Disclaimer: Though all the GW characters from the series aren't mine, the story is, and so are the other characters. I'll send Heero after anyone who steals them!
Warnings: eventual shounen ai, swearing, magic
Notes: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Finny: Hi, thanks for reviewing - did you get my email? I was asking how the collab was coming along, but my email's half stuffed. If you didn't, drop a review and I'll try again. And ooh, you have a fiance? I don't even have a bf yet... *sniff*
Stephanie Yuy: Sorry about making you wait... here's the next chapter, though. Hope you enjoy!
Chibisora: Yummie yum! *stuffs self with popsicles* Thanks, and thanks for reading and reviewing as well!
Shin'sTwin: Not soon, but yup! I'll keep on till I get to the end... I've actually got the last chap planned out, just not the middle ones!
Mariel Yuy: Hi, I'm really sorry for taking so long. About the site.. well, considering how long it took to get this chapter out, I'm not sure how long it'll take. I'm really trying, but the doc says I'm not supposed to type, so... anyway, hope you enjoy this chap! And I'll email you with an email addie. :P
Landlady of the Universe: Well, I took a long time to write it, so guess we're even. But, just cos I'm evil, I'll tell you that two romances will start before I get around to Suri's, and neither involves Zechs or Heero. So you'll have to wait, ne? Hehe...
Part XVI: Identity
Heero stood, undecided, but fate
seemed to have a mind of its own; a particularly strong gust of
wind sent the acidic scent of twinei leaves into his nostrils,
making him sneeze. Suri's head snapped up, eyes widening as she
realised he was there. Heero cursed inwardly, then stood and
muttered, "Gomen. I didn't mean to overhear."
The girl stared at him for a long moment, her face unreadable. Then, at long last, she sighed and turned away. "It's okay... I guess this isn't much of a private place, after all." A pause. "Your shields are really good."
The last was unexpected, and made Heero start slightly. "Thank you." He was surprised she didn't seem angry at his intrusion - the conversation had been quite personal, after all. She must be better at hiding her feelings than I thought. Awkwardly, he repeated, "I'm sorry."
Suri faced him once more, and shook her head. "It doesn't matter... forget it." She hesitated, then asked, "Did you hear much?"
Heero felt a small twinge of guilt; the fact that she asked made it clear that it did matter. "From when you started singing."
The girl closed her eyes briefly. "Then I guess I have to ask you not to tell anyone either."
He nodded. That's the least I can do. It was private... His mind ran over the conversation, and something occurred to him. "Suri..."
"Hmm?"
"Did you hate the nobility after your friend was... injured?"
The flash of recognition in her eyes showed that she understood what he was driving at. "You mean, how could I trust nobles like you guys after what happened?" He nodded.
She frowned thoughtfully for a while, then answered, "I guess if you learn anything from living on the streets, it's that you can't categorise people by what they are. Take thieves, for example - there are the cowards who only pick on the young or injured, and there are the ruthless ones who'd kill their own mothers for less than ten credits. But there are also the ones who only ever steal from the rich, and who have been known to actually rescue poorer people from other thieves and pickpockets. I guess you get used to at least trying to get to know a person before judging them."
"But when it's almost instinctive?"
"Yeah, it's hard... that's why I was angry at Zechs for not telling me he was a prince when we first met. For a moment, it seemed like all nobles could do was maipulate people."
"You managed to keep control."
Suri shrugged lightly. "Anger is an emotion, after all. You learn to suppress it."
He was silent for a moment. "Emotions are sometimes better when suppressed."
Another thoughtful frown. "Sometimes. But I think that keeping too many emotions inside isn't healthy - if you crack, there's no telling what you'll do. And if I don't let myself enjoy what's good about the world, I'll probably drop dead with despair... there's enough misery out there without me adding to it. Besides, emotions are what keep us human. Sure, there's a lot of anger and hatred in the world, but a smile or a kind word can do more good than you think."
Beneath the unchanging, almost cool expression, Heero's mind swirled - the words had struck home. He knew he was not normally inclined to irretrospective thoughts, but the fresh morning air must have affected him; for the first time, he found himself questioning his single-minded devotion to revenge. When I first lost my gift, I shut my emotions out, afraid of what I might feel. But the pain has receded over the years... could I... would it be easier if I just let it go?
The cobalt eyes widened - the option had never occurred to him before. Then, his composed, analytical mind took over again. But even if I decide to, I wouldn't know how... I don't remember what it's like to have emotions...
