A/N Bet you all loved that cliffhanger last time. I'm sorry but I love writing cliffhangers. Think about it, at least it assures me that you guys will come back to read the rest right? Okay, this chapter is pretty emotional so take out your handkerchiefs just in case. Oh, and by the way, this story is almost finished. I think there'll only be about one or two chapters left and that's all. I'm planning a new fanfic, an Escaflowne fic, check my bio for more info.

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any of the characters. Although I really wish I owned Vash and Wolfwood…but I don't. So let me weep in peace.

Return Forever

. Perhaps Vash's punch would have crushed another man's face. Knives was not another man. His head snapped to the side, taking his mouth from Meryl's with him.

Meryl immediately leaned away, gasping for air. Unfortunately, although Knives was momentarily taken unawares, his grip on her did not lesson and thus making it useless to attempt to escape. She looked around for the owner of the fist and saw her savior.

"Vash!" exclaimed Meryl in both relief and hope.

Vash rubbed his fist thoughtfully. "You still have a hard head, brother."

There was a click as the mechanisms in his fake arm and his automatic gun notched into place and swung up to Knives's face. Vash blinked slightly, he had taken the gun out instinctively without thinking. He hadn't really meant to take up arms but there was no stopping now. Good thing his instincts were sharp then.

"Let go of Meryl," he said, eyes meeting Knives's.

"Or what?" Knives replied tauntingly, eyebrow raised, undaunted at the gun in his face.

Meryl looked from Vash to Knives, worried. She knew Vash would never actually shoot Knives, at least not to kill.

Knives shifted Meryl to one arm and placed his free hand on the notch of Vash's gun. "You know, Vash, you've shot me three times already and I survived them all. Do you really think shooting me now will get rid of me?"

"It won't kill," Vash notched the gun up to Knives's face, "but it'll do damage."

"Ha! Of course it won't kill you fool! You'd never kill me of all people!"

"Even though you deserve it most," Meryl murmured under her breath.

She regretted her words instantly. Being so close to Knives, he could naturally hear it. A hand clipped under her chin and jerked it up.

Knives wide, crazed eyes peered at her face wildly. "Trying to make me angry are you, little Meryl-spider?" he whispered.

"Don't touch her!" Vash yelled.

Without looking away, Knives replaced a hand on Vash's gun and shoved him back, sending Vash into a wall.

Frightened, Meryl trembled as Knives's face inched closer.

"I meant what I said about spiders, I'm going to get rid of them all," Knives breathed in her face. Seeing her tremble, Knives smiled. "Don't be so scared, little Meryl-spider. I won't destroy you with all the others. You'll stay with me."

"You psycho," Meryl snarled at him. "You're crazy, Knives."

Knives's mouth parted to reply but then his eyes swiveled to the side. Meryl followed his gaze to the gun once again pointed at his face.

"Shove me fall down, I'll just get back up again," said Vash, carefully aiming. "Don't make me say it again, let go of Meryl."

Vash looked different right there. Meryl could see the reluctance in his eyes to draw his gun. She saw the deeper need to kill his brother right then and there for all his sins, but there was reluctance mixed into that too, Vash didn't want to take a human life again. That part was normal. What was different was the way he held his arm steady and his aim true, he really was prepared to pull the trigger on his brother, he was just waiting for an excuse not to. If Vash were normal, only misfortunate circumstances would make him pull it and he wouldn't even be aiming correctly at that. But now, Vash's will was on the trigger as well, he would pull it willingly if he had to.

What could make him this way? Meryl thought. What could motivate him to be so…prepared to kill? The answer was obvious to anyone else: it was herself. The answer it hit her with a smack, but Meryl wasn't prepared to believe it.

Both brothers were staring at each other, challenging each other. Knives had noticed this subtle change in Vash as well.

"You're actually going to shoot, aren't you?" Knives asked, voice soft with surprise.

"I don't want to, brother, but I will if I have to," Vash said firmly.

"My god! You're actually going to shoot me, for the fourth time!"  (A/N okay I'm just speculating on the three times part, it works with the phrase "three times a charm." I THINK Vash only shot Knives three times if you count the one on the last episode, but feel free to contradict me. ^-^)

"I don't have to if you let go of Meryl," Vash replied.

"Isn't three times enough, Vash? Must you shoot me a fourth time?!"

"You give me no choice, Knives!" Vash yelled. He notched the gun again warningly. "I'm not just threatening to do this for Meryl! I'm threatening because of all the pain you've caused me! How many innocent lives have you made me take, Knives? Do you know how much I've suffered all this time? Huh? Do you?"

