Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything, Tolkien does. This greatly depresses me.
Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.
~*Author's Notes*~ I appreciate everyone who is continuing to read my story. It really means a lot to me. I keep expecting for someone to tell me how much my story sucks, but so far I haven't got any reviews saying that which continues to surprise me. I have been deeply contemplating whether or not to finish this story, and so far I am closer to deciding to stop writing it. I have been having so much writer's block lately so I haven't been able to make the chapters turn out the way I want them to. I am going to write this chapter to see if I can overcome the author's curse, but if I can't, I might take a break from writing for the time being. So I rely on what you guys tell me. Sorry for the babbling by the way, I seem to be doing that a lot lately. On with chapter 23.
How Can I Survive
Chapter 23
Aragorn knocked on the door of the houses of healing. Elrond had been in there with Arwen since the company arrived many hours ago. The young man knew that the lord of Imladris would wish to speak with him, but right now he needed to see the love of his life.
The peredhil opened the door, and it was obvious that he was tired and frustrated at the present moment. "Estel, I am almost finished with her. When I am done I need to talk to you, but right now can you just wait outside?" he asked. "M…milord, um I was hoping that I would be able to help you, for I feel that this whole thing is my fault" Aragorn begged. He needed to make sure that the Evenstar was alright.
"Okay, you can see her for a moment. I have mended all the major wounds, and cleansed the smaller ones. I will let you see her in private, but she has yet to awake" Elrond said as he ushered the man into the room and left closing the door behind him.
Aragorn knelt beside the bed and held her frail hand in his own. She was so pale, more pale than elves already are so it was very frightening for him. He noticed something hanging on her neck, he had seen it before but the knowledge seemed to have escaped his mind. He saw the mithril chain that he had meant to give her when he returned, but couldn't because he was attacked. He wondered how she had received because he had thought that Terral had taken all his belongings.
"Please wake up Arwen, the world can not loose such a precious person. You mean to much to, to too many. It would be such a horrible loss." he said as his head fell to his chest. He had already lost his best friend, he couldn't loose her as well.
"I am so sorry, I let them hurt you, he said he wouldn't if I gave him what he wanted and I did, but he still tried to kill you. I'm so sorry" he murmured. He stood up off the ceramic floor and looked at her scenic face. She looked so peaceful and relaxed. Just the way that Legolas did when he had already passed. This thought really scared Aragorn, she couldn't leave to, it wasn't right.
He caressed her soft cheek and placed a kiss on her lips. "I know I don't deserve you, but there are many who are worthy of your love, so you have to stay alive…for them" he was almost in tears now. He knew Elrond said that she would be okay, but he couldn't believe that until she opened her eyes.
The crying had finally started and he collapsed on to the floor. He sat up against the wall and drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them as he let his head fall on his knees. His breaths were coming in hitched and he was starting to hiccup. Because of this he didn't notice who came up to him.
After days of being unconscious, the Evenstar finally awoke and when she did, it was to heart wrenching sounds. She looked to the side and she saw Estel weeping heavily in the corner of the room.
Even though it pained her to do so, she got out of her bed and walked over to him. She knelt down beside him and placed her slender hand on his forearm. Aragorn's head jolted up at her touch. When he saw her, his eyes widened with amazement and relief. He couldn't even form a sentence to say to her.
He was astonished to see how radiant she looked in her present state. Even though she had been lifeless for many days, she was still as beautiful as the first time he had seen her. Her hair hung loosely and un-styled down her back and she was only wearing a plain white nightshirt and was barefoot. But this didn't take away any of the splendour that belonged to her. Her face was as stunning as ever and her grey eyes shone in contrast to her twilight coloured hair. No matter how many scars, how many bruises, and how many cuts she had she would still be the most exquisite being in all of Middle Earth.
"Estel?" she asked hesitantly, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality. "You should lay back down, it's not good for you to be out of bed when you're still healing" he said as he went back on his feet and she also stood and let him lead her back to the divan. After she was rested in the bed, he pulled the orange blanket over her.
"Are you feeling better?" he questioned, slightly worried about what her answer may be. "It feels good to be actually able to feel something" she responded lightly, with a small smile plastered on her face. "You got my present" he said motioning towards the necklace that hung from her neck line. "I love it" she replied as she lifted it into her palm and ran her fingers along the jewel placed on it. "It's beautiful." "I'm glad you like it, but there is something else I need to speak with you about" he stated. Arwen looked concernedly up at him.
"What is it" she asked. "I still need to speak with your father about it, but I have decided that I want to train with the rangers" he said, not making eye contact with her as he did so. She reached her slender arm up and lifted his chin with her hand, so he would look her in the eyes. "Anything you want to do, I will always support you in it. I will never let you be alone in your decisions. I'll for all time be there for you" she said very seriously but at the same time, lovingly.
"I don't know how to thank you" he said clearly comforted. "You don't have to, you would never have to do anything for me to love you" Arwen reacted.
The door opened drawing the two lovers out of their conversation. "Estel I need to talk with you" Elrond said, receiving a nod from the man. "Good night" he said to Arwen as he left and followed Elrond down the hall. They went to the peredhil's study, once in there Elrond closed the door. He motioned for Aragorn to sit down in one of the velvet chair and also seated himself in the one adjacent from the one the man took.
"I need to talk to you about this Terral" the elf stated, which confused Estel because he thought for sure they would be talking about his relationship with Undomiel. "Okay" he managed to say. He told the elven lord about all the events that had occurred and about who Terral was and his past and what he planned on doing. Also his decision to train with the rangers. The whole time, Elrond sat patiently and listened to the entire story.
When Aragorn was finally finished, it took the peredhil a moment to let it all sink in before he was able to say something. "I knew something like this would happen soon enough, I just didn't think it would be when you were still so young. This proves that you will have a very dangerous and hard life ahead of you, but I know you can handle it. It will be a difficult journey for you, which brings me to another point" he paused before he continued.
"Because of your destiny, you will not take a wife until your expedition has come to an end and there is no more danger. It will be to treacherous for her to accompany you on the road that is your life until the perilous part is done and over with. I am not just talking about Arwen, you will marry no one's daughter until that day is come" he finally finished and his words made Aragorn's heart sink, but deep inside he knew that his foster father was right. "Okay, I promise you that I will not take a wife until my destiny is fulfilled."
