Title: The Shadows of Yesterday

Author: Liat

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary:

A/N: this was made assuming that the school colors are yellow and maroon. Don't know how I came up with that one, not sure if it's correct, but who really cares, anyway. Also, this is a Lex you've never really seen. Also, a Lana you've never seen. (Acctually, people write her like this sometimes.) Hey, it's 2 years later and they're * mine *. I can do whatever the hell I want with them. * grin *. Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes Clark Kent hides out in his Fortress of Solitude, hip nestled against the corner of the loft window, hand resting absently on his telescope, sunlight shining on thick waves of black hair, emerald eyes glazed over, unblinking, staring out over the cornfields, and he wonders.

Like any other teenaged, healthy, adopted boy, he wonders about his birth parents. Like any other teenaged, healthy boy, he wonders about sex. Unlike any other teenaged boy, he wonders about Lex Luthor.

He wonders: if he hadn't been on that bridge, on that fateful day nearly three years ago, if Lex's cell phone hadn't rung at the exact time that a wire had fallen onto the road, if Lex hadn't hit him with his Porsche while traveling over 60 miles an hour, then they would never have met. Well, they may have met. After all, Smallville's a pretty small town. But it would have been different, to say the least.

Yes, Clark was grateful for the fact the he and Lex were, indeed, best friends. There was no doubt about that. He just sometimes wishes he could be wholly truthful with Lex.

~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes Lex hides out in his "obsession room", sitting on the floor, back propped up against the wall, arms resting on up-drawn knees, various lights from the screens reflecting off of his bald head, crystalline eyes trained on the huge computer screen before him, unblinking, and he wonders.

Like any other bitter, mistrusting, motherless scion, he wonders about his mother. Like any other bitter, mistrusting scion, he wonders how it would be if no one had to lie. Unlike any other bitter scion, he wonders if Clark Kent is the one person that could redeem him.

Yes, Lex was immeasurably grateful for Clark's friendship. He had no doubt about how much he valued Clark's affection. Just sometimes, he wishes that he could be wholly truthful with Clark.

~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, Kent. Let's get crackin'. We have exactly one hour and twenty-three minutes to get there, and if you're not dressed and ready to go within forty-five minutes, I will leave you behind. I swear."

Clark laughed, rolling his eyes. He said, holding the ear-piece of the phone away from his ear so he could speak directly into the mouth-piece,

"I know, Sullivan. See you in forty-five."

Clark was still grinning forty minutes later, even though his shirt had had to be pressed, 4 minutes, the hem in his pants had to be let down, 11 minutes, and his shoes had needed to be polished, 6 minutes. Added to that was the problem of his unruly hair, which he stupidly tried to tame with styling gel. That lost him another 12 minutes while he hopped into the shower to wash out the gel. Now, with five minutes to spare and looking snazzy, Clark was perched on a stool at the kitchen counter waiting patiently for Chloe to pick him up.

Clark and Chloe, along with Pete, Lana, and the rest of the graduating class of 2005, were all invited to a bash at the Luthor mansion.

Chloe was brimming with excitement, bouncing up and down in the driver's seat, when she pulled up in front of the Kent's house. Clark dashed out with a last wave to his mother, trying to get to the car quickly, in human speed, to avoid getting too wet. Only 10 minutes ago fat raindrops had begun to fall in a light drizzle, soon turning into steady rain, then to a downpour. Clark shook his head, dog-like, as he shut the passenger door. Chloe squealed as droplets of water splattered all over her. Clark turned to grin at Chloe, his hair limp and falling into his eyes. Clark's grin was so infectious that Chloe could help responding with a beaming smile of her own. Turning back to the road, silly smile still plastered on her face, Chloe shifted the car into gear and sped off towards Luthor manor.

~*~*~*~*~

Chloe couldn't stop her jaw from dropping when she entered the foyer of Lex's home. A huge banner hung on the opposite wall congratulating the class of 2005 and the room was decorated in the school colors, yellow and maroon. A butler led Chloe and Clark into one of the various rooms they had never seen before. It, too, was decorated according to the school colors. A long table stood against one wall covered with various drinks, including a huge bowl of what looked like punch with pieces of fruit floating in it. Another table was directly across from the beverage table, against the other wall, covered in varied foods. People were milling around, talking, drinking, eating, dancing. Most people had brought dates from other classes, other schools.

