Disclaimer: I think, by now, it's pretty obvious that we don't own the characters. Only the plot belongs to us.
Warning: This story contains slash which means male/male pairings. If you don't like it, don't read it. Oh...and if you don't like the story don't bother to leave a review…flames are mean and pointless.
Summery/Plot: Voldemort and Sauron get together in order to enforce their angry wrath upon the 'heroes' that often cause the failure of their evil plans…Sadly, it doesn't go the way they planned and chaos ensues!
Thank you to all our loyal, lovely readers! We love you in a platonic sense.
Chapter 8: In Which There Is An Abundance Of Talking
Merry and Pippin had stumbled across, in their opinion, the most glorious room to ever occupy a building in the known history of both Middle Earth and the Wizarding World. This room was decorated in black plush carpeting that was so soft it put Legolas' hair to shame and various yellow chairs that were so comfortable that one had to merely sit down upon it in order to feel relaxed. But it was not the comfy chairs or fine carpeting that made this room great nor was it the odd tapestry at the head of the room that depicted a badger. No, it was that the whole length and width of the walls of this room was covered with liquor cabinets.
"I think I've died and gone to heaven," murmured Merry, eyes wide.
"I-I-I have seen this much liquor since…since never!" gasped Pippin, his hand clutching his heart.
"Well, what are we doing here standing around like a young hobbit who's just tried his first puff of pipeweed?" cried Merry. "Let's dig in!"
"Way ahead of you cousin," called Pippin, his voice muffled.
Merry turned to face his cousin to find Pippin halfway immersed in one of the cabinets, all that could be seen was his back end. A hand stuck out, holding out a large, half empty bottle of orangish colored liquor out to the other hobbit.
"What's this? Odd looking isn't it?" asked Merry.
"No clue what it is but it tastes great!" said Pippin. "Makes me feel all tingly."
Merry uncorked the bottle and took a long swig as Pippin climbed out of the cupboard, arms laden with bottles.
"Now this is my idea of relaxing," stated Pippin, dumping the bottles on one of the couches and then riffling through them 'til he found a suitable one. He opened it and lightly tapped it against Merry's bottle before taking a long, slow swig.
Sometime later…
"Where's all the rum gone?" slurred Merry, reaching clumsily for another bottle.
"You've drunken it all, mate," laughed Pippin. "Glug, glug, glug, all gone!"
"I did?" asked Merry in astonishment, standing up and causing all the bottles piled on this lap to crash to the floor. "You're right…I did! What else do we have?"
"Well, we got the black stuff over there," said Pippin, pointing rather crookedly to one of the chairs and hiccupping between words. "And more of this orangey stuff…And the buttery stuff too…"
Almost tripping over a chair leg, Merry stumbled over to the chair holding the dark liquor and picked up two of the bottles. His eyes narrowed as he tried to read the label and his lips moved voicelessly as he tried to pronounce whatever the bottle said. Slowly and rather unsteady he walked back over to Pippin and sat down beside him. He placed down the two full bottles, his hand 'accidentally' brushing up against Pippin's backside.
"Who touched my arse!?" screamed Pippin, jumping to his feet only to trip over one of the empty bottles and come crashing back down to the floor. He sat back up and glared wildly around.
"It wasn't me I swear! It-it was the, uh, organ-grinders monkey!" stammered Merry, dropping the bottles onto his lap and holding up his hands defensively. "I mean his…his…banana!"
Pippin giggled, "Oh…it was just an empty bottle. Whoops!"
Merry rolled his eyes and passed one of the black liquid filled bottles to Pippin. "Bottoms up, darlin'."
Pippin giggled again as he took the bottle. He took a sip and then after a thoughtful moment of silence he said. "You know…I feel like singing…"
ÏabÒ
From his seat in his office, Albus Dumbledore heard the rather loud and off-key sounds of people singing.
"It would seem…that those two have stumbled across Helga Hufflepuff's secret store," said Albus. "She always did prefer the stronger stuff…"
"That would explain the dwarf drinking song," Gandalf commented dryly, recognizing the words from a song sung earlier by Gimli.
