was a gorgeous autumn, Saturday, afternoon. Hermione helped me a great deal in "volunteering" to help Ron with History of Magic homework. I had "found" him under a tree looking out at the lake as though expecting something.
I strolled over to and took up a patch of grass next to him. My hand layed on the ground somewhere next to his.. The heat at the small distance between his and mine was intoxicating. We talked. Talked about what you may ask ? The weather, Quidditch, how Fred and George's shop was going, and about a million more subjects were covered, and they would probably be remembered if I wasn't so nervous about what I had to do.
"God, Harry. Aren't you excited ? Final year" I managed to breathe out.
"I guess.. I mean I'm really going to miss Hogwarts. Hogwarts built the foundation of what we are.. and what we will be.. My life was practically created here... Well, the significant part. Ha" Harry said, grinning a bit. My heart softened and I think he thought that I would laugh. But I didn't. The Dursley's weren't great people, but at least it molded Harry not to be a spoiled, selfish git like Malfoy. And I told him so.
As I started speaking, I was surprised to see his grin grow into a smile.
"You seem to have put a lot of thought into who I am", in a tone that I didn't recognize. Whether it was the soft chills I got from these strange soft tones, or the definite laughter, I was really hard to make out what message he was trying to send. If he was trying to send one at all that it.
"Well, you know, so does everyone, and you know why shouldn't they?"
His right eyebrow rose slightly.
"Reporters and all, trying to raise havoc, or praise you .. and .."
". and . "
He had said "and" as a statement, not as a question or interrogation, so I wasn't sure how to respond. I took it upon myself to take a leaf out of Cho Chang's book, I quickly caught him in a tight embrace, and I whispered in his ear, "I really like you."
And to my surprise as well as my delight, he kissed me gently and I found myself where I had long dreamed to be.
In my ear, he whispered, "I have a secret." Without waiting for me to respond, he confessed that he knew what I was going to do, and was disappointed I didn't sooner. Reading my facial expressions, he filled teasingly in, "Didn't it ever occur to you if I wouldn't ask why Hermione wouldn't offer to help me too? And you know very well, Hermione can't lie." Despite how much I was ready to murder Hermione, that instant everything was perfect in my eyes.
But everyone knows something so perfect was never meant to last.
We dated seriously, and intimately until he graduated.. From then on it was on and off. We married four years after I graduated Hogwarts, Harry, an Auror, and me, reporter of the Daily Prophet. I became Virginia Marie Potter. We became Mr. and Mrs. Harry James Potter.
For one long year I was able to consider my life perfect, and me truly happy until that one winter day that ruined everything.
I was on the Hogwarts grounds, ending my interviews from a few students about Academic Honors, and Quidditch triumphs.
Not wanting to go back to my stuffy office, I was ready to face sweet memories and cold rather than put up with conceited, annoying teenage interns. Holding onto the sweet moment of when Harry and I first kissed, I was distracted when I saw red and green sparks and heard muffled shouting.
".destroyed everything I've given a damn about, you've taken away my chance to truly live-"
"You've never lived, you were just an obstacle in my way for me to live !"
"I won't let you dismantle another life. I won't let you. Everything you've done to killing my parents. Terrorizing Muggleborns, mind you, your own fucking kind, down to shit like. Possessing. Ginny. I. Will. NOT. LET. YOU. SURVIVE."
I wasn't focused on what Voldemort was replying. I only watched as Harry Potter. my Harry Potter whipped out his wand, but if I had looked closer I would've seen The Dark Lord have done the same.
They both shouted at the top of their lungs "Avada Kedavra !" And then they both fell. I was ten feet at witness, and I ran over to see Voldemort's scarlet slits incinerate and watch him become nothing more than cloak and ash.
In a manner of seconds, my eyes shifted to Harry's body, which was actually still alive ..
Why hadn't they just died ? Why was God dangling the only thing I was dedicated to right above me, knowing so damn well I couldn't jump high enough to reach it ? Why ? Why ? Why ?
"WHYYY ?" I managed to cry.
I squeezed Harry's wrists as if the harder I squeeze his soul, his life, his ghost wouldn't be able to escape into the barrier between life and death. Blood and dirt had patterned his face, while the scar glowed a bright shade of purple.
I looked into his eyes. I didn't know what to do. He was still alive, and I didn't know what to say.
He lifted his hand and managed to get it all the way to my cheek, and he whispered breathlessly, "Don't forget to live. Never forget to love. Breathe a new air. It's all over. Always remember me, Gin." I knew he meant that the hell and havoc from Voldemort was over. Yet, didn't those two words end most relationships ? It's over. It's over. Those to words rang over and over and over. Always remember me, Gin. How could I ever forget? My love and mind would be stuck on Harry James Potter forever.
The purple glowing of his scar faded, and with that so did Harry.
Though my reaction was delayed I still had one. I cried. I cried that hard, hurting kind of cry where every sob you let out grows louder, and every breath you let out it gets harder to breathe. And it doesn't stop until you realize what's done is done. I would've rather had Harry seen elegant tears slowly, and silently roll down from my face as if I was acting, yet as I look back it's better that I let him know how I truly felt before he died I stayed there, whispering about how it would never be over, until someone, I think Hagrid found me. Boundary close to tears as well, Hagrid grunted. "Dumbledore," Leaving me to assume he was going to get him. My last minutes alone with his body, I held grasped his left hand, while I lay on the ground, my body next to his. With my free hand, stroking the hair out of his eyes, and then leaving it sprawled across his chest, I closed my eyes.
Through the soft rustling of the tree branches, and the eerie singing of the wind, I knew that it wasn't over. And Harry's life in heaven above was just beginning.
My love for Harry would live on through my life, and it would still linger throughout the softest memories of my yesterdays.
A/n: Wow, I actually cried while writing this.. I'm still a little teary typing it up. Anyone like it? Please review. Maybe I'll do a funeral chapter, Ginny gives a speech? Let me know. Please be constructive, I'm rather proud of this. Thanks to all who read ! Later days
Lady Jenn of Ravenclaw
