SEVERUS SNAPE AND A SLASH PANEL ABOUT HIM

(written after Nimbus 2003)

"So what we really know about Snape is only derived to what we read in the official canon," the moderator summed up, while a group of a hundred or so rapt congoers sat on the floor in front of her. There was a round of applause and cheers.

"Excuse me," Snape muttered as he made his way into the door of the convention room. He edged through the crowd and seated himself in the corner, next to a pair of Ravenclaw-bedecked girls who commenced staring at him in total fascination.

"And now," the moderator continued with a sly wink, "the topic you've all been waiting for. . . SLASH FICTION DISCUSSION!"

Wild cheers and hollers erupted from the mostly all-female attendance. Several girls began chanting lewd phrases that sounded suspiciously as though they contained the name Draco.

Snape shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 'What does 'slash' mean?" he asked a girl next to him. She continued to stare fixedly at him, not saying a word. Snape glared at her and turned back to the discussion.

"So," one girl in the audience asked hesitantly, her face glowing in embarrassment, "what does everyone think of. . . of Snape and. . . HARRY? Like. . .together?" There were more screams of approval from the audience.

"Together where?" Snape asked out loud. "Isn't this panel part of the Feline Fanciers' Convention?" He nervously tried to edge out of his seat towards the door, but the crowd kept him firmly pressed in his seat. More girls were now excitedly chattering and waving their hands in crude gestures.

"I think that Snape really just needs someone to turn to, because of his isolated life, and thus he naturally would open up to one of his students. . . Harry being the best candidate," the moderator answered blithely, while Snape fidgeted even more.

"Sexually speaking," she added.

"THAT'S IT!" Snape shouted, his face burning red. "I am SO out of here!"

"And get your foot OUT of my pant leg!" he screamed at the girl next to him.