Well here is ch 12! Talk about stating the obvious, but couldn't think of
anything else to say! Hope you all like, and as always please R/R!
Title: Hope and Despair
Rating: ummm about PG-13 for violence and angst.
Disclaimer:hmmmm let me think........... Nope! Not ours!! Sorry!!!! If you are looking for hte owners, you have the wrong people! Have a nice day!
A/N: Well this a first. Rhonda's first fic and my first co-authored fic. Hope everyone enjoys, feedback is always welcome!
Please Note: Much like Cassia and Sio, we feel that when Tolkien said that Aragorn was "raised in the house of Lord Elrond" he meant that Estel grew up in Rivendell with Elrond as his father and the twins as his brothers. Also in this fic (again like Cassia and Sio) we feel that Aragorn's mother died along with Arathorn, and she has no place in this fic.
Iawen Londea: Thank you for the compliments! You'll see how things work out for Estel! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!
Firniswin: Thanks for the review! Sure, I'm sure you could do a much better job of the pic than I could! Btw, What is the URL for you site? Just out of curiosity! Glad you had a nice b-day!
Aemilia Rose: Lol! Trust me I share your opinion on Thaynes, but I didn't want to make Elrond too harsh, and don't worry there is going to be a sequel to this, Thaynes will get what's coming to him, eventually!
Jazmine: Thank you for the review! I know, Estel is having a hard time! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!
Sabercrazy: Hehe, well ya never know, but not this time, soon, don't worry!! Lol!!! Thanks for reviewing!
Songbird: *grins* Thank you for the compliment, I was really worried about that scene. Lol! Good guess, could be!! I suppose you will just have to keep reading to find out! Hope you like this chapter too! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!
Whew! That was a lot!! *huggles reviewers* You all are the best!
{IMPORTANT!} [Okay guys, I know there are tons of really really weird symbols all in this, it's not my fault! Ff.net has been doing that lately and I can't seem to find anything to make them go away!!!! *SOB* so, if you want a post I guess for now they will have to be there! SO sorry! *begs forgivness* just try and ignore them if you can. Thanks for your time]
Chapter 12
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*Estel's Dream~*
It was dark, very dark. 'This is not a good place' Estel thought. 'Why am I here? Where is here?'
There was not a soul around, and he was in some kind of tent or something. He decided that if he was ever going to learn where 'here' was that he needed to get outside and see if he could identify the land.
As soon as he stepped outside, he wished he hadn't. Orcs were everywhere. They were fighting with people, no men Estel realized upon closer inspection.
The carnage astounded the small boy. He had never really seen a battle such as this before, well not that he could remember. Bodies were everywhere, not only of orcs but of men, women, children. It was horrible to witness.
This all seemed oddly familiar, but why would it? All thoughts flew from his head as the fighting moved towards him and he was forced to run and find someplace to hide, or else be the next casualty.
He quickly hid himself in one of the downed tents that had not been burned and continued to watch the horrible display.
Then two people entered his field of vision, this would not seem all that important, for there were lots of people around fighting, but these caught his attention. They looked...familiar, in the same way this whole place looked familiar, but a little more.
Suddenly it dawned on him what was familiar about the pair, they looked a lot like him. Both dark headed, and lithe for humans, graceful too. He watched in horror as they fought orc after orc. It looked like a beautiful dance, deadly yes, but beautiful never the less.
Estel cried out in shock and alarm as first the man fell and then the woman. It was obvious even to him that they were dead. The man had an arrow in his eye and the woman had been stabbed many times and both were still and unmoving.
It was then Estel saw to figures that he knew. And his first thought was 'What are they doing here?'
" 'Dan? 'Ro?" he whispered in confusion. The two elves did not hear him, but continued to search through all the carnage looking for wounded. It was then that they came upon the man and woman. Both let out startled gasps and knelt down beside the two. They appeared sad at the loss of these humans, but Estel could not remember his brothers ever mentioning having human friends.
Estel began to run to his brothers, he wanted nothing more than to be swept up in their arms and comforted. He wanted them to take him from this place of death back home.
