Live from DustBunnyLand, it's THE CHARCOAL SHOW! Welcome!
I have a fish! Fish! Fish!
It's name is Jim! Jim! Jim!
I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned!
'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Episode One: RANDom Talk
Weasel: welcome to the first REAL episode of--
Scribble: The Charcoal Show!
Weasel: The show where we capture random Wheel of Time characters--
Scribble: And force them to reveal their most HIDEOUS secrets!
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Scribble: Today's guest is none other than Rand al'Thor, the Dragon Reborn!
*random people drag Rand onstage*
Weasel: Our first question is from me, Weas--
Rand: o.O What am I doing here?
Weasel: ^_^ We are going to ask you questions--
Scribble: ^_^ And force you to reveal your most HIDEOUS secrets!
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
Rand: O.O You people scare me.
Weasle: ^_^ Thank you! My question is, "Why are you so strange-looking? Why is my name Weasle? Is that really how WEASLE is spelled? Why don't you have an X in your name? How come you have birdies on your hands? Did you know that I have a pet weasel? Did you know that I was lying? Do you like weasels? Do you have any sugar? Can you give me it? Well? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Rand: o.o .......... Could you repeat that?
Weasel: I forgot what I just said! ^_^
Scribble: You have to answer the questions, or we'll sic Nynaeve on you.
Rand: O.O Nynaeve? Where? GET ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!
Weasel: Answer the question, or I'll sic a very mad Aviendha with a spear on Min. ^_^
Rand: Min? Aviendha! Don't do it!
Scribble: Answer the questions.
Rand: I am Aiel. Because it is. No. My name is Rand al'Thor, not something with an X in it. Because I am the Dragon Reborn. No. No. I've never seen a weasel. I don't know but I wish you wouldn't. No. No. I just did. *gasps for breath*
Weasel: *unplugs ears* I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. ^_^
Rand: -_-;
Scribble: Ooooooooookay. Next question is from lemmings-please. She asks, "WHY WAS HE DUMB ENOUGH TO GET BONDED AS THAT HORRIBLE EVIL STUPID AES SEDAI'S (e.g. Allanna Mosvani) WARDER? HE'S ALWAYS SAYING "don't trust anybody, don't trust anybody" YET HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO LET HER HOLD HIS HEAD AND USE THE POWER! IS THAT TRUSTING OR WHAT?"
Weasel: Yeah... why DID you trust her then? You weren't... O.O RAND'S CHEATING ON HIS OTHER THREE GIRLFRIENDS!
Rand: o.o; I am?
Weasel: SCRIBBLE! SCRIBBLE! HE ADMITTED IT! HE SAID "I AM"!
Scribble: Weasel, I don't think--
Weasel: I'm going to take this security camera's tape and post it on the Wheel of Time message board thingy for everyone to see and gossip about! *waves tape around head and transports away from DustBunnyLand*
Rand: O.O
Scribble: O.O
Rand: She didn't...
Scribble: She did...
Rand: Oh no. I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!! But, um, crazy lady--
Scribble: Scribble. Weasel is the crazy one.
Rand: Uh, Scribble, I am ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE TO ESCAPE!
Scribble: Well, with Weasel around, I can't exactly blame you.
Rand: *gulp* Well, yeah. Um, I, uh, I just wanted to know if, uh, *gulp* if you, uh, *whispers in Scribble's ear*
Scribble: *grinning* Of course! Get a nice pretty one for me, and I'll get you out as soon as possible. If Weasel tries to keep you here, I'll just, uh, *hold up cellphone in explanation*
Rand: -.- Yeah, sure. *can't believe what he just asked Scribble to do in exchange for escape*
Scribble: ^_^ It's a deal! Our next question is from for-the-shire, who asks, "Why do pink bunny rabbits like to swim in heaping mounds of chocolate by the seashore on christmas day with a neon orange beaver with a bad leg? And is it cold?"
