Chapter4

A/N: My babies are growing up right under my nose.*sniffle*

Will was determined to be there for Syd when she needed him. He was also determined to be no more than he had to be, no more than she wanted him to be. He wanted to be everything for her, but he didn't want to push anything on her, so he kept himself to himself. He denied the feelings he was beginning to feel for her. She's my friend, he thought, she's my best friend. That's all she is. I can't be any more for her than that.

Will had feelings for her which he had only ever felt once before, his feelings for Francie. The thought of Francie brought a tear to his eye. The betrayal which lay beneath that story was more than he cared to deal with. That was perhaps the one thing he had left to make peace with, before he could truly move on. He had loved her. His love for Francie had grown from friendship into love, just like he was starting to feel for Sydney. But he could not open himself up for that to happen. Until he could get over this feeling of ultimate betrayal, he couldn't open up again. Having a butcher's knife shoved into your shoulder took some getting over, let alone by the one you love.

He would never let his emotions overwhelm his thoughts again. making the same one twice. It was hard for him, because he was an expressive person, but he had to keep his feelings for her away from his conscious. No matter what he started to feel for Sydney, he would deny it, and remain her friend. To him, the mark of a true friend was one who remained your friend, even when they wanted so much more. At one point, he may have wanted to tell her, but he was only afraid of one thing more than death; rejection. For two years the closest thing he had to a friend was really just a drinking buddy in Jack. His life was back on track, and he wasn't going to have it derailed for something as trivial as feelings he wasn't sure he had anyway.

He instinctively looked up from his desk, and a thoughtful grin wrinkled the corner of his mouth. That beautiful and amazing woman sitting across from me is my best friend. She risks her life for me and the country I love everyday. His chest swelled with pride, and he sat up a little straighter. He felt like the luckiest man in the world, knowing that he was looking at the one person he could trust with anything, even his life or the life of his family. He wondered if she felt that way about him. Like he was a friend worth having. Like he was worth the trouble he had caused.

If truth be told, he was the only real friend she had left right now. She too was still grieving over the loss of Francie. When she had realised he was married, she left Vaughn alone. Besides. She didn't have feelings for him anyway, or that's what she told herself. Then there was Weiss. Always cracking a joke and eating, he was a great guy, but not a very close friend of hers. Besides, he's friends with Vaughn, and that can only lead to problems. Marshall hyperventilates whenever someone tries to have a proper conversation with him, and it's hard to be best friends with your emotionally compartmentalised father. That left Will, and her friendship with Will felt so right that sometimes she wondered if there wasn't more.

No, she decided. Nothing more. I am not going to derail Will's life again. He was still trying to get over the fact that she had been missing for seven-hundred and forty-seven days, she didn't need to make his life any more difficult for him. He is starting to be stable, and it isn't my place to ruin anything for him. He deserves to be happy. He's waited for so long, he needs to be happy. She knew she was in her best capacity to make him happy as his friend, so that's what she was for him. Sydney was not new to the game of rejection either, and wasn't willing to put such a good thing into the line of fire. Besides, she wasn't emotionally single yet. In her subconscious, she was still in love with Vaughn, even though her conscious decided to deny it.

Looking up at Will again, she noticed that he was looking preoccupied. His eyes were closed behind his glasses, and he was running the forefinger of his right hand over his eyebrow. He never realised he was doing it, but Sydney realised it as a sign that he was in his deep-thinking mode. His face was expressionless. His left hand was supporting his head, which was tilted slightly to the right. He was sitting like that for almost an hour, when her father called him. "Tippin", said the man gruffly, "briefing.". He was awoken from his state of 'peace' and stood up, smiling at her as he rose. She thought he winked at her.

Trying to sort out his emotional life in the heart of the CIA was a long shot, and it didn't pay off. He was thinking about Francie, how he felt about her, how he thought he felt about Sydney. He thought that he was starting to make sense of it all, when Jack called him for a briefing. As he stoop up, he caught Sydney's eye, and smiled at her. Did I just wink at her? He wasn't sure if he had or not, but hoped she didn't notice. He didn't mean to do it if he had. He gave her one last smile as he entered the briefing room, and closed the door.

He had finished preparing his presentation the night before, after Sydney had gone to bed. He pulled the covers up for her, and wished her a good night "Call me if you need anything." "I'm a big girl Will, you don't have to get everything for me." "I'm just trying to help, holler if you want me." "I will, Will.", "G'night Syd" Every night, the same thing. He just wanted to let her know that if she ever needed anything, he was there for her. He made sure she knew that every night, so that she would always know he wanted her to be safe. He wasn't sure if he could do anything to help her, but he would give his life trying. He also thought that perhaps the stability of going to bed like that, with a solid routine was good for her. Would keep her stable, and happy.

He came out, and went back to his thinking pose. He spent most of the afternoon that way, with Sydney looking up at him every now and then, to see how he was doing. When she saw a tear drop from his eye, she decided that today it was her turn to be there for him. Still grieving Francie for so long, Will needed to resolve that within himself. Sydney took the comforting role this time, and took him out to grab the latest video release. Eyes on the TV screen, they watched the movie. This time Will's head was tilted against Sydney's shoulder, her arms around his shoulders.