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The Hearts Path

By LeoAngel

Authors notes: Just so you know there will be probably a lot of flashbacks in dreams and stuff. So you might get confused but all will be explained in time. Most of this takes place 13 years after the whole clow advantage.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Cardcaptor characters so don't sue you wont get much.

Parting is worse than death; it is the death of love. (Quote by unknown)

"Sakura-chan please open up!" Kero pleaded from one side of the door. He had an ear up to it and could hear the quiet sobs from the other side. She had been there nearly two days now and showed no signs of coming out. Kero was getting desperate enough to even consider calling the gaki over. That would just ruin his pride completely, but the sight of his mistress in distress was eating him apart. He would do anything for her even if it meant his pride being crumpled into pieces. As much as he hated to admit it the gaki made her happy. If anybody could figure out what was wrong with her it would be him. Kero just wished he knew what had made her so upset in the first place. She had come home her usually happy self. She even brought him home some extra pudding. Then the phone rung and she picked it up. Kero had been happily gabbling down his pudding when he saw his mistresses deadly pale face. He immediately become worried as she dropped the phone and ran into the bathroom. Where she had stayed since that phone call.

"Sakura if you don't let me in I'm going to knock down the door." Kero stated in frustration. He wanted to help but she wouldn't let him. Kero sighed heavily what use was changing into his true form and destroying the door. She needed comforting… comforting that he couldn't provide. So he did the only thing he could think of. He quickly fluttered in the direction of the gaki's house.

Sakura sat in the bathroom with her knees brought up to her chest. She hugged them tightly burying her head in her knees. She was cold, no make that freezing. Her body shivered violently all over, nothing being able to calm her. She tried desperately to make the pain in her chest stop. Everything was spinning around the room; nausea took over as she let what little food she had in her out. New tears fluttered down the path of dried ones. The pain was unbearable; it hurt more than anything had ever before. She had been in there for nearly two days and planned on never coming out. The hungriness that should have come didn't, the pain obviously drowning it out.

"Sakura?" She didn't need to open the door to know whose voice that was. "Sakura… please hun open the door." His tone of voice was that of pleading and despair. She could tell he was trying to hide the worry in his voice. Nonetheless, she couldn't get herself to the door to let him in. He felt miles away even if he was just a few feet.

"She wouldn't open it for me either." Kero sighed sitting wearily on Syaoran's shoulder.

"What happened?" He asked harshly. He knew he shouldn't blame the little yellow stuffed animal, but he couldn't help it. His cherry blossom was completely devastated and he had no idea why. Being nice to the guardian beast of the seal was the last thing on his mind. Kero ignored the tone knowing better than to start a fight at this point and time. After all he was grateful Syaoran had come so quickly.

"I honestly don't know….. she got a phone call that upset her…. I don't know who it was." Kero explained what he hadn't had time to before. He had rushed into Syaoran's apartment saying Sakura needed his help. Immediately Syaoran had run out of his apartment without another thought.

"Sakura please its Syaoran." He tried again but knew it was useless. After a few more minutes of nothing but quiet sobbing Syaoran couldn't stand it anymore. "Back away." He stated to his yellow companion. Kero flew off his shoulder and landed on the couch a few feet away. "Sakura I'm going to come in ok?" After hearing no protest he swiftly knocked the door down with one kick. Syaoran's heart crumpled as he saw his cherry blossom curled up in the corner of the room. He quickly rushed to her side wrapping his arms around her. She let herself be taken into his arms and pulled into his lap. She buried her face in his chest and started to sob. He held her closely to himself trying to warm her freezing body. "Shhhhh its ok." His voice soothed, he ran his hands up and down her back. Her sobs lessoned as he continued to comfort her. When she seemed to finally be calm enough he picked her up in his arms and brought her to the living room. She still clutched onto him as he sat down, but than again he didn't let go of her either. "What happened?" He asked gently. She pulled back a little her emerald eyes meeting his amber ones for the first time that day. He could see the pain clearly in those green orbs. It hurt him but he remained silent waiting for her to explain.

"They they are gone…. Dad Touya… they are gone." Sakura replied each word more painful than the one before. "I'm alone so….. alone." She cried pulling away from Syaoran. She wrapped her arms around her body in a lame attempt to comfort herself.