Rand: o.o Uh, maybe, because the bunny is, uh, hungry and lonely? And, uh, no, I don't feel particularly cold.
Scribble: Good enough for me! Your next question is from, uh, your best friend Demandred.
Rand: O.O
Scribble: ^_^; Yes, well, he asks, "Can I have Callandor and the male version of the Choedan Kal?"
Rand: NOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE ALL MINE! MINE, I SA-- I mean, uh, I think that Narishma still has Callandor, and, uh, I dropped the Choedan Kal somewhere. Yeah, that's it! ^_^
Scribble: -.-; Tell the truth, Rand...
Rand: ^_^; heh, heh... What EVER do you mean?
Scribble: Oh, Nynaeve...
Rand: O.O WAIT! No, you can't have them, I LIKE handling incredibly vast amounts of saidin! Except when I throw up!
*Demandred stands up in audience*
Demandred: . I HATE YOU, AL'THOR! I WILL GET THEM! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! *sits down again*
Rand: Who invited HIM?
Scribble: ^_^ Probably Weasel.
Weasel: *appears out of nowhere* I'm BAAAAAACK! Did I hear my name?
Rand: *sobs silently*
Scribble: Sure took you long enough.
Weasel: Yeah, well, YOU try finding three random girls, and getting them all to sit and watch the tape! I am NOT doing that again.
Scribble: Can I quote you on that?
Weasel: *glares*
Scribble: ^_^; Anyways, next question! Buttered-onions asks, "Which of the three girls is your favorite? Oh, yes, and I'd also like to ask Weasel why she gets so upset when people call her Pink Furby..."
Weasel: DO NOT UTTER THAT EVIL NAME!!!!! And yes, Rand, which of the three girls is your favorite? Wait... which three? Alanna, Min, and Elayne, or Alanna, Elayne, and Aviendha, or Ala--
Rand: ALANNA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! ELAYNE, MIN, AND AVIENDHA ARE!!!
Weasel: *wink wink* Oh, so you're on first name terms, huh?
Rand: AAHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate you all! I'm going to weave a gateway to get me out of here!
Weasel: That's where technology comes in! I found this baby *pats big machine labeled "Artificial Stedding Maker: Cuts everyone off from the True Source within twenty miles"* lying in the garage.
Rand: -.- I hate you all.
Weasel: ^_^ Thanks! Your next question is from Marissa Taim of the Green Ajah. She asks, "Which of your women is best at *cough cough*... well, you know."
Rand: O.O Uh...
Weasel: Yeah, who? Alanna? *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Rand: *sobs brokenly* ;_;
Scribble: Weasel, please don't mention the A word again.
Weasel: What? ALANNA?
Rand: *sobs harder*
Weasel: Because I made him CRY? Cadsuane and Sorilea said he needed laughter and tears. I gave him tears.
Scribble: Then give him laughter.
Weasel: Easy. *to Rand* Look. You'd better start laughing or I'll get Nynaeve, Elayne, Min, and Aviendha, show them this tape, give them all their weapon of choice, and sic them all on you.
Rand: *begins laughing hysterically* XD
Weasel: See, Scribble! I told you!
Scribble: -.-
Rand: *still laughing*
Weasel: Shut up.
Rand: ..........
Weasel: Plaidly Lush asks, "Is it true you went skinny dipping with Egwene when you were sixteen?
Rand: Uh, *twitch* of course not, *twitch* what ever made you think that *twitch* ?
Both: O.O
Scribble: Um, okay, your next question is from Britt. They ask, "Will you marry me?" *puts on forced grin* Yes Rand, tell us, will you? *makes gesture promising death if he answers incorrectly*
Rand: *twitch* Of course not. I'm *gulp* already Promised. *carefully avoids looking at Scribble and Weasel*
Scribble: ^_^ Good answer!
Weasel: Yeah, he already has four girlfriends.