Now that he thought about it, it was true - he had grown so accustomed to his mask that in many ways, the indifference was no longer an act. I wonder if anyone else remembers what I was like before... how does she even know I once had emotions? She didn't know me back then...
Beside him, Suri hid her startlement; her gift of Empathy had sensed the slightest flicker of confusion and turmoil from the Mage. Is it just me, or did something actually slip through his shields? Gently, almost afraid to interrupt the youth's thoughts, she said, "Heero?"
He shook himself abruptly. "Wh... pardon?"
Had the situation not been so serious, she would have laughed at the bewildered look that flashed across the normally composed face. Instead, she said, "I'm going to go back - if two people can find their way here, there's no telling whether Oz will be able to."
But I merely followed Zech's path... Heero suddenly remembered why he had followed the prince in the first place. "Suri..." She glanced at him. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier." He hesitated. "I didn't mean it."
She studied him for a moment, then smiled briefly with some of her usual vigour. "Don't worry about it."
The Mage nodded and they walked back to the camp quietly, but unlike the stony silences earlier, the atmosphere could almost be considered companiable. Duo and Zechs were sitting on a fallen log, the former munching away on some rations and the latter looking at him with a bemused expression. As the pair approached, both of them glanced up, the braided boy's expression changing from one of welcome to one of suspicion as his gaze fell on his cousin who, true to his nature, ignored it. The prince remained calm but Suri detected mild surprise, and sent privately, I'm okay. Don't worry. There was an almost imperceptible nod, and she said nonchalently, "Hi, guys."
"Hey, Suri." Duo's wide grin remained even though his tone was one of concern. "You okay?"
"Sure," she responded, then explained, "I met Heero on the way back. We've... sorted things out." Catching Duo's disbelief, she grinned back at him. "Seriously."
The braided boy narrowed a glare at his cousin, who nodded curtly in confirmation, then relaxed. "I'm glad." He gestured to the rations. "Want some? We haven't exactly had much of an opportunity to eat."
Suri raised her eyebrow, glancing pointedly at the loaf in his hand, and Duo grinned again. "That's why I'm eating now."
Zechs' lips quirked as he elaborated, "He's done nothing but eat the moment I found him and told him you weren't missing."
The girl's expression softened into one of appreciation at the mild flush on the braided boy's face. Zechs is right... they really do care. She reached over and gave Duo's hand a light squeeze, then asked, "Where are Trowa and Quatre?"
The braided boy gestured towards the tents. "They're either sleeping or catching up; we're on watch since I'm hungry and Zechs signed himself up before anybody could say anything."
The prince shrugged. "I have a feeling they need to talk. What better time than now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a long silence, Quatre found himself growing tense. Is he angry? He's just sitting there, staring at his hands... I know he isn't normally talkative, but still... Finally, he broke the silence with a tentative question. "Trowa, are you... angry at me? For hurting you?"
The emerald eyes looked up. "Why would you think so?"
"Well, you're not talking to me... and I lost control. I made you lose your memory, and injured you..."
Trowa slipped something into his pocket, then turned his full attention to the blonde. His voice was strangely gentle as he said, "You know I won't blame you for something you didn't intend to do."
"But I still did it!" The blonde exclaimed passionately, the aquamarine orbs pained. "And at the end, I caused more harm than I did good..."
"Didn't you save the children?"
"Yes, but there were so many other ways I could have done it..."
"Were there?" Trowa kept his tone reasonable.
That stumped the blonde. His thoughts ran back over the incident, remembering the sickness and explosive anger he felt at the sight of the children being used as hostages, and his desperation at being able to do nothing. "I guess... maybe there weren't many other ways," he conceded, "but I could have kept control. The guards were the only ones I needed to attack."
"And did you know you *could* attack in the first place?"
Quatre shook his head. "I lost control."
"If you hadn't lost control, the children may have been killed or even worse, tortured, correct?" The blonde nodded slowly. "Then I think my injuries are well worth it."
The Healer was quiet as he processed the words. They were so similar to what the others had been trying to tell him, but from Trowa, they sounded more certain... even possible. A flicker of hope appeared on his face, and Trowa nodded in silent confirmation, repeating simply, "It's not your fault."
Slowly, Quatre felt himself accepting the older boy's words and relaxed, allowing a shaky smile to cross his face. "Thanks, Trowa." Suddenly curious, he asked, "What were you looking at?" When the other boy hesitated, he said hastily, "It's okay if it's private."