"Ah, so it isn't some strange beast dying. For a second I thought one of Hagrid's creatures may have gotten loose in the castle," said the Headmaster as he turned back to the chess game.
"So I understand you're something of a mentor to young Harry Potter?" asked Gandalf.
"Well, I do my best to point him in the right direction. He accomplishes everything on his own," said Albus.
"Yes, that is how it must be done. He does it in free will. He sounds a lot like Frodo."
"It seems many of us have likenesses," noted Albus sagely. "Now, I think it is time we turn our attention to more pressing matters."
"Yes. Not only do we need to be wary for any moves made by this Lord Voldemort and Sauron but we also need to look into this 'other worlds' principle," agreed Gandalf. "We need to know how many there could be in existence."
"And how to find yours and get you back to it," Albus finished.
Gandalf grinned sardonically as he opened one of the old tomes that sat piled before them. "After all, it's what we're here for."
"And all we're good for," the Headmaster added jokingly with a laugh.
ÏabÒ
Sirius and Remus, the two remaining honorable Marauders sat curled up together on the couch in front of the fireplace. Remus' head lay within the crook of Sirius' neck allowing the black-haired Marauder to comfortably rest his head against the amber-eyes werewolf's. They're hands were intertwined. Any passer-by would note that they looked like they belonged like that, so perfectly normal and infinitely right cuddled together.
"You're worrying, Remy, I can tell," said Sirius, breaking the silence. "You always grow very still and quiet when you're worrying. What's wrong?"
"How long do you think we'll be locked in the school?" asked Remus, his voice soft with concern.
"Oh…you're worried about the full moon, aren't you?" asked Sirius. "Don't be, love. With the potion you're a harmless wolf. Plus Padfoot'll be there."
"We can't just roam the castle! It's not safe. Potion or no potion, I'm still a wolf."
"We'll lock ourselves in the dungeon if we have to." He grinned crookedly. "Ruin Snape's bedchamber or something."
A honey coated laugh escaped from Remus' throat, "Oh, he'd just love that!"
"I can just see it! Fur on his bed! Drool in his shoes! Chewed up robes and chair legs! Pillow stuffing and torn pages of potions books everywhere!" said Sirius, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
"You do know in order to ruin Severus' room we'd have to go in it, Sirius," Remus said slowly.
"Oh…right…Well, some things demand sacrifice. The look on his face will outweigh the price of having to set foot into his bedroom," the smile on Sirius face faded as he noticed that his lover had fallen silent again. "Moony, love, don't worry. I promise that I won't let anything happen."
Sirius hugged him tightly, and after brushing away a stray strand of silvering ocher hair he kissed Remus on his temple.
A smile spread across Remus' face and he turned his head, placing a kiss on the dark eyed Marauder's lips. He then snuggled in closer to Sirius, and closed his eyes with a relieved sigh. "I love you, Siri."
"Love you too, Remus."
ÏabÒ
Near the one window in the 'common room', as it was called, Aragorn leaned against the wall, watching the two men that sat on the couch embracing each other. He felt a stab of jealousy—why couldn't it be like that for he and Legolas? The dark haired king risked a glance at his beloved, frowning slightly when he saw Legolas was heading up the stairs to bed. His frown deepened when he noticed Severus and Lucius standing at the edge of the stairs whispering slyly to each other. It was very odd that the potions professor chose to sleep in the dormitory instead of his private chambers like Professor McGonagall and Professor Trelawney had. Aragorn's eyes flickered back to the men on the couch and he nodded resolutely.
Silently he made his way to the two men and sat down across from them. He sat with his elbows lying on his knees and his hands clasped. He leaned forward in his seat like a child eager for the knowledge. Aragorn cleared his throat to draw their attention to him.
"Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black, I was wondering if I could take up a moment of your time," Aragorn said, his voice betraying his nervousness and sincerity of the situation.
"Please call me Remus," Mr. Lupin said, sitting up slightly but not straying from his lover's arms.
"Sirius," said Mr. Black, moving his arms about Remus' waist so that they both could sit more comfortably thought he looked slightly irritated at being disturbed.
