Gay is As Gay Does
By: jneisha
J_neisha@hotmail.com
A/N: This is still of the Mishima/Kazama family but this is different. This involves Jin and Hwoarang this time. This will be with the master collection of "Letter to My Soldier." Very dirty humor and foul language is in this still. (That's why it's rated R)
Jin Kazama stood checking his mailbox drowsily one sunny afternoon. He took out a handful of letters.
Bill-Con Ed
Overdue Bill-Con Ed
Bill-Gas and Electric
Pink envelop- Sealed with a kiss
The pink envelope surprised him. He threw the rest of the mail back into the box and took the pink envelop back inside.
Once inside he looked at the front side of the envelope to see that there was no return address. He looked at the back of it to see the seal was sealed with two read lip prints. He opened it to see there was a pink letter inside that red:
T- is for the lovely time I had last night.
H- is for the head I gave you.
A-is for the nice ass that you have.
N-is for the many times you nutted in my face.
K-is for the things that I now know about you.
S- is for the sex that could happen more often if you call me.
That spells "thanks" and I meant it for the time that we had last night.
~Hwoarang.
Jin had no idea what the hell this guy "Hwoarang was talking about. He decided to leave the letter alone but got another letter a few weeks later along with a gift:
B-is for the biggest one that I had yet.
L- is for the lame way you keep up with your dates.
O- is for the opposite ways you can attract.
W- is for the way you suck.
J- is for the job that was done.
O-is for the odd way that you handle your business.
B- is for how much bucking you did beneath me.
That spells "Blowjob" and trust me that is certainly what you gave me three weeks ago.
Jin opened the box to find and vibrator and a note attached to it:
I hope that you like this gift; you will need it when I find you.
There was a return address so Jin decided to write back to this maniac:
W- is for the weird things that you are sending me.
E-is for the exiting things that I do with my girlfriend and not you.
I- is for the ignorant way you are approaching me.
R- is for the respect that you need to give me.
D- is for the downtime that I need from this shit.
That spells "weird" and that's is certainly what you are. Stop writing me.
Hwoarang didn't stop there. He wanted Jin to suffer. He sent him one more letter while Jin's girlfriend Ling Xiaoyu is in the house, but she got a hold of the letter while he was in the kitchen cooking for them:
G- is for the great things that you have done.
A- is for the ass that I came into.
Y- is for the yelling that you did.
That spells, "gay" and gay is as gay does.
Ling was not happy at all so she decided to write a letter for Jin:
B- is for the best friend that I thought I had.
I- is for the idiotic ways you lied to me when you said you were "going out"
S- is for the sex that I certainly missed out on because you were giving it to someone else…and a man at that.
E- is for the excellent way you must have pleased him because you didn't do it to me.
X- is for the Xtreme things that you did to him.
U- is for the unusual ways you wanted to satisfy me.
A-is for the big ass that you got from all the banging done to you.
L- is for the love that I didn't get.
That spells "Bi-Sexual" and that's what you are…and I certainly don't want anything to do with you.
