Author's notes: Well it's been a while yet again. Heh schools been crazy… and after a looong stressful week of mcas *which is stupid testing that I have to pass in order to graduate grrrr* I decided to unwind by writing, plus I had some extra time considering I skipped hell today ^ ^ hehe… anyways hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks to all the viewers!
"A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words."
Rachel Naomi Remen
"Mother… what are you doing here?" Syaoran questioned resignedly. It had been and extremely long week of events and he certainly didn't want to deal with this right now.
"It's time to stop this nonsense. It's time to take your rightful place at the head of the Li family in China Xiao Lang. It's time to stop playing these silly games." Li-san stated firmly her eyes flaring with the same intensity that was often mirrored in her son's own eyes.
"Nonsense? Games?" Syaoran clinched his fist in attempt to cool his temper; this was no place to start a big fight. "This is my life for god sakes!" He exclaimed in anger, the people around them glanced their way at the outburst.
"This isn't your life! You don't belong among these common people. Xiao Lang this was never your destiny. Your fate is to lead the Li-Clan into greatness!" Li-san yelled back with just as much passion.
"Doesn't it even matter what I want?" Syaoran questioned lowering his voice a bit. He really didn't want to be arguing about this, of all places in a hospital, but he knew that neither of them would back down, so it couldn't be helped.
"This is what you want hunny. You just don't know it yet, but you'll see."
"No mother… it was never what I wanted! It was always what you wanted, and when I was a child I played along with it. I went off on the elder's journey to reclaim the Clow Cards. I shunned away the true Clow Mistress even when my heart told me not to, because that's what the clan wanted. Hell I even came back for a time, and then you erased my memory taking me away from the only person I want to spend my life with! You've hurt her in ways you can't even comprehend. I've lost so much time with her because of the clan's petty games! Now she's pregnant and might be dying and you pull this on me!! This is it mother! I won't take it anymore; I no longer want to be the next head! I renounce my position! I don't even want to be a part of the clan anymore!" Syaoran shouted the irritation hammering out of him. He clenched his jaw trying to calm down and restrain from a further outburst.
"Xiao Lang… you you don't know what you're saying... this is your destiny you can't throw it away just like that." Li-san replied shocked at her son's renouncement she couldn't believe he would just give up on their family.
"Mother… you haven't even heard a word I've said have you." Syaoran answered sadly, he closed his eyes sighing as his muscles became less tense.
"Of course I have… and I don't understand." Li-san replied confusion over taking her.
"Yes you heard the part about me renouncing my position which you know is very well possible… so don't even tell me I can't do it. The fact that you didn't hear that the woman I love is pregnant and in jeopardy… or is it you don't care?"
"Syaoran…"
"Goodbye mother." Syaoran walked briskly past his mother towards the door. He walked outside into the pouring rain without even a glance behind towards the family he was leaving behind. Li-san was shocked her limbs wouldn't obey her commands. She couldn't bring herself to move at all as her only son walked out the door, and she had a feeling it was for good this time.
******
Tomoyo sighed to herself running apprehensive fingers threw her long hair. She desperately wanted to talk to Chris, but she was uncertain if they could rekindle what they once had. Their relationship meant a lot to her, but her relationship with Sakura meant just as much. The fact was though Sakura wasn't blaming Chris, even though it was eighty percent his fault that this all happened as far as she was concerned. But if Sakura wasn't holding a grudge then was there really reason for Tomoyo herself to hold one. After all it wasn't her that he had hurt, and he hadn't known they were friends at the time. Despite their short time apart she missed him terrible, just a few days had felt likes years, but how could she trust him again.
Tomoyo was ripped from her thoughts as one of the hospital doors flung open knocking her to the side. She tripped and banged her head against the white sterile walls.
"Oh geez I'm so sorry… Tomoyo…" Chris exclaimed in surprise. He hadn't seen anyone on the other side of the door. "Are you ok?" He questioned taking a chance to run his finger lightly over the small bump that was forming on her temple.
"Yea… it wasn't your fault… I shouldn't have been standing there." Tomoyo answered letting herself enjoy the caress for a few minutes before she pulled back.
"Still… I'm sorry." Chris answered as she pulled away.
"I know…" A few minutes went by of uncomfortable silence, neither knowing what to say to the other.
"Well I guess… I'll see you around." Chris stated moving past Tomoyo hurriedly, to continue with his work.
"Chris wait!" Tomoyo exclaimed grabbing onto his wrist. "We we… need to talk." She whispered knowing that this, her love, was definitely worth any risks. "Can you take a break?" She inquired hoping he'd be willing to speak with her.
"Yea sure… we can umm go into the break room… there's usually no one in there." Chris replied leading Tomoyo to the room he had gestured to. Another awkward silence fell upon them as neither could start. Chris scuffed his foot a bit against the floor in nervousness. "So you wanted to talk." He finally began knowing she wasn't likely to start.
"Yes.. Chris… I want you to know that what you did was inexcusable… you just don't know how much you hurt Sakura and Syaoran." Tomoyo started needing to get this out.
"I know I know… it kills me inside that I messed up so awfully, that I hurt two people that I care about this badly. I… I never wanted that to happen, but my career was at risk… and I just wasn't thinking correctly, I should have never never… Oh Tomoyo I've missed you so much, and I know I don't deserve you not by a long shot… but…" Chris interrupted trying to make sense of the emotions running rapid inside him. He never meant to hurt anyone and it was eating him up that he had.
"Shhh…" Tomoyo whispered placing a finger on his lips to silence him. "Despite… everything… Sakura's sick… and she might not make it… and it's made me realize life is too short to let anger rule it… Chris I want to work through this… I love you to much to let this go." Tomoyo replied softly letting her hands stroke her lover's cheek.
"I love you." Chris answered kissing her softly. She closed her eyes opening her mouth to let his tongue slide into her warmth.
"I love you two… we will make it through this." The two joined hands making time for them both to heal.
******
"Is this what you wanted?! huh? Is it!!!" Leena exclaimed anger overcoming her. "He he doesn't even want to be a part of the family anymore! And who can blame him after all the manipulation he's been through!"
"This isn't what I wanted and you know that" Li-san snapped back finally regaining her senses. She was still bewildered though how she just lost her son.
"How does it feel mother… to drive away your only son?" Leena hissed, she was angry that Syaoran had been hurt as much as he had. She knew their mother couldn't see it, but his eyes had shined with a dreadful distress and what looked like defeat. Li-san was unable to reply, she knew she had blown it, and there was really nothing left for her here. Her son would no doubt never come back to China; she finally saw how serious he was.
"I'm going home." She stated firmly heading for the door that Syaoran had fled from before. Leena followed her a few minutes after she had left the building. She stepped outside rain instantly soaking her silky skin. She brushed her hair back as it clung to her face. Leena could see Li-san's form walking vigorously to their transportation; she was about to join her when she caught a glimpse of another form to her right. She immediately recognized it as her brother.
"Xiao Lang… are you ok?" She questioned hesitantly. She was unable to see his face as he was stared at the ground in lost contemplation. He didn't reply which made her realize he hadn't even heard her. Leena knew he was so deep in his thoughts that the surrounding world was just a blur to him. She walked closer to him gently putting a hand on his shoulder. "Xiao Lang?"
"Leena." He choked finally lifting his gaze from the ground; his eyes were lined with tear tracks mixed with rain.
"Oh hunny." Leena whispered bringing him into a hug. He sobbed into her chest clutching tightly to her embrace.
"Everything's falling apart… I've never really cared about being the head… it's always just been there…" Syaoran started Leena's shirt slightly muffling his voice. "And I will do anything to be with Sakura… god I don't even know if she's going to survive this pregnancy. How do I fix this?"
"All you can do is give her your love, your support, and your strength. From what I've heard the Clow Mistress is an extremely strong woman, she won't be taken away without a fight. Life is always uncertain especially about the things we really care about, nothing is ever simple. You will get through it though, you just have to believe in both of your strength, because believe me you guys are the strongest people I know." Leena replied running her fingers through his shaggy brown locks comforting.
"I know your right it's just hard…" Syaoran replied wiping away the rest of his tears.
"It always is."
"Are you going back to China with mother?" Syaoran questioned longingly. He didn't really want his sister to leave, but to stay would mean renouncement from the family for her as well. He couldn't ask that of her, she had already done so much for him.
"Of course not… at least not right now… there's nothing there for me… but here I have a sister in-law who is going to need another woman around who's been through this kind of of thing, and sorry Syaoran you just don't have that type of experience." Leena replied comfortingly.
"Are you sure? I mean you might be outcast as well…" Syaoran stated not wanting his sister to come to resent him because of this.
"It doesn't matter… now come on lets get out of this rain." Leena wrapped an arm around his shoulder as the two headed for the door.
Li-san sat in her car watching her only son and daughter walk into the hospital together. She knew now she had not only lost her son, but her daughter as well. A sense of sorrow overwhelmed her as she held back tears. She had always tried to be a good mother, her own upbringing making her harden and strict. She loved her children and despite her actions she just wanted what was best for them.
"Drive." She instructed turning away from the hospital.
"What about..?" The driver started.
"She's not coming back." Li-san stated and the driver nodded confusingly as he started up the car. As they drove away from the hospital, Li-San vowed to never step in or near a hospital ever again. She had not only lost her husband in one, but now two of her children. It was a mournful day for her and she knew that things would never been the same again.
~~Siberian~~
