Live from DustBunnyLand, it's THE CHARCOAL SHOW! Welcome!
I have a fish! Fish! Fish!
Its name is Jim! Jim! Jim!
I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned!
'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Episode Two: You pull, I slap
Weasel: Hi everybody! *waves energetically*
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Audience: *is silent*
Weasel: *frowns* Let's try that again. Hi everybody!
Audience: *still silent*
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: *glares* SAY HI OR I'LL EAT SUGAR!
Audience: O.O Hi.
Weasel: ^_^ That's better. Welcome to the Charcoal Show, everybody!
Audience: *silence*
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: Come on, people! Where's the enthusiasm today?
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: -.- In the crickets. Right.
Crickets: *cheepcheepcheepcheepcheep*
Weasel: *brightens up* Well, at least the crickets love me!
Crickets: *stop*
Weasel: -.- The first one of you I find I'm going to step on.
Crickets: *cheepcheepcheepcheep*
Weasel: ^_^ I knew you loved me!
Crickets: *silence*
Weasel: That's it! I'm going to--
Random person: Where's Scribble?
Weasel: *becomes aware that she is standing all alone on the stage* o.O Oh. Um...Scribble...she...went to get me some sugar!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Another random person: Oh, come on! That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard! Everybody knows that you+sugar is a disaster waiting to happen!
Weasel: Yeah, I guess you're...HEY!
Audience: *laughs*
Weasel: STOP LAUGHING!
Audience: *laughs harder*
Weasel: STOP IT! NOW!!! OR I'LL EAT SOME SUGAR!
Some other random person: You don't have any sugar!
Weasel: *becomes aware she has no sugar* WAAAAAAA! And I'm broke, too! Don't laugh at me! T_T
Yet another random person: We want Scribble!
Audience: *chants* Scribble! Scribble!
Weasel : *panicking slightly* Uh...she'll be here soon...but in the meantime you have me!
Audience: *boos and throws tomatoes at Weasel*
Weasel: *whimpers* Please, no! I'm allergic to tomatoes! *breaks out in hives* That wasn't very nice!
Random person #5: Hey! I've got an idea! How about we mob Weasel and make her tell us where Scribble is!
Audience: *roars with approval*
Random person #6: *drags out a box labeled: "Mobbing Equipment" and passes the stuff out*
Weasel: O.O *thinks* So that's where my box went...
Audience: *begins to move towards stage, chanting* Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!
Weasel: *begins to back away* Calm down people! Scribble will be here shortly.I hope.try to keep your tempers.*brain begins functioning* PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! AAAAAAA! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEE! *abandons all dignity and climbs up the curtain in an attempt to get away*
Audience: *begins pulling on curtain to get Weasel down* Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!
Weasel: SCRIBBLE HELP ME!!!!!
*door slamming is heard. Scribble walks out onto stage. Audience stops pulling and applauds madly*
Scribble: Uh...thanks...everybody...but what's going on?
Weasel: Ask them! Ask THEM!
Scribble: *notices Weasel* What are you doing up there?
Weasel: Thank goodness you're here! The audience was going to mob me!
Scribble: Oh, they wouldn't do that!
Weasel: Yes they would!
Scribble: I don't think so. *turns to audience, who have all scurried back to their seats* Would you?
Audience: *little halos appear over each of them* *chants as one* We didn't do anything, Scribble!
Scribble: -.- Weasel...
Weasel: They were mobbing me! I swear! *to audience* Little devils...
Scribble: Get down here so we can start the show.
Weasel: *climbs down* I already started it. Why were you late?
Scribble: O.O Did you really start the show?
Weasel: *nods*
Scribble: *stares blankly, than seizes Weasel and hugs her* You're so nice! Starting the show for me...
Weasel: Scribble...
Scribble: *sobbing* T_T You're the best friend anyone could ever have!
Audience: Awwww...
Weasel: o.O Scribble...can't...breathe...
