Chapter 27 - Ebony
I had been dozing fitfully propped up on pillows for several hours while Sammy and Mouse watched me, I knew they were watching me, they thought I might try it again, it was frustrating for me because I knew I wasn't going to try it again, I just wanted some peace. Staying alive and sane had become my best form of resistance against Zoot, I would show him he could not destroy me, Allyn had helped show me what he had been doing to me and I wouldn't let him win, I wasn't down for the count yet. I had dozed a lot in the day I had been awake, Patch had said I needed rest, something about red blood cells, science never was my thing. As I dozed I didn't hear someone send Sammy and Mouse away and then come and sit quietly by me.
When I stirred and blinked blearily I saw an out of focus figure sat by my bedside. I opened my eyes wider bringing them into focus. Deep dark brown eyes stared back at me caringly and without looking further I knew exactly who this person was by his gorgeous eyes.
As soon as I realized who it was I began to try to sort myself out, pulling at clothing, sweeping my hair back then trying to sit up properly. Seeing me struggle with my pillows as I tried to sit up, like a perfect gentleman, Jay got up and leant over me helping me sort out my pillows, but all I could think of was the proximity of his body to mine, sometimes pressing on me as he fussed with the pillows.
When he saw I was comfortable he moved back but as he moved back his face passed inches in front of mine and for a few seconds we stayed suspended like that both realizing exactly how close we were, our eyes locked and our mouths so close I could feel his warm soft breath tickle across my lips. I held my breath, emotions charging through me for that eternal second, he broke away almost as soon as we caught each other's eyes but it seemed much longer than that.
He went to sit in his chair, but now the air was electrically charged with feelings. After a few seconds unbearable silence he spoke, needing to disperse the tension in the room.
"So how are you doing?" he asked nervously
"Fine, couldn't be better" I spat out sarcastically, I wanted to be nice, but honestly! I was lying in bed after having my wrists slit, there could not be a more stupid question than 'How are you doing?' and from the sheepish look on his face after my retort I guess he realized that.
"Everyone's been worried about you," he said trying to calm me and make conversation
"Really" I said sarcastically, most of the Mallrats wouldn't care if I disappeared off the face of the earth, in fact they were liable to throw a party and I knew it.
"I-we didn't realize things were so bad" he told me looking at me sadly
I turned my head away not wanting to talk about it. I felt the mattress dip as he moved to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.
"We want to help you," he told me quietly
Without turning to look at him I said in disbelief "We", the Mallrats couldn't care less about me.
"I want to help you," he told me tenderly. Intrigued by those words I turned and came face to face with him, I hadn't realized he was so close, not that I was complaining.
"Really?" I whispered, my voice almost in audibly quiet, my breath stolen by his eyes that had locked with mine.
"Really" he whispered back, our faces inching together until we were millimeters apart. Slowly he moved his lips closer to mine inclining his head slightly and then our lips touched. He kissed me softly and gently and I responded with the same tenderness, gradually more of our mouths becoming involved in the kiss as it went on seemingly forever but still retaining its first tenderness and gentleness.
Gently Jay broke away to breathe and as I refilled my lungs I realized how close we had become during the kiss and how at some point our hands had become entwined. Jay pulled one of his hands away and reached into his pocket to pull out an object, which he handed to me. I moved way from him slightly to examine the delicate chain.
"Yours?" he asked
I nodded and then asked him where he had found it as I slipped it onto my wrist.
"Just outside my room" he told me. I suddenly realized where I must have lost it, there was only one time recently I had been outside Jay's room,
"Thank you" I told him
"Will you let me help you now?" he asked edging forwards so we were close again, damn we were back on that again; I pulled away from him sinking back onto my pillows and turning away from him
"I didn't do it," I told him my voice dispassionate
"Well who did then?" he snapped. It was ironic in a way that he didn't know how close to the truth he was, how much I wanted to tell him exactly who had done it.
"Ebony..." he said reaching out to stroke my shoulder in an attempt to pacify me but I jerked away sullenly, I didn't want to but Zoot was always there driving a wedge between us.
"Please talk to someone" he begged beginning to get upset "Please Ebony, I- I love you, please just talk to someone" he begged getting up off the bed. A single tear fell out of my eye as I sat there trying to let him and his pleas and his words that I had waited to hear for so long wash over me but I couldn't take it any longer and I turned declaring
"I love you" but he had gone, the room was empty I was alone again and only the empty room heard my desperate plea.
