Author's notes: Yes another chapter!... geez I'm really getting bad with updating heh… I seriously meant to update before now… but it was my bday dec 18! And xmass! And everything gets crazy around this time of year eh?! So that's my excuse lol. Anyways I hope everyone enjoys and as always thanks a ton for the reviews! I love all you guys ^ ^!
&
through this place of
love move
(with brightness
of peace)
all places
yes is a
world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds
~Unknown~
"Running away never fixed anything." Her voice trembled, her eyes tracing a raindrop streaking down the window glass.
"Sakura… it's not running away…. Sometimes… our bodies… just can't handle these things… and the doctors don't know if yours can…" Syaoran answered wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Syaoran… I can't give up… not now." Sakura whispered burying her head in his chest. He had already known what Sakura would do, the loss of their other child still sharp and painful.
"If you're sure…"
"I am… Syaoran.. I know this is going to be hard, but this baby deserves a chance at life and I will give it the best one possible." Sakura stated firmly. Syaoran nodded slightly tightening his hold. They both knew their next road wouldn't be easy, but then again life for the two hadn't been easy as it was. "Can I go home for now Syaoran?" Sakura asked tiredly, she was sick of hospitals she just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed with Syaoran.
"Let me go talk to the doctors and let them know our decision." Syaoran replied heading for the door. He walked through the door closing it softly as Sakura drifted off to sleep. He knew it would come to this the moment this new event had been announced. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, sure he wanted a child, but at the expense of his love? What he thought didn't matter though; he knew if Sakura gave up this baby she would never forgive herself, it would slowly kill her inside just as easily as the cancer could. He sighed deeply rubbing at his tired eyes, he didn't want to lose Sakura, but he certainly also didn't want her to be haunted the rest of her life, which would definitely happen.
"You ok?" Tomoyo asked concerned dripping from her voice as Syaoran walked to the waiting area.
"Just tired." He replied seating himself down for a few minutes to process the night's events. She could tell he was extremely tired and wouldn't be surprised if he fell right over.
"I take it she is going to keep the baby?" Tomoyo asked already knowing the answer. She knew Sakura better then a sister and this was the only option for Sakura, she was too selfless for her own good. Syaoran nodded slightly only confirming Tomoyo's thoughts.
"I honestly don't know if she can handle this, pregnancy is hard enough when you're healthy." Syaoran stated. He had heard stories of his sisters being borne and knew none of them had been especially easy.
"But its Sakura for you… if anyone can do it… its her." Tomoyo answered positively but inside fearing the worse.
"Why don't you go in there and see her… you haven't been able to in a while." Syaoran stated thoughtfully knowing this was just as hard for Tomoyo.
"Alright… as long as your going to be ok?" Tomoyo questioned warning evident in her tone.
"Yea I'll be fine go on and see her, I know she will be happy to see you." He replied pushing the younger girl slightly towards the room. Tomoyo nodded not sure she believed him but wanting to see Sakura despite herself. She walked to the room slowly opening the door. Her eyes scanned her best friend's body; it was paler and defiantly underweight for a pregnant woman. Sakura's eyes were closed and her breathing a bit heavy. Tomoyo softly crept over to the chair placed at the side of Sakura's bed obviously previously been occupied by Syaoran. She ran her fingers into Sakura's honey brown hair twisting the locks gently between her fingers. Sakura opened her eyes slightly smiling deeply when she caught sight of her best friend.
"How are you feeling?" Tomoyo asked softly smiling back.
"Alright considering." Sakura answered pulling herself into a seating position despite Tomoyo's protests.
"God Sakura a baby… congratulations. I know how bad you've always wanted one." Tomoyo whispered meaning every word.
"I know the circumstances might not make this a joyous occasion… but I know I can do this… and you know I have to do this right? I mean your ok with this? You and Syaoran?" Sakura stumbled suddenly feeling self conscious. She knew this was especially hard but she couldn't just turn her head.
"Of course Sakura… you know we both support you in whatever you decide." Tomoyo replied squeezing her hand in reassurance.
"I know this is dangerous… but if I give up this baby… and I die anyways… what good would any of it have done… there are no guarantees you know… At least this way we both have a shot." Sakura explained trying to justify her own thought process.
"I understand completely Sakura… and if I were in the same position… I think I'd do the same, and Syaoran understands all this as well. Why do you think we agreed in the first place? And you know you can always count on both of us to support you." Tomoyo reassured.
"Thank you." Sakura said the two hugging. A comfortable silence fell upon them as they each studied the other. Sakura noticed dark circles under Tomoyo's eyes and many other signs of fatigue. Guilt immediately went through Sakura as she wondered if like Syaoran; Tomoyo had stayed the whole time and forgotten to sleep. She wondered why Chris wasn't able to persuade her to take a rest, she always seemed to listen to him, and surely he wouldn't have let her go this long without a proper amount of rest. Sakura thought for a few minutes coming to the realization that she hadn't even seen Chris in a while, she wondered if the American had been working this whole time.