Scribble: Oh, sorry. *lets go of Weasel and wipes away tears* Thank you, though. It must've been fun keeping the audience entertained...
Weasel: Uh, yeah...entertained...Scribble, are you all right?
Scribble: Never better.
Random Person #7: We want Scribble to start the show!
Scribble: Uh...didn't Weasel---
Audience: Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!
Scribble: Oh, all right. *takes a breath* Hi everybody, welcome to---
Audience: THE CHARCOAL SHOW! *applauds wildly*
Scribble: *mutters to Weasel* I'm surprised they know it so well by only the second episode.
Weasel: *in shock* They took my line...
Scribble: Here we kidnap random Wheel of Time characters and---
Audience: FORCE THEM TO REVEAL---
Weasel: HEY! MY LINE! DIE, AUDIENCE, DIE!
Scribble: Weasel!
Weasel: What?
Scribble: No threatening our viewers!
Weasel: ^_^; Oops. Heh...heh...
Scribble: So much for you being a wonderful friend.
Weasel: *shoots death glare at Scribble*
Scribble: ^_^;;;;;;;...sorry.
Weasel: That's better. Now let's get on with it. The audience is getting bored.
Audience: *bored*
Scribble: For Weasel's benefit, I'll give her her cue again. *whispers to audience* Please don't take it...she's already going to kill me for being late...*resumes normal voice* Anyway, this is the show where we kidnap random Wheel of Time characters---
Weasel: And force them to reveal their most HIDEOUS secrets!
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Weasel: But before we bring out our next guest, I have a question for Scribble!
Scribble: Me? Well, ok.
Weasel: *speaks as calmly as possible* Why. Were. You. *explodes* LATE????
Scribble: Oh, that. I couldn't get my contacts in.
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: Why do you cheep for her? She didn't even compliment you!
Cricket: Neither did you.
Weasel: You can TALK? I thought you could only cheep!
Cricket: Shows what you know.
Weasel: Hey...
Scribble: Am I missing something?
Weasel: *turns back to Scribble and gives her a look*
Scribble: Whaaaaaaaat?
Weasel: You got contacts.
Scribble: Well, yeah, why else would I be appearing LIVE on TV without my glasses?
Audience: *silence for a moment, than bursts into applause. All the boys give catcalls*
Scribble: *blushing modestly* Oh, shut up.
Audience: *shuts up*
Weasel: Hey, how come they listen to you and not---
Scribble: *notices viewers starting to get anxious* You know, this has got to be the longest preamble I've ever done. It's over 5 pages long!
Weasel: O.O We should get started.
Scribble: Thank you for your patience, PATIENT viewers, now please welcome.
Weasel: Our next torturee---I mean, guest---Nynaeve Al'Meara!
*random people drag Nynaeve onstage*
Nynaeve: What? Where am I? What's going on? Who are you?
Scribble: I'm Scribble and she's the Insane One.
Weasel: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
Scribble: ^_^; Weasel.
Weasel: That's not what I THOUGHT you called me...
Scribble: Hey, I could be calling you something involving a color off of red and a certain robotic stuffed animal.
Weasel: O.O AAAAA! NOT THE FURBY!!!!
Nynaeve: You people scare me.
Weasel: ^_^ Thank you! We scared Rand too!
Nynaeve: O.O Rand was here?
Scribble: Well, yeah, didn't he tell you?
Nynaeve: Nooo..
Weasel: Anyway.my question to you is how do you pronounce your first name?
Nynaeve: Nynaeve.
Both: *enlightened* Ahhhhh...
Scribble: Our next question is from Erica Smith. "Can you ask Nynaeve does she ever pull out her braid?"
Weasel: Yeah, what's the story behind this whole braid-pulling thing?
Nynaeve: Um...no, I have never pulled out my braid and there is no story. I just do. *pulls on braid*
Scribble: Don't do that.
