DD: sorry it took us so long to update.

BL: yea, cuz YOU didn't want to write, CUZ YOU'RE A BUM//fumes with anger/

DD: when was there ever a time when we could actually write a chapter? We barely had five minutes each day//anime angry temple thingy/

BL: that's not true! We had more time! You just didn't want to write, cuz you were playing ps2!

DD: you never even asked! I'm not a mind reader you know.

BL: I DID SO ASK YOU!

DD: AND EVEN IF I SAID NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE REMINDED ME OF OUR MANY READERS! THEN I WOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FASTER THAN YOU COULD SAY...SOMETHING!

BL: WHAT! WHY YOU LITTLE...!

/dust cloud appears/

Vincent//walks in/ there they go again. /anime sigh/ what ARE we going to do with you two...?

Cloud//skips in//singing/ I love you fluffy! You're my bestest friend in the entire universe!

Vincent: Hey Cloud, since those two are busy, why don't you do the disclaimer?

Cloud//whiny/ but me and fluffy were just about to get some ice crea-

Vincent: JUST DO IT! OTHERWISE.../evilly/ snap! Bye bye fluffy!

Cloud: NOOOOOOOO//clutches "fluffy"/ okay, I'll do it. /sniff/ deamondragon and /sniff/ thegreatblsama do not /sniff/ own /sniff/ Final Fantasy VII /sniff/

Vincent: good boy.

Cloud//runs away with tears in his eyes/ on with the /sniff/ fic /cries very very loudly/ Fluffy, I will never let you die at the hands of that SPOONY VAMPIRE!

Vincent: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPOONY VAMPIRE//chases him/

The Misadventures of the FFVII Crew: Chapter 3

Mr. Computer, Meet Mr. Death Penalty

Vincent was taking a very long walk down a Nibelheim road, VERY pissed off.

Vincent//mumbling/ I am not a spoony vampire. DO VAMPIRES EVEN EXIST?

Random Person: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SPOONY VAMPIRE!

Vincent: YOU//shoots him/

Random Person//dead/

Vincent: I am NOT a spoony vampire...

Vincent walks into Nibelheim mansion to be greeted by...

...Cloud.

Cloud: HI VINNY!

Vincent: do NOT call me that, and what the hell are you doing here!

Cloud: someone is very cranky today.

Vincent: CRANKY? I'LL SHOW YOU CRANKY//goes to strangle Cloud/

Cloud: did ya get my E-mail?

Vincent: E-what?

Cloud: E-mail silly. I made your own screen name and /gasp/ oh my goodness! I forgot to tell you about it! Silly me!

Vincent: you made me a what?

Cloud: come here//grabs Vincent's arm and drags him into the other room, where the computer is already on/

Vincent//looks at it disgusted/ what is THAT THING doing in MY house?

Cloud: YOUR house//happily/ this is OUR HOUSE!

Vincent: no, you just wish-

Cloud: ANYWAY! This here, is a computer!

Vincent: okay

Cloud: now, let me just log onto the internet and.../computer makes the dial up noises going on the internet/

Vincent//jumps back/ WHAT WAS THAT SOUND?

Cloud: that was just the computer you silly. Your such a silly Vinny.

Vincent: I thought I told you NOT to call me that!

Cloud: this is your screen name.

Vincent: "SpoonyVampire323 at yahoo dot com?" /fumes with anger/ I AM NOT A SPOONY VAMPIRE, NOR AM I A YAHOO!

Cloud: no, that's just where you're screen name is located.

Vincent//getting angrier/ SO, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY THAT A "SPOONY VAMPIRE" SHOULD BE LOCATED AT A YAHOO!

Cloud: no, that's just where your homepage is.

Vincent: I AM NOT A SPOONY VAMPIRE!

Cloud: I am just gonna leave you guys here to get more aquatinted.

Vincent: YOU ACT LIKE IT'S ALIVE!

/Cloud leaves/

Vincent//stares at computer/ are you mocking me?

Computer//stares back/

Vincent: STOP MOCKING ME!

/aim message pops up with user named "Hooters456"/

Hooters456: hey vincent!

Vincent//falls backwards over chair/ AHHHH! WHAT IS THIS THING?

Hooters456: its tifa

Vincent: this "thing" is called a tifa?

Hooters456: hello? R u there?

Vincent: hmmmm../looks at keyboard/ perhaps I'm supposed to push these little buttons to answer back.

SpoonyVampire323: gsukwfheiagdsuhgsdhehirhi

Hooters456: r u on drugs?

Vincent: how dare this "tifa" insult me//hits caps lock/

SpoonyVampire323: HADVUHHGIOGBGFWEGY'GIHINEWHGY!

Hooters456: r u trying 2 curse me out? cid does it differently.

Vincent: WHO IS THIS CID//shakes screen/ I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO HE IS!

Hooters456: he does it more like this:

Hooters456: #$$# &&$#

Vincent: WHAT ARE THESE SYMBOLS//gasp/ THIS "TIFA" IS TRYING TO CURSE ME! WELL, I WONT LET YOU!

Hooters456: well, you r boring me

Vincent: I AM NOT BORING!

Hooters456: I'll c ya around

/Hooters456 logs off/

Vincent: "logs off"? what is this "logs off"? I DEMAND TO KNOW! TELL ME!

/another AIM message pops up/

Vincent//falls backwards over chair...again/ WHAT?...ANOTHER "TIFA"?

IMEVIL666: guess who

Vincent: its "tifa" I KNOW! YOU'RE A TIFA!

IMEVIL666: u there, or r u 2 stupid 2 kno how 2 use a computer?

Vincent: YOU ARE STILL MOCKING ME//anger rising/

IMEVIL666: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Vincent: THAT'S IT//takes out Death Penalty and shoots the computer screen multiple times/ DIE "TIFA"!

/Computer speakers make AIM 'bling' sound/

Vincent: I CANNOT SEE YOU AND YET YOU STILL MOCK ME//shoots speakers and hell...and the rest of the computer/

Computer//dead/

Vincent//panting/ THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO MOCK ME!

/Cloud walks in/

Cloud: WHAT DID YOU DO?

Vincent: IT WAS MOCKING ME! THAT THING CALLED "TIFA" WAS MOCKING ME!

Cloud: you were talking to Tifa!

Vincent: YES IT CALLED ITSELF TIFA! IT FIRST APPEARED AS "HOOTERS456", THEN IT CAME BACK AS "IMEVIL666"! BUT I SHOWED IT!

Cloud//sarcastically/ yep, you showed it.

Meanwhile...

Sephiroth: THAT BASTARD, HE DIDN'T EVEN TALK BACK BEFORE HE LOGGED OFF!

/is talking to Hooters456/

IMEVIL666: he didn't say goodbye. Idiot, he probably doesn't even kno how 2 use a computer.

Hooters456: I have to agree wit u there sephy.

IMEVIL666: DO NOT CALL ME THAT! Wait, y r u agreeing wit me n e way?

Hooters456: well, because when I was talkin to him, all he wrote was random letters

IMEVIL666: oh...what an idiot.

End Chapter

DD: just to let you all know, we don't own yahoo or AIM.

BL: and the spelling is supposed to be that way, cuz its how most peeps talk to each other on AIM.

DD: oh, and don't forget to review.

BL: next chapter is...

Both: Why is Meteor Pink?

BL: c ya soon!

Vincent: I SHOWED THEM ALL! ALL TIFAS WILL BOW TO ME!