CHAPTER FOUR: More than dancing in the moonlight
View point Gourry
I rubbed the complementary towel (that had been in my complementary room) into my wet hair as I walked back from my complementary bath. Staying with Amelia was fun (and cheap) but I couldn't help but feel a bit bad about not paying for anything. I've never been a member of any form of upper class and I don't like being treated better by people who I haven't met before, for no reason other than money.
I suppose I feel bad about a lot of things. I don't want to do what I know I'm going to have to. I thought I'd left this behind. The first time was hard enough and I thought that I'd already had to ki…. No, I will not think about it, I promised myself I would not think about it. It took me so many years to regain some semblance of a life and some form of purpose. It took so long for me to gain some contacts and, dare I say it, friends. That is a bit hard to believe isn't it? In truth it is very hard to leave home at 10 but I did. Now that I have Lina as well, I know I have a place in the world, some meaning. You can't exist unless someone knows that you do.
But now I have something to lose too.
I hate thinking like this. I don't get into a funk easily but when I do, Gods, I think about everything! Life, love, regret… Especially regret. I lost so much pride when I was young, that even though I've regained some, it still makes me a pushover to people who know me well. I regret that weakness even as I treasure it.
Take Lina for example. She can turn me inside out and upside down if she feels like it, even if she doesn't mean to. We'd separated for about week and met again just a few days ago. I went to Seyruun in that time and Amelia gave me some food for thought. I don't think she honestly knows what this is really about, my… adversary? If that is what he is, is far too shrewd for that. I picked up a sword while I was there and then went back to meet Lina. It's a special sword, I gave it to her for a reason but I chickened out on telling her why.
She does that to me. I don't think we've spent more than a day or two apart since we first met. Most of the time we have been together has been spent running. That doesn't leave much time for a relationship, if you know what I mean. That doesn't mean I haven't gotten laid in my time, I mean, I met her when I was 17. I also grew up pretty young. I was lucky that when I was at that innocent stage it was only women who took a liking to me. Yeah, I do mean THAT way. The occasional swordsmaster would turn up and I'd learn stuff from them but… I'm getting off track.
I think we've run a bit too much you know? When you have to survive your libido kinda takes the back seat and only comes back when things settle. Things have quietened down lately. I remember someone once said "Absence not only makes the heart grow fonder, it makes you horny as hell!" They were right, need I say. I spend so much time with Lina I just feel incomplete without her. See what it does to me to spend a week apart from her? I turn into a nut.
Being the idiot that I am, I let my damn sex drive loose a little because of this. I'd meant to tell her all I could when we first saw each other again but I just couldn't. I got scared that she might get angry or defensive, I don't know why, and then I gave her my gift without saying… I don't know what I meant to say. I came clean some this afternoon but I still feel there are some things I can't tell her. I feel that I should protect her more.
I turn the corner coming up to my room and come face to face with Lina. She's dressed in a soft pink robe and her hair is hanging damp and limp, with wisps of it falling onto her face. Mr libido is killing himself. 'Hi Gourry,' Lina says softly, she doesn't quite smile at me, 'Are you okay? You look a bit… flustered.' A bit? A BIT? Hell, I wanna rip her clothes off and take her right here on the floor but I know I'd have to be a complete bastard to do it. I haven't felt this damn intense in years; give me a bit of space and I turn into a randy teenage idiot again. Yes again! I try to be this chivalrous new age individual these days but it really is so hard.
Lina takes a step closer to me, I can feel Sir sensitive new age begin to give up and I just… want… to… 'Why don't you just kiss me again Gourry?' I can't quite tell if she really said that but I can see this little spark of longing in her eyes. 'You'll kill me Lina,'
'No I won't, I think I won't.'
'Yeah, well I'll kill me.' God I am such a coward.
'I don't care.' I can't, it would be wrong, I can't. I don't deserve her, not ever and not like this.
'Just be selfish for once, you goddamn IDIOT!' She didn't say it that loud but there was a lot of emphasis. There we go, Mr Libido is well and truly sick of this and is in the drivers seat. Lina turns away from me and places her hand on the nearest doorknob. I realise it is hers.
All I want right in front of me.
I grab Lina's hand and turn her to face me, 'Lina, you bloody asked for it,"
[^-^^-^^-^^-^]
I feel this wonderful sense of euphoria waft over me. I haven't felt this good in ages. Lina is looking up beside me with bright wide eyes, 'H… how.. m…m… many..' I smile, 'Four.' She leans back and rests her head into my chest, 'My god.' I sigh, 'Yeah well I haven't done it in a while, I'll be better next time, geez.' She stares at me in horror for a moment, 'MORE? But I'm so tired after this.' There is a slight pause, I happily run my fingers through her hair and she looks up at me, 'MORE?' I smile in what I have been assured is a charming way. I probably should have gone slower but my control was fully snapped, I don't think Lina minded too much… The words she was saying certainly support this hypothesis. Woohoo, Gourry use long word.
I wonder if I will hate myself in the morning? I suppose this is the biggest thing I've ever done to lose Lina's trust. I can feel Lina's hand gently cup my face, 'Stop thinking Jelly fish and go to sleep, k?' I suppose it's the biggest thing I've done to make her trust me too. I really am a bit of idiot but somehow that's why things always turn out alright.
I hope this holds true for as long as I can manage it. I really need dumb luck.
[^-^^-^^-^^-^]
Yippy, another chapter, sorry to all you L/G haters though! As for Gourry's hair, think Kaji from neon genesis evangelion! Reviews are always welcome and you may flame if it really makes you feel better. Love and good wishes from, Amalphia.