Weasel: Your next question is from Jade Sedai. She asks, "Aren't you ever afraid that you'll pull your braid out of your head? Why DO you pull on your braid in the first place?---"
Nynaeve: Slow down! No, I am never afraid I will pull my braid out because I don't pull it that hard. And I already SAID that I pull on my braid because I just do. *pulls braid*
Scribble: I TOLD you not to do that!
Nynaeve: Is there some sort of repetiveness for this show? You've asked me the same questions twice...*pulls braid*
Scribble: You do that one more time and I will slap you.
Weasel: Scribble...
Nynaeve: You can't slap me! I can channel...
Weasel: Scribble!
Scribble: Yeah, when you're angry.
Weasel: SCRIBBLE.
Nynaeve: -.- I hate you.
Weasel: SCRIBBLE!
Scribble: What?
Weasel: Jade Sedai left us a note!
Scribble: No way! Let me see!
Both: *huddle around note*
Nynaeve: *tries to sneak away*
Scribble: Nice try, Nynaeve, but you can't leave until we say you can.
Nynaeve: Well why not?
Weasel: Because we have magical host powers!
Scribble: Everything on this show we control. Even you.
Nynaeve: *pulls braid*
Scribble: *slap*
Nynaeve: Hey!
Scribble: I warned you.
Weasel: *stares at Scribble* Scribble, are you SURE you're feeling all right?
Scribble: I told you, never better. Why?
Nynaeve: So there IS some sort of repetitiveness on this show!
Weasel: No. It's randomness. And Scribble, you're acting all weird. Normally I'm the one who'd be slapping Nynaeve...*brain kicks in* Hey! I wanna slap her!
Nynaeve: That's not fair...
Scribble: You're right. It's life.
Weasel: Can I slap her?
Nynaeve: NOO!!!
Scribble: If she pulls her braid again. *to Nynaeve* And she slaps hard. Rodney was out for a week last time she slapped him.
Nynaeve: o.O;;;*makes small noise*
Weasel: *grins*Anyway. Channeling Wisdom asks: "I have a question for Nynaeve! Can I borrow Lan's ring to play frisbee? And can she go ask Robert Flaming Jordan if he can kill Myrelle for me? And if he won't, can Nynaeve?"
Nynaeve: NO. MY RING. IT'S MINE---
Scribble: ---my own---
Weasel: *insane look*---my Precioussssssss.
Nynaeve: *looks revolted*
Hosts: *laugh insanely*
Nynaeve: Ohhhhh. Um, I don't know anybody named Robert Flaming Jordan, but I'd be more than happy to kill Myrelle for you!
Weasel: Moving on. Next question is from Fireblade! "hehe. Funny. Uh, Nynaeve, do you happen to know that my muse Scheherezade sorta looks like you? And she has the same temper? Only worse? Oh, and do you know what monksbane and wolfshood are?"
Nynaeve: I did not know you had a muse. And how can her temper be the same but worse? And yes I do know what monksbane and wolfshood are but I'm not going to tell you. Go figure out yourself. *hand moves up to braid*
Weasel: *starts smiling evilly*
Nynaeve: *hand drops*
Weasel: *smile falters*
Scribble: Next question. This is from Your Best Friend Moghedien. "AHHH!! GIMME AN A'DAM THINGIE!!! KILL!! ENSLAVE!!! EVIL-PERSON-I-AM-LILLEN-MOIRAL- NO-NOT-THE-TRUE-NAME-I-AM-GOING-MAD-NO-I-AM-CHANNELING-----AHHHHHHH! THE CURSE OF THE CAPS LOCK KILL I CAN CHANNEL THE TRUE POWER I AM MOGHEDIEN NOT LILLEN MOIRAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---"
Weasel: Scribble? Scribble! Breathe!
Scribble: o.O *passes out from lack of air*
Audience: NOOOOOOO!!!!
Weasel: O.O Um...I'll just finish the question. "oh yeah Nynaeve, you can't handle the Choedan Kal, you suck. haha. From Cyndane: Tell Rand I'll sic you on him if you DO something else with your 5 girlfriends."
