"I keep saying that class sizes should be reduced," remarked Mr. Ratburn at the
beginning of the school day, "but this isn't what I had in mind."
The class was missing three of its regular members--Francine, Brain, and Arthur.
"Now I know where Francine is," Mr. Ratburn continued, "and I know about what happened to Alan, but Arthur's absence remains a mystery...unless he's still in Hollywood, that is."
The kids chuckled, and Mr. Ratburn called the class to order. "It's been an eventful weekend. Arthur passed his screen test, but I can't say that surprises me. What does surprise me is that Sue Ellen's mother thinks she can..."
Mr. Ratburn's speech was interrupted by a crackle from the public address speaker.
"May I have your attention, please," came Mr. Haney's voice. "I have a brief announcement to make...hey!"
Suddenly Arthur's voice boomed over the speaker. "I have a LONG announcement to make. I, Arthur Read, star of The Bionic Bunny Show and the greatest actor this school has ever seen, have agreed, despite my busy schedule as a Hollywood celebrity, to take upon myself the role of Dashing Don Kindly in the upcoming school production, "Have Rent, Will Travel". This action on my part has been made necessary by the abrupt departure of Floyd Walton, who obviously felt unworthy of the role. Or maybe he realized that he couldn't hope to compete with such a talented, not to mention famous, actor as myself. Whatever the case may be, you, the students of Lakewood Elementary, now have the privilege of witnessing this exciting production, written and directed by our own Principal Haney, with the renowned thespian Arthur T. Read in the title role. No offense to you, Floyd. Even though you're only a second-class actor, I really wanted to see you in this role...but you blew your chance. This is Arthur Read, star of The Bionic Bunny Show, signing off. School may now resume."
By this time all of Mr. Ratburn's students were laughing hysterically...and so was Mr. Ratburn.
"Calm down, everybody, let's get started," said Mr. Ratburn, but even he was unable to stop laughing.
Muffy finally stopped laughing long enough to speak. "I know what he's up to," she said mockingly.
"What is it?" asked Buster between chuckles. "What's he up to?"
"Isn't it obvious?" said Muffy. "He's trying to make Floyd jealous so he'll do the play. But don't tell Floyd that."
Moments later Arthur came into the classroom, greeted by cheers from the other students. "Thank you, thank you," he said pompously. "No autographs, please."
"Welcome home, Arthur," said Mr. Ratburn as the cheering subsided. "It seems everybody's trying to hog the cameras these days." As he made this remark, he looked directly at Sue Ellen.
The kids were too preoccupied with Arthur's bold announcement and his newfound fame to pay much attention to the lesson. Finally the bell rang, and the kids started to leave.
Arthur, Buster, and Muffy found a bench in the center court. Before sitting, Buster removed a newspaper section that someone had left behind. The front page headline blared, DAISY ARMSTRONG: I'M RUNNING FOR MAYOR.
"My mom wrote this article," Buster boasted as the kids sat down. "It's all the stuff Mrs. Armstrong didn't get to say when she was on TV."
"Like what?" asked Arthur.
"I dunno," said Buster. "None of it made any sense to me."
"Is she really serious about..." Muffy began.
She was interrupted when somebody called out Arthur's name in a loud voice.
"Uh-oh," said Muffy, suppressing a giggle. "Here comes trouble."
Or, more accurately, here came Floyd.
"Uh...hi, Floyd," said Arthur timidly as the older boy stood in front of him.
Then Floyd grinned and stuck out his hand. Arthur shook it, looking surprised.
"I know you'll do just fine," said Floyd, and then he walked away.
Arthur, Buster, and Muffy gazed after him in utter astonishment.
"He...he...he didn't fall for it..." Arthur stammered.
Then he looked at Buster and Muffy in horror as he realized what he had gotten himself into...
He leaned back and groaned mightily.
"I am the stupidest aardvark in the whole universe," he muttered drearily.
"What will you do now?" Muffy asked him.
"What else can I do?"
----
"...then it occurred to me that I could make ten times as much money by using that knowledge to my advantage, and becoming an evil landlord myself. Bwahahaha!"
Mr. Haney threw his hands in the air. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur..."
"What was wrong with that?" asked Arthur as he stood on the stage holding a script in his hands.
"There's no feeling," Mr. Haney lamented. "Your heart's not into it. I understand that you volunteered as a joke. You don't have to go through with this."
"But I told everybody I would," said Arthur earnestly. "If I don't, I'll be the laughing stock of the school."
"I can postpone the play," said the principal. "I can wait until Alan gets better, or until I find someone else for the part. There's less than two weeks left, and with you going back and forth to Hollywood..."
"I can do this," said Arthur with determination.
Mr. Haney paced the auditorium floor, gesturing with his hands. "It's not the same as Hollywood. You don't get to do take after take until it's perfect. You have to go in front of the audience and do it right the first time."
Arthur jumped off the stage and confronted the principal. "I have to do this, Mr. Haney. What if Wilbur Rabbit and all the people at Banana-Barberry find out I can't handle a stupid school play?"
"Very well," said the exasperated principal. "Go home and practice your lines. We'll see how much progress you've made tomorrow."
"Thanks, Mr. Haney."
Arthur rushed out of the school building, still clutching his script. As he skipped down the sidewalk he passed by Fern's house, where Fern was mowing the lawn.
"Arthur!" she called.
Arthur stopped. "What's up, Fern?"
Fern left the lawnmower idling and walked to the fence. "We're all going to Town City to visit Francine this weekend. Muffy rented a charter bus."
"I can't go," said Arthur regretfully. "I'm going to Hollywood to start work on an episode."
"Oh, well, I guess that's more important. I'll say hello to her for you. Oh, there's one other thing...maybe you've already heard..."