"Your not alone…. I'm here and I will always be by your side. I love you… you know that." Syaoran promised. Sakura nodded hesitantly letting him pull her back into his embrace. "I promise I'll always be there."

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Sakura woke up gasping for breath. She blinked several times trying to figure out her surrounds. Realization hit her, she was in her small apartment located in New York City.

"Damit another dream!" She exclaimed throwing her pillow against the wall in frustration. "Why won't they leave me alone its been seven years for god sakes!?" She had been having these nightmares of the past since…. forever. She could no longer remember a time when she got a full nights rest. It seemed she relived those horrible past events every single time she closed her eyes. And every time she got some "rest" she would be more tired than the day before. It was really getting to her she felt awful and knew she looked even worse.

"I just want to forget… I don't wanna remember all this pain…. Those stupid promises…. All broken." She mumbled sadly remembering that scene as if it where yesterday. Syaoran-chan had promised to be by her side forever, but he wasn't here. "You lied!" She exclaimed bitterly letting a few tears glisten her eyes. She quickly pushed them away how could she be mad at Syaoran it wasn't his fault. No she could never blame him… there was no one to blame but herself. If only she had gone slower than he would be by her side. Sakura shook her head trying to clear the thoughts out of her mind. Sitting around doing this wouldn't bring him back. She glanced at the clock noticing she had slept past noon. "You'd think I would feel refreshed after sleeping so much sleep." Hastily Sakura threw the covers off herself and walked into the bathroom. She glanced at the girl that stood in front of her in the mirror. She could barely recognize herself from her younger dream version. Sakura had changed greatly and mostly for the worse. Her hair was much longer falling a bit lower than her shoulders. It still held its color but even her hair seemed to have faded. Her emerald eyes had lost its innocence and joy for life. It was replaced with sadness and pain. You could clearly make out dark circles underneath her eyes. Most likely from the lack of sleep she was getting. Sakura sighed deeply looking at her slim form. She knew she was dangerously underweight but most of the time she wasn't hungry. Either that or she was to tired to get herself a decent meal.

"God I look awful." She stated turning on the water to take a nice long shower. She let it warm up than carefully jumped in. It was funny the shower seemed to be the only place that relaxed her. She loved the feel of the water running down her body. It was the most soothing she had in her life right now. But it all ended to soon as the water started to get colder, the hot water obviously running out. She got out than dressed in her work cloths. "I'm going to be late." Sakura muttered looking at her watch. That was one thing that hadn't changed from her younger days. No matter what she never seemed to be able to get anywhere on time. Not that she cared or it mattered, nothing mattered anymore. She quickly threw on her shoes deciding it would be best to try and keep this job. She walked out the door dreading going threw another day.

"Hey Sakura!" Tomoyo greeted enthusiastically as she walked in. Both Sakura and Tomoyo worked as waitresses at Blinkers. Tomoyo only worked part time though since she had persuaded her career in designing. It had gone quite well for her infact. Tomoyo didn't even need to work here but she did. Only because Sakura did and it seemed to be the only time she could spend with her friend. "Another sleepless night?" Tomoyo questioned in a worried tone seeing how tired her friend was. Sakura only nodded in return. She honestly didn't feel like talking not that that was anything new. Tomoyo had come accustomed to it. In fact she was lucky if Sakura said two words to her all day. So Tomoyo usually kept the conversations going while Sakura nodded in return. "Sakura… It's been seven years since Fujitaka and… Touya… and … and one since… Syaoran and…." Tomoyo stated a bit hesitantly. Every time this was brought up they ALWAYS ended up arguing. She didn't even know why she tried anymore. Wait yes she did it was because she loved Sakura. It hurt so much to see her friend in such a life style. Sakura was unhappy all the time she just wished she could let go.

"I'm fine really. I've gotten use to the dreams Tomoyo really." Sakura replied reassuringly knowing she wouldn't get out of this one with a nod.

"That's just it! You shouldn't have to get use to them! You shouldn't have to deal with them! For crist sake Sakura you've got to move on!" Tomoyo exclaimed getting frustrated.

"Just leave me alone!" Sakura replied walking away from Tomoyo.

"Great that's just great another day of Sakura ignoring you… Nice going Tomoyo."

