"Bionic Bunny was already a popular show," said Fox Hansom as he mugged for the
camera, "but when Cyberpunk got on board, the ratings went through the roof!
To what do you attribute that, Mr. Rabbit?"
"Please, call me Wilbur," said Wilbur Rabbit. "There are so many Mr. Rabbits that it's hard to know who you're talking to."
Fox chuckled. "Of course. So, Wilbur, what is it about Cyberpunk that attracts so many viewers?"
"Well, Fox, I think part of it has to do with the fact that Cyberpunk is such a well-realized character, but mostly it's because we found the right boy to fill his tights. Arthur has everything we're looking for--talent, charm, looks--not only that, but his glasses are just like mine."
Arthur laughed.
"Thanks a lot, Wilbur," said Fox, smiling. "But I'm sure all you viewers didn't tune in to watch me and Wilbur Rabbit go back and forth. No, you want to hear the voice of the wonder aardvark himself!"
Fox handed the microphone to Arthur. He held it up to his mouth nervously.
"Uh...hi, Mom," he mumbled, waving.
Hundreds of miles away in Elwood City, Dave and Jane Read sat on the couch with D.W., watching TV. Kate crawled around on the floor, gurgling.
Mrs. Read waved proudly at Arthur. D.W. stuck out her tongue and made a weird face.
"Your face is gonna freeze like that, D.W.," said Arthur to the viewing audience. D.W. quickly retracted her tongue.
"Let me tell you how I got this part," Arthur went on. "The people who work for the show came to Elwood City to hold an audition. All the kids signed up...well, all the boys, anyway...and a few girls..."
----
"I am Doctor Ector from the planet Korn!" shouted Buster as he waved his claw. "I have come to assist Bionic Bunny with alien technology and wise counsel!"
As Buster strutted about on the stage, Wilbur Rabbit and the casting director, Will Call (an eagle person), watched from the stadium seats. Mr. Call took copious notes.
"All who serve evil burn at the touch of Doctor Ector!" cried Buster just before tripping over his robe and landing face first on the stage.
"Thanks," said Mr. Call finally. "We'll call."
As Buster exited the stage, George entered from the opposite side.
"They call me Hammer," he said nervously, "because...because I'm really tough and...uh...oh, wait, I've got it..."
"No antlers," Wilbur muttered to Mr. Call.
"We'll call," said Mr. Call to George.
George exited, and Sue Ellen strode confidently onto the stage, dressed in a martial arts robe. After demonstrating a few punches, kicks, and flips, she started singing to the tune of the 70's cartoon show, Hong Kong Phooey:
"Chop Chop Suey, number one super girl! Chop Chop Suey, fastest fists in the world!"
"Not bad," said Mr. Call, nodding. "We'll be in touch."
Sue Ellen leaped off the stage, and Fern entered. Wilbur pulled off his glasses and started to wipe them on his shirt.
"Never fear," Fern proclaimed boldly, "Rhyme Girl is here! I speak in rhyme, all the time! Without me, Bionic Bunny just wouldn't be funny!"
"Don't pout on your way out," Mr. Call quipped.
As Fern left the stage, Brain entered.
"I am Calculon, the human calculator," he announced. "Ask me any math question, and I will figure it out in my head."
Mr. Call took a deep breath. "Approximate pi to the first two hundred digits."
Brain started to lose his nerve. "Uh, 3.14159...er..."
"Come back when you've got it," said Mr. Call.
As Brain walked off the stage, still muttering digits under his breath, Arthur entered, wearing a gray sweatsuit and his usual glasses.
Wilbur's eyes narrowed when he saw Arthur. "Wait a minute..."
Arthur removed his glasses and placed them in one of his pockets. Then he pulled a black visor from his other pocket and placed it over his eyes.
"I am...Cyberpunk!" he shouted.
"I know this kid," Wilbur said quietly.
"Cyberpunk," said Mr. Call. "Catchy name."
"I was an all-around slacker and aspiring garage metal guitarist," said Arthur. "My mom thought I was worthless, until she signed me up for a secret government experiment and found out how much I really was worth! Now I can do everything that Bionic Bunny can do, and with eye lasers to boot! Introducing Cyberpunk...the hero who will ROCK...YOUR...WORLD!"