Nynaeve: ^_^;; I'll be sure to tell him. Wait a second, FIVE?
Weasel: Yeah. There's Elayne, and Aviendha, Min, Alanna...wait, FIVE?
Nynaeve: That's what I thought! How did you get five?
Scribble: *pretends to be unconscious, is really listening* *thinks* Darn...the number really is five...I hope Cyndane doesn't know...
Weasel: You're not allowed to ask the questions. That's for the hosts.
Nynaeve: I'll just tell him.
Scribble: *sits up* If we let you go, will you forget that?
Nynaeve: Yes! Yes! Let me go!
Weasel: Not so fast. Scribble, why---
Cell phone: *ring*
Weasel: O.O I know that song! *begins to sing* I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves---
Scribble: Shut up.
Weasel: *sings at the top of her lungs* I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES...
Scribble: *whacks her with Cellphone of Unconsciousness*
Cellphone: *beep*
Scribble: Um...hey Nynaeve, you can go, I have to return this call.
Nynaeve: THANK YOU!
Weasel: Not so fast! I didn't get to slap you!
Nynaeve: NOOO!
Scribble: Can you guys pipe down? *to cell phone* Hello? No, this is the UFO. Of course it's me you idiot!
Weasel: While she's on the phone, you will get SLAPPED.
Nynaeve: You have no reason to slap me. I did not pull my braid.
Weasel: I bet you will.
Nynaeve: I bet I won't.
Weasel: Fine. But whatever you do, try NOT to think about pulling your braid.
Nynaeve: I won't.
Scribble: Can you guys just be quiet for a sec? *to phone* Look, this is NOT a good time. I'm on the show right now!...look, I'm sorry if it's important, but I'll have to call you back...WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO CAN DO? I CAN DO IT FOR YOU!
Weasel: Who is it? Can do what? Tell me!
Scribble: No way. *to phone* I don't care if you can transport me to another place, I KNOW you wouldn't do that...look, I really have to go.
Weasel: Who are you talking to? Tell me! Telllllll!
Scribble: *to phone* I'll give you a chance to hang up or the whole thing's off. Yes, I WOULD do that. You have 5 seconds. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
Cell phone: *click*
Scribble: Thank you. *to Weasel* What was the question?
Weasel: Who were you talking to?
Scribble: My...boyfriend.
Weasel: o.O You have a boyfriend?
Boys in Audience: *cry* T.T
Scribble: Well, not exactly. He's walking on thin ice with me. I'm about ready to dump him.
Boys: *cheer up*
Weasel: So who's your boyfriend?
Scribble: I'm not ABOUT to tell you.
Weasel: Pleeeeeeeease?
Scribble: No.
Weasel: I'll slap Nynaeve if you don't.
Nynaeve: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. TELL TELL TELL TELL.
Scribble: As much as it pains me to see you hurting a guest, I'll still say...
Nynaeve: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Scribble: How'd you know?
Weasel: YES! GET OVER HERE, NYNAEVE! *raises hand*
Nynaeve: NOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! *begins running around insanely*
Weasel: *chases*
Nynaeve: *runs out door*
Weasel: *follows*
Scribble: Oooooook. Well, I guess that's it for us. See you all next time on---
Audience: THE CHARCOAL SHOW!
Weasel: *from somewhere miles and miles away* HEY! MY LINE!
Hey everybody! Scribble here. While Weasel's off chasing Nynaeve, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you all to EMAIL your questions to us. We've got a new policy now; questions asked in reviews will be ignored and fed to Gertrude the Angry Gopher. Same as flames. If you have an ACTUAL comment, feel free to leave it in a review, but otherwise, kindly email us your question. Our address is still four_the_shire@yahoo.com (you can find it on the bio page), and in your email, please state your penname and your question(s). Reason for this is we don't want to be kicked off fanfiction.net. Thank you.
Next time on The Charcoal Show, we will be featuring Egwene! So send in your questions for her! Also, if you could please request people for after her, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
~Scribble
PS By the way, Weasel, you left Elvenblood at my house...