The moment Lex had spotted Chloe and Clark, he began to make his way over to them. Lex shifted his drink to his left hand and gripped Clark's elbow. He leaned towards Clark and Chloe and said with a welcoming grin,

"Finally! I've been walking around, playing host to kids I've never seen in my life. What took you guys so long?"

Chloe fluttered her eyelashes playfully, smoothing a hand over he cropped hair. Lex smiled, leaned closer into Clark and said,

"Come with me."

He led them over to the drink table, to the bowl of punch. Chloe let out a delighted "ooh" and picked out a piece of pineapple, dyed red from the liquid it was floating in. Lex smiled, pouring the drink into two cups and handing them to Clark and Chloe, respectively. Clark took a gulp, then choked, nearly spraying it all over Lex. He pounded his chest with his fist and said, gasping,

"That's not punch!"

Lex laughed, poured some into his own cup. He said,

"Sangria. Don't tell anyone. It's alcoholic." He turned to Chloe, who was sipping it silently, looking around over the rim of her cup. He smiled, "Enjoying it, Chloe?"

Chloe looked up at Lex, grinned widely, and took another sip. Clark scowled into his drink, then tasted it tentatively again. Shrugging, he fished a chunk of apple out of the cup and popped it into his mouth. Lex looked towards the door and Chloe followed his line of vision. She looked back at Lex, giggled at his darkened expression. Clark looked over at the door, and watched mouth hanging open, as Lana walked in. Her dress was, of course, pink. It was high-cut in the front, low cut in the back, sleeveless, fitted to the waist, and still clingy to the knees, where it fanned out in a pool. Lex's scowl deepened when he noticed nearly every guy turning to ogle Lana, including Clark. Lex muttered something into his cup as he took a deep swallow of Sangria. Chloe's grin widened and she said sweetly,

"What was that, Lex?"

Lex shook his head, glared at Chloe, then turned his attention back to Pretty-in-Pink Lana. The crowd parted as Lana made her way over to where Clark, Chloe, and Lex stood. A tall, lanky blonde guy trailed behind Lana carrying her clutch and looking very self-satisfied to have "bagged" the belle of the ball. Lex said coolly, impersonally, when Lana reached them,

"Miss Lang, you look lovely."

Lana smiled at Lex, then at Chloe, then turned her attention to Clark. Her smile turned a bit lusty and she said,

"Wow, Clark. Don't you look strapping."

Lex tried not to snort, but Chloe caught a little of the sound. Lex muttered out of the side of his mouth,

"Sounds like his mother."

Chloe struggled to keep a straight face and was mostly successful. Then Lana turned back to Chloe, assessing. Chloe's dress was a column of midnight blue. A tube dress that was snug all the way down to where it ended, an un-even ham-line beginning just above her left knee and ending mid-calf of her right leg. Matching heels completed the ensemble, also succeeding in making Chloe's legs look longer, making her appear taller. Chloe shifted towards Clark and he absently draped an arm across her shoulders. Chloe was satisfied to see something flicker on Lana's eyes before she composed herself, making her eyes politely blank. She turned to Lex now, said with a genuine smile,

"Great party, Lex. Must have been a lot of work."

Lex shrugged. He figured he should try not to be rude, so he said,

"My staff did all the work. I just supervised. It was no big deal."

The corner of Lana's mouth twitched, her eyes staying on Lex for a minute, before she crooked her finger at the guy behind her. She said, linking her arm with his,

"Guys, this is Brad. Brad, this is Clark, " her free hand caressed Clark's forearm, "this is Chloe," she waved a hand in Chloe's direction, "and this is Lex Luthor." Her fingertips brushed the back to Lex's hand and he jerked in response, nearly spilling his drink on himself. Biting his tongue, her smiled blandly at Brad. Lana turned to Brad and said huskily,

"Let's dance."

Lex shook his head as Lana dragged Brad towards the speakers in the back of the room. He said, clucking his tongue,

"What ever has gotten in to our dear, innocent Lana?"

Chloe snorted and said,

"Innocent? Lana? Never. She put on a good show, though."

Clark frowned thoughtfully, then went to take a sip of Sangria. He was surprised to find it all gone. Shrugging, Clark turned to the bowl and ladled some more alcohol into his cup. Just as he took the first sip, Chloe grabbed Clark's arm. She said,

"Dance with me, Clark."