"Where is Chris anyways?" Sakura voiced her thoughts.
"Like I would know." Tomoyo snorted without thinking, she quickly realized her mistake when Sakura gave her a look. "I mean he's most likely working." Tomoyo answered again trying to cover her mistake.
"Don't think your getting out of this one! Just because I'm in the hospital doesn't mean you don't tell me your problems anymore." Sakura demanded firmly.
"It's nothing really." Tomoyo shrugged softly suddenly finding the floor extremely interesting.
"Oh really? Come on Tomoyo?" Sakura urged now truly knowing something bad must of happen. What a time for it to.
"I just… I found out what he did to you… how he lied to you… to both of us… and and I broke it off." Tomoyo explained pushing back her tears. Since this whole ordeal had started she hadn't really been given a chance to deal with this, not that she was sure she was ready to deal. "You know it's just a shock… I thought this time maybe it would be forever you know… but all this time… he's just been been lying." Tomoyo stated a tear escaping her eye. She quickly wiped it away not wanting to break down at a time like this. "God here I am crying when you have serious problems, I'm such a baby." Tomoyo sighed rubbing at her eyes even more only succeeding in reddening them.
"You're not a baby." Sakura replied gently pushing her hands away from her face. "And its ok to cry… god knows I've done my share of that… Its hard to lose someone you love..." Sakura comforted letting Tomoyo lie her head down on her chest. Tomoyo let the frustration that had been bottled up out, she never knew how Sakura did it, but she was the only one he could get her to open up like this.
Sakura let Tomoyo cry until she had no more tears left, she gently rubbed her back in a soothing manor.
"Tomoyo… we all make mistakes." Sakura stated when her sobbing had finally quieted a bit. Tomoyo looked up a bit shocked at what she was hearing.
"Sakura he ruined your life!" Tomoyo started but was stopped before she could go on.
"Chris is a good guy. He must have had a reason Tomoyo… did you even give him a chance?" Sakura questioned knowing her friend most likely hadn't given Chris a chance to explain, she cared too much about her friends. Tomoyo's lack of answer only conformed Sakura's thoughts.
"Listen Tomoyo he made a mistake… and if I know Chris he's probably beating himself up over it as well. We all make mistakes and I know he must have had a reason, so for that I can't blame him." Sakura explained trying to reason with Tomoyo.
"God Sakura your amazing… how how can you be so selfless?" Tomoyo wondered truly amazed, she had been furious when she had discovered what he had done, yet Sakura hadn't even been angered.
"Well I admit that I certainly am not happy it happened, but the past is the past right? And Tomoyo if you think he's the one… then isn't it worth it to at least try. I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about, god losing Syaoran was so hard you know? So… if you think that despite this occurrence you guys could have truly been happy then will you at least try… for me." Sakura pleaded she wanted her best friend to be happy desperately. If she didn't make it out of this she knew Tomoyo would need someone to lean on, and Chris would make sure she got through the ordeal one way or another.
"It's hard Sakura… but… I'll at least talk to him." Tomoyo answered, Sakura nodded knowing that that was the best she would get for now, she could only hope the two would be able to patch this up, but if they were truly meant to be she believe they would be ok.
Syaoran yawned tiredly, he really was exhausted, and he couldn't wait to go curl up in bed with Sakura. His vision blurred a bit and he rubbed his eyes trying to get them to focus.
"God it's been a long day." He muttered.
"Xiao Lang!" Syaoran glanced up as his named was shouted. He blinked several times believing his eyes were playing tricks on him. There in front of him stood his sister, that couldn't be though she was still in China, she couldn't be here.
"Dam I'm delusional now." Syaoran muttered again.
"Your not, god Xiao Lang I've missed you!" Leena exclaimed hugging her brother tightly. As the warmth of her hug trailed up his body he quickly realized that she indeed wasn't an illusion.
"Leena! What what are you doing here?!" Syaoran exclaimed worriedly, it wasn't that he didn't want to see his sister, but with her presence meant something was terribly wrong. When he had first left they had been very precise on not making contact so that it couldn't be used against them, despite how much he wanted to talk to his sister, he had held strong knowing what would happen if he didn't. But if his sister was breaking her own enforced rule then something was definitely wrong. "What's going on Leena?" He urged feeling his sister grip tighten around him; she looked up into his eyes tears trailing down her cheeks.
"Oh Xiao Lang I've tried to talk sense into her! I've tried so hard, but she just won't listen! She won't reason! She's intent on having you come home! And and I can't keep her away." Leena answered out in a jumble trying to convey her emotions to him.
"It's ok." Syaoran soothed rubbing his temples; he certainly didn't need this on his plate as well. He wasn't sure if he could handle his mother at a time like this, the stress was starting to really pile up.
"Xiao Lang, its time to stop this nonsense, and come home." Syaoran looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway in all her glory, her presence demanding his attention right away. Syaoran knew his mother could scare men twice his age with just a look, but he refused to take that bait.
"Mother." Syaoran stated simple realizing that the next battle would decide the fate of his life.
~~Siberian~~