But when he got close enough to them to hear what they were saying he halted and stared at them as if he had never seen them before.
"Damn reckless adan! Just had to get himself into this didn't he? He would not listen to us!! And now we have to go and tell ada of both their passages, and of the burden we all will now have to bear." Elladan muttered harshly.
" 'Tis not the child's fault Elladan" Elrohir reminded his brother to not take it out on the boy.
"I know that! Do you not think I don't? What are we going to do with him? Ada does not need this now!" Elladan finished grimly.
Elrohir knew that his brother was saying these things out of grief for the loss of Arathorn, who had been a good friend to them both, and also out of sorrow for the boy which they would now have to take in for protection. Not necessarily a bad thing, but they both felt it would be hard for the little one, not having his true family, and growing up a human in a world of elves. Elrohir understood this, Estel did not.
'That is what they really think of humans?' Estel thought to himself. 'That is what they really think of me?'
It was at that moment that a great emptiness welled up inside of him. It was if someone had sucked the very life from his heart. His family never wanted him, and not because of him but because of what he was! Oh if he had only been born an elf!! But that was not so, and after all what elf could ever truly love a human? So he was a burden, an obligation, nothing more.
Estel had never felt more alone in his life. He could no longer see his brothers, all he could see was death, and darkness. The deep darkness that burrows itself into the very marrow of the bones, and leaves you feeling colder than a January morning.
Suddenly the darkness shifted and Estel could see a study, he recognized it to be his father's study. Elrond was sitting at his desk, and yes Gandalf was there. Suddenly hearing returned to Estel and he could hear what Gandalf and Elrond were saying to each other.
"Is there no one else Mithrandir?" Elrond asked. He was actually fond of the child, but was not sure if Imaldris would be the best place for the child.
"No mellon nin." Gandalf answered. "His is your kin, distantly yes, but you are the only kin he has left. Also he will be safe in Rivendell, until he is ready for the destiny that awaits him, whatever it may be, he would be better off here than with his own kind."
Elrond sighed. "Very well then. He shall remain here, and be called Estel while he is among us, I will raise him as you ask."
The darkness then shifted once more, and Estel did not get to hear the rest of the conversation, he did not hear how Elrond confessed he had bonded to the small boy in such a small time, and only worried for his safety and happiness.
All Estel heard after that was silence. All he saw was darkness, and he did not care. All of his reasons for existing did not care. He was not loved, and it broke his heart. He felt as though he could go on no longer, it was too much. Not only to be unloved and unwanted, but to be a burden to the ones he loved, he could not take it. This had to end.
~*End Dream~*
Estel sat up in bed with a gasp just as Elrond and the twins entered the room. They rushed to his bed side immediately upon seeing his distress.
"Estel ion nin, was it another bad dream?" Elrond asked gently, trying not to startle the still frightened boy.
"It will be okay now Estel, it was mearly a dream tithen pen" Elladan comforted.
" I am fine." Estel stated quietly. "It is nothing to worry yourselves about, I am sorry if I have disturbed you."
"You did not disturb us little one, we were coming to visit you, our business is finished now." Elrohir told him quietly. "What troubles you so Estel? Why will you not talk to us? What are these dreams about? Perhaps if you tell us we can help." Elrohir finished, asking the questions on everyone's mind.
"It is nothing Elrohir, do not worry, I do not even remember what they are about, you can not help." Estel answered in the same bleak tone he had used since awakening.
"Very well ion nin, when you are ready to talk we will be here to listen. As for now, lunch is being served, you are not well enough to get out of bed, but we will bring some to you." Elrond stated, puzzling over the actions of his youngest. He knew that Estel would tell them in his own time.
"Thank you, that will be fine. You all need to eat too." Estel stated simply, once again with his bleak tone, though he said more than normal this time.
All of them were tired of that bleak voice, and they all would give anything to have the old Estel back, where did that joyful little boy go? Would he ever return, for they all missed him terribly.
TBC........
Ion nin -my son
Tithen pen- Little one
mellon nin- My friend
Ada- Father/daddy
adan- human
Well that's it till next time!