Clark sighed, set his cup down, glanced apologetically at Lex, then let Chloe lead him away. As Chloe and Clark swayed gently to the music, Clark saw Lex out of the corner of his eye. He was standing in the corner, back against the wall, arms folded, Sangria in one hand, eyes darting around the room. But they always came back to Clark. Clark slitted his eyes closed and secretly watched Lex while he and Chloe danced.

~*~*~*~*~

Chloe yawned, stretching her arms high above her head. She rubbed her eyes and said, slipping one foot out of a heel to absently rub the back of her knee,

"Clark, are you ready to leave yet?"

Clark looked around the now empty room and looked over at Lex sweeping the tablecloths off the tables. He shook his head and said,

"You go with out me. I'm sure Lex could give me a ride home."

Chloe looked over at Lex, half-smiling,

"He's a good friend."

Clark nodded, the corner of his mouth quirking,

"Yeah." Chloe sighed, looked up at Clark sleepily. He held his arms open and she walked into then, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her cheek on his chest. Clark smiled, pulling Chloe snuggly against his body. He murmured,

"So tiny."

Chloe looked up, mumbled,

"Hmm?"

Clark grinned, pushed Chloe towards the door. He patted her butt as she walked out the door and he said,

"Don't fall asleep at the wheel, Chlo!"

Obviously awake enough, Chloe gave him the finger before she turned the corner. Chuckling, Clark shut the door and turned around to survey the room. It was mostly cleaned up, 6 full garbage bags in the corner by the door. Clark walked around, stacking stray cups, crawling under the tables to grab plates, napkins, cups, and plastic-ware.

Later, finally done with clean up, Clark and Lex were lounging on the couch in Lex's office, jackets shed, sleeves rolled up, top 3 shirt buttons unbuttoned. Lex turned his head to look at Clark. He smiled,

"Thank you, Clark."

Clark smiled back, reached across the couch to pat Lex's shoulder in response. Lex turned back to stare into the hearth. A fire was licking at a pile of logs, casting half of the room in shadows, the other half bathed in an orange-y glow. Lex sighed, turning to face Clark. He said, scooting closer,

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

Clark grinned,

"Yeah. It was great. Chloe had a great time, too. She was just too tired to tell you."

Lex smiled lop-sidedly, leaning his head against the back of the couch. He stared at Clark, clear blue eyes reflecting the glowing embers a few feet away from them. Clark stared back, lids drooping, green eyes smoky. A little bit tipsy from too many cups of Sangria, mind fuzzy, feeling a bit reckless, Clark leaned forwards slowly. Barely inches from Lex, his eyes fluttered all the way shut and he closed the rest of the distance. Felt Lex's sharp intake of breath and parted his lips, silently pleading. Lex responded, scooting closer, angling his head, fitting his lips to Clark's. Lex smiled, nipped Clark's bottom lip once, twice, then ran his tongue over it. Clark's lips opened wider and Lex slipped inside to explore. Clark's moan was swallowed when Lex pushed him back into a reclining position. Vaguely, they heard music still drifting in from the speakers. They hadn't bothered to dismantle them. Lex pulled back, stared into Clark's eyes, admiring the locks of silky black hair that fell into his eyes, verdant eyes staring back up at him, hazy, lust-filled.

* * * * *

The strands in your eyes

That color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

Emeralds from mountains

Thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth

* * * * *

Eyes open, Lex took Clark's mouth gently, let his fingers skate through that soft hair, skitter over that tan collarbone, brush across rippling abs. Clark's eyes drifted closed, purred softly, hands wandering restlessly over Lex's back, down his sides, gripping his ass. Lex whimpered, then whispered,

"Clark."

Clark shook his head, side to side, squeezed his eyes tighter. Lex nuzzled behind Clark's ear, whispered against his earlobe,

"Clark."

Clark breathed in, opened his eyes to look up at Lex. Understanding the question in Lex's eyes, in replication Clark lifted up, pressed his lips firmly to Lex's.