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Leena stood in the doorway of her brother's room. Unnoticed to him yet that she was there. You could easily sneak up on him when he was deep in thought. Which he seemed to be in more and more often. She squinted to see what he was looking at. He had two pieces of paper in his hands. One Leena could make out was a copy of an invitation to Meirin' s and his wedding. She could clearly see the pain in his amber eyes.

"Poor Xiao Lang…" She sighed sadly. Her brother was unhappy and that made herself unhappy two. They had both been close since forever. It made her angry what their mother was doing to her little brother. Just because he was suppose to be the dam Li Clan Leader, but that gave her no right. After the accident poor Xiao Lang had been left without memories of the past. Well he had a few… such as he knew he had been studying to be doctor and everything he learned. But didn't know what college he had been or where he lived. He didn't remember anything… or anyone specific that he was with. So Li-san had torn him away from the people that loved him most. What was worse he didn't even know that he had a family out there. A true family, which was something he could basically never get here. The Li clan was basically all about how much power you had and could get. Not many of them where truthful and even liked anybody else. It just wasn't fair he didn't even remember his love in Japan. Infact 18 years of his life was missing replaced by training or some crap that their mother had made up. She herself would have told Xiao Lang about his past if their mother hadn't forbidden it. Punishment for telling him would be unbearable both Li-san and the elders would carry it out. She was ashamed at herself for not telling him. It made her feel just like the rest of them… But times like these she would almost give in and tell him everything. She had always given little hints, which she was pretty sure he caught onto. Although they seemed to just confuse him more.

Xiao Lang stared at the sheets in his hand. They where two paths that he could choice for his future. The question was which one was right. He could either stay here in Hong Kong with his family…. and marry Meirin. He knew from the start that marrying Meirin was a huge mistake. He didn't love her that was for sure. Well at least not the way he was suppose to, something inside of him kept telling him not to. That there is someone else out there that needs him as badly as he needs her. His chest always hurt as if his heart had been ripped out. He often wondered what his life had been like before the accident. Sure his mother had told him about stuff, but somehow he couldn't shake the feeling that she was lying to him. Plus the fact that his sisters where always hinting at something didn't help.

"But why would she lie to me?" He asked himself confused.

"Maybe you had something out there better than here." Leena stated from the doorway. Xiao Lang jumped up in complete shock. He had been training for a long time… he should have known she was there. That was another thing he remembered training for a while… but than it just went all blank… why didn't he remember after that?

"Leena… what what are you doing?" He stuttered shoving the papers in his desk draw. He couldn't let anybody see his other choice. When he first heard of his marriage to Meirin he had immediately felt wrong. He had applied to some places out of the country to work as a doctor. And he finally got a letter back saying they would accept him. This could be his way out and he didn't want anybody to know.

"I was just passing by." Leena replied.

"What do you mean?… Something else better?" Xiao Lang asked knowing whatever she said always had meaning. Unlike his other three crazy sisters.

"I would tell you if I could….. But you know I can't… Your smart…….. I know you have figured out that something is missing."

"Yes… I know she's been lying to me…. And won't let you guys tell me… and I won't push you for it. I don't want you in trouble. I I can't push her for it either… She'll deny it than I'll be worse off than when I started. Its just so frustrating I know there's something missing but no matter how hard I try I can't remember what." He sighed in frustration.

"I'm sorry…. Listen think carefully about this and with whatever you decide I am behind you 100%. Don't think about anybody else for once be selfish. Follow your heart it will lead the way. This will probably be the hardest task of your life, but don't ever give up." Leena encouraged.

"Thank you Leena… Thank you." He hugged her tightly. Something rarely done since showing emotion was considered a sign of weakness. A sense of sadness waved over Leena. She knew he decided he would leave, now that it was conformed there was something out there waiting for him. She would miss him but if he was happy than she was.

"Good luck little brother. Get some rest…. I suspect you'll have a lot of traveling to do." With that Leena left the room knowing he probably wouldn't be there when she returned.

"Goodbye sister and thank you." Xiao Lang pulled out a suitcase immediately and started packing. He was going to get out of here first thing. The sooner he left the better. He didn't want anything to ruin this.

Ok hope you enjoyed it so far. I know I'm not too good with spelling and grammar. Sorry about that but its just not one of my strong points. Please review and keep in mind this is my first CardCaptor Sakura fanfic. I haven't even seen all of the episodes but I know mostly what happens. Thanks for read!

~~LeoAngel~~