"Actually, he got two jobs," Fern went on, "one full-time and one part-time."
"What are the jobs?" asked Arthur curiously.
"He's training to be a nurse."
"A nurse?" Arthur was slightly taken aback. "You mean, like, at a hospital? I thought nurses were all women."
"Not anymore," said Fern. "Times are changing."
"What's the other job?"
----
In front of Crosswire Motors, Mr. Frensky stood at the top of a ladder, applying a nail gun to a large sign attached to two wooden posts. In huge red letters the sign read, CLOSE THE CASINO. DAISY MACK ARMSTRONG FOR MAYOR.
After shooting off a few more nails, Mr. Frensky flipped the safety switch on the nail gun and started to descend the ladder. Waiting for him at the bottom were Mr. Crosswire, Mrs. Armstrong, Muffy, and Sue Ellen, all wearing "Armstrong for Mayor" campaign buttons.
"Ah, you're here," said Mr. Frensky when he saw Mrs. Armstrong. "How do you like it?"
"Lovely," she replied. "Just lovely. I think I'll keep you on."
Mr. Frensky put on his handyman belt and placed the nail gun in its holster. "You know, Daisy, for a modest pay raise, I might consider lying into the camera and telling everybody that I really was pondering suicide."
"You can't mean that," said the perturbed Muffy.
"Hey, if it helps win the election and shut down the casino, I'm all for it," said Mr. Frensky.
"In politics, appearances are everything," said Mrs. Armstrong wisely. "He was sitting on the edge of a bridge over a river. Even if I hadn't said anything, everybody would have assumed..."
At that moment her cell phone rang, and she picked it up. "Daisy Mack Armstrong for Mayor, this is Daisy, how may I help you?"
"When did your mom get a cell phone?" Muffy asked Sue Ellen.
"She's had one for a long time," Sue Ellen answered. "Yours isn't the only family in town that can afford wireless service, you know."
The two girls started to wander around the car lot. "I just want you to know that my parents and I are behind your mom one hundred percent," said Muffy.
"So are a lot of other people," said Sue Ellen. "She's been getting calls all day."
"How's your dad taking all of this?"
"He supports her. But he's still upset that Mom didn't discuss it with him before announcing it on TV."
"So," Muffy said with a hint of concern, "if your mom wins the election, what does that mean? No more moving around the world?"
Sue Ellen stopped and looked thoughtful. "Hmm...I hadn't thought about that..."
----
"Mrs. Armstrong's announcement surprised all of us," said Arthur to the newscaster. "Everyone was excited about it. I didn't really have time to think about it, because I had to get ready for both the school play and my first Bionic Bunny episode. I discovered that I could get a lot done if I didn't watch TV, eat, or sleep..."
----
"...then it occurred to me that I could use that knowledge to my advantage, and become an evil landlord myself! Bwahahahaha!"
Suddenly the door to Arthur's bedroom burst open, revealing an angry D.W.
"Arthur Read, that's the four hundredth time I've heard you say that!"
"How do you know?" said Arthur as he lowered his script. "You can't count that high."
"I don't care," said D.W., pointing a threatening finger at Arthur. "If I hear you say it one more time, my brain will explode, and it'll be your fault!"
D.W. slammed the door, and Arthur looked down at his script.
Then the door opened once more. "And your evil laugh stinks!" D.W. added.
As D.W. slammed the door closed again, Arthur realized with sadness that she was right...his evil laugh wasn't convincing in the slightest.
He thought about how Mr. Haney had goaded Brain into evil laughter using the prospect of global domination...
"That's it," he told himself. "I need an evil desire. If I concentrate on the evil desire, then my evil laughter will be sincere."
Arthur had always been such a good kid...but surely there was some hidden demon within his heart...
He imagined D.W. making her way down a shadowy alleyway, glancing about nervously. A cat dined on rotting food in a garbage can nearby. As D.W. walked carefully through the shadows, she repeatedly passed the same two posters attached to the walls. One of them showed a picture of Arthur's glowering face, accompanied by the words, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU. The other featured the words WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
The alleyway led D.W. to a busy street that was apparently in the middle of a large city. Plastered on all the towers were larger versions of the posters she had seen earlier. On a gigantic video screen attached to the side of one building, Arthur's disembodied face barked orders and propaganda to the masses below.
D.W. recognized two of the people who were coming down the sidewalk...they were her parents. They smiled idiotically and continually muttered the same words over and over. As they passed D.W.'s position without seeing her, she was able to make out the words they were repeating:
"Must...keep...smiling... Must...keep...smiling..."
Terrified, D.W. scurried back into the shadows of the alleyway. Then she heard a familiar, friendly voice summoning her...
"This way, D.W."
It was her imaginary friend, Nadine, smiling and holding out a hand.
"I'll take you to a place where he can't see you," Nadine offered.
"Is there such a place?" asked D.W. fearfully.
"Follow me," said Nadine as she turned and walked into a dark alley. D.W. followed her hesitantly.