Rand: ALANNA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! Although I suppose I do have four now... *hastily covers his mouth*
Scribble: *glares*
Weasel: *looks from Rand to Scribble, then shrugs it off* Okay, your last question is from Scribble.
Scribble: Yes. I ask, "Why are you the Dragon Reborn?"
Rand: That's easy. Because I'm special! ^_^
Scribble: -_-;
Weasel: -_-;
Rand: Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
Both: -_-;
Rand: Also because Moiraine told me so.
Weasel: Does that mean that if I tell you to jump off a cliff you will?
Rand: No.
Weasel: You listened to Moiraine...
Rand: Moiraine is different.
Weasel: O.O Did you like Moiraine too? *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Rand: NO!!!!!!! Moiraine just had a pretty blue stone... shiny... *_*
Weasel: *_* Shiny.......
Scribble: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? ANYONE HOME!?
Rand: Can I leave now?
Weasel: No.
Scribble: Yes.
Rand: I can?
Weasel: No.
Scribble: Yes.
Rand: Will you puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me go?
Scribble: *whacks Weasel on the head with Cellphone of Unconciousness* Yes.
Rand: Thanks! *transports away from DustBunnyLand*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hey, everybody! I hope you all enjoyed the episode. We plan to be torturing--I mean, starring--Nynaeve next. So send in your comments!
On the same line as the comments, we just found out that we're not supposed to be using the review board as a message board. So from now on, if you have a question for us to fire at the next guest, email it to us at four_the_shire@yahoo.com. If you have an ACTUAL review, use the little button down below... you know what I'm talking about.
Also we need suggestions for the victim--I mean star--AFTER Nynaeve! So send in requests for that too.
The smart one who is very pleased with how today's episode worked out ^_^,
Scribble
The insane one, who is happy she got to annoy Rand:
Weasel Scribble, I really don't like it when you do th--
The smart one says: That's all the time we have today, folks! Bye!
The insane one says: Scribble, all I want to say is NOT TO CALL ME INSANE ANY MO--
I have a fish! Fish! Fish!
It's name is Jim! Jim! Jim!
I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned!
'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Episode One: RANDom Talk
Weasel: welcome to the first REAL episode of--
Scribble: The Charcoal Show!
Weasel: The show where we capture random Wheel of Time characters--
Scribble: And force them to reveal their most HIDEOUS secrets!
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Scribble: Today's guest is none other than Rand al'Thor, the Dragon Reborn!
*random people drag Rand onstage*
Weasel: Our first question is from me, Weas--
Rand: o.O What am I doing here?
Weasel: ^_^ We are going to ask you questions--
Scribble: ^_^ And force you to reveal your most HIDEOUS secrets!
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
Rand: O.O You people scare me.
Weasle: ^_^ Thank you! My question is, "Why are you so strange-looking? Why is my name Weasle? Is that really how WEASLE is spelled? Why don't you have an X in your name? How come you have birdies on your hands? Did you know that I have a pet weasel? Did you know that I was lying? Do you like weasels? Do you have any sugar? Can you give me it? Well? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Rand: o.o .......... Could you repeat that?
Weasel: I forgot what I just said! ^_^
Scribble: You have to answer the questions, or we'll sic Nynaeve on you.
Rand: O.O Nynaeve? Where? GET ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!
Weasel: Answer the question, or I'll sic a very mad Aviendha with a spear on Min. ^_^
Rand: Min? Aviendha! Don't do it!
Scribble: Answer the questions.
Rand: I am Aiel. Because it is. No. My name is Rand al'Thor, not something with an X in it. Because I am the Dragon Reborn. No. No. I've never seen a weasel. I don't know but I wish you wouldn't. No. No. I just did. *gasps for breath*
Weasel: *unplugs ears* I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. ^_^
Rand: -_-;
Scribble: Ooooooooookay. Next question is from lemmings-please. She asks, "WHY WAS HE DUMB ENOUGH TO GET BONDED AS THAT HORRIBLE EVIL STUPID AES SEDAI'S (e.g. Allanna Mosvani) WARDER? HE'S ALWAYS SAYING "don't trust anybody, don't trust anybody" YET HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO LET HER HOLD HIS HEAD AND USE THE POWER! IS THAT TRUSTING OR WHAT?"
