AUTHOR'S NOTE I'm trying to be better with posting, I swear! It's hard but I'm really trying.

DISCLAIMER I don't own anyone in this story. No one!

NEW CHARACTER

Jeff Jeff Probst is the host of CBS's hit reality show Survivor. He runs challenges and tribal councils, checks up on the survivors, and smiles throughout the whole thing.

THE QUAFFLE MYSTERY Chapter 11

*the villains have gathered their minions on a Quidditch Pitch conveniently located behind their castle*

*7 broomsticks and the 4 quidditch balls lie on the field*

Voldemort: First I feel that we must assign players. Could all forms of minions please come forward?

*various creatures step forward*

*Voldemort studies the group*

Voldemort: Three flying monkeys will be our chasers.

Wicked Witch: *grinning* They will serve you well!

Voldemort: The Uruk-Hai shall be our Keeper. Two members of the Shredder's Foot Clan shall play Beaters and the bird shall be our Seeker.

Iago: Whoa, what?

Voldemort: You can fly on your own and are small. You are the ideal Seeker, regardless of the fact that you are competing against Harry Potter.

Iago: Harry Potter? But McGonagall said he's the youngest Seeker of the century!

Darth Vader: How do you know this?

Iago: Uh, hello? I have seen the movie!

Shredder: How, sire, do you plan to teach these various creatures to play what appears to be a complicated game? Not to mention teaching them to fly.

*Voldemort smiles*

Voldemort: A simple task.

*he pulls out his wand and mutters an incantation*

*the assigned Quidditch players immediately leap onto their broomsticks and handle the Quidditch balls like professional players*

Shredder: Most impressive!

*the Emperor comes out of the castle*

Emperor: Excellent! Soon we shall defeat our enemies and return to rule our worlds!

*he cackles evilly*

*****

*the path suddenly ends*

Pippin: Hey! The path ended!

*Legolas restrains Aragorn, who looks ready to murder the hobbit*

Merry: *wide-eyed* What's that?

*he points to the ocean, which appeared to one side when the path ended*

Legolas: *in an awed whisper* The sea!

Sebastian: Home!

*everyone jumps, having completely forgotten that he was there*

Oliver: Look!

*he points to a field on the opposite side of the path*

Oliver: Now we can practice!

*everyone groans and rolls their eyes*

*Harry, like a good Seeker, leads the team to the field*

Sebastian: It's been fun, but I gotta get back to the Kingdom. Belle, Dumbo, Stitch, I'll see you at the next reunion!

Belle: Goodbye Sebastian! Say hi to King Triton for me!

*Sebastian nods and leaps into the waves*

Aragorn: King Triton?

Belle: Mm-hmm. Sebastian is an advisor of sorts to Triton, King of the mer-people.

Jason: Mer-people?

Dumbo: Mermaids.

Legolas: I have heard tell of mermaids! Elvish legends of beautiful maidens with the tails of fish who live underwater between Middle Earth and the Undying Lands.

*Aragorn glances warningly at Legolas*

Aragorn: Your heart wanders, my friend.

Legolas: *firmly* It absolutely does not!

Belle: *curiously* Wanders from what?

Legolas: Nothing.

*the remainder of the group watched the Quidditch team practice*

*Oliver has fashioned 6 broomsticks from tree branches*

Oliver: Ok. First you all need to learn to fly. Step up to your brooms. Dumbo, you can fly on your own, so you don't need a broom.

*Dumbo nods*

*Stitch, Merry, Pippin, and Luke all stand next to broomsticks*

Harry: Now watch me. Up!

*at his word, the makeshift broom leaps into his hand*

Pippin: Wow!

Oliver: You all try it.

*everyone copies Harry*

Luke: *in a soft voice* Up!

*the broom leaps to his hand*

*no one else has success*

Harry: *studying the players* Hmm. Uh, Wood?

Oliver: What Harry?

Harry: I think there might be a problem. Stitch and the two hobbits…I think they're Muggles.

*Oliver thinks for a minute*

Oliver: There is one thing we can do. But we'd have to keep it a secret.

Harry: Of course.

Oliver: Luke and Dumbo! Come over here and stand with Harry and me.

*Luke and Dumbo join Oliver and Harry to face Merry, Pippin, and Stitch*

*Oliver pulls out his wand and softly murmurs an incantation*

*Merry, Pippin, and Stitch immediately leap onto their brooms and fly like they have years of experience*

Merry: Wow!

Harry: Bloody Hell, Wood! What was that?

Oliver: A very illegal talent spell. It can give anyone the skills of a professional Quidditch player. It was outlawed by the Ministry, who was afraid of rigged Quidditch matches.

Harry: So then, how do you know it?

Oliver: Fred and George. They found out about it somehow and taught it to me.

Harry: How did they know?

Oliver: I didn't ask.

Harry: *laughing* Good idea!

Oliver: Come on!

*he takes a broom and flies up to joint the team*

*Luke and Harry follow*

*Dumbo, with a running start, takes off*

Legolas: There is strong magic at work here.

Aragorn: My friend?

Legolas: *softly* But strong dark magic as well.

Aragorn: How do you know this?

*Legolas says nothing, only watches intently*

*****

*the evil Quidditch team has lined up in front of the line of villains*

Voldemort: We are ready!

Emperor: Excellent!

Rita: But what do we do now?

*before anyone can reply, a man in khaki jungle gear comes out of the castle*

Jeff: Congratulations! You've completed the first part of your challenge.

Wicked Witch: Huh?

Magneto: Challenge?

Saruman: What is this devilry you speak of?

Jeff: *grinning* No devilry sir. Please follow me.

Dr. Doom: Who?

Jeff: Everyone!

*they all shrug and follow Jeff off through the woods*

*he leads them to a large genuine Quidditch stadium*

Jeff: Teams will find broomsticks in your designated area off the pitch. All spectators please will remain in the stands. I will be back.

*he turns to leave*

Emperor: You will not go anywhere!

Jeff: I have to go get the other team. Look, I know that this world is your creation, Palpitine.

*all other villains glare at him shocked and angry*

Jeff: But you have no power over me! I'm stuck here just to explain everything. And I'll be back.