After a few moments of wandering in darkness, D.W. and Nadine came upon a large metal door with a dim light at the top. A sign on the front of the door read, DO NOT ENTER UNDER PAIN OF DEATH. THAT MEANS YOU, D.W.
"What does it say?" asked D.W.
"I can't read," said Nadine as she pushed open the door.
As D.W. followed Nadine through the doorway, she found to her delight that she was in a bright, colorful fantasy world. She noticed many of her friends frolicking among the flowers and trees...Mary Moo Cow, Spanky the parakeet, Walter the deer, and Toady the toad. So thrilled was D.W., she didn't notice that the doorway she had come through had disappeared.
"Hey, look! There's D.W.!" cried Walter jubilantly. Suddenly all of the residents of the fantasy land converged upon D.W. and Nadine, greeting them warmly.
"Hey D.W., Hey D.W., we love you, yes we do..." they sang.
After several hours of merriment with her friends, D.W. held Toady to her cheek and sighed happily. "It's so beautiful here. I never want to leave."
Suddenly Nadine, who stood nearby, started to speak with Arthur's voice.
"You never will! Muwahahahaha!"
Nadine yanked off the mask that was her face, revealing Arthur's visage behind it.
D.W. gasped in horror. "Nooooo..."
"Did you really think you could escape me?" said Mary Moo Cow as she removed her costume, revealing Arthur inside.
D.W. started to run away, but found her path blocked by what appeared to be Arthur's head attached to the body of Walter the deer.
"You and I are going to spend a long time together! Muwahahahahaha!"
Soon all the residents of the fantasy land were laughing evilly, as D.W. cried out in despair...
"Muwahahahaha!" said Arthur again and again, sounding more evil with each laugh.
The door to his bedroom opened once again, and D.W. poked her head inside nervously.
"That's a lot better," she said, "but can you stop now? You're scaring me to death."
"Oh, come on, D.W.," Arthur grumbled. "In two more days I'll be in Hollywood, and you'll get to enjoy the whole weekend without me."
"I wish you'd go to Hollywood and just stay there," said D.W. angrily.
Arthur glared at her. "Well, I wish you'd go to..."
"Kids, no fighting," called Mrs. Read from the upstairs bathroom.
"We're not fighting," Arthur called back. "We're acting."
D.W. stuck out her tongue, made an ugly face at Arthur, and stepped out of his bedroom, closing the door after her.
"Hmph," said Arthur smugly. He put down the script for the school play and picked up another script from his desk.
"Holy guacamole, Bionic Bunny!" he recited. "If I didn't know better, I'd say somebody's trying to take over the world!"
(to be continued)
"What are the jobs?" asked Arthur curiously.
"He's training to be a nurse."
"A nurse?" Arthur was slightly taken aback. "You mean, like, at a hospital? I thought nurses were all women."
"Not anymore," said Fern. "Times are changing."
"What's the other job?"
----
In front of Crosswire Motors, Mr. Frensky stood at the top of a ladder, applying a nail gun to a large sign attached to two wooden posts. In huge red letters the sign read, CLOSE THE CASINO. DAISY MACK ARMSTRONG FOR MAYOR.
After shooting off a few more nails, Mr. Frensky flipped the safety switch on the nail gun and started to descend the ladder. Waiting for him at the bottom were Mr. Crosswire, Mrs. Armstrong, Muffy, and Sue Ellen, all wearing "Armstrong for Mayor" campaign buttons.
"Ah, you're here," said Mr. Frensky when he saw Mrs. Armstrong. "How do you like it?"
"Lovely," she replied. "Just lovely. I think I'll keep you on."
Mr. Frensky put on his handyman belt and placed the nail gun in its holster. "You know, Daisy, for a modest pay raise, I might consider lying into the camera and telling everybody that I really was pondering suicide."
"You can't mean that," said the perturbed Muffy.
"Hey, if it helps win the election and shut down the casino, I'm all for it," said Mr. Frensky.
"In politics, appearances are everything," said Mrs. Armstrong wisely. "He was sitting on the edge of a bridge over a river. Even if I hadn't said anything, everybody would have assumed..."
At that moment her cell phone rang, and she picked it up. "Daisy Mack Armstrong for Mayor, this is Daisy, how may I help you?"
"When did your mom get a cell phone?" Muffy asked Sue Ellen.
"She's had one for a long time," Sue Ellen answered. "Yours isn't the only family in town that can afford wireless service, you know."
The two girls started to wander around the car lot. "I just want you to know that my parents and I are behind your mom one hundred percent," said Muffy.
"So are a lot of other people," said Sue Ellen. "She's been getting calls all day."
"How's your dad taking all of this?"
"He supports her. But he's still upset that Mom didn't discuss it with him before announcing it on TV."
"So," Muffy said with a hint of concern, "if your mom wins the election, what does that mean? No more moving around the world?"
Sue Ellen stopped and looked thoughtful. "Hmm...I hadn't thought about that..."