After a moment, Trowa reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver object, handing it to the blonde and explaining, "Catherine gave it to me. She says it's a family heirloom... Quatre?"
The blonde's face had turned pale with shock. He reached up abruptly and yanked at a chain fastened around his neck, removing a small locket. His eyes darted between the two objects, widened further, then looked up and stared at the older boy. Slowly, he held his own locket up. "Trowa, do you remember this?"
The silver locket was shaped like a jaana leaf.
Trowa blinked and inspected the object closely, eyes widening when he noticed the small bloom of jaaniva engraved on it. As he reached out and touched it, a memory arose - a memory of himself at Quatre's fourteenth birthday celebration... a memory of handing his only proof of identity to the blonde as a sign of trust... Oh Goddess. Does this mean...
*** flash ***
Trowa knocked lightly on the Duke's door. A muffled 'come in' sounded, and the youth entered, shutting the heavy door firmly behind him. He had often wondered exactly what the door was made of - it weighed too much to have been made entirely of the wood covering its surface. The king's chamber was made of a similar material, however, so his guess of magic-repellent material was probably correct.
He walked towards the greying man bent over the table, bowing politely. "Father."
Duke Barton looked up at Trowa with a brief smile. "Trowa. Is anything the matter?"
The eight-year-old shook his head. "Nothing that cannot be left until later if you're busy."
The Duke lay down his quill. "If it were nothing, you would not have sought me in my private chambers instead of the dinner table."
Trowa pondered the statement, then nodded. "I was wondering about my past. I know I was adopted, but..." How could he phrase it eloquently? To state that he wished to know why *he* was chosen seemed rude and ungrateful, if nothing else.
His adoptive father was a shrewd man. He had no trouble understanding the cadences behind the question, nor was he surprised - it was only natural to wish to know about one's past. He walked over to a high-backed armchair, gesturing to the seat beside him. "Sit, boy. I'll tell it like a story; it's easier that way." After pausing to collect his thoughts, he asked, "You have studied the Oz raids eight years ago?"
Trowa nodded. "There wasn't much to study, though."
"No, there wasn't - they were small raids. Well-planned and rather vicious, but quickly controlled. I was the leader of patrol A, so I was directly involved in the skirmishes with their main force. Their leaders were killed and the rest taken as prisoners, as you know, and their captives were checked by the Healers, then released. I found you there - one of the women had been looking after you, and we estimated that you were not yet one year old, but nobody knew who you were. Investigations revealed nothing. Because I did not intend to marry, I decided to adopt you." He stood again, walked to his table and rumaged around for a minute, then handed him a silver locket. "This is the only thing you had, aside from some towels that the woman wrapped you in."
The boy glanced up in question, and the Duke smiled gently. "Yes, it's yours; take it and look after it well." He patted the boy on the shoulder. "And Trowa, I want you to know that no matter what other people may say, I still consider you my son."
Slowly, Trowa nodded and took the locket, staring at it silently. After a long moment, he answered, "Thank you... father."
*** flash ***
"Trowa?"
At the concerned question, he wrenched himself out of his memories. His voice was almost awed as he answered, "Quatre, I think Catherine is my sister."
The blonde asked, "The lockets?"
Trowa nodded. "They were family heirlooms." For a while, he sat still, lost in his thoughts. "I want to find her, but that can wait. We should see if Zechs and Duo need to rest." He stood, pocketed one locket and handed Quatre the other, countering the blonde's protest with a simple, "I trust you." Then, he stepped outside the tent. Quatre was a step behind him, his face confused - though the words were gently spoken, Trowa's face was closed. It was clear that the taller youth was hiding something, but he wasn't sure what, and he wasn't sure if it was his business. I know it isn't every day that you find your identity, but still... I wish he would trust me as much as he says he does...
Outside, Zechs and Heero were removing the traces of their presence while Duo and Suri packed away the second tent. Seeing them, the prince called, "After we get this sorted out, we're going to figure out where we're going. Can you get your tent packed?"
Trowa nodded in assent. They dissembled the poles and materials with a quick efficiency that grew from their frequent operations as a pair, then helped Zechs with the ashes left from the fire. After a moment, Duo and Suri joined them. Quatre directed a smile and an unspoken surge of concern to the latter, who grinned and sent a wave of reassurance in return. He relaxed and turned to Zechs.
The prince took a deep breath, then began, "We know that Treize Khushrenada is heading north towards the Fort Ranges. If he can be trusted, we can assume that Wufei went the same way; logic says that the information is correct, because there are only two ways to leave Sahkron, and we're camped south."