"Yacht Boy," said Wilbur Rabbit, almost loud enough for Arthur to hear. "That's Yacht Boy!"
"We'll be in touch," said Mr. Call.
As Arthur walked off the stage, still playing his air guitar, a cat boy took his place in the spotlight.
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more," said the cat boy with impressive stentorian tones, "or close the wall up with our English dead..."
Arthur joined his friends in the hallway, and Buster gave him a high-five.
"That was really good," said Buster. "But we don't have a chance."
"Why not, Buster?" asked Brain.
"That's Floyd Walton in there," said Buster in a discouraged voice. "He's the best actor in the whole school. Listen to him. He's still going. He must have memorized the whole play!"
"What play is it?" asked Sue Ellen.
"Henry V, by Shakespeare," Brain answered. "I've seen the movie."
"Not me," said Fern. "I hate sequels."
A short while later, Binky stood in the spotlight, shaking a fist threateningly. "If you thought Bionic Bunny was tough, just wait till you meet Ham Fist. Let the clobbering begin!"
"Thanks," said Mr. Call. "We'll call."
As Binky walked off the stage, Wilbur and Mr. Call started to consult with each other.
"That Shakespeare boy was something else," said Mr. Call. "He should be aiming higher than this. Still, if he really wants the part..."
"I want Yacht Boy," said Wilbur firmly.
"What do you mean, Yacht Boy?"
"The last time I came to Elwood City," Wilbur Rabbit recounted, "he and his little girlfriend plucked me from the ocean. I'll tell you the whole story later."
"He does have a lot of enthusiasm," said Mr. Call, "but I've got a sharp eye for talent, and that Shakespeare boy...Floyd is his name...he's got three times as much."
"Shakespeare, Schmakespeare," said Wilbur. "Kids don't watch our show to hear sonnets. The final decision is yours, of course, but remember, whoever you choose has to work with me."
"Very well," said Mr. Call. "Yacht Boy it is. Arthur Read."
In one of the nearby exits, Floyd Walton was hidden behind a curtain. The deflated look on his face suggested that he had overheard the entire conversation...
(to be continued)
"Please, call me Wilbur," said Wilbur Rabbit. "There are so many Mr. Rabbits that it's hard to know who you're talking to."
Fox chuckled. "Of course. So, Wilbur, what is it about Cyberpunk that attracts so many viewers?"
"Well, Fox, I think part of it has to do with the fact that Cyberpunk is such a well-realized character, but mostly it's because we found the right boy to fill his tights. Arthur has everything we're looking for--talent, charm, looks--not only that, but his glasses are just like mine."
Arthur laughed.
"Thanks a lot, Wilbur," said Fox, smiling. "But I'm sure all you viewers didn't tune in to watch me and Wilbur Rabbit go back and forth. No, you want to hear the voice of the wonder aardvark himself!"
Fox handed the microphone to Arthur. He held it up to his mouth nervously.
"Uh...hi, Mom," he mumbled, waving.
Hundreds of miles away in Elwood City, Dave and Jane Read sat on the couch with D.W., watching TV. Kate crawled around on the floor, gurgling.
Mrs. Read waved proudly at Arthur. D.W. stuck out her tongue and made a weird face.
"Your face is gonna freeze like that, D.W.," said Arthur to the viewing audience. D.W. quickly retracted her tongue.
"Let me tell you how I got this part," Arthur went on. "The people who work for the show came to Elwood City to hold an audition. All the kids signed up...well, all the boys, anyway...and a few girls..."
----
"I am Doctor Ector from the planet Korn!" shouted Buster as he waved his claw. "I have come to assist Bionic Bunny with alien technology and wise counsel!"
As Buster strutted about on the stage, Wilbur Rabbit and the casting director, Will Call (an eagle person), watched from the stadium seats. Mr. Call took copious notes.
"All who serve evil burn at the touch of Doctor Ector!" cried Buster just before tripping over his robe and landing face first on the stage.
"Thanks," said Mr. Call finally. "We'll call."
As Buster exited the stage, George entered from the opposite side.
