Chapter 6
"Captain, may I have a word with you in your ready room," T'Pol asked Archer just before his shift came to an end.
"Lead the way," he said, sweeping his hand toward the door.
Archer's good humor vanished the second the door swished closed behind him. Sitting at the table was a very cranky linguist.
"It is illogical to keep Ensign Sato from completing the assignment that you gave her," the Sub-commander said in response to the betrayed look flung her way.
"I have cleared your schedule enough to allow a 45-minute session with the ensign starting at 1915 hours," she continued. "Once she is allowed to finish this experiment for Starfleet, she will be able to continue increasing the efficiency of the Universal Translator."
Archer looked ready to argue, but faced with a smug Vulcan and a ready-to-attack human, he reluctantly gave in.
"I suppose we can meet at my quarters. At least Porthos will enjoy the session," he grumbled, turning on his heels and walking out of the room without saying another word.
"T'Pol, you are my hero," Hoshi said as she got up to follow her last interviewee out the door.
"Captain Archer was being illogical about this situation, even for a human," the Vulcan replied. "But I believe the correct answer is, 'You are welcome.'"
***
Hoshi arrived outside of Archer's door 10 minutes early. Sure enough, the guilty-looking man was just making a hasty exit.
"Uh, Hoshi. You're early," he said, tugging a reluctant-looking beagle out the door with him.
Giving him a glare that had taken the fight out of many other men, Hoshi drummed her fingers against her hip.
"Going somewhere," she asked sweetly.
Archer gulped.
"Just a quick errand to run," he said in a rush.
Hoshi held out her hand for Porthos' leash.
'Why don't I watch Porthos for you, then? You know how he tends to want to play and scamper about," she said quietly but with a deadly gleam in her eyes. "You wouldn't want him to make you late, now would you?"
Porthos looked happily on as the two humans faced off. Master smelled scared, but the nice lady smelled strong. Knowing who to kiss up to, the dog eagerly scampered over to Hoshi and jumped up for a kiss.
"Traitor," Archer muttered as he handed over the leash, thinking how close he was to running from a date he would rather not keep.
***
Porthos happily chased after the ball Hoshi threw against the wall for the hundredth time.
"Quick errand, he said. Be right back, he said," Hoshi complained to Porthos. "Would serve him right if I talked to his mother and got her to answer my questions."
The Beagle trotted back to Hoshi and laid the soggy ball in her lap.
"Hey, boy. How would you like to help your Aunt Hoshi? Do you know anything secret about your master?" she asked as she gingerly put the dripping ball on Archer's pillow.
Barking excitedly, Porthos ran over to the other side of his master's bunk and began tugging at a blue satchel nearby. Dragging it over to Hoshi, the dog nosed it up against her leg and sat down with a satisfied "Woof."
Torn between not wanting to snoop and wanting to get back at the man who had kept her waiting 20 minutes so far, Hoshi decided to give in to temptation.
She opened the bag and pulled out ... yarn?
"What the ....." she mumbled as she reached in and pulled out two long and skinny sticks.
"Oh my god," she said in surprise. "The macho-man knits!"
Hoshi pulled out what looked like an almost finished doggie sweater. She held the red garment up against Porthos' fur.
"He has a good sense of color color, too," she said before giving Porthos a delighted hug. "Maybe it's a good idea to get some help for this."
*****
Archer decided a half-hour would be just enough time for Hoshi to realize she would be better off skipping him in the newsletter.
Whistling softly, he opened his door to find Hoshi at his computer, happily talking to someone.
"The other kids called him Piglet because of his favorite pink sweater," he heard a familiar voice call out. "He would wear it for days at a time."
"Mom, what are you telling her? " he yelled as he ran over to Hoshi's side.
He looked at his mother's stern face and realized he would get no sympathy from her, either.
"Jonny Archer, how dare you keep this sweet girl waiting! I raised you better than this," she scolded. "You are just lucky that I didn't have time to pull out your baby pictures, especially the one with you peeing on our new, white rug."
Archer groaned. He was dead meat. Visions of Trip and Travis making snorting sounds swam before him.
"I need a drink," he said to the ceiling.
"Fine. You just do that and let me finish my conversation with Ms. Sato. And that reminds me, Hoshi. You should have seen Jonny the first time he had too much to drink..."