Namaarie everyone!
Title: Hope and Despair
Rating: ummm about PG-13 for violence and angst.
Disclaimer:hmmmm let me think........... Nope! Not ours!! Sorry!!!! If you are looking for hte owners, you have the wrong people! Have a nice day!
A/N: Well this a first. Rhonda's first fic and my first co-authored fic. Hope everyone enjoys, feedback is always welcome!
Please Note: Much like Cassia and Sio, we feel that when Tolkien said that Aragorn was "raised in the house of Lord Elrond" he meant that Estel grew up in Rivendell with Elrond as his father and the twins as his brothers. Also in this fic (again like Cassia and Sio) we feel that Aragorn's mother died along with Arathorn, and she has no place in this fic.
Iawen Londea: Thank you for the compliments! You'll see how things work out for Estel! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!
Firniswin: Thanks for the review! Sure, I'm sure you could do a much better job of the pic than I could! Btw, What is the URL for you site? Just out of curiosity! Glad you had a nice b-day!
Aemilia Rose: Lol! Trust me I share your opinion on Thaynes, but I didn't want to make Elrond too harsh, and don't worry there is going to be a sequel to this, Thaynes will get what's coming to him, eventually!
Jazmine: Thank you for the review! I know, Estel is having a hard time! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!
Sabercrazy: Hehe, well ya never know, but not this time, soon, don't worry!! Lol!!! Thanks for reviewing!
Songbird: *grins* Thank you for the compliment, I was really worried about that scene. Lol! Good guess, could be!! I suppose you will just have to keep reading to find out! Hope you like this chapter too! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!
Whew! That was a lot!! *huggles reviewers* You all are the best!
{IMPORTANT!} [Okay guys, I know there are tons of really really weird symbols all in this, it's not my fault! Ff.net has been doing that lately and I can't seem to find anything to make them go away!!!! *SOB* so, if you want a post I guess for now they will have to be there! SO sorry! *begs forgivness* just try and ignore them if you can. Thanks for your time]
Chapter 12
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*Estel's Dream~*
It was dark, very dark. 'This is not a good place' Estel thought. 'Why am I here? Where is here?'
There was not a soul around, and he was in some kind of tent or something. He decided that if he was ever going to learn where 'here' was that he needed to get outside and see if he could identify the land.
As soon as he stepped outside, he wished he hadn't. Orcs were everywhere. They were fighting with people, no men Estel realized upon closer inspection.
The carnage astounded the small boy. He had never really seen a battle such as this before, well not that he could remember. Bodies were everywhere, not only of orcs but of men, women, children. It was horrible to witness.
This all seemed oddly familiar, but why would it? All thoughts flew from his head as the fighting moved towards him and he was forced to run and find someplace to hide, or else be the next casualty.
He quickly hid himself in one of the downed tents that had not been burned and continued to watch the horrible display.
Then two people entered his field of vision, this would not seem all that important, for there were lots of people around fighting, but these caught his attention. They looked...familiar, in the same way this whole place looked familiar, but a little more.
Suddenly it dawned on him what was familiar about the pair, they looked a lot like him. Both dark headed, and lithe for humans, graceful too. He watched in horror as they fought orc after orc. It looked like a beautiful dance, deadly yes, but beautiful never the less.
Estel cried out in shock and alarm as first the man fell and then the woman. It was obvious even to him that they were dead. The man had an arrow in his eye and the woman had been stabbed many times and both were still and unmoving.
It was then Estel saw to figures that he knew. And his first thought was 'What are they doing here?'
" 'Dan? 'Ro?" he whispered in confusion. The two elves did not hear him, but continued to search through all the carnage looking for wounded. It was then that they came upon the man and woman. Both let out startled gasps and knelt down beside the two. They appeared sad at the loss of these humans, but Estel could not remember his brothers ever mentioning having human friends.
Estel began to run to his brothers, he wanted nothing more than to be swept up in their arms and comforted. He wanted them to take him from this place of death back home.
But when he got close enough to them to hear what they were saying he halted and stared at them as if he had never seen them before.