"What?"
"Mr. Frensky found a job!"
(to be continued)
The class was missing three of its regular members--Francine, Brain, and Arthur.
"Now I know where Francine is," Mr. Ratburn continued, "and I know about what happened to Alan, but Arthur's absence remains a mystery...unless he's still in Hollywood, that is."
The kids chuckled, and Mr. Ratburn called the class to order. "It's been an eventful weekend. Arthur passed his screen test, but I can't say that surprises me. What does surprise me is that Sue Ellen's mother thinks she can..."
Mr. Ratburn's speech was interrupted by a crackle from the public address speaker.
"May I have your attention, please," came Mr. Haney's voice. "I have a brief announcement to make...hey!"
Suddenly Arthur's voice boomed over the speaker. "I have a LONG announcement to make. I, Arthur Read, star of The Bionic Bunny Show and the greatest actor this school has ever seen, have agreed, despite my busy schedule as a Hollywood celebrity, to take upon myself the role of Dashing Don Kindly in the upcoming school production, "Have Rent, Will Travel". This action on my part has been made necessary by the abrupt departure of Floyd Walton, who obviously felt unworthy of the role. Or maybe he realized that he couldn't hope to compete with such a talented, not to mention famous, actor as myself. Whatever the case may be, you, the students of Lakewood Elementary, now have the privilege of witnessing this exciting production, written and directed by our own Principal Haney, with the renowned thespian Arthur T. Read in the title role. No offense to you, Floyd. Even though you're only a second-class actor, I really wanted to see you in this role...but you blew your chance. This is Arthur Read, star of The Bionic Bunny Show, signing off. School may now resume."
By this time all of Mr. Ratburn's students were laughing hysterically...and so was Mr. Ratburn.
"Calm down, everybody, let's get started," said Mr. Ratburn, but even he was unable to stop laughing.
Muffy finally stopped laughing long enough to speak. "I know what he's up to," she said mockingly.
"What is it?" asked Buster between chuckles. "What's he up to?"
"Isn't it obvious?" said Muffy. "He's trying to make Floyd jealous so he'll do the play. But don't tell Floyd that."
Moments later Arthur came into the classroom, greeted by cheers from the other students. "Thank you, thank you," he said pompously. "No autographs, please."
"Welcome home, Arthur," said Mr. Ratburn as the cheering subsided. "It seems everybody's trying to hog the cameras these days." As he made this remark, he looked directly at Sue Ellen.
The kids were too preoccupied with Arthur's bold announcement and his newfound fame to pay much attention to the lesson. Finally the bell rang, and the kids started to leave.
Arthur, Buster, and Muffy found a bench in the center court. Before sitting, Buster removed a newspaper section that someone had left behind. The front page headline blared, DAISY ARMSTRONG: I'M RUNNING FOR MAYOR.
"My mom wrote this article," Buster boasted as the kids sat down. "It's all the stuff Mrs. Armstrong didn't get to say when she was on TV."
"Like what?" asked Arthur.
"I dunno," said Buster. "None of it made any sense to me."
"Is she really serious about..." Muffy began.
She was interrupted when somebody called out Arthur's name in a loud voice.
"Uh-oh," said Muffy, suppressing a giggle. "Here comes trouble."
Or, more accurately, here came Floyd.
"Uh...hi, Floyd," said Arthur timidly as the older boy stood in front of him.
Then Floyd grinned and stuck out his hand. Arthur shook it, looking surprised.
"I know you'll do just fine," said Floyd, and then he walked away.
Arthur, Buster, and Muffy gazed after him in utter astonishment.
"He...he...he didn't fall for it..." Arthur stammered.
Then he looked at Buster and Muffy in horror as he realized what he had gotten himself into...
He leaned back and groaned mightily.
"I am the stupidest aardvark in the whole universe," he muttered drearily.
"What will you do now?" Muffy asked him.
"What else can I do?"
----
"...then it occurred to me that I could make ten times as much money by using that knowledge to my advantage, and becoming an evil landlord myself. Bwahahaha!"
Mr. Haney threw his hands in the air. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur..."
"What was wrong with that?" asked Arthur as he stood on the stage holding a script in his hands.
"There's no feeling," Mr. Haney lamented. "Your heart's not into it. I understand that you volunteered as a joke. You don't have to go through with this."
"But I told everybody I would," said Arthur earnestly. "If I don't, I'll be the laughing stock of the school."
"I can postpone the play," said the principal. "I can wait until Alan gets better, or until I find someone else for the part. There's less than two weeks left, and with you going back and forth to Hollywood..."
"I can do this," said Arthur with determination.
Mr. Haney paced the auditorium floor, gesturing with his hands. "It's not the same as Hollywood. You don't get to do take after take until it's perfect. You have to go in front of the audience and do it right the first time."
Arthur jumped off the stage and confronted the principal. "I have to do this, Mr. Haney. What if Wilbur Rabbit and all the people at Banana-Barberry find out I can't handle a stupid school play?"
"Very well," said the exasperated principal. "Go home and practice your lines. We'll see how much progress you've made tomorrow."
"Thanks, Mr. Haney."
Arthur rushed out of the school building, still clutching his script. As he skipped down the sidewalk he passed by Fern's house, where Fern was mowing the lawn.
"Arthur!" she called.
Arthur stopped. "What's up, Fern?"
Fern left the lawnmower idling and walked to the fence. "We're all going to Town City to visit Francine this weekend. Muffy rented a charter bus."
"I can't go," said Arthur regretfully. "I'm going to Hollywood to start work on an episode."
"Oh, well, I guess that's more important. I'll say hello to her for you. Oh, there's one other thing...maybe you've already heard..."
"What?"
"Mr. Frensky found a job!"
(to be continued)