* * * * *

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows

Of heartache that hang from above

* * * * *

Later that night, Clark lay asleep on the couch, Lex tucked firmly against his side, head resting over his heart. Lex, still awake, traced Clark's muscles with his fingertips, staring blankly, sleepily at the black leather of the couch. Pushing up, trying for minimal movement, Lex looked down at Clark's angelic face. The hair, rumpled, sticking in various directions. His long, thick lashes casting long shadows against his high, ever-flushed cheekbones. His nostrils flared rhythmically with his breathing, his chest rising and falling. Lex's eyes lingered on Clark's lips, full, with more than a little hint of a pout. Lex stared, unsmiling, memorizing. Finally, his eyelids too heavy to keep open, Lex traced a finger softly down Clark's nose, then settled back onto his chest and fell asleep.

* * * * *

I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be.love suicide

I'll be.better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

* * * * *

The next morning was overcast, heavy black clouds floating low. A sharp contrast to Lex's mood. Lex was humming, carrying in a tray of coffee with a white rose lying diagonally across the tray when Clark woke up. Clark smiled sleepily, shifting. He glanced down, relieved to find himself wearing a baggy pair of sweatpants with a fading logo of MIT on the right leg. Lex perched on the edge of the couch, similarly dressed in MIT sweatpants cut off just below the knee. Clark looked up when the first sounds of rain hit the roof. Glancing out the stained-glass windows of the office, Clark and Lex absently sipped coffee and watched the rain falling heavily across the fields of grass and corn.

Done with coffee, Lex settled back, snuggling against Clark. Clark smiled, wrapped an arm around Lex's shoulder, pulling him closer. Lex sighed, relaxing more than he ever had in front of anyone. Knowing it, Clark bent to rub his cheek against Lex's affectionately.

* * * * *

Rain falls

Angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed

You're my survival,

You're my living proof

My love is alive and not dead

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows

Of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder

I'll be.love suicide

I'll be.better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

* * * * *

Later that day, Clark, still wearing the sweats, but now wearing a T-shirt with Princeton across the chest climbed into one of Lex's many fancy cars. Lex had shown him the garages. Rows upon rows of expensive cars, mostly in drab colors save three or four flashy cars stuck in random places in the rows. Clark's reaction to the dark room filled wall-to-wall with cars, and one impressive Harley Davidson, was,

"How very Batman."

Pulling into the Kent's driveway, Lex glanced around before stealing a quick kiss from Clark. Grinning, Clark exited the car, bending low to look at Lex for a few seconds before shutting the car door and dashing inside.

~*~*~*~*~

Lex didn't call for three days. Getting worried and feeling a little insulted, Clark finally decided to call Lex. Dialing the memorized number, the phone was answered after 4 rings. A brisk, female voice said,

"Luthor residence."

Clark hesitated too long and the woman said, sounding a bit peeved,

"Hello?"

Clark closed his eyes and said,

"Is Lex---Mr. Luthor there?"

The woman paused a minute before saying,

"No, I am sorry, he is not. May I take a message?"

Clark scrunched his nose and, shaking his head, said,

"No. But I was wondering, could you tell me where he is?"

Clark could practically hear the scowl.

"I'm sorry, sir, that is not information I am at liberty to disclose. If you do not wish to leave a message, I suggest that you call back later."

Clark sighed,

"Fine. Thanks."

Hanging up, Clark slumped back against the headboard of his bed, folding his arms and looking sullenly around the room. Finally, decisively, Clark stood up, pulled on some shoes, and went down stairs. He called out,

"Dad?"

Jonathan Kent walked out of the kitchen, a plate of fresh, homemade peach cobbler in one hand, a fork in the other, and his mouth full. He nodded at Clark, indicating for him to speak. Clark fidgeted, his eyes pleading,

"Can I use the car for a little while?"

Jonathan frowned, looked Clark up and down, then, swallowing, said,

"What for?"

Clark smiled,

"To drive to Metropolis. I hear they have great strip clubs there."

Jonathan looked positively stricken and Clark laughed,

"Dad, I'm just going into town. Maybe the Talon."

Jonathan relaxed, nearly dropping the plate in his relief. He smiled, nodded at Clark, and said,

"Keys are by the door."

Grinning, Clark turned to the door, calling thanks behind him, then leaving.

He pulled up in front of Lex's house and parked the car. Ringing the doorbell, Clark stuck his hands nervously in his pockets. He thought, when he had to ring the doorbell a second, then a third time, "I should have gone around through the kitchen. Damn it." But just as he turned to go around, the door opened. The butler, recognizing Clark, smiled warmly and motioned for him to come inside. Before he took Clark's coat, he said,

"Master Lex is not here as of now."