"Damn reckless adan! Just had to get himself into this didn't he? He would not listen to us!! And now we have to go and tell ada of both their passages, and of the burden we all will now have to bear." Elladan muttered harshly.
" 'Tis not the child's fault Elladan" Elrohir reminded his brother to not take it out on the boy.
"I know that! Do you not think I don't? What are we going to do with him? Ada does not need this now!" Elladan finished grimly.
Elrohir knew that his brother was saying these things out of grief for the loss of Arathorn, who had been a good friend to them both, and also out of sorrow for the boy which they would now have to take in for protection. Not necessarily a bad thing, but they both felt it would be hard for the little one, not having his true family, and growing up a human in a world of elves. Elrohir understood this, Estel did not.
'That is what they really think of humans?' Estel thought to himself. 'That is what they really think of me?'
It was at that moment that a great emptiness welled up inside of him. It was if someone had sucked the very life from his heart. His family never wanted him, and not because of him but because of what he was! Oh if he had only been born an elf!! But that was not so, and after all what elf could ever truly love a human? So he was a burden, an obligation, nothing more.
Estel had never felt more alone in his life. He could no longer see his brothers, all he could see was death, and darkness. The deep darkness that burrows itself into the very marrow of the bones, and leaves you feeling colder than a January morning.
Suddenly the darkness shifted and Estel could see a study, he recognized it to be his father's study. Elrond was sitting at his desk, and yes Gandalf was there. Suddenly hearing returned to Estel and he could hear what Gandalf and Elrond were saying to each other.
"Is there no one else Mithrandir?" Elrond asked. He was actually fond of the child, but was not sure if Imaldris would be the best place for the child.
"No mellon nin." Gandalf answered. "His is your kin, distantly yes, but you are the only kin he has left. Also he will be safe in Rivendell, until he is ready for the destiny that awaits him, whatever it may be, he would be better off here than with his own kind."
Elrond sighed. "Very well then. He shall remain here, and be called Estel while he is among us, I will raise him as you ask."
The darkness then shifted once more, and Estel did not get to hear the rest of the conversation, he did not hear how Elrond confessed he had bonded to the small boy in such a small time, and only worried for his safety and happiness.
All Estel heard after that was silence. All he saw was darkness, and he did not care. All of his reasons for existing did not care. He was not loved, and it broke his heart. He felt as though he could go on no longer, it was too much. Not only to be unloved and unwanted, but to be a burden to the ones he loved, he could not take it. This had to end.
~*End Dream~*
Estel sat up in bed with a gasp just as Elrond and the twins entered the room. They rushed to his bed side immediately upon seeing his distress.
"Estel ion nin, was it another bad dream?" Elrond asked gently, trying not to startle the still frightened boy.
"It will be okay now Estel, it was mearly a dream tithen pen" Elladan comforted.
" I am fine." Estel stated quietly. "It is nothing to worry yourselves about, I am sorry if I have disturbed you."
"You did not disturb us little one, we were coming to visit you, our business is finished now." Elrohir told him quietly. "What troubles you so Estel? Why will you not talk to us? What are these dreams about? Perhaps if you tell us we can help." Elrohir finished, asking the questions on everyone's mind.
"It is nothing Elrohir, do not worry, I do not even remember what they are about, you can not help." Estel answered in the same bleak tone he had used since awakening.
"Very well ion nin, when you are ready to talk we will be here to listen. As for now, lunch is being served, you are not well enough to get out of bed, but we will bring some to you." Elrond stated, puzzling over the actions of his youngest. He knew that Estel would tell them in his own time.
"Thank you, that will be fine. You all need to eat too." Estel stated simply, once again with his bleak tone, though he said more than normal this time.
All of them were tired of that bleak voice, and they all would give anything to have the old Estel back, where did that joyful little boy go? Would he ever return, for they all missed him terribly.
TBC........
Ion nin -my son
Tithen pen- Little one
mellon nin- My friend
Ada- Father/daddy
adan- human
Well that's it till next time!
Namaarie everyone!