View point Gourry
I rubbed the complementary towel (that had been in my complementary room) into my wet hair as I walked back from my complementary bath. Staying with Amelia was fun (and cheap) but I couldn't help but feel a bit bad about not paying for anything. I've never been a member of any form of upper class and I don't like being treated better by people who I haven't met before, for no reason other than money.
I suppose I feel bad about a lot of things. I don't want to do what I know I'm going to have to. I thought I'd left this behind. The first time was hard enough and I thought that I'd already had to ki…. No, I will not think about it, I promised myself I would not think about it. It took me so many years to regain some semblance of a life and some form of purpose. It took so long for me to gain some contacts and, dare I say it, friends. That is a bit hard to believe isn't it? In truth it is very hard to leave home at 10 but I did. Now that I have Lina as well, I know I have a place in the world, some meaning. You can't exist unless someone knows that you do.
But now I have something to lose too.
I hate thinking like this. I don't get into a funk easily but when I do, Gods, I think about everything! Life, love, regret… Especially regret. I lost so much pride when I was young, that even though I've regained some, it still makes me a pushover to people who know me well. I regret that weakness even as I treasure it.
Take Lina for example. She can turn me inside out and upside down if she feels like it, even if she doesn't mean to. We'd separated for about week and met again just a few days ago. I went to Seyruun in that time and Amelia gave me some food for thought. I don't think she honestly knows what this is really about, my… adversary? If that is what he is, is far too shrewd for that. I picked up a sword while I was there and then went back to meet Lina. It's a special sword, I gave it to her for a reason but I chickened out on telling her why.
She does that to me. I don't think we've spent more than a day or two apart since we first met. Most of the time we have been together has been spent running. That doesn't leave much time for a relationship, if you know what I mean. That doesn't mean I haven't gotten laid in my time, I mean, I met her when I was 17. I also grew up pretty young. I was lucky that when I was at that innocent stage it was only women who took a liking to me. Yeah, I do mean THAT way. The occasional swordsmaster would turn up and I'd learn stuff from them but… I'm getting off track.
I think we've run a bit too much you know? When you have to survive your libido kinda takes the back seat and only comes back when things settle. Things have quietened down lately. I remember someone once said "Absence not only makes the heart grow fonder, it makes you horny as hell!" They were right, need I say. I spend so much time with Lina I just feel incomplete without her. See what it does to me to spend a week apart from her? I turn into a nut.
Being the idiot that I am, I let my damn sex drive loose a little because of this. I'd meant to tell her all I could when we first saw each other again but I just couldn't. I got scared that she might get angry or defensive, I don't know why, and then I gave her my gift without saying… I don't know what I meant to say. I came clean some this afternoon but I still feel there are some things I can't tell her. I feel that I should protect her more.
I turn the corner coming up to my room and come face to face with Lina. She's dressed in a soft pink robe and her hair is hanging damp and limp, with wisps of it falling onto her face. Mr libido is killing himself. 'Hi Gourry,' Lina says softly, she doesn't quite smile at me, 'Are you okay? You look a bit… flustered.' A bit? A BIT? Hell, I wanna rip her clothes off and take her right here on the floor but I know I'd have to be a complete bastard to do it. I haven't felt this damn intense in years; give me a bit of space and I turn into a randy teenage idiot again. Yes again! I try to be this chivalrous new age individual these days but it really is so hard.
Lina takes a step closer to me, I can feel Sir sensitive new age begin to give up and I just… want… to… 'Why don't you just kiss me again Gourry?' I can't quite tell if she really said that but I can see this little spark of longing in her eyes. 'You'll kill me Lina,'
'No I won't, I think I won't.'
'Yeah, well I'll kill me.' God I am such a coward.
'I don't care.' I can't, it would be wrong, I can't. I don't deserve her, not ever and not like this.
'Just be selfish for once, you goddamn IDIOT!' She didn't say it that loud but there was a lot of emphasis. There we go, Mr Libido is well and truly sick of this and is in the drivers seat. Lina turns away from me and places her hand on the nearest doorknob. I realise it is hers.
All I want right in front of me.
I grab Lina's hand and turn her to face me, 'Lina, you bloody asked for it,"
[^-^^-^^-^^-^]
I feel this wonderful sense of euphoria waft over me. I haven't felt this good in ages. Lina is looking up beside me with bright wide eyes, 'H… how.. m…m… many..' I smile, 'Four.' She leans back and rests her head into my chest, 'My god.' I sigh, 'Yeah well I haven't done it in a while, I'll be better next time, geez.' She stares at me in horror for a moment, 'MORE? But I'm so tired after this.' There is a slight pause, I happily run my fingers through her hair and she looks up at me, 'MORE?' I smile in what I have been assured is a charming way. I probably should have gone slower but my control was fully snapped, I don't think Lina minded too much… The words she was saying certainly support this hypothesis. Woohoo, Gourry use long word.
I wonder if I will hate myself in the morning? I suppose this is the biggest thing I've ever done to lose Lina's trust. I can feel Lina's hand gently cup my face, 'Stop thinking Jelly fish and go to sleep, k?' I suppose it's the biggest thing I've done to make her trust me too. I really am a bit of idiot but somehow that's why things always turn out alright.
I hope this holds true for as long as I can manage it. I really need dumb luck.
[^-^^-^^-^^-^]
Yippy, another chapter, sorry to all you L/G haters though! As for Gourry's hair, think Kaji from neon genesis evangelion! Reviews are always welcome and you may flame if it really makes you feel better. Love and good wishes from, Amalphia.
