Disclaimer: Only the plot is ours. The characters belong to the ones who created them, J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien. Also, the only song that belongs to us is the one Gimli sings. 'Put on a Happy Face' is not ours and I do not know who wrote it…sorry.
Warning: In later chapters there will be slash which means male/male pairings (such as Draco/Harry, Legolas/Aragorn and a few other implied relationships).
Summery/Plot: Voldemort and Sauron get together in order to enforce their angry wrath upon the 'heroes' that often cause the failure of their evil plans…Sadly, it doesn't go the way they planned and chaos ensues!
Chapter 3: Of Dinner Parties, Drunken Dwarves, and Unexpected Trips
Legolas Greenleaf stared off into the distance, his eyes wandering over the grassy hills. Behind him he could hear happy voices and laughter (not to mention a very drunk Gimli singing dwarf drinking songs) coming from the hall that connected to the small garden-like area where he now stood. He could not celebrate now; he had a terrible feeling that something was going to happen. Legolas shifted his feet slightly as he heard footsteps approach. He knew who the approaching person was without even having to look at him.
"Come, Legolas, you are missing the celebration," said Aragorn as he stopped beside Legolas.
"Something is not right," said Legolas, moving his gaze from the land to Aragorn, "Something is going to happen, something terrible."
"It can not be Sauron," said Aragorn in a quick, almost hushed voice, "He is dead. Dead and gone, the ring is destroyed."
"There are other evils in the world besides Sauron.""Are you sure?" asked Aragorn, "Are you sure something is going to happen?"
"Have I ever led you wrong before?" asked Legolas, almost bitterly."We will talk about it tonight with the others," said Aragorn, "For now, come back to the party."
With that Aragorn turned and walked back into the noisy hall. Legolas sighed watching Aragorn go before following him into the hall. And once setting foot inside, he instantly regretted it. All of the Fellowship was sitting around a table but Gimli who was standing atop it, singing a large mug of ale back and forth and singing loudly.
"Oh! Behind the mithril coat
And the wild mane of hair!
Past the rock hard voice and long, coarse beard,
You'll find the face of my lady fair.
Oh! She dances like forge fire
And loves her share of beer!
I once saw her on a wonderful 'morn
Inside a tavern very near.
An' she was singing;
'A pint and a keg, a cup or two,
Come one, come all my boys and pick up a drink!'
'A shot and a mug, a goblet or two,
Come one, come all my boys and pick up a drink!'"
Gimli suddenly went tumbling off the table and landed on his backside. He grinned up at Legolas, "Ah, there ya are, elf, my lad! Will you dance with me?"
"No, Gimli, I'd prefer to sit this one out," said Legolas, sitting down beside Aragorn and leaning back in his chair.
Frodo, who sat on the other side of Legolas, frowned in concern at the elf's behavior, "Is everything alright, Legolas?"
"I do not think so, Frodo. I have a feeling that something dreadful is going to happen," replied the elf, quietly, "Aragorn says we shall talk about it tonight."
"Is there to be a meeting tonight, then? asked Sam, who had been listening in on, Frodo and Legolas' conversation.
"Yes, there is Samwise Gamgee but lets not talk about it now," said Aragorn, "It is a meeting for the Fellowship and the Fellowship alone."
"Which means he doesn't want Arwen there," whispered Merry with a laugh.
"Ah, she's a kind elf but she's not as fair as the fair Galadriel," slurred Gimli, "No fair lady is as fair as the fairest lady fair Galadriel of the fair elven folk with her fair golden hair and fair skin of the fairest silk. She is the fairest of them all!"
"How many times do you reckon he can say fair in a sentence?" asked Pippin.
"I bet if we give him a few more drinks we can get him to use a whole sentence saying only fair," replied Merry.
"I'd say at least six mugs," said Pippin.
"Oh, I don't know, Pippin, I'd say eight."
"Would you make a bet on it?" asked Pippin.
"Three pints of ale, four boxes of lembas, two pounds of fresh mushrooms, and choice pickings of Farmer Maggots crop."
"You're on," said Pippin with a grin.
"If you ask my opinion," said Gandalf, casting a quite disapproving glare at Merry and Pippin before continuing, "She is not the lady she once was. Being a Queen of men has changed her. Elrond was correct in saying that she belonged with her people."