I have a fish! Fish! Fish!
Its name is Jim! Jim! Jim!
I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned!
'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Episode Two: You pull, I slap
Weasel: Hi everybody! *waves energetically*
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Audience: *is silent*
Weasel: *frowns* Let's try that again. Hi everybody!
Audience: *still silent*
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: *glares* SAY HI OR I'LL EAT SUGAR!
Audience: O.O Hi.
Weasel: ^_^ That's better. Welcome to the Charcoal Show, everybody!
Audience: *silence*
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: Come on, people! Where's the enthusiasm today?
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: -.- In the crickets. Right.
Crickets: *cheepcheepcheepcheepcheep*
Weasel: *brightens up* Well, at least the crickets love me!
Crickets: *stop*
Weasel: -.- The first one of you I find I'm going to step on.
Crickets: *cheepcheepcheepcheep*
Weasel: ^_^ I knew you loved me!
Crickets: *silence*
Weasel: That's it! I'm going to--
Random person: Where's Scribble?
Weasel: *becomes aware that she is standing all alone on the stage* o.O Oh. Um...Scribble...she...went to get me some sugar!
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Another random person: Oh, come on! That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard! Everybody knows that you+sugar is a disaster waiting to happen!
Weasel: Yeah, I guess you're...HEY!
Audience: *laughs*
Weasel: STOP LAUGHING!
Audience: *laughs harder*
Weasel: STOP IT! NOW!!! OR I'LL EAT SOME SUGAR!
Some other random person: You don't have any sugar!
Weasel: *becomes aware she has no sugar* WAAAAAAA! And I'm broke, too! Don't laugh at me! T_T
Yet another random person: We want Scribble!
Audience: *chants* Scribble! Scribble!
Weasel : *panicking slightly* Uh...she'll be here soon...but in the meantime you have me!
Audience: *boos and throws tomatoes at Weasel*
Weasel: *whimpers* Please, no! I'm allergic to tomatoes! *breaks out in hives* That wasn't very nice!
Random person #5: Hey! I've got an idea! How about we mob Weasel and make her tell us where Scribble is!
Audience: *roars with approval*
Random person #6: *drags out a box labeled: "Mobbing Equipment" and passes the stuff out*
Weasel: O.O *thinks* So that's where my box went...
Audience: *begins to move towards stage, chanting* Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!
Weasel: *begins to back away* Calm down people! Scribble will be here shortly.I hope.try to keep your tempers.*brain begins functioning* PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! AAAAAAA! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEE! *abandons all dignity and climbs up the curtain in an attempt to get away*
Audience: *begins pulling on curtain to get Weasel down* Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!
Weasel: SCRIBBLE HELP ME!!!!!
*door slamming is heard. Scribble walks out onto stage. Audience stops pulling and applauds madly*
Scribble: Uh...thanks...everybody...but what's going on?
Weasel: Ask them! Ask THEM!
Scribble: *notices Weasel* What are you doing up there?
Weasel: Thank goodness you're here! The audience was going to mob me!
Scribble: Oh, they wouldn't do that!
Weasel: Yes they would!
Scribble: I don't think so. *turns to audience, who have all scurried back to their seats* Would you?
Audience: *little halos appear over each of them* *chants as one* We didn't do anything, Scribble!
Scribble: -.- Weasel...
Weasel: They were mobbing me! I swear! *to audience* Little devils...
Scribble: Get down here so we can start the show.
Weasel: *climbs down* I already started it. Why were you late?
Scribble: O.O Did you really start the show?
Weasel: *nods*
Scribble: *stares blankly, than seizes Weasel and hugs her* You're so nice! Starting the show for me...
Weasel: Scribble...
Scribble: *sobbing* T_T You're the best friend anyone could ever have!
Audience: Awwww...
Weasel: o.O Scribble...can't...breathe...
Scribble: Oh, sorry. *lets go of Weasel and wipes away tears* Thank you, though. It must've been fun keeping the audience entertained...
