Forgotten Commitments
Chapter 2
Unconditional Commitments
Rachel
Now think! Did you ever make such a commitment?
I was on the ground, but soon stood up. That was how amazing he was, he gave me his hand and stood me up. He wiped my tears off, but now He had a sad look in his eyes.
I started to answer his question but I was shaken off guard by the movement of the ground. The six-inch space between God and I expanded to about a five-by-five foot space. I felt separated from him already. It turned black and snowy. It was like a television screen!
I stared at this a few minutes until I heard something. I couldn't make sense of it at first, but I saw the horror. It was heavy breathing! We were going through all the moments of my life - starting from conception! I was not prepared for that! It played out in real time. Every single horrible thing I had done was played before God, and I was totally ashamed. But there was one moment. I had forgotten everything about this particular month in my life. . .
This month was June, in between elementary school and middle. It was a year or two before I became an Animorph. I struggled to recall it in my own mind, but it was recited in crystal clear precision on the screen. This is what is so remarkable about June. When I lived in my house on Earth, there was a Baptist church about a mile away. Now, as my mom took me to Cassie's house, we would pass by it. One year, I particularly noticed a sign in front of this church. It said: Vacation Bible School - June 1st through 5th - 9 to Noon - Parent Night on June 6th at 7:00 - Refreshments served all week!
Needless to say, I hadn't been to one of these before. I don't know why. They were all over town this time of year. I think it had to do with that my mom didn't think a Christian church would like a Jewish girl. (My dad was Jewish. *) I kept harassing my mom about it until she let me go. The next day I went.
I was amazed at how many kids I knew were there. I had kind of thought that they would be wierdo nerds but no. It was so much fun. We sang, ate, and learned. The concepts were entirely foreign. I had never heard of Jesus Christ, or what Christmas and Easter was really about. So, the last day came and I was feeling a little sad. I didn't want it to end!
We did our singing and eating for the day and just as we were about to leave, my teacher for the week fetched me out of the crowd.
"You look a little sad. What's wrong?"
"I don't want to go."
"Well, your coming tomorrow, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, how about Sunday. You're welcome here every Sunday!"
"Really!" Wow! I loved these people! They were very welcoming and nice. Then I became sad again. "You seem different from my mom and dad. They just got divorced. They weren't nice at all for a while."
"Oh," my teacher said. "I went through that same thing when I was your age. I came to a church such as this and you know what they told me?"
"What?"
"They told me that no one is perfect, not even our best friends. I could still trust them and love them, but they would come to a point and fail. But! You know who is perfect! Jesus! He will never fail you and will always be your friend."
"How can I get him to be my friend?"
"It's simple. You have to pray. Just like we have been talking about all week. We all sin, but once we ask for forgiveness, he is always on our side! This commitment is unconditional. Which means that once we have him in our hearts, he will never leave! Do you want to try it?"
I was so amazed. I HAD to try it. I wanted a friend who understood, understood even more than Cassie. My Mom and Dad loved me, but God's love was perfect. It was not blemished by divorce or separation. So, of course, I did it. I prayed.
Dear Jesus,
I have sinned. I am so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I realize you will save me from my sin and be my friend and lord and savior forever. Please come into my heart and guide me day by day.
Amen.
For the next month, I went to this church. I loved it. My second Sunday there, I was told I would need to be baptized. They did this the first Sunday of every month. I told them I would be there. I now had to get my mother to come.
Getting her to come was an ordeal. She had an excuse for every week. "I have to take care of Sara!" (Who was only two.) "I have work to do for court tomorrow." I hated that one because the next day she stayed home and played with Sara. "I have to meet with a client." "I didn't get enough sleep last night! You wouldn't want me falling asleep in church. That would be embarrassing." I should have responded, "It's EMBARRASSING to have you absent every Sunday." But I didn't say that. I had to honor my mother, the fifth commandment.
Anyway, the Thursday before I am to be baptized, my mother drops a bombshell. "We're going to your grandmother's. We're leaving Saturday and coming back Monday. It's her birthday."
I screamed. "MOM! I'm supposed to be baptized on Sunday!"
"Oh, well. You'll have to reschedule."
"But Mom, I wanted you to be there!"
"Well, I'm sorry. I've never missed my mother's birthday and I'm not going to start because you want to go swimming in the kiddie pool in this church of yours."
What could I do? I ran up the stairs screaming. It made Sara scream as well, which made my mother very angry and just added fuel to the fire. So, Saturday afternoon, I was firmly buckled in the backseat of my mother's car beside Sara. Jordan got to sit in front this time. I wonder why. We got to our grandmother's house in time, where my mother and her mother laughed about my antics over a cup of coffee.
I was so hurt. I decided I couldn't face the people at church. I was too embarrassed to go after blowing off my baptism. I got over it in time. I decided that I would never be embarrassed, or scared of anything ever again. I guess it came in handy when I became an Animorph. Maybe, a little too handy.
After that, there were so many times I said curse words, said No to my parents, the times I lied, and stole, the times I was cruel and selfish, even the times I killed. . . However, the commitment was unconditional, and I was told to go to the right.
You made a commitment to me a long time ago, but it still holds. You may go to the right. But first, look to the left. You'll notice something familiar in it. Okay, now go to the right and DON'T look back! Also, don't worry about your friends. Whether they make it here or not has nothing to do with you. Another thing, by NO means think of yourself as dead!
I looked to the left. It reminded me of the Yeerk pool. In fact, it looked EXACTLY the same! There was a small hole, just the size of an average person. I saw a few people walking towards it. I could hear the screams of the burning souls who had never made a commitment to God. The demons were doing their work, just as the Yeerks were doing on Earth. Then, I looked to the right. Light was pouring into and the opening was huge! You could fit twenty people across it. This is where I was told to go and I went.
I made my way to the right. This is the most glorious moment of my life! I said life, for that is what this is. It is even more than life on Earth because you can not experience life unless you have an experience with the one who created life.
This was the only place where I could experience real peace. I wouldn't have to be fearless or ruthless. I wouldn't have to kill or steal. I didn't even have to eat or sleep. The righteousness of God was enough to sustain us! Here I didn't have to deal with all the human trash that started with the first sin of Adam. I wouldn't have to worry about school or a career. Our only job was to love God. I would never be hurt or broken. Especially here, there was no war. . .
A/N: Next chapter, coming sometime in the current century. . .