I had been dozing fitfully propped up on pillows for several hours while Sammy and Mouse watched me, I knew they were watching me, they thought I might try it again, it was frustrating for me because I knew I wasn't going to try it again, I just wanted some peace. Staying alive and sane had become my best form of resistance against Zoot, I would show him he could not destroy me, Allyn had helped show me what he had been doing to me and I wouldn't let him win, I wasn't down for the count yet. I had dozed a lot in the day I had been awake, Patch had said I needed rest, something about red blood cells, science never was my thing. As I dozed I didn't hear someone send Sammy and Mouse away and then come and sit quietly by me.
When I stirred and blinked blearily I saw an out of focus figure sat by my bedside. I opened my eyes wider bringing them into focus. Deep dark brown eyes stared back at me caringly and without looking further I knew exactly who this person was by his gorgeous eyes.
As soon as I realized who it was I began to try to sort myself out, pulling at clothing, sweeping my hair back then trying to sit up properly. Seeing me struggle with my pillows as I tried to sit up, like a perfect gentleman, Jay got up and leant over me helping me sort out my pillows, but all I could think of was the proximity of his body to mine, sometimes pressing on me as he fussed with the pillows.
When he saw I was comfortable he moved back but as he moved back his face passed inches in front of mine and for a few seconds we stayed suspended like that both realizing exactly how close we were, our eyes locked and our mouths so close I could feel his warm soft breath tickle across my lips. I held my breath, emotions charging through me for that eternal second, he broke away almost as soon as we caught each other's eyes but it seemed much longer than that.
He went to sit in his chair, but now the air was electrically charged with feelings. After a few seconds unbearable silence he spoke, needing to disperse the tension in the room.
"So how are you doing?" he asked nervously
"Fine, couldn't be better" I spat out sarcastically, I wanted to be nice, but honestly! I was lying in bed after having my wrists slit, there could not be a more stupid question than 'How are you doing?' and from the sheepish look on his face after my retort I guess he realized that.
"Everyone's been worried about you," he said trying to calm me and make conversation
"Really" I said sarcastically, most of the Mallrats wouldn't care if I disappeared off the face of the earth, in fact they were liable to throw a party and I knew it.
"I-we didn't realize things were so bad" he told me looking at me sadly
I turned my head away not wanting to talk about it. I felt the mattress dip as he moved to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.
"We want to help you," he told me quietly
Without turning to look at him I said in disbelief "We", the Mallrats couldn't care less about me.
"I want to help you," he told me tenderly. Intrigued by those words I turned and came face to face with him, I hadn't realized he was so close, not that I was complaining.
"Really?" I whispered, my voice almost in audibly quiet, my breath stolen by his eyes that had locked with mine.
"Really" he whispered back, our faces inching together until we were millimeters apart. Slowly he moved his lips closer to mine inclining his head slightly and then our lips touched. He kissed me softly and gently and I responded with the same tenderness, gradually more of our mouths becoming involved in the kiss as it went on seemingly forever but still retaining its first tenderness and gentleness.
Gently Jay broke away to breathe and as I refilled my lungs I realized how close we had become during the kiss and how at some point our hands had become entwined. Jay pulled one of his hands away and reached into his pocket to pull out an object, which he handed to me. I moved way from him slightly to examine the delicate chain.
"Yours?" he asked
I nodded and then asked him where he had found it as I slipped it onto my wrist.
"Just outside my room" he told me. I suddenly realized where I must have lost it, there was only one time recently I had been outside Jay's room,
"Thank you" I told him
"Will you let me help you now?" he asked edging forwards so we were close again, damn we were back on that again; I pulled away from him sinking back onto my pillows and turning away from him
"I didn't do it," I told him my voice dispassionate
"Well who did then?" he snapped. It was ironic in a way that he didn't know how close to the truth he was, how much I wanted to tell him exactly who had done it.
"Ebony..." he said reaching out to stroke my shoulder in an attempt to pacify me but I jerked away sullenly, I didn't want to but Zoot was always there driving a wedge between us.
"Please talk to someone" he begged beginning to get upset "Please Ebony, I- I love you, please just talk to someone" he begged getting up off the bed. A single tear fell out of my eye as I sat there trying to let him and his pleas and his words that I had waited to hear for so long wash over me but I couldn't take it any longer and I turned declaring
"I love you" but he had gone, the room was empty I was alone again and only the empty room heard my desperate plea.