Weasel: Yeah... why DID you trust her then? You weren't... O.O RAND'S CHEATING ON HIS OTHER THREE GIRLFRIENDS!
Rand: o.o; I am?
Weasel: SCRIBBLE! SCRIBBLE! HE ADMITTED IT! HE SAID "I AM"!
Scribble: Weasel, I don't think--
Weasel: I'm going to take this security camera's tape and post it on the Wheel of Time message board thingy for everyone to see and gossip about! *waves tape around head and transports away from DustBunnyLand*
Rand: O.O
Scribble: O.O
Rand: She didn't...
Scribble: She did...
Rand: Oh no. I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!! But, um, crazy lady--
Scribble: Scribble. Weasel is the crazy one.
Rand: Uh, Scribble, I am ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE TO ESCAPE!
Scribble: Well, with Weasel around, I can't exactly blame you.
Rand: *gulp* Well, yeah. Um, I, uh, I just wanted to know if, uh, *gulp* if you, uh, *whispers in Scribble's ear*
Scribble: *grinning* Of course! Get a nice pretty one for me, and I'll get you out as soon as possible. If Weasel tries to keep you here, I'll just, uh, *hold up cellphone in explanation*
Rand: -.- Yeah, sure. *can't believe what he just asked Scribble to do in exchange for escape*
Scribble: ^_^ It's a deal! Our next question is from for-the-shire, who asks, "Why do pink bunny rabbits like to swim in heaping mounds of chocolate by the seashore on christmas day with a neon orange beaver with a bad leg? And is it cold?"
Rand: o.o Uh, maybe, because the bunny is, uh, hungry and lonely? And, uh, no, I don't feel particularly cold.
Scribble: Good enough for me! Your next question is from, uh, your best friend Demandred.
Rand: O.O
Scribble: ^_^; Yes, well, he asks, "Can I have Callandor and the male version of the Choedan Kal?"
Rand: NOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE ALL MINE! MINE, I SA-- I mean, uh, I think that Narishma still has Callandor, and, uh, I dropped the Choedan Kal somewhere. Yeah, that's it! ^_^
Scribble: -.-; Tell the truth, Rand...
Rand: ^_^; heh, heh... What EVER do you mean?
Scribble: Oh, Nynaeve...
Rand: O.O WAIT! No, you can't have them, I LIKE handling incredibly vast amounts of saidin! Except when I throw up!
*Demandred stands up in audience*
Demandred: . I HATE YOU, AL'THOR! I WILL GET THEM! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! *sits down again*
Rand: Who invited HIM?
Scribble: ^_^ Probably Weasel.
Weasel: *appears out of nowhere* I'm BAAAAAACK! Did I hear my name?
Rand: *sobs silently*
Scribble: Sure took you long enough.
Weasel: Yeah, well, YOU try finding three random girls, and getting them all to sit and watch the tape! I am NOT doing that again.
Scribble: Can I quote you on that?
Weasel: *glares*
Scribble: ^_^; Anyways, next question! Buttered-onions asks, "Which of the three girls is your favorite? Oh, yes, and I'd also like to ask Weasel why she gets so upset when people call her Pink Furby..."
Weasel: DO NOT UTTER THAT EVIL NAME!!!!! And yes, Rand, which of the three girls is your favorite? Wait... which three? Alanna, Min, and Elayne, or Alanna, Elayne, and Aviendha, or Ala--
Rand: ALANNA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! ELAYNE, MIN, AND AVIENDHA ARE!!!
Weasel: *wink wink* Oh, so you're on first name terms, huh?