"Elessar!" cried Arwen as she hurried over from the other side of the hall and laid her arm upon Aragorn's arm, "Come and speak with Éowyn and Faramir with me, it is after all your job as King to mingle. You can't just speak to your friends the whole time."
Legolas watched Arwen as she walked over and began talking to Aragorn. To those who did not know the elf they would see nothing odd in the way he looked upon her, as always his eyes seemed to hold a distant, sad wisdom but to those who knew him for as long as the Fellowship had would notice that his gaze had hardened and grown cold and angry at Arwen's intrusion.
Aragorn nodded to his friends, smiling slightly, before standing and walking off towards Éowyn and Faramir arm in arm with Arwen.
Legolas frowned only slightly, and muttered a soft curse in elvish.
"If only she was fair like the fair lady fair Galadriel," began Gimli, as Merry and Pippin, who had obviously been goading him into talking, snickered, "But then again no fair lady will ever be as fair as the fairest lady of them all, fair queen of the fair race of elves, fair Galadriel!"
"Will you close your mouth, Gimli son of Gloin!" cried Gandalf.
Legolas stood up, "I am going outside, it is very stifling in here. I could do with some fresh air."
Nodding to them, Legolas headed back out of the hall, waiting for nightfall.
ÏabÒ
Eve had finally fallen and it found the Fellowship sitting inside the King's private chambers discussing. Most of the conversation was being held by Gimli, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf. The hobbits for the most part stayed silent and listened, only putting in a comment or two here and there.
"Legolas, I think there is no reason to worry," said Gimli, "The darkness that hung over this land is gone."
"Maybe it does not come from this land," said Gandalf.
"I think the Elf has just been away from the forest too long. He is losing sense of himself," said Gimli.
"And you, Dwarf, have been at the drink too long. You are forgetting how to address your friends," said Aragorn, eyes narrowing.
"I trust, Legolas," said Frodo, "I think he has felt something."
"Aye, I agree with Mr. Frodo. He's an elf and he knows about these things," said Sam.
"Then if that is the way we all feel," said Gandalf and at everyone's nod he continued, "We must do something about it."
"But what are we going to do?" asked Merry, "We don't even know what or where it is."
"Maybe if we sit here long enough it'll just drop on our laps," said Pippin.
A knock forced all eyes to turn to the door. Aragorn sighed and looked at his friends, "Come in."
"It's probably Arwen," muttered Merry.
"Who's not as fair as the fairest lady fair, the fair Galadriel," said Pippin, imitating Gimli, accent and all.
"Ah, close your trap, young hobbit," grumbled Gimli.
"A-hem, your majesty," said the Kings steward as he stepped in, "There is someone here to see you and your friends."
"Who is it?" asked Aragorn.
"He says his name is Peter Pettigrew, your majesty," said the steward, slowly pronouncing the odd sounding name, "And he says he is here with a message from his Lord and master."
"Very well, show him in," sighed Aragorn
"Peter Pettigrew?" What kind of name is that?" asked Sam.
"I bet he's a dwarf," muttered Legolas.
The door opened, and a fat balding man shuffled in, "A-hem, I come bearing news from his great evilness, the Lord Voldemort whose darkness is only slightly smaller then that of the great but now dead Sauron."
"And what would this news be?" asked Aragorn, standing up.
"POOF!" cried Peter and he pulled out what looked like a wand, and cried out a few more unintelligible words.
The room began to spin and Legolas could swear that the man called Peter had turned into a rat. Suddenly, it felt as if he had been grabbed about the ankle and pulled downward through the floor. He and the others had only been falling for mere seconds when they came to a stop, all of them landing with a loud crash onto hard stone floor.
"What happened?" groaned Merry as he struggled to sit up but was unable to since he was beneath Pippin.
"We poofed," said Pippin
"We noticed that, Pip, now could you please get off me!" cried Merry.
"You don't have to yell at me," said Pippin, as he stood up, "I was only answering your question."
"Looks like the Elf was right," said Gimli.
"And you mistrusted him," said Aragorn.
"Let it go, Aragorn, you did not trust me either," said Legolas, "And I can understand why…We all want peace so badly to think evil has been born again is terrifying and saddening…"
"I wonder where we are," said Gandalf.