Suri frowned. "I thought Treize said Wufei headed northeast."
"Yes, but we walked northwest looking for him. Wufei could go east, but he wouldn't be able to move past the cliffs of Mt Sera."
The girl looked up, studied the sheer outcrops briefly, then swallowed. "I don't see why anyone would want to."
Zechs grinned, but continued, "So there are no other suggestions?"
They shook their heads. Quatre glanced at Trowa, wondering whether he would reveal what he had discovered, only to find an emerald eye staring back at him. He sent a surge of encouragement to the older youth. After a moment, Trowa cleared his throat, and the prince nodded for him to speak. "I've discovered that Catherine is my sister."
The statement was shocking enough, but Trowa's bluntness made it even harder for the words to sink in. Finally, Duo managed, "Huh?!"
Zechs' eyebrows drew together, and it took all of his early training to remain coherent as he rephrased Duo's question. "Catherine - your sister?"
The braided boy cut in and added, "Why in the name of the Goddess would you figure that?" Catching Quatre's mild glare, he shut his mouth against further questions, but the violet eyes remained expectant.
Trowa looked awkward. "As you know, I was an orphan, adopted at a time relatively close to my birth. I think my... family was travelling in Sanq when Oz raiders struck. My parents were killed, my sister remained hidden and I was captured. The raiders were then caught by Sanq patrols, and because nobody knew who I was, Duke Barton adopted me."
There was silence as they processed this, and Quatre tried to seem supportive without being too obvious. Finally, Heero asked, "What led to that conclusion?"
"My story corresponds with Catherine's, and facts support them." He hesitated, then took out the locket Catherine gave him, nodding slightly as Quatre handed him the matching one. "And these heirlooms were not identical by chance."
After a moment, Duo held his hand out. "May I?" For several minutes, he studied the two carefully, his eyebrows drawn together in a half-frown. Finally, he looked up. "You're right. They're made of the same materials, have exactly the same design - one that is rare, if not unique - and have exactly the same craftsmenship. And if you the back of them, you'll notice that although it is heavily worn, there was once writing there. On this one, you can almost make out a 'b'." Noticing their surprise, he grinned and added, "I don't normally study heirlooms, but jewellery is something of a hobby. So Tro, I think you've found a long lost sister. I'm happy for you."
Trowa masked his own uncertainty and offered the boy a slight smile of thanks as he retrieved the lockets. Zechs touched his shoulder lightly. "Me too. Catherine is headed in the same direction as we, so when we meet again, you can tell her as well." Trowa nodded. Out of the corner of one emerald eye, he caught a brief flicker of something on Suri's face, but it disappeared as she, too, expressed her happiness for him. Of course. She's a naneless orphan too... it's a shame the gypsies did not know more about her past. It's depressing, at times - I should know... As they stood to leave, however, Suri was joking with Duo once more, any sign of pain carefully hidden away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *** One week later *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He stood at the threshold warily. A part of him was demanding that he bury his pride and ask for a meal, but another argued that he would be a burden to nobody. The decision was wrestled from him when the wooden door creaked open, revealing a long-haired nun. She took one glance at the dust covering his clothes and said, "Well, young man, I don't know what brings you here, but you look like you need a good meal. I'm Sister Helen [1], and this is Maxwell Cloister, run by Father Maxwell. Come on in."
As Wufei was hustled into the dining room, he felt his attention drawn to a blonde-haired figure whose back was facing him. When he sat down opposite her, taking a sip from the bowl of soup, she turned around. He almost choked, and the girl gasped, her blue eyes widened in recognition. The Asian resisted the urge to pinch himself, instead asking hesitatingly, "R-relena?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wait.
They all stopped and glanced at Trowa, who was studying his surroundings carefully. Finally, he sent, We're not alone.
Heero frowned in concentration, and after a few moments, he nodded. I sense a magical shield - it's a strong one. And it covers quite a few people.
At that moment, there was a holler, and they found themselves surrounded on all sides by nearly forty men. Instinctively grouping together, they readied their energies as Zechs called, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Who we are does not matter; what we want is obvious." The leader of the men stepped forward. "Windriders, will you come willingly or do we have to use force?"
Notes:
[1] - Yep, I know Helen should be dead - that is sooo not the point! This is an AU, after all.
I will apologise again for the time it took to get this out... problems prop up everywhere, both in the story and in RL. I know I will keep going, but it might take quite some time... it really depends on what the doctors say. Please stick with me, and review, review, review!