Aragorn nodded, "I need to ask you a question."
"Ask away," said Sirius.
"I care for someone…very much…And I don't know how to tell him," said Aragorn. "I'm also afraid he doesn't feel the same way and by telling him how I feel I may scare him away…He means so much to me that I don't think I could stand losing him as a friend."
"Take a chance. Hell, it's what we did," said Sirius, smiling warmly down at the man in his arms.
"But you're situation was nothing like mine is."
"We were friends. Best friends," said Remus, a ghost of a grin spread across his face as he recalled his school years. "It was near the end of our fifth year when we first found out that we both had feelings for each other beyond friendship."
"Oh…Well, what about you're other friends? How did they react?"
Sirius chuckled, "They were shocked to say the least. But in the end, James and Lily were fine with it. They were happy that we were happy. And Peter, dealt with it even though it made him…uncomfortable."
Fey honey-brown eyes narrowed, "What that rat thought doesn't matter."
"Back then it did…" Sirius said softly. "Huh, it's funny how things change."
"What should I say to him?" asked Aragorn, too impatient for answers to listen to stories of their past.
"Oh, we can't tell you that," said Remus matter-of-factly.
"What? Why not?" Aragorn asked angrily.
"Because it has to be your own words," stated Remus.
"Just tell him how you feel. Savvy?" Sirius added.
"Thank you," Aragorn said, standing up. "I am forever in you debt for the help you have given me."
"It was nothing," said Sirius with a slight shrug as Remus nodded in agreement.
Aragorn wished the two a goodnight's sleep--though he doubted the pair would sleep much this night-- and headed up to bed, his mind going over what Remus and Sirius had said.
"I'll tell him tomorrow," Aragorn thought with surety as he climbed into the bed next to Legolas'.
ÏabÒ
Upstairs in what was originally the girl's dormitory but under the current circumstances was being used by the recently graduated Hogwart's students was Harry and Draco. They were sitting side by side on one of the beds, each had their arms around the other boy's waist and Harry's head was resting on Draco's shoulder. He felt much more comfortable about his feelings for Draco after that long talk he had had with Frodo before dinner. It had helped to hear a new point of view from someone he could relate to.
"Draco?" Can I ask you something?" asked Harry, having finally gotten up the courage to ask Draco what had caused him to act differently.
"Yes, but I can't promise I'll answer."
"Why…Why did you offer me truce? Why did you become--," stammered Harry, trying to find how to word what he meant correctly.
"Good?" asked Draco and was replied with a nod from Harry. He sighed. "Near the end of last summer, Voldemort came to the Manor to recruit me. I refused and since the spell that marks a Death Eater must be done in free will there was no way for him to force me. Anyway, Voldemort used the Cruciatus on my father for raising such an 'insolent brat', as he put it, and then on me for even daring to refuse. Voldemort left without killing me because my father convinced him that he would change my point of view. Father, Lucuis…used the Cruciatus Curse on me until I lost consciousness. When I woke up there I knew there was only one thing I could do. So I ran away to Hogwarts and contacted Dumbledore. And now, here I am." A bitter look flashed across Draco's face.
Harry tightened his grip on Draco reassuringly. His heart hurt for Draco and he felt new anger grow towards Voldemort--Voldemort who caused pain and destruction wherever he went—and Lucius who had failed in being a father.
"What made you refuse?" asked Harry.
"Honestly, I don't know…Maybe being a Death Eater wasn't for me? Maybe I didn't like who Voldemort was turning my father into…Or I just didn't agree with his motives…Or maybe…maybe it was you. Through you I saw that there was always another choice no matter how rich or how poor you were, or who your family was, or if you were a pureblood or a mudblood. I learned that nothing was set in stone unless you allowed it to be."
"So it wasn't my incredible green eyes that swayed your decision?" asked Harry, trying to lighten the mood.
Draco laughed, a true laugh that was as silver as his eyes. "Sorry, but I can't say it was your eyes. Maybe it was your lovely arse." Draco smiled slyly at his mate.
"Well, even if it wasn't because of my eyes I'm glad that you made the choice you did or we wouldn't be together."