Weasel: Uh, yeah...entertained...Scribble, are you all right?
Scribble: Never better.
Random Person #7: We want Scribble to start the show!
Scribble: Uh...didn't Weasel---
Audience: Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!
Scribble: Oh, all right. *takes a breath* Hi everybody, welcome to---
Audience: THE CHARCOAL SHOW! *applauds wildly*
Scribble: *mutters to Weasel* I'm surprised they know it so well by only the second episode.
Weasel: *in shock* They took my line...
Scribble: Here we kidnap random Wheel of Time characters and---
Audience: FORCE THEM TO REVEAL---
Weasel: HEY! MY LINE! DIE, AUDIENCE, DIE!
Scribble: Weasel!
Weasel: What?
Scribble: No threatening our viewers!
Weasel: ^_^; Oops. Heh...heh...
Scribble: So much for you being a wonderful friend.
Weasel: *shoots death glare at Scribble*
Scribble: ^_^;;;;;;;...sorry.
Weasel: That's better. Now let's get on with it. The audience is getting bored.
Audience: *bored*
Scribble: For Weasel's benefit, I'll give her her cue again. *whispers to audience* Please don't take it...she's already going to kill me for being late...*resumes normal voice* Anyway, this is the show where we kidnap random Wheel of Time characters---
Weasel: And force them to reveal their most HIDEOUS secrets!
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Weasel: But before we bring out our next guest, I have a question for Scribble!
Scribble: Me? Well, ok.
Weasel: *speaks as calmly as possible* Why. Were. You. *explodes* LATE????
Scribble: Oh, that. I couldn't get my contacts in.
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*
Weasel: Why do you cheep for her? She didn't even compliment you!
Cricket: Neither did you.
Weasel: You can TALK? I thought you could only cheep!
Cricket: Shows what you know.
Weasel: Hey...
Scribble: Am I missing something?
Weasel: *turns back to Scribble and gives her a look*
Scribble: Whaaaaaaaat?
Weasel: You got contacts.
Scribble: Well, yeah, why else would I be appearing LIVE on TV without my glasses?
Audience: *silence for a moment, than bursts into applause. All the boys give catcalls*
Scribble: *blushing modestly* Oh, shut up.
Audience: *shuts up*
Weasel: Hey, how come they listen to you and not---
Scribble: *notices viewers starting to get anxious* You know, this has got to be the longest preamble I've ever done. It's over 5 pages long!
Weasel: O.O We should get started.
Scribble: Thank you for your patience, PATIENT viewers, now please welcome.
Weasel: Our next torturee---I mean, guest---Nynaeve Al'Meara!
*random people drag Nynaeve onstage*
Nynaeve: What? Where am I? What's going on? Who are you?
Scribble: I'm Scribble and she's the Insane One.
Weasel: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
Scribble: ^_^; Weasel.
Weasel: That's not what I THOUGHT you called me...
Scribble: Hey, I could be calling you something involving a color off of red and a certain robotic stuffed animal.
Weasel: O.O AAAAA! NOT THE FURBY!!!!
Nynaeve: You people scare me.
Weasel: ^_^ Thank you! We scared Rand too!
Nynaeve: O.O Rand was here?
Scribble: Well, yeah, didn't he tell you?
Nynaeve: Nooo..
Weasel: Anyway.my question to you is how do you pronounce your first name?
Nynaeve: Nynaeve.
Both: *enlightened* Ahhhhh...
Scribble: Our next question is from Erica Smith. "Can you ask Nynaeve does she ever pull out her braid?"
Weasel: Yeah, what's the story behind this whole braid-pulling thing?
Nynaeve: Um...no, I have never pulled out my braid and there is no story. I just do. *pulls on braid*
Scribble: Don't do that.
Weasel: Your next question is from Jade Sedai. She asks, "Aren't you ever afraid that you'll pull your braid out of your head? Why DO you pull on your braid in the first place?---"
Nynaeve: Slow down! No, I am never afraid I will pull my braid out because I don't pull it that hard. And I already SAID that I pull on my braid because I just do. *pulls braid*
Scribble: I TOLD you not to do that!
