A/N: Yeah, I know, I'm a loser and I haven't written this forever. I'm sorry, I just lose my inspiration sometimes. The good thing is, though, that I know pretty much all what's basically going to happen in the story. Now, the hard part, writing it. Hope this chapter doesn't suck. I don't want the story to seem like it's moving too fast, but then again, I don't want to have a whole bunch of boring chapters about nothing, either, so we'll see how it goes. Oh, and THANK YOU for all the sweet reviews, you guys. Keep 'em coming. ;)
Cruel Despair
Chapter Four
"Hey, Marco, wait up!"
Hearing his name as he was exiting the Media Immersion Lab, Marco casually spun around in the doorway and looked for the speaker. His eyes landed on Spinner, who was grinning and headed his way. Taken aback, he froze, feeling his knees lock. He grabbed the door frame to keep his balance, and quickly straightened himself up, a half smile across his face. "Hey, Spin, what's up?" he asked, trying his hardest not to look as startled and nervous as he felt. He'd been avoiding Spinner all day to keep himself out of situations like this, but he couldn't exactly run away now.
"Where's Ellie?" Spinner walked out of the room and down the hall. Apparently, Marco was supposed to follow him, and he did, jogging slightly to catch up.
"Absent," Marco replied, watching Spinner trip a few grade sevens on their way out of the building. He laughed and Marco chuckled as well, although wondering why he had feelings, whatever they were, for someone who got kicks out of bullying the inferior.
The two of them rifled their coats and books out of their lockers and exited the school. Marco inhaled the cold winter air and walked down the sidewalk with Spinner at his side.
"How is Ellie, anyway?" Spinner nudged Marco with his elbow and wiggled his eyebrows.
Marco rolled his eyes and shook his head, letting out an aggravated breath. "God, Spinner."
Spinner laughed. "What? I mean, you guys have been going out for, what, a month or two now? You have to have done something by now."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but we haven't." Marco shook his head again, and for the second time in the past couple of months, thought something must be really wrong with him. Was he the only who didn't have sex on the brain 24/7?
"Pathetic," Spinner told him, chuckling. "Oh, but, wait, I forgot, you're gay, so I guess I could see why." He looked at Marco, smirking.
Marco looked back at him, narrowing his eyes, and stopped walking, feeling anger rise up in him. Half of the anger was towards Spinner, and half towards himself. Why did he have to be gay? Why couldn't he just be normal, like all the other guys, whose only thoughts were about sex and sports? "Dude, just shut up."
"Touchy, touchy," Spinner said, smirking still.
"It's just.. It's not funny, okay? I'm sick of you always calling me fag and stuff." The fact that I think I might have a crush on you doesn't help much either. Marco raised his hands and put them behind his head, then sighed, covering his face and suddenly feeling tired.
"Dude, chill." The smirk on Spinner's face slowly turned into a kindhearted smile as they started walking again. The smile quickly vanished, however, and he coughed, looking away for a moment and then back at Marco. "I mean, I know you're not really gay." For a moment, when Spinner said it, there almost seemed to be a hopefulness in his voice.
Marco shook his head quickly, sure he was just imagining it, but remained silent to Spinner's question. As scared and abnormal as Marco felt, a part of him almost wanted Spinner to know his true sexual identity. He wasn't sure why; he knew if he ever did, he'd get taunted to no end. There was even the possibility that Spinner would want nothing to do with him after he found out, if he found out, and Marco didn't want that at all.
Still not answering, he stared at his feet as the two of them walked in silence. He could feel Spinner's gaze on him, but continued to look down at his shoes. "You're.. You're not gay." It was almost as if Spinner was trying to reassure himself, and he laughed softly. Marco looked up at him, silent and expressionless. Quietly, Spinner asked, "A-are you?"
Marco knew it was coming but wasn't sure what to say. The easiest thing to do was lie, laugh, say "Hell no." For some reason, though, he couldn't bring himself to deny it. Looking away, he noticed they'd reached his house, and, not looking back at Spinner, hurried up the path and inside. He quickly shut the door on Spinner, who was following him, banging on the door with his fist as it closed. "Are you?" he called.
Leaning his back against the door and sliding down to a sitting position, Marco hung his head and took slow breaths, trying to calm himself down, but he couldn't. Fuck. He knows. He could feel Spinner's fists against the door again, asking, "Are you? Dude.." To Marco's surprise, he felt something wet on his hand and realized it was a tear. Men don't cry. He quickly wiped it away and leaned his head back.
He didn't realize on the other side, Spinner was sitting, back against the door.
A/N: Oi. This chapter sucked anus, didn't it? I apologize. It was pretty short too. I promise to make it up to you.. Er.