"I'm glad too." Draco then smiled and placed a kiss on Harry's cheek. "Love you."
"Love you too," said Harry, returning the action.
"Bloody hell! Couldn't you be all lovey-dovey in private!" cried Ron, who had stepped into the room just as Draco and Harry had exchanged kisses.
"If you hadn't noticed, Weasel, this is a bedroom which means it is private," said Draco with a smirk.
"I know it's a bedroom! But it's one that everyone shares!" said Ron angrily, his hands balled into fists.
"Well, I apologize I didn't think you knew what a bedroom was. Apparently one doesn't have to see something to know what it is."
"Are you implying that I--" snarled Ron.
"Stop it!" cried Harry, cutting off Ron mid-sentence. "Can you two please not fight just for awhile?"
"I'll try," said Ron after a moment.
"No promises."
"Draco!"
"Fine, fine. I'll try for you," said Draco with a sigh.
"Thank you," said Harry, hugging him warmly. He looked over at Ron who had sat down on the bed beside theirs. "Where are Hermione and Neville?"
"Hermione's in the library hiding from Gimli and Neville's downstairs listening to some big adventure story that Sam and Frodo are telling. Something about a once good, gone bad wizard, a big flaming eye, Nosedrools or something, I didn't really catch their name, a guy named Gollum with a ring fetish, and a ring," said Ron. "Sounds like a load of bull if you ask me. What kind of moron would put all his power into one little ring?"
Both Harry and Draco shrugged. Harry blinked, a crease forming between his brows as he thought about something. "Wait, why's Hermione hiding from Gimli?"
Ron snickered. "He's stalking her. I think he's in love."
"The dwarf is smitten with Granger?! Oh, this is priceless!" cried Draco.
"Smitten?" asked Harry, raising a brow.
"Shut your gob you," Draco said.
"Why don't you make me?" Eye-brows waggled suggestively.
Smirking, Draco leaned over and planted a slow, loving kiss on Harry's lips.
"I think I'm blind!" cried Ron, pulling the comforter from his bed over his head. "Can you two not do that while I'm watching!? I mean, don't get me wrong, Harry, mate, I don't mind that you're dating the prat but do you really need to snog in front of me?"
"Well, we could always stand behind you and make out. That way we wouldn't be in front of you…" suggested Harry.
"Oh, if you'd rather Weasley you can go downstairs and watch Sirius and Remus snog," proposed Draco.
Ron moaned in despair, "I'm surrounded by homosexuals! It's like their taking over the bloody planet."
"More like a flaming planet now…" Draco said thoughtfully.
"Or a pouf planet," said Harry. "Instead of Planet Earth it can be Planet Pouf."
"And you two can be the blooming, sorry, flaming kings of Planet Pouf," cried Ron who was still hiding under the blankets. "Now will you just shut up and go to sleep."
Stifling laughter, Harry and Draco clambered under the covers and then snuggled together in a way that was reminiscent of a litter of puppies.
A silence settled over the room--A cricket chirped…a pin dropped…and a tumbleweed rolled by. Suddenly Harry sat up, his voice strangled with shock. "Sirius is dating Remus?!"
ÏabÒ
Hermione looked up from the huge, leather-bound book she was reading, her eyes darting nervously about the room. No sign of Gimli, thankfully…She wanted to kill Ron for leaving her here all alone. He was supposed to stay and defend her from psychotic dwarfs and all that other stuff boyfriends were supposed to protect their girlfriends from! She huffed angrily and slammed her book shut.
"Men are insufferable."
"Mortal men are just that," came a gruff voice from behind her.
A squeak of surprise escaped from Hermione's mouth and then upon realizing who it was she sighed, burying her face in her hands. "There's just no escape, is there?" she thought in dismay.
"That's why the immortal races make better life-partners." Gimli walked beside her and made a vain attempt in putting his arm around her waist. And her being as tall as he was and she being as tall as she was, his arm instead found itself around one of her legs.
"Like an elf?" Hermione suggested.