Nynaeve: Is there some sort of repetiveness for this show? You've asked me the same questions twice...*pulls braid*
Scribble: You do that one more time and I will slap you.
Weasel: Scribble...
Nynaeve: You can't slap me! I can channel...
Weasel: Scribble!
Scribble: Yeah, when you're angry.
Weasel: SCRIBBLE.
Nynaeve: -.- I hate you.
Weasel: SCRIBBLE!
Scribble: What?
Weasel: Jade Sedai left us a note!
Scribble: No way! Let me see!
Both: *huddle around note*
Nynaeve: *tries to sneak away*
Scribble: Nice try, Nynaeve, but you can't leave until we say you can.
Nynaeve: Well why not?
Weasel: Because we have magical host powers!
Scribble: Everything on this show we control. Even you.
Nynaeve: *pulls braid*
Scribble: *slap*
Nynaeve: Hey!
Scribble: I warned you.
Weasel: *stares at Scribble* Scribble, are you SURE you're feeling all right?
Scribble: I told you, never better. Why?
Nynaeve: So there IS some sort of repetitiveness on this show!
Weasel: No. It's randomness. And Scribble, you're acting all weird. Normally I'm the one who'd be slapping Nynaeve...*brain kicks in* Hey! I wanna slap her!
Nynaeve: That's not fair...
Scribble: You're right. It's life.
Weasel: Can I slap her?
Nynaeve: NOO!!!
Scribble: If she pulls her braid again. *to Nynaeve* And she slaps hard. Rodney was out for a week last time she slapped him.
Nynaeve: o.O;;;*makes small noise*
Weasel: *grins*Anyway. Channeling Wisdom asks: "I have a question for Nynaeve! Can I borrow Lan's ring to play frisbee? And can she go ask Robert Flaming Jordan if he can kill Myrelle for me? And if he won't, can Nynaeve?"
Nynaeve: NO. MY RING. IT'S MINE---
Scribble: ---my own---
Weasel: *insane look*---my Precioussssssss.
Nynaeve: *looks revolted*
Hosts: *laugh insanely*
Nynaeve: Ohhhhh. Um, I don't know anybody named Robert Flaming Jordan, but I'd be more than happy to kill Myrelle for you!
Weasel: Moving on. Next question is from Fireblade! "hehe. Funny. Uh, Nynaeve, do you happen to know that my muse Scheherezade sorta looks like you? And she has the same temper? Only worse? Oh, and do you know what monksbane and wolfshood are?"
Nynaeve: I did not know you had a muse. And how can her temper be the same but worse? And yes I do know what monksbane and wolfshood are but I'm not going to tell you. Go figure out yourself. *hand moves up to braid*
Weasel: *starts smiling evilly*
Nynaeve: *hand drops*
Weasel: *smile falters*
Scribble: Next question. This is from Your Best Friend Moghedien. "AHHH!! GIMME AN A'DAM THINGIE!!! KILL!! ENSLAVE!!! EVIL-PERSON-I-AM-LILLEN-MOIRAL- NO-NOT-THE-TRUE-NAME-I-AM-GOING-MAD-NO-I-AM-CHANNELING-----AHHHHHHH! THE CURSE OF THE CAPS LOCK KILL I CAN CHANNEL THE TRUE POWER I AM MOGHEDIEN NOT LILLEN MOIRAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---"
Weasel: Scribble? Scribble! Breathe!
Scribble: o.O *passes out from lack of air*
Audience: NOOOOOOO!!!!
Weasel: O.O Um...I'll just finish the question. "oh yeah Nynaeve, you can't handle the Choedan Kal, you suck. haha. From Cyndane: Tell Rand I'll sic you on him if you DO something else with your 5 girlfriends."
Nynaeve: ^_^;; I'll be sure to tell him. Wait a second, FIVE?