Vash was taking hard breaths now. His eyes were hard and his voice passionate. Knives stared at him silently as he went on.

"It's not just for me either. It's for Rem, for what you did to Rem and the rest of the crew on Project Seed. If it weren't for you they'd all still be alive. Maybe they would even have made their dream of a living planet come true and there'd be no need to kill. Damn it Knives, we would have been happy, you would have been happy. Rem loved us, Knives, she even loved you for all you're worth. She just wanted to teach us, about life and the world. That's what you've been working for all this time, isn't it Knives? You want to kill the spiders so that you can give the butterflies life. Well that's what Rem taught us about all this time! If you hadn't killed her she would have taught us how to save both butterflies and spiders. But you killed her before she had the chance!"

"How do you know this?" Knives asked, challenging him. "How do you know that bitch knows all that? She doesn't know anything about life! If you want life to continue, you have to sacrifice something in return. And sometimes that sacrifice is others."

"How do I know? I know because I knew Rem best! You never stopped to think about her words; maybe if you had then you'd be different. But instead you decided to be selfish and take their lives."

"How dare you call me selfish you stinking bastard."

Meryl shrank away from Knives's hand, still on her chin and he let it go distractedly. Knives looked frightening now that he was enraged. His grip on her tightened painfully.

"You think I'm selfish? Me? If I were selfish I would have left you at the crash wreckage to die. Don't you remember? I took care of you all those years afterward. I gave you that gun. I was willing to share my success with you. I wanted to create a world where nobody would kill each other so that you wouldn't have to kill. I was thinking about you all along. Why? Because I cared about you, brother," Knives spat. "And how do you repay me? You shot me. And you call me the selfish one?"

Vash's grip on the gun shook angrily. "Look Knives, I agree that three times is enough. Please don't make me do this. It's simple, let go of Meryl, she won't run away, will you?"

Meryl disagreed but nodded anyway.

"Come on, Knives," Vash pleaded desperately.

Knives seemed to contemplate for a moment. "Three times shooting is enough for you to do Vash," he said softly. He slid down the gun to Vash's hand, which he gripped. "You won't forgive me until I'm dead, but you won't let me die. Am I twisted enough to make someone like you feel that way?"

Knives turned his head to Meryl, who flinched at his gaze. "I was serious when I said that I wouldn't kill you, Meryl. I really was going to spare your life."

Meryl stared, moved. "What do you mean?" she whispered.

"I really wanted you to stay with me," Knives answered. He flicked his eyes at Vash. "I really did care, Vash," he said grimly.

Suddenly, Vash felt his fingers shoved aside out of the gun, Knives now held the trigger.

Smiling, Knives swung the gun up to his mouth and parted his lips. Closing his eyes, Knives pulled the trigger.

"No Knives no!" Vash screamed as Knives's head jerked back from the gun's impact, a spray of bright blood splattering the ground.

His body crumpled against Meryl's. Meryl cringed as Knives's body forced her to the ground. Her heart was racing and her breaths were ragged. His arm still gripped her tightly, his heavy body pinned her down. Knives's head fell face-down next to Meryl's, blood dripping in his white-blonde hair. At that moment, Meryl really thought she was going to lay there with the corpse on top of her forever. She closed her eyes and lay her head back.

Knives's body was lifted off her. Meryl felt body heat nearby. She opened her eyes wearily and looked up at Vash's tear-streaked face.

Vash looked up at her, eyes sad. Knives lay somewhere to the side. He gave Meryl and hand and pulled her up. Spotting her hair ribbon on the ground, Vash picked it up and gently tied it back into her hair.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Meryl said dully. She wasn't sure if she was lying or not.

"Good."

Meryl could see Vash trying to smile, trying to act his usual self as if nothing had happened. She watched him fail.

"Meryl?" Vash whispered, like a small child.

Meryl held out her arms and caught Vash as he sagged forward. Vash's weight was too much for Meryl to handle and she sank to her knees, Vash clutching her and crying in her shoulder.

"I didn't mean to do it, Meryl," Vash rasped. "I didn't want to but I did it anyway-"

"You didn't shoot him, Vash," Meryl said reassuringly. "You saw it. Knives forced your hand away and shot himself. You didn't shoot him," she repeated.

"But it was my gun that killed him," Vash whispered hoarsely.

Meryl couldn't deny that and said nothing. She stroked Vash's head soothingly, trying to ease the pain while Vash sobbed silently. She didn't know how long they stayed there, she didn't even notice the cramping in her legs. Meryl only saw Vash's pain.

