DD: BL is sleeping right now, and it will just feel too weird if I just start talking randomly. She's the talker, not me. So I'll have Sephiroth do the disclaimer.
Sephiroth: they don't own anything except this fic, and if you think otherwise//pulls out Masamune/ Mr. Masamune will have to have a word with your insides.
BL: zzzzz /talking in sleep/ zzz...on with..zzzzzz...the...fic..ZZZZZZ
The Misadventures of the FVII Crew: Chapter 2
Cloud and the Rubber Band
Cloud was walking in the Nibelheim mansion when he spotted a rubber band on a desk.
Cloud: what's this//picks up rubber band and stretches it/
After a few long minutes of inspecting the rubber band, Cloud starts to make some shapes with it.
Cloud//making the shapes as he recites what they are/ angel, devil, bat mobile, cats cradle...
Vincent walks in the room, and is curious as to what Cloud is doing, so he asks...
Vincent: Cloud, what are you doing?
Cloud//holding up a bear face shape in the band/ look! It's smoky the bear!
Vincent: uh...yea... /watching Cloud make more shapes and is getting tired of his nonsense and stupidity/ can I see that for a sec?
Cloud: sure if you really want to
Vincent//evilly/ say, how do you make those shape things? I would like to learn. /stretching the rubber band really far until.../
Rubber Band//snap/
Vincent: oops, I broke it. /hands it back to Cloud/ oh well /turns and walks away with an evil smirk on his face/
Cloud//stares at the rubber band, with tears in his eyes/ smoky.../sniff sniff/ you were so young and full of life//starts bawling like a baby/
Sad Violin music plays in the background
Cloud: I guess the right thing to do is to give you a proper burial
The next day, in the backyard of the mansion (a/n- if it has one) the 'guests' are standing around, wondering why Cloud has invited them all here. They include: Tifa, Barret, Cid, Yuffie, Red XIII, Cait Sith, Vincent, Aeris (He has revived her just for this occasion), all the Turks, Rufus and his bodyguards, and Sephiroth.
Cid: does anyone what the hell is going on!
Barret: I don kno foo' I am jus as clueless as you are.
Tifa: and that's supposed to surprise us?
Barret and Cid: HEY!
Yuffie//hugs Reno/ long time no see /walks away/
Reno: what was that about?
Tseng: better check your pockets
Reno//does and discovers that his wallet is gone/ what? Why you little//chases Yuffie around the yard/
Cloud comes out of the mansion wearing a black dress with a black veil
VERY LONG SILENCE
Sephiroth//breaks the silence/ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA /falls over with laughter/ that's what you wanted to show us? That you were a crossdresser//laughs even more/ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cloud//in tears/ someone very dear to me has passed away
Aeris//to Tifa/ is he talking about me?
Tifa: no, cause then he wouldn't have revived you
Aeris: oh /in tears/ he didn't care as much about me as this other person. He only put me in water!
Cloud//oblivious to what she was saying/ I thank you for your tears Aeris, but cry as you might, they will not bring him back to me.
This statement causes Vincent and Cid to join Sephiroth in laughter, with Vincent being the loudest, which is very strange, being that he never laughs.
Vincent goes over and tells Sephiroth and Cid about the 'rubber band', which causes a HUGE explosion of laughter.
Meanwhile, at Vincent's waterfall...
Lucrecia: is that Vincent? And Sephiroth? And some other guy? Nah it's probably my imagination. /resumes playing Solitaire/
Back at the Mansion Cloud finally notices the laughter, and gets very upset
Cloud: so you all know, my friend didn't just die, he was...MURDERED!
All//gasp/
Rufus: wait a sec. That's not that surprising. Most people that this guy comes in contact with do die in some twisted, murdering, tragic way. Like Aeris for example. She was stabbed in the back and no blood came out. What's up with that//Shinra hair flick/
Cloud: can we please stay on topic? Anyway, this friend of mine was killed...by him//points/
Random Townsperson: who me?
Cloud: not you, I don't even know you, HIM /points to Vincent/
Vincent: I don't know what you are talking about, I didn't kill anyone
Cloud: you killed Smoky! You stretched him, and stretched him, and then, SNAP! You broke him in half//cries very very loud/
Tifa: Vincent, what the hell is going on?
Barret: yea foo', I like to kno to.
Vincent//trying to hold back laughter/ I broke a freaking rubber band. And he's accusing me of 1st degree murder. /rolls over laughing/
Yuffie//still holding Reno's wallet/ WHAT?
Red XIII: you called us down here..for a rubber band?
Cloud: I know you didn't appreciate him, but at least I thought you'd be here for me.
Sephiroth: you are truly pathetic. I'm outta here.
Cid: unless there is one of those after death party thingies, I'm outta here too.
Everyone//nods in agreement/
Cloud: oh yeah, I forgot, food's in the house.
Everyone: HOORAY//runs in house/
Cloud//still outside and puts the box holding 'Smoky' in the hole that he dug/ I'll miss you...
Vincent//walks up behind him/ you know, I feel kinda bad knowing that your so simple minded and breaking your rubber band, so here /hands him a paper clip/
Cloud//overwhelmed with joy/ thanks Vinny! I'll call him Fluffy! C'mon Fluffy, lets go get some food. /runs in house/
Vincent//shaking his head due to Cloud's stupidity/ poor child /walks in house to get some food/
THE END
DD: I hope you all found that amusing
BL: I did I did!
Sephiroth: me too. I knew the kid was stupid, but this was just hilarious.
Cloud//sniff/ Smoky...poor Smoky..but now I got Fluffy!
DD//Dr Evil impersonation/ riiight
BL: poor simple minded fool...are there any leftovers from that party?
Cloud: yea, in the house
BL: thanks//runs in house to stuff face/
DD: umm, yea, please review and coming soon, Mr. Computer, meet Mr. Death Penalty
BL//mouth full of food/ me moo oon (translation: See you soon)