Weasel: Yeah. There's Elayne, and Aviendha, Min, Alanna...wait, FIVE?
Nynaeve: That's what I thought! How did you get five?
Scribble: *pretends to be unconscious, is really listening* *thinks* Darn...the number really is five...I hope Cyndane doesn't know...
Weasel: You're not allowed to ask the questions. That's for the hosts.
Nynaeve: I'll just tell him.
Scribble: *sits up* If we let you go, will you forget that?
Nynaeve: Yes! Yes! Let me go!
Weasel: Not so fast. Scribble, why---
Cell phone: *ring*
Weasel: O.O I know that song! *begins to sing* I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves---
Scribble: Shut up.
Weasel: *sings at the top of her lungs* I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES...
Scribble: *whacks her with Cellphone of Unconsciousness*
Cellphone: *beep*
Scribble: Um...hey Nynaeve, you can go, I have to return this call.
Nynaeve: THANK YOU!
Weasel: Not so fast! I didn't get to slap you!
Nynaeve: NOOO!
Scribble: Can you guys pipe down? *to cell phone* Hello? No, this is the UFO. Of course it's me you idiot!
Weasel: While she's on the phone, you will get SLAPPED.
Nynaeve: You have no reason to slap me. I did not pull my braid.
Weasel: I bet you will.
Nynaeve: I bet I won't.
Weasel: Fine. But whatever you do, try NOT to think about pulling your braid.
Nynaeve: I won't.
Scribble: Can you guys just be quiet for a sec? *to phone* Look, this is NOT a good time. I'm on the show right now!...look, I'm sorry if it's important, but I'll have to call you back...WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO CAN DO? I CAN DO IT FOR YOU!
Weasel: Who is it? Can do what? Tell me!
Scribble: No way. *to phone* I don't care if you can transport me to another place, I KNOW you wouldn't do that...look, I really have to go.
Weasel: Who are you talking to? Tell me! Telllllll!
Scribble: *to phone* I'll give you a chance to hang up or the whole thing's off. Yes, I WOULD do that. You have 5 seconds. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
Cell phone: *click*
Scribble: Thank you. *to Weasel* What was the question?
Weasel: Who were you talking to?
Scribble: My...boyfriend.
Weasel: o.O You have a boyfriend?
Boys in Audience: *cry* T.T
Scribble: Well, not exactly. He's walking on thin ice with me. I'm about ready to dump him.
Boys: *cheer up*
Weasel: So who's your boyfriend?
Scribble: I'm not ABOUT to tell you.
Weasel: Pleeeeeeeease?
Scribble: No.
Weasel: I'll slap Nynaeve if you don't.
Nynaeve: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. TELL TELL TELL TELL.
Scribble: As much as it pains me to see you hurting a guest, I'll still say...
Nynaeve: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Scribble: How'd you know?
Weasel: YES! GET OVER HERE, NYNAEVE! *raises hand*
Nynaeve: NOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! *begins running around insanely*
Weasel: *chases*
Nynaeve: *runs out door*
Weasel: *follows*
Scribble: Oooooook. Well, I guess that's it for us. See you all next time on---
Audience: THE CHARCOAL SHOW!
Weasel: *from somewhere miles and miles away* HEY! MY LINE!
Hey everybody! Scribble here. While Weasel's off chasing Nynaeve, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you all to EMAIL your questions to us. We've got a new policy now; questions asked in reviews will be ignored and fed to Gertrude the Angry Gopher. Same as flames. If you have an ACTUAL comment, feel free to leave it in a review, but otherwise, kindly email us your question. Our address is still four_the_shire@yahoo.com (you can find it on the bio page), and in your email, please state your penname and your question(s). Reason for this is we don't want to be kicked off fanfiction.net. Thank you.
Next time on The Charcoal Show, we will be featuring Egwene! So send in your questions for her! Also, if you could please request people for after her, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
~Scribble
PS By the way, Weasel, you left Elvenblood at my house...