----
"Mrs. Armstrong's announcement surprised all of us," said Arthur to the newscaster. "Everyone was excited about it. I didn't really have time to think about it, because I had to get ready for both the school play and my first Bionic Bunny episode. I discovered that I could get a lot done if I didn't watch TV, eat, or sleep..."
----
"...then it occurred to me that I could use that knowledge to my advantage, and become an evil landlord myself! Bwahahahaha!"
Suddenly the door to Arthur's bedroom burst open, revealing an angry D.W.
"Arthur Read, that's the four hundredth time I've heard you say that!"
"How do you know?" said Arthur as he lowered his script. "You can't count that high."
"I don't care," said D.W., pointing a threatening finger at Arthur. "If I hear you say it one more time, my brain will explode, and it'll be your fault!"
D.W. slammed the door, and Arthur looked down at his script.
Then the door opened once more. "And your evil laugh stinks!" D.W. added.
As D.W. slammed the door closed again, Arthur realized with sadness that she was right...his evil laugh wasn't convincing in the slightest.
He thought about how Mr. Haney had goaded Brain into evil laughter using the prospect of global domination...
"That's it," he told himself. "I need an evil desire. If I concentrate on the evil desire, then my evil laughter will be sincere."
Arthur had always been such a good kid...but surely there was some hidden demon within his heart...
He imagined D.W. making her way down a shadowy alleyway, glancing about nervously. A cat dined on rotting food in a garbage can nearby. As D.W. walked carefully through the shadows, she repeatedly passed the same two posters attached to the walls. One of them showed a picture of Arthur's glowering face, accompanied by the words, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU. The other featured the words WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
The alleyway led D.W. to a busy street that was apparently in the middle of a large city. Plastered on all the towers were larger versions of the posters she had seen earlier. On a gigantic video screen attached to the side of one building, Arthur's disembodied face barked orders and propaganda to the masses below.
D.W. recognized two of the people who were coming down the sidewalk...they were her parents. They smiled idiotically and continually muttered the same words over and over. As they passed D.W.'s position without seeing her, she was able to make out the words they were repeating:
"Must...keep...smiling... Must...keep...smiling..."
Terrified, D.W. scurried back into the shadows of the alleyway. Then she heard a familiar, friendly voice summoning her...
"This way, D.W."
It was her imaginary friend, Nadine, smiling and holding out a hand.
"I'll take you to a place where he can't see you," Nadine offered.
"Is there such a place?" asked D.W. fearfully.
"Follow me," said Nadine as she turned and walked into a dark alley. D.W. followed her hesitantly.
After a few moments of wandering in darkness, D.W. and Nadine came upon a large metal door with a dim light at the top. A sign on the front of the door read, DO NOT ENTER UNDER PAIN OF DEATH. THAT MEANS YOU, D.W.
"What does it say?" asked D.W.
"I can't read," said Nadine as she pushed open the door.
As D.W. followed Nadine through the doorway, she found to her delight that she was in a bright, colorful fantasy world. She noticed many of her friends frolicking among the flowers and trees...Mary Moo Cow, Spanky the parakeet, Walter the deer, and Toady the toad. So thrilled was D.W., she didn't notice that the doorway she had come through had disappeared.
"Hey, look! There's D.W.!" cried Walter jubilantly. Suddenly all of the residents of the fantasy land converged upon D.W. and Nadine, greeting them warmly.
"Hey D.W., Hey D.W., we love you, yes we do..." they sang.
After several hours of merriment with her friends, D.W. held Toady to her cheek and sighed happily. "It's so beautiful here. I never want to leave."
Suddenly Nadine, who stood nearby, started to speak with Arthur's voice.
"You never will! Muwahahahaha!"
Nadine yanked off the mask that was her face, revealing Arthur's visage behind it.
D.W. gasped in horror. "Nooooo..."
"Did you really think you could escape me?" said Mary Moo Cow as she removed her costume, revealing Arthur inside.
D.W. started to run away, but found her path blocked by what appeared to be Arthur's head attached to the body of Walter the deer.
"You and I are going to spend a long time together! Muwahahahahaha!"
Soon all the residents of the fantasy land were laughing evilly, as D.W. cried out in despair...
"Muwahahahaha!" said Arthur again and again, sounding more evil with each laugh.
The door to his bedroom opened once again, and D.W. poked her head inside nervously.
"That's a lot better," she said, "but can you stop now? You're scaring me to death."
"Oh, come on, D.W.," Arthur grumbled. "In two more days I'll be in Hollywood, and you'll get to enjoy the whole weekend without me."
"I wish you'd go to Hollywood and just stay there," said D.W. angrily.
Arthur glared at her. "Well, I wish you'd go to..."
"Kids, no fighting," called Mrs. Read from the upstairs bathroom.
"We're not fighting," Arthur called back. "We're acting."
D.W. stuck out her tongue, made an ugly face at Arthur, and stepped out of his bedroom, closing the door after her.
"Hmph," said Arthur smugly. He put down the script for the school play and picked up another script from his desk.
"Holy guacamole, Bionic Bunny!" he recited. "If I didn't know better, I'd say somebody's trying to take over the world!"
(to be continued)