"They call me Hammer," he said nervously, "because...because I'm really tough and...uh...oh, wait, I've got it..."
"No antlers," Wilbur muttered to Mr. Call.
"We'll call," said Mr. Call to George.
George exited, and Sue Ellen strode confidently onto the stage, dressed in a martial arts robe. After demonstrating a few punches, kicks, and flips, she started singing to the tune of the 70's cartoon show, Hong Kong Phooey:
"Chop Chop Suey, number one super girl! Chop Chop Suey, fastest fists in the world!"
"Not bad," said Mr. Call, nodding. "We'll be in touch."
Sue Ellen leaped off the stage, and Fern entered. Wilbur pulled off his glasses and started to wipe them on his shirt.
"Never fear," Fern proclaimed boldly, "Rhyme Girl is here! I speak in rhyme, all the time! Without me, Bionic Bunny just wouldn't be funny!"
"Don't pout on your way out," Mr. Call quipped.
As Fern left the stage, Brain entered.
"I am Calculon, the human calculator," he announced. "Ask me any math question, and I will figure it out in my head."
Mr. Call took a deep breath. "Approximate pi to the first two hundred digits."
Brain started to lose his nerve. "Uh, 3.14159...er..."
"Come back when you've got it," said Mr. Call.
As Brain walked off the stage, still muttering digits under his breath, Arthur entered, wearing a gray sweatsuit and his usual glasses.
Wilbur's eyes narrowed when he saw Arthur. "Wait a minute..."
Arthur removed his glasses and placed them in one of his pockets. Then he pulled a black visor from his other pocket and placed it over his eyes.
"I am...Cyberpunk!" he shouted.
"I know this kid," Wilbur said quietly.
"Cyberpunk," said Mr. Call. "Catchy name."
"I was an all-around slacker and aspiring garage metal guitarist," said Arthur. "My mom thought I was worthless, until she signed me up for a secret government experiment and found out how much I really was worth! Now I can do everything that Bionic Bunny can do, and with eye lasers to boot! Introducing Cyberpunk...the hero who will ROCK...YOUR...WORLD!"
"Yacht Boy," said Wilbur Rabbit, almost loud enough for Arthur to hear. "That's Yacht Boy!"
"We'll be in touch," said Mr. Call.
As Arthur walked off the stage, still playing his air guitar, a cat boy took his place in the spotlight.
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more," said the cat boy with impressive stentorian tones, "or close the wall up with our English dead..."
Arthur joined his friends in the hallway, and Buster gave him a high-five.
"That was really good," said Buster. "But we don't have a chance."
"Why not, Buster?" asked Brain.
"That's Floyd Walton in there," said Buster in a discouraged voice. "He's the best actor in the whole school. Listen to him. He's still going. He must have memorized the whole play!"
"What play is it?" asked Sue Ellen.
"Henry V, by Shakespeare," Brain answered. "I've seen the movie."
"Not me," said Fern. "I hate sequels."
A short while later, Binky stood in the spotlight, shaking a fist threateningly. "If you thought Bionic Bunny was tough, just wait till you meet Ham Fist. Let the clobbering begin!"
"Thanks," said Mr. Call. "We'll call."
As Binky walked off the stage, Wilbur and Mr. Call started to consult with each other.
"That Shakespeare boy was something else," said Mr. Call. "He should be aiming higher than this. Still, if he really wants the part..."
"I want Yacht Boy," said Wilbur firmly.
"What do you mean, Yacht Boy?"
"The last time I came to Elwood City," Wilbur Rabbit recounted, "he and his little girlfriend plucked me from the ocean. I'll tell you the whole story later."
"He does have a lot of enthusiasm," said Mr. Call, "but I've got a sharp eye for talent, and that Shakespeare boy...Floyd is his name...he's got three times as much."
"Shakespeare, Schmakespeare," said Wilbur. "Kids don't watch our show to hear sonnets. The final decision is yours, of course, but remember, whoever you choose has to work with me."
"Very well," said Mr. Call. "Yacht Boy it is. Arthur Read."
In one of the nearby exits, Floyd Walton was hidden behind a curtain. The deflated look on his face suggested that he had overheard the entire conversation...
(to be continued)