Rand: AAHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate you all! I'm going to weave a gateway to get me out of here!
Weasel: That's where technology comes in! I found this baby *pats big machine labeled "Artificial Stedding Maker: Cuts everyone off from the True Source within twenty miles"* lying in the garage.
Rand: -.- I hate you all.
Weasel: ^_^ Thanks! Your next question is from Marissa Taim of the Green Ajah. She asks, "Which of your women is best at *cough cough*... well, you know."
Rand: O.O Uh...
Weasel: Yeah, who? Alanna? *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Rand: *sobs brokenly* ;_;
Scribble: Weasel, please don't mention the A word again.
Weasel: What? ALANNA?
Rand: *sobs harder*
Weasel: Because I made him CRY? Cadsuane and Sorilea said he needed laughter and tears. I gave him tears.
Scribble: Then give him laughter.
Weasel: Easy. *to Rand* Look. You'd better start laughing or I'll get Nynaeve, Elayne, Min, and Aviendha, show them this tape, give them all their weapon of choice, and sic them all on you.
Rand: *begins laughing hysterically* XD
Weasel: See, Scribble! I told you!
Scribble: -.-
Rand: *still laughing*
Weasel: Shut up.
Rand: ..........
Weasel: Plaidly Lush asks, "Is it true you went skinny dipping with Egwene when you were sixteen?
Rand: Uh, *twitch* of course not, *twitch* what ever made you think that *twitch* ?
Both: O.O
Scribble: Um, okay, your next question is from Britt. They ask, "Will you marry me?" *puts on forced grin* Yes Rand, tell us, will you? *makes gesture promising death if he answers incorrectly*
Rand: *twitch* Of course not. I'm *gulp* already Promised. *carefully avoids looking at Scribble and Weasel*
Scribble: ^_^ Good answer!
Weasel: Yeah, he already has four girlfriends.
Rand: ALANNA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! Although I suppose I do have four now... *hastily covers his mouth*
Scribble: *glares*
Weasel: *looks from Rand to Scribble, then shrugs it off* Okay, your last question is from Scribble.
Scribble: Yes. I ask, "Why are you the Dragon Reborn?"
Rand: That's easy. Because I'm special! ^_^
Scribble: -_-;
Weasel: -_-;
Rand: Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
Both: -_-;
Rand: Also because Moiraine told me so.
Weasel: Does that mean that if I tell you to jump off a cliff you will?
Rand: No.
Weasel: You listened to Moiraine...
Rand: Moiraine is different.
Weasel: O.O Did you like Moiraine too? *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Rand: NO!!!!!!! Moiraine just had a pretty blue stone... shiny... *_*
Weasel: *_* Shiny.......
Scribble: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? ANYONE HOME!?
Rand: Can I leave now?
Weasel: No.
Scribble: Yes.
Rand: I can?
Weasel: No.
Scribble: Yes.
Rand: Will you puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me go?
Scribble: *whacks Weasel on the head with Cellphone of Unconciousness* Yes.
Rand: Thanks! *transports away from DustBunnyLand*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hey, everybody! I hope you all enjoyed the episode. We plan to be torturing--I mean, starring--Nynaeve next. So send in your comments!
On the same line as the comments, we just found out that we're not supposed to be using the review board as a message board. So from now on, if you have a question for us to fire at the next guest, email it to us at four_the_shire@yahoo.com. If you have an ACTUAL review, use the little button down below... you know what I'm talking about.
Also we need suggestions for the victim--I mean star--AFTER Nynaeve! So send in requests for that too.
The smart one who is very pleased with how today's episode worked out ^_^,
Scribble
The insane one, who is happy she got to annoy Rand:
Weasel Scribble, I really don't like it when you do th--
The smart one says: That's all the time we have today, folks! Bye!
The insane one says: Scribble, all I want to say is NOT TO CALL ME INSANE ANY MO--