"Bloody hell," came a voice from their left.
Almost in unison the Fellowship looked over in direction of the voice. The voice had come from a young red head that stood in a large group of other people. The red head stood in a small group with children that appeared around his age--a dark tousled haired and green eyed boy bearing a strange scar who was staring at them all in wary amazement, a frizzy haired girl, a pale haired and grey eyed boy who watched them all with guarded interest, and a pudgy, brown haired boy whose wide eyes and gaping mouth betrayed his fear. Behind the group of children stood a brown haired (though it was silvering slightly), amber eyed, middle-aged man and next to him was a large black dog.
"Oh, my," said the amber-eyed man.
"Maybe someone should go get Dumbledore," suggested the red head.
"I think it would be best if we all went to the Headmasters office," said the man.
"What is this place?" asked Aragorn, stepping forward.
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," said the dark haired boy.
"Where in Middle Earth is this Hogwarts?" asked Frodo, "And who are all of you? Do you work for that wizard that brought us here?"
"Hogwarts isn't in Middle Earth it's somewhere in Britain," said the girl, "I've never heard of a Middle Earth."
"I don't think they are from around here, Granger," said the pale haired boy, "They're dressed as if they've just walked off the pages of some muggle fantasy book."
"I don't think any of us work for the one who brought you here…What was his name?"
The Fellowship glanced at each other and there was a moment of silence, none of them able to remember what his name was.
"Voldemort," said Legolas.
The pudgy haired boy's eyes widened at the mention of the wizard and fell backwards, while the rest of the group stared at the Fellowship with wide eyes.
"That is not a good sign," said Gandalf, "I think you should take us to this Dumbledore person straight away."
ÏabÒ
"Hehe, so did you do it?" giggled Voldemort.
"Yes, my lord, they have all been sent to Hogwarts castle," replied Peter.
"And did you say it?" asked Voldemort.
"Ah, no m'lord, I'm sorry," stammered Peter, "But I didn't think they would get it…I mean, they don't even have movies where they come from."
"You…you didn't say it?" said Voldemort and then he slumped back into his chair and then he covered his face with his hands and cried out loudly, "You've gone and ruined everything! That's it! I don't want to do this whole revenge thing anymore; Peter ruined my whole evil plan!"
Sauron sighed and rubbed his temples as Voldemort sobbed loudly, "He has a point, Voldemort. I don't think they would have understood 'I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.' Even I don't get it and I am all knowing and all powerful."
"But I wanted him to say it and this was my idea in the first place!" whined Voldemort unhappily.
"If it helps, your darkness, I did say 'poof' instead…" said Peter, nervously.
"Poof? I…well, I kind of like that," stated Voldemort, "Very well then, you won't be beaten tonight, Wormtail."
"Ah, thank you, m'lord."
Voldemort stood up grinning, "We best be going now, Wormtail. We have a Deatheaters meeting and a nice rousing chorus of 'Put on a Happy Face' to sing and then we will practice our new theme song."
"Of course, O' evil one," said Peter.
Nodding, Voldemort stood up and began singing as he walked out of the room;
"Gray
skies are gonna to clear up
Put on
a happy face!
Brush
off the clouds and cheer up
Put on
a happy face!
Take off that gloomy mask of tradgey it's not your style!
You'd looks so good that you'd be glad you decided to smile!"
The rest of the song was cut off as Voldemort shut the door behind him. Sauron sighed, staring at the closed door. Suddenly sound burst from behind the closed door,
"Pick
out a pleasant outlook!
Stick
out that noble chin!
Wipe
off that full of doubt look!
Slap
on a happy grin!
And
spread sunshine all over the place!
Just,
put on a happy face!
Put on
a happy face!
Put on
a happy face!
And if
you're feeling cross and bickerish
Don't
sit and whine!
Think
of banana splits and licorice!
And
you'll feel fine…"
Voldemort had gotten the whole castle to join him in song…He had a certain power over people to get them do what he wanted. Either that or they just couldn't stand his whining tone. Sauron was surrounded by idiots…the best idiots of course. He would have nothing but the best and when it came down to Voldemort, no idiot was better.