"Nay, those elves spend too much time talking to trees, singing about leaves, eating their diet, poncy, 'lembas' way-bread, and mourning about the price of living forever," said Gimli. "They're no fun at all, lass. Not someone you'd want to bring to a Dwarf Beer Christening or a Mithril celebration."
"I'm going to kill Ron," she thought angrily.
"Good thing I'm not planning on attending one of those then. As…fascinating as they sound I doubt we have any of those around here," Hermione said, tucking her book beneath her arm. "Now if you'll excuse me, I best head off to bed."
"G'night, fair Hermione. I will dream of you until we meet again!" Gimli called after her as she quickly exited the library. "And if you have any nightmares think of me and I'll chase them away!"
The common room was empty when Hermione entered it and despite knowing it was wrong and rather rude, she stomped up the stairs and into the bedroom, startlingly the occupants (Harry, Draco, Ron, and Neville) into wakefulness (Harry had finally gone back to sleep once Draco had convinced him that they would both talk to Sirius and Remus in the morning).
"'Mione, whasa matter?" Ron asked groggily, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Don't you dare talk to me, Ronald Weasley! Don't you dare!" yelled Hermione, stalking past Ron towards the last empty bed in the row. She slammed her book down on the nightstand, grabbed a pair of pj's from her trunk, and shut the trunk with a loud bang before stalking into the bathroom.
"Hell hath no fury…" said Draco.
Ron gulped nervously. "I'm in trouble…big, big trouble."
"I'm rather glad I don't have a girlfriend now," said Neville. "Are they all like that?"
Harry mumbled something unintelligible, and buried his face into the nook of Draco's neck, drifting back into sleep.
"Look's like Harry has the right idea," said Draco, yawning as he closed his eyes.
Neville nodded mutely, turning over so that his back faced Ron, Draco, and Harry, and went back to bed. Whimpering to himself Ron, feel backwards, landing with a soft thump on his mattress and pulled his comforter over his head. He prayed that he would die in his sleep since death would be a much better option than dealing with a fuming Hermione Granger.
ÏabÒ
And while men, hobbits, elves, dwarves, witches, and wizards slept and while the singing of two hobbits died down to be replaced with snores and while two wise, aged wizards worked long into the night, searching for a solution to the current predicament, two dark wizards of a considerable evil degree were plotting and planning…or at least one of them was trying too.
"Sauron! Will you read me a bedtime story!?" cried Voldemort.
"Once again, Voldie, no. I am trying to execute our evil plan," said Sauron.
"Pleaseeeeeee?" whined Voldemort.
"Can't you get one of your loyal followers to read to you?"
"No, Petey is the only one who uses different voices and he's being punished so he can't read to me!"
"I'm trying to finish this evil, revenge plan you talked me into," Sauron said, pointing a decaying finger at the mass of papers spread before him.
"Aw, come on…One story and then we'll work on the plan?"
"I really do hate you."
"No, you don't. Deep down you really love me and my evilly goodness," said Voldemort, an obvious grin plastered on his face.
Sauron sighed. He couldn't understand why he kept working with this idiot…Aside from the magic that he now had at his beck and call, the numerous followers who ran at his command, the comfortable living space, the free food, the extensive DVD collection, the wonderful health and dental plan, and the lovely message chair, he wasn't entirely sure. Fine! So sue him! He couldn't get this done without the fools help.
"Fine…one story," said Sauron. "And then, Voldie, you have to work on the evil plan, understand?"
"Yes, Saury. Do you like your new nickname? I thought since you called me Voldie I should give you a nickname."
"It's wonderful. My heart has stopped from the intense amount of joy that has been placed upon it."
"Oh…good," Voldemort said, holding a book out to 'Saury'. "Here, this one is my favorite."
"Now..." Sauron opened the offered book and began to read. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…"
Note from the authors: Yes, yes, I know. This chapter was a bit more serious than usual. But it was needed; some things had to be explained. Plus as a bonus there was plenty of fluffy, cute stuff! :grins: Anyway, if all goes well it shouldn't take to long till we update again.
Oh :Blaise and Sven nudge their muses who then point down at the review button: Reviews are what keep us going!
