SEVERUS SNAPE AND THE REVENGE OF THE GOTH GIRLS
"This is SO the last straw," Snape yelled as he nailed loose plywood over his door from the inside. He paused to listen to the scratching on the roof. He ran to the fireplace and looked up the chimney.
Several thousand freaky goth girls were repelling down the chimney flue, using the natural clingy tenacity of their PVC spiked-heeled platforms to get traction against the brick walls. 80's lunchboxes clanging ominously, they descended from above like a black cloud of. . .well, black stuff.
"Eat this, you Lestat-loving bastards," Snape laughed insanely as he lit a blazing fire inside the fireplace. The smell of burning black spandex filled the room. Agonized shrieks rent the countryside as the goth girls escaped back onto the roof, their arm warmers melted to their skin. Snape laughed again and charged out a window, brandishing a Lady Wesson handgun and firing at random.
"Don't do it, Snape!" several thousand freaky goth girls yelled. "Even though it only makes you more of a tragically violent and misunderstood character!"
"I'M NOT MISUNDERSTOOD, YOU FREAKS!" he screamed. "I'm just a jerk! Do you hear me! I'M A MEAN-SPIRITED JERK!"
"This is SO the last straw," Snape yelled as he nailed loose plywood over his door from the inside. He paused to listen to the scratching on the roof. He ran to the fireplace and looked up the chimney.
Several thousand freaky goth girls were repelling down the chimney flue, using the natural clingy tenacity of their PVC spiked-heeled platforms to get traction against the brick walls. 80's lunchboxes clanging ominously, they descended from above like a black cloud of. . .well, black stuff.
"Eat this, you Lestat-loving bastards," Snape laughed insanely as he lit a blazing fire inside the fireplace. The smell of burning black spandex filled the room. Agonized shrieks rent the countryside as the goth girls escaped back onto the roof, their arm warmers melted to their skin. Snape laughed again and charged out a window, brandishing a Lady Wesson handgun and firing at random.
"Don't do it, Snape!" several thousand freaky goth girls yelled. "Even though it only makes you more of a tragically violent and misunderstood character!"
"I'M NOT MISUNDERSTOOD, YOU FREAKS!" he screamed. "I'm just a jerk! Do you hear me! I'M A MEAN-SPIRITED JERK!"