Clark frowned, shoulders drooping. He said,

"Is he out of town?"

The butler shook his head,

"No, he's just left half an hour ago, in one of his cars. No chauffeur, just himself. Didn't say where he was going, though he has been a bit down on the weather lately. Perhaps he has a private place he goes to when he's.distracted?"

Clark frowned, thinking for a minute. Then, his face brightened. The startled butler was drawn into an appreciative hug, then abruptly let go as Clark rushed out the door.

Clark parked the car on the shoulder of the bridge and got out. He looked around for a minute before starting down the slope to the bottom of the little hill. When he reached the bottom, he was not surprised to find Lex standing there, his back to Clark, hands in his pockets, signature knee- length jacket flapping in the wind. He was facing the bank of the river, chin held high, blue eyes staring sightlessly across to the bank on the other side. Not wanting to startle him, Clark walked forwards slowly, deliberately letting his feet rustle the high grass. Lex didn't turn, didn't even acknowledge Clark, as if he didn't know Clark was there. Still silent, Clark stood at Lex's side, mimicking his pose. After a few minutes of quiet, only the sound of the rushing river and the occasional car passing overhead, Clark said softly,

"I used to come here, in my dreams. I would relive the exact moment when you hit me with your car, me giving you CPR.all of it. Every night. Only, sometimes, you hit me, I pulled you from the water, preformed CPR, but you never came back. I would lean over, breathing into your mouth, pumping you stomach futilely for hours."

Finally, Lex turned to look at Clark, only his head moving. He said, tilting his head to avoid the biting wind as best he could,

"I still come here. Not in dreams." He looked away, back up at the sky. "Whenever I can't concentrate, can't sleep, when I don't feel well. Do you know why?"

Clark didn't answer the rhetorical question, only let Lex continue.

"You saved me Clark. I hit you with my car, then you saved my life. With some sort of.miracle, you brought me back to life. Gave me another chance. A new chance to exist, to live. I promised myself, that day, that things would be different. And they are, for me, for you. I won't say that I regret hitting you with that car, Clark, because, truthfully, if I hadn't, I'd never have found you."

* * * * *

And I've dropped out,

Burned up,

Fought my way back from the dead

Tuned in,

Turned on,

Remembered the things you said

* * * * *

Clark did speak now, turned fully towards Lex. He said, drawing in a deep breath,

"If you ask me, Lex, I'll tell you."

Lex glanced at Clark out of the corner of his eye. He said, a hint of a smile on his face,

"You don't need to, Clark. I know."

Clark started to protest, but then stopped when he realized what Lex had said.

"You.know?"

Lex nodded, turning to face Clark.

"I didn't call you these last days, and I'm sorry for it. I feel rather ashamed to admit it, but I was in a state of shock. I wasn't really sure if the other night had been real, or only a dream."

Clark half smiled, said softly,

"Oh, Lex, it was real."

Lex smiled back,

"I was also nervous." When Clark raised his eyebrows, a doubtful expression on his face, Lex plowed on, "Nervous that our relationship would change. That it would be different, plagued by awkward silences, uneasy glances."

Clark stopped him, holding up a hand. He said tenderly,

"I love you."

Lex opened his mouth to continue his clarification,

"I thought that if I ignored it, it would g---"

Lex stopped talking, stared at Clark, puzzled and embarrassed. He said slowly,

"What?"

Clark grinned, stepping forwards to draw Lex into his arms,

"I love you, Lex Luthor."

Lex frowned, staring up at Clark. His hair was whipping in the wind, slashing across his sparkling green eyes, flicking across his rosy cheeks. Suddenly, Lex's heart swelled with happiness. He threw his arms around Clark's neck, laughing happily, and stood on tiptoe to press his lips to Clark's. He murmured against Clark's mouth,

"I love you, too."

Clark smiled back, renewing the kiss, passionately, lifting Lex off his feet, then setting him back down. Sighing, they parted and Lex closed his eyes, resting his cheek on Clark's chest. Clark smiled, lying his cheek on the top of Lex's head. And they just stood there, not caring who saw them.

* * * * *

I'll be.your cryin' shoulder

I'll be.love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your

I'll be.your cryin' shoulder

I'll be.love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older

I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life.

* * * * *

That's All, Folks

A/N: sorry about putting that song in. I know, it's sappy, but I was in a sappy mood and I adore that song, so I just had to use it.