Chapter 10 - Bad News
chicksLoveTheCarr: clicks fingers Hey, Barb. I've finally worked out what OR stands for.
hotWheelz: Judas! Benedict Arnold! Traitor! Etc.
chicksLoveTheCarr: Sorry?
hotWheelz: Our last conversation. You told Batman about it. Remember?
chicksLoveTheCarr: But I didn't. Honest.
hotWheelz: Yeah, sure. How did Batman find out about it then?
chicksLoveTheCarr: I don't know, but I didn't tell him. Maybe he hacked into your computer?
hotWheelz: thinking aloud Maybe he installed that hidden camera that Jack found?
chicksLoveTheCarr: Pardon?
hotWheelz: Nothing. I guess I'll have to give you the benefit of the doubt.
chicksLoveTheCarr: Who's Jack?
hotWheelz: We almost went on a date last week.
chicksLoveTheCarr: That reminds me. Rick's been back in touch. Are you still interested in me fixing you up?
hotWheelz: I've already got Dr. Thompkins fixing me up, thanks. Rick'll have to wait.
chicksLoveTheCarr: What happened?
hotWheelz: Nothing important. Just got involved in a Cat fight. I'll be stuck in bed for the next few weeks. Then again, you should see her. She may never move again.
chicksLoveTheCarr: Anyway, as I said before, I've worked out what OR stands for.
hotWheelz: Oedipus Rex?
chicksLoveTheCarr: Good guess.
hotWheelz: Sorry, Snapper, but you're too late. It's all over, give or take.
chicksLoveTheCarr: clicks fingers So, what happened?
hotWheelz: Long story. I'll tell you next time I see you. Suffice to say, it all ended up with Hugo Strange back where he belongs and Batman and yours truly lying dying in the Batcave. Alfred and some guy you won't know called Boston couldn't help, they were all tied up. Fortunately Harold had gone into hiding the moment Hugo arrived at the Batcave, and he came out of hiding, released everyone and saved the day.
chicksLoveTheCarr: Who's Harold?
hotWheelz: The mute diminutive hunchback electronics genius who lives there maintaining Batman's equipment.
chicksLoveTheCarr: That would have been my first guess. So, he's Batman's elf?
hotWheelz: No, that was Death's sister.
chicksLoveTheCarr: Huh?
hotWheelz: Sorry, just this weird near-death vision I had. Also, we found Gold's brain.
chicksLoveTheCarr: I didn't realize he'd lost it.
hotWheelz: Yeah, Hugo stole it. We found out that he disposed of it for a tidy profit on eBay, and finally managed to track down the buyer.
chicksLoveTheCarr: So, how's Batman.
hotWheelz: Dr. Thompkins told him it would take a month for him to be battle-worthy again. After three days of recuperation he was back on patrol. Maybe Hugo was right about Batman's death wish.
chicksLoveTheCarr: Sorry, I've got to ask. What happened Oedipus-wise?
hotWheelz: Oh, that. This is where the story, which started as a mystery and veered towards tragedy, suddenly plunges into soap-opera. Hugo sent Batman and his mother to Rann to make the beast with the two bats so to speak, but Batman and Nightwing pulled the old switcheroo. Anyway, following all the near-death fun and frolics, Kid Eternity started sending the outstanding corpses back to Heaven. First, he sent Boston Brand and then, after Nightwing had turned up with her, it was the mystery woman's turn. Kid Eternity said he couldn't send her back, not while she had a life inside her. It appears that her visit to Rann's left her pregnant, and now Batman and Nightwing aren't talking anymore. It'll get really good if Nightwing decides to marry her. Suddenly he's Batman's father and he's his own grandpa.
chicksLoveTheCarr: So, is that everything sorted out?
hotWheelz: Well, STAR Labs still keep promising that the mystery woman's mask will be removed any day now. J'onn's going to be popping over and trying to undo the mind tricks that Hugo did on her. There's an Adamantium Catwoman mandroid that we need to de-activate fully. Unfortunately we can't get to it's "brain" using tools of any kind (they just break on the Adamantium), so The Atom's shrunk down to get in there and is currently bouncing around Catwoman's brain trying to sort things out. There's also other various surviving mandroid replicas of Batman's foes at a loose end now that Hugo's left them for lower places. Alfred says that they're quite a nice bunch when you get to know them - I guess if Hugo had given them the real villains' personalities he'd never have been able to control them. Batman says he's thinking of using them in a Danger Room, whatever one of those is. And then there's the question of who the mystery woman actually is, since it turns out that she's not Martha Wayne. I need someone to go back in time and do some detective work.
chicksLoveTheCarr: It's a shame Tyler's not around anymore.
hotWheelz: That's OK. I'm phoning Rip Hunter (he owes me a favor) even as I type.
chicksLoveTheCarr: So what's he going to do?
hotWheelz: He'll follow her after she gives birth to Bruce and find out who she is and what happens to her. He's just left the phone to go and do it. Now he's back - he's just followed her for ten years, on and off, don't you just love time travel? So, he's told me her name, doesn't ring any bells, and she left Gotham, still a teenager, and she married a man and had a son and the man's nam
I stop typing mid-sentence. Everything makes sense now: the rope burns, Boston's comment, as The Joker, that he and Myst had a lot in common, why Hugo needed to keep her face covered and her mouth shut. The secrecy wasn't for Bruce's benefit.
I don't want to tell Batman, but he was the one who told me not to keep secrets from him. Seconds later I'm talking to him on a secure communications channel:
"Bruce, I've got news. About your mother."
"Go ahead, Barbara."
"Well, it's like this. After you were born, your mother left you to be brought up by Thomas and Martha, and she …"
"Spit it out, Barbara."
"She ran away to join the circus."
THE END