In the end, Vash sat back, picked up Knives's body and walked back, Meryl walking next to him. They were respectfully silent, as if they were walking in Knives's funeral march. As they reached the house, Vash said to Meryl, "Go inside without me, I'd like to be alone now." Meryl nodded.

Milly opened the door just as Meryl raised her hand to the doorknob. "Oh Sempai!" Milly exclaimed and threw her arms around Meryl. "Sempai, oh Sempai, I was so worried. I shouldn't have let you out of the house alone, I'm so sorry! I just stupidly thought Knives had gone back to his room and…" Milly trailed off and looked around. "Where is Knives-san anyway?"

Meryl looked out the window and pointed wordlessly. Vash had lain Knives down on the ground and had somehow found a shovel. He was vigorously digging. Meryl and Milly watched silently as he dug a grave and carefully lay Knives down in it, and bury him. Before laying the last bit of soil onto the grave, Vash paused and reached inside his pocket. He took out something small and round and cautiously placed it down. He tossed the last bit of soil over it. He reached behind him and picked up a cup of water and sprinkled the water onto it. Vash then picked up a stake and marked the grave.

"What did you bury with Knives?" Meryl asked Vash as he walked in.

Vash paused and looked at her. "When I and Knives fought, there was a tree near by. Before I left, I picked an acorn from that tree in hopes of growing some more trees like it." He smiled wearily. "Maybe by planting that acorn with Knives, I'm giving him life again, you know? Maybe it'll work."

"Vash, it wasn't your fault," Meryl insisted.

Vash held up a hand, cutting her off. "Do you want to use the bath first, Meryl?" he asked.

Surprised at this odd question, Meryl nodded. She felt surprisingly dirty for some reason that she didn't know.

As she filled the bath in the bathroom, Meryl soon realized that she didn't feel so much as dirty but unclean. Meyrl could still feel warm in the places where Knives had touched her. The skin on her neck was crawling and her cheeks felt smudgy. Meryl rubbed her face and she couldn't shake off that feeling of uncleanness. She hurriedly stepped into the bath, restless to get this feeling away. She splashed her face with water. Moaning, she could still feel the soft touch of Knives's lips on her face and neck. Then she held her mouth to her lips. Horrified, she spat, trying to get the taste of Knives out. Rapidly she grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed her face with it. She still couldn't shake the feeling of Knives off of her. She even washed her mouth out with the soap.

Meryl finally leaned against the tub, exhausted after the many washings. She was vaguely aware that her skin was red from the soap, somehow she couldn't care less. She put her face in her hands and started to cry.

What is it with Knives?

Knives had said that he would have let her live after he killed all of the humans, he would have kept her with him. That sounded almost as if he were in love with her or something. Was he finally getting a heart then?

Meryl was so confused. She wiped the tears from her face and climbed out of the tub. Perhaps she would never understand those layers and layers underneath Knives, but then did she really want to?

She found Vash in his room. Meryl stopped to look at him. Vash had that same gentle, fragile look on his face as he did when he had killed Legato. There was that sadness, that innocent sadness that he didn't and would never deserve.

Vash started in surprise when Meryl hugged him. He glanced down at Meryl, whose face was buried in his chest, and laid an arm around her.

"Why're you doing this?" he asked.

"You looked like you needed a hug" Meryl explain, tightening her arms around him.

Vash gave a small smile above her head. "Why aren't you afraid of me?" he asked quietly.

Meryl looked up at him in surprise. "Don't you know already?"

Vash smiled sadly and said, "Right, sorry." He was silent for a moment. "I'm a monster," he said.

"You're not a monster, Vash!" Meryl said furiously. "I'd better not hear you say that ever again!"

"Right." Vash began to look even more fragile. "But how can you stand someone like me, Meryl? How?"

Meryl stared at him incredulously. Then without thinking, she leaned forward and gently gave him a small kiss. It took a moment for both of them to register this action.

"Ah," Meryl gasped. "Sorry," she said, shyly. What had come over her right then? She was about to look away but found Vash's sad eyes on hers. They both leaned toward each other and gave each other a deeper kiss.

A/N I'm sure all the Knives fans hate me now, but hey, at least Knives had a turn of conscience, right? Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing, wow, 15 review in one day, I'm gonna faint! Well, then again that's not very much compared to other people, I mean, I've seen someone who got 200 reviews o.0

By the way, when you review, can someone please tell me the name of the insurance company that Meryl and Milly work for? I forgotten at the moment.