Chapter 36 - Jay
Watching Ebony that second week was like watching a beautiful butterfly open its wings for the first time. It seemed she had dealt with what had happened as her nightmares and episodes became more infrequent and she relaxed. I began to see a different Ebony, one with no politics or power, no one trying to second guess her, hold grudges against her or stab her in the back. She opened up a care free, playful side of her that I had only glimpsed in passing once or twice before. I'm not saying she became little miss nice and loves animals, God forbid, but I actually heard her laugh a lot, I could count on one hand the number of times I had heard her laugh before.
We spent much of our time talking, finding out about each other or just joking and teasing. Our relationship also moved on but it was not a great step as it had been before, it was just natural progression. Before we had always been rushed, kissing would lead too much more in minutes. But in the hut we were given time to take things slowly and let things progress naturally, so we did.
And as the beginning of the first week dawned it seemed like our relationship was to progress further. It was late in the evening and I was sat in the armchair with Ebony on my knee, leaning against one of the wings with her feet going over the arm of the chair.
"Jay?" she said questioningly after a few minutes peaceful silence.
"Yeh" I replied looking at her
"Do you think ram's still in VR or do you think Zoot killed him?" she asked I was puzzled by her line of questioning but I answered anyway
"I have no idea," I told her leaning forward to kiss her. We paused slightly after the kiss to breathe but not really pulling away from each other and then we came together again, kissing with more passion and lust, I pulled her closer to me as she ran her hands under my jacket and began to push it backwards. I trailed kisses down her neck whilst pushed her coat off and a few seconds later I heard it hit the floor.
We continued that way until we were standing up together, suddenly Ebony froze, I pulled away to ask what was wrong but seeing her eyes staring off into the distance I didn't have to ask.
"No, no... Please" she whispered desperately then after a few seconds began to cry silently. I wiped away her tears as they flowed down her face; suddenly after several minutes' silence she swayed and collapsed into my arms. I pulled her back down onto my knee on the chair I had been sat on.
She began sobbing into my chest but as she did so she gasped out
"Oh God...oh God Jay...he-he" but this was followed with a fresh round of furious sobbing.
"What?" I asked, what had that b@stard done to her?
"He raped me," she sobbed out.
My mind went blank for a minute. He raped her? Oh god, he actually raped her. I didn't know what to say or do. Sensing my hesitation she managed to control her sobbing slightly and looked up at me.
"Do you hate me?" she asked sounding hurt and moving away from me slightly.
"No, no, never" I reassured her shocked that she could think that.
She was silent for a moment staring into space and then she began talking, vaguely, not exactly at me, more to herself but I quickly realized she was telling me what happened.
"The first few times he came, he just talked, scared me. After that he became violent, threatening me, hurting me, kissing me" she shuddered "horrible painful kisses. I couldn't cope, I couldn't get away, I hated myself, I hated him, I went to the beach to forget and I cut myself. It didn't work, he always came back. Then after Java he came and he forced me, raped me" silent tears began falling back down her cheeks following the paths of the earlier ones "then he slit my wrists, not to kill me, just to play with me"
My minded blanked in disbelief, he hadn't even been trying to kill her? he had slit her wrists but not intended to kill her? I could have disbelieved her if I could not see her face that told me the truth, he had done it.
"Then he came and forced me to go with him, he put me in this huge room, all white, floors, doors, ceiling, all white, and he and sometimes Java would come in and threaten me and hurt me"
She huddled sobbing in my arms. I couldn't quite take it in and I knew I was only getting half the story, she had not told me the details, just that he had threatened and hurt her, not exactly what he had done, and I wasn't totally sure I wanted to hear. What torture and pain it would take to weaken Ebohny i didnt even want to think about. Eventually she fell asleep exhausted in my arms, I tucked her into the bed gently and then sat in front of the fire processing what I had just lernt.
Watching Ebony that second week was like watching a beautiful butterfly open its wings for the first time. It seemed she had dealt with what had happened as her nightmares and episodes became more infrequent and she relaxed. I began to see a different Ebony, one with no politics or power, no one trying to second guess her, hold grudges against her or stab her in the back. She opened up a care free, playful side of her that I had only glimpsed in passing once or twice before. I'm not saying she became little miss nice and loves animals, God forbid, but I actually heard her laugh a lot, I could count on one hand the number of times I had heard her laugh before.
We spent much of our time talking, finding out about each other or just joking and teasing. Our relationship also moved on but it was not a great step as it had been before, it was just natural progression. Before we had always been rushed, kissing would lead too much more in minutes. But in the hut we were given time to take things slowly and let things progress naturally, so we did.
And as the beginning of the first week dawned it seemed like our relationship was to progress further. It was late in the evening and I was sat in the armchair with Ebony on my knee, leaning against one of the wings with her feet going over the arm of the chair.
"Jay?" she said questioningly after a few minutes peaceful silence.
"Yeh" I replied looking at her
"Do you think ram's still in VR or do you think Zoot killed him?" she asked I was puzzled by her line of questioning but I answered anyway
"I have no idea," I told her leaning forward to kiss her. We paused slightly after the kiss to breathe but not really pulling away from each other and then we came together again, kissing with more passion and lust, I pulled her closer to me as she ran her hands under my jacket and began to push it backwards. I trailed kisses down her neck whilst pushed her coat off and a few seconds later I heard it hit the floor.
We continued that way until we were standing up together, suddenly Ebony froze, I pulled away to ask what was wrong but seeing her eyes staring off into the distance I didn't have to ask.
"No, no... Please" she whispered desperately then after a few seconds began to cry silently. I wiped away her tears as they flowed down her face; suddenly after several minutes' silence she swayed and collapsed into my arms. I pulled her back down onto my knee on the chair I had been sat on.
She began sobbing into my chest but as she did so she gasped out
"Oh God...oh God Jay...he-he" but this was followed with a fresh round of furious sobbing.
"What?" I asked, what had that b@stard done to her?
"He raped me," she sobbed out.
My mind went blank for a minute. He raped her? Oh god, he actually raped her. I didn't know what to say or do. Sensing my hesitation she managed to control her sobbing slightly and looked up at me.
"Do you hate me?" she asked sounding hurt and moving away from me slightly.
"No, no, never" I reassured her shocked that she could think that.
She was silent for a moment staring into space and then she began talking, vaguely, not exactly at me, more to herself but I quickly realized she was telling me what happened.
"The first few times he came, he just talked, scared me. After that he became violent, threatening me, hurting me, kissing me" she shuddered "horrible painful kisses. I couldn't cope, I couldn't get away, I hated myself, I hated him, I went to the beach to forget and I cut myself. It didn't work, he always came back. Then after Java he came and he forced me, raped me" silent tears began falling back down her cheeks following the paths of the earlier ones "then he slit my wrists, not to kill me, just to play with me"
My minded blanked in disbelief, he hadn't even been trying to kill her? he had slit her wrists but not intended to kill her? I could have disbelieved her if I could not see her face that told me the truth, he had done it.
"Then he came and forced me to go with him, he put me in this huge room, all white, floors, doors, ceiling, all white, and he and sometimes Java would come in and threaten me and hurt me"
She huddled sobbing in my arms. I couldn't quite take it in and I knew I was only getting half the story, she had not told me the details, just that he had threatened and hurt her, not exactly what he had done, and I wasn't totally sure I wanted to hear. What torture and pain it would take to weaken Ebohny i didnt even want to think about. Eventually she fell asleep exhausted in my arms, I tucked her into the bed gently and then sat in front of the fire processing what I had just lernt.